Disclaimer:

            Willow:  Oooooooh!  Now I get it! 

            Giles:  Get what?

            Willow:  Joss owns us!  Joss is a writer like these two crackheads with the rhyming names on the island with us.

            Kelley:  (suddenly appearing) Hey!  I resemble that remark!

            [Everyone except for Shelley jumps in shock.  Kelley and Shelley begin chatting]

            Kelley:  So, what have you been up to?

            Shelley:  Me and Xander played in the sand.  We made a sand city!

            Kelley:  (pats Shelley on the head) That's nice, dearie.

            Shelley:  I'd ask what you were up to, but I already have an idea you sly dog!

            [Kelley giggles like a school girl]

            Shelley:  But I'm cooler cuz I have a tan now!

            Kelley:  (glares) In my defense, I don't tan.  I just burn and then it goes away and I'm my usual paleness once more.  I can't help it if the sun hates me.

            Drusilla:  Yes, the sun is a cruel, cruel fiend.  Up there in the sky…laughing!

            Kelley:  Ok, I was just making sure everyone was still alive.  Toodles! (disappears in a puff of smoke)

            Buffy:  (mumbles) I wish I could disappear like that.  I don't get any cool powers.

            Shelley:  Whatever!  Helllllllllllllloooooo!  Slayer strength.  Handy dandy when you need to lift heavy objects.

            Cordelia:  Don't you need to go off and play with Xander or something?

Shelley:  Well, we finished our sand city.  Now I want to go in the cave.  Xander, wanna go to the cave?  We're good and tan now.  We can make Kelley and Spike feel really pale.

Xander:  Hmmm.  Annoy Spike?  What's not to love?  Let's go!  Can we disappear in a puff of smoke too?

Shelley:  Not quite.  That's Kelley's thing.  But I have something better.  (looks up) Beam me up, Scottie!

[Xander and Shelley disappear Star Trek style]

Buffy:  (stomps her foot) Why can't I get in the cave?  Joss owns us!  But Kelley and Shelley are the ones who really enjoy torturing us!

Angel:  No, just you, Buffy.

Giles:  (holding up the hard copy of "I'll Most Likely Kill You In The Morning") Angel, did you even read their last story?

[Shelley and Kelley reappear]

Shelley:  It was all done in love!

Kelley:  Yeah!  We love you, Angel!  We really do!

[Shelley and Kelley hug Angel]

Shelley:  But it was just too easy!

[Shelley and Kelley disappear in a puff of smoke]

Willow:  I wish they'd quit doing that!

Angel:  (snatches copy of story from Giles' hand) What have they done to me?  (flips through the story) What?!?!?!? (begins to brood)

A/N:  Our next chapter!  Hahahah!  We thought we'd give you a prize for waiting so long!  Booyah!

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At the Summer's residence, another unusual scene was unfolding.  Buffy and Dawn were preparing dinner.  Spagettios, of course.  This was a new and strange ritual, after all.

Dawn looked up from where she was stirring the mixture.  "Should we, like, make a salad or something?" she asked.

Buffy debated the question for a moment.  "Do we have any of the prepackaged bags of lettuce and carrots, and stuff?" she asked, rummaging through the fridge.  She started to dig through the assorted pieces of Tupperware, soda cans, and juice containers.

"Aha!" she shouted triumphantly, throwing a bag onto the counter.  She closed the door.  "We've even got two kinds of salad dressing," she added, waving the half-empty bottles for emphasis.  "So, what's the tally up to now?"

"We've got spagettios, easy-bake garlic bread, salad…oh!  And those little cookies that you just break off and bake."

"I think there's some kind of snazzy technical name for those things," Buffy mused.

Dawn just waved the thought away and continued where she left off.  "Root beer for me, diet for you.  Why do you drink diet anyway?  You have super metabolism."

"I like the taste," Buffy defended.

"Please!  No one REALLY likes the taste of diet.  You afraid you'll get fat?" Dawn mocked.

"No!" Buffy exclaimed.  "I just got used to drinking it when I was still a ditzy airhead, and never broke the habit."

"Come on!  Try a root beer.  You know you wanna," Dawn wheedled.  She took the can and started waving it slowly in front of Buffy's face.  "Rood beer, root beer," she chanted.

"No!  I don't want a root beer dammit!"

The argument came to an abrupt halt as the door burst open.  Dawn used her soda can as a projectile weapon, and hurled it at the intruder.

"Ow!  My nose!" Spike howled.  "I think you broke my bloody nose!"

