Disclaimer:
[Buffy slowly wakes up and sees everyone standing over her. She scowls and pushes herself up.]
Buffy: Where am I now, guys?
Willow: You're in the cave, Buffy.
Buffy: Really? I'm actually in the cave? You guys aren't just messing with my head?
Giles: No, Buffy. We're not.
Buffy: Finally! I've been dying to see what's in here.
Angelus: That can be arranged.
Cordelia: (warning tone) Angelus…
Angelus: Sorry.
Buffy: (looking around) Well, this doesn't seem like much.
Spike: That's cuz we've already cleaned up the place.
Buffy: Why?
Anya: Because the story is almost over. There is only one more chapter after this. Then we get to go home.
Buffy: What?
Anya: Because the story is almost over. There is only one more chapter after…
Buffy: I heard you the first time!
Anya: Then why did you ask again?
Buffy: I was in a state of shock! It was a rhetorical question!
Spike: Well keep your big mouth shut next time.
Kelley: Joss owns all. Yada yada yada…
Shelley: Yeah, what she said.
Buffy: Guys, what was in the cave before you cleaned it out?
Spike: (shrugs) Just stuff.
Buffy: What kind of stuff?
Kelley: Toys…
Shelley: Video games…
Xander: Junk food…
Spike: You know…stuff.
Buffy: Did everyone see the cave but me?
[Everyone nods to the slayer.]
Buffy: Dammit! My life sucks.
A/N: This is it everyone! After this, all we have is the epilogue! Hope you've enjoyed our insane ride. Thanks to all our wonderful reviewers! We now have 101 reviews…quite a bit more than what we got for our last story. Maybe we can get more for the sequel to this one. Just a hope. We hope you like this chapter. Yeah, this story didn't have a really big climax or anything suspenseful. Everything big should happen in the next story…when all hell breaks loose. Hence the reason for the title (At My Signal, Unleash Hell). Hopefully, this will not be the end of all our favorite characters. Bwahahahaha!!
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The groups from Sunnydale and L.A. walked back into the Hyperion somewhat tired.
"Well, it looks as though Operation Rescue the Annoyances was a waste of time," Cordelia commented. "So much for that redemption you were hoping for, Angel."
Angel glared. "I should get redemption just for having to consider rescuing Spike, Xander…and…Lindsey apparently," he said with a look of disgust on his face.
"So, uh, where are they?" Fred asked.
Everyone looked around once they realized Xander, Spike, and Buffy were missing.
"Don't you think we should try to find them?" Tara asked.
"No! There is no need to have Spike or Xander here anytime soon," Angel replied. "Maybe they got lost," he added under his breath.
"Someone's never getting redemption with talk like that," Dawn spoke loudly.
Angel glared at the teenager.
"What? Not able to argue?" Dawn egged on.
"Be quiet, Dawn," Angel warned. She'd been bothering him ever since they arrived in L.A.
"Oh, now I'm scared!" Dawn cried in mock horror.
"Get a life, kid," Angel retorted.
"I am not a kid!" Dawn yelled back. "Have you forgotten that I'm like a billion years older than