"Oh!  Sorry, Spike," Dawn exclaimed.  "I thought we were being attacked."

"You threw that, Nibblet?" Spike asked.

"Yeah," Dawn admitted sheepishly.  "Sorry."

Spike tried to set his nose and howled in pain again.  Dawn looked guilty.  She glanced at Buffy and saw her desperately trying to hold in a fit of giggles.

"Stop being such a baby," Buffy demanded.  "You're a big bad vampire.  You can take assault by root beer."

Xander finally managed to wobble in the door.  "Hey, what'd I miss?"

"Dawn broke Spike's nose," Buffy supplied.

"Way to go, Dawn Patrol!" Xander cheered.

Dawn took a little bow.  "So, did you guys just smell the food, or did you need something?"

"Well, before my nose got broken," Spike began.

Buffy scowled.  "Oh, for the love of Pete!"  She walked, grabbed his nose, and snapped it back in place.  Spike cried out in pain, his eyes watering.  Standing on her tiptoes, she kissed the end of his nose.  "There.  All better," she said, smiling.  He managed to smile and lift one eyebrow through the pain.  She put a towel in his hand and held it up to his nose.  "Don't bleed on my floor."

That problem solved, Dawn and Xander began making gagging noises.  "Get a room, you guys!"

Buffy and Spike shared a knowing look and rolled their eyes.

"Seriously, though," Buffy continued.  "What are you doing here?"

"It's kind of a funny story really," Spike said.  His voice was remarkably unmuffled by the towel he still held to his nose.  Guess that was one of the advantages of not having to breathe.  "You see, the whelp and I decided to drop in on the Watcher and Dru earlier.  The whelp was taking her a present, seeing as she protected him and all, and Ripper got mad at us for keeping him from going to bed.  You know, he's keeping really weird hours."

"Is there a point here?" Buffy asked, slightly unnerved by his babbling.  She'd only heard him do it a couple of times, and it usually meant a startling revelation.  Like when she found out he was in love with her.

Spike looked at Buffy nervously.  He didn't know how to put what he was about to tell her into words.

"I heard Miss Edith!" Xander exclaimed.

"What?" Buffy and Dawn asked simultaneously.

"I heard Miss Edith.  I went to see Drusilla.  We talked for a couple of minutes, and then Miss Edith said something that I can't repeat in front of Dawn."

Buffy and Dawn gaped at Xander.  Buffy went over to Xander and felt his forehead.


"You don't feel warm.  Sit down while I get the thermometer."

"Buffy, I'm not delirious!" Xander exclaimed, but sat in the chair anyway.  Hobbling around on crutches all day took a lot of effort.

"I'm pretty sure he's telling the truth, Slayer," Spike argued.

"Why would I lie about this?" Xander asked.  "Miss Edith may look like a doll, but she's got the mind of a dominatrix!"

"That's it.  You're lying down," Buffy told him.

"Dammit!  Why don't you people ever believe me?" Xander asked, trying to stop Buffy from putting a thermometer in his mouth.

"If your temperature is normal, then I'll listen."  She stuck the thermometer in his mouth.

He crossed his arms over his chest and scowled.  "Yes, mother."

Spike snickered.  Dawn looked at him strangely.  A minute later, the thermometer beeped and showed that Xander was not delirious with fever.

Dawn smirked.  "Can we take Spike's temperature too?"

"I don't have a temperature," Spike argued.

"Yeah, take his temperature," Xander said.  "He believes me.  He might be the one that is delirious."

It was Spike's turn to scowl.  Xander covered his mouth to hide his laughter.  Buffy punched Spike in the stomach and when he opened his mouth, she shoved the thermometer in.

"I bet Angel never had to go through this shit," Spike muttered.

"Quiet!" Buffy reprimanded.  "Is that under your tongue?"

Spike smirked around the thermometer.  "Would you like to check, luv?"

"Spike, you're a pig."

"You're the one that asked," Dawn pointed out.

"Shut up, Dawn!" Buffy yelled.

Everyone waited patiently for the thermometer to beep.  They waited, and waited, and waited some more.  Finally, Buffy gave up.  "You have to be difficult with everything, don't you, Spike?  You don't register.  I guess that means you're okay.  So, what's this with Drusilla?"

Spike and Xander gave a blow by blow of the encounter.  After throwing several theories around and eating all the ready to bake cookies, they decided to give up.  They'd go to the Magic Box tomorrow and ask Giles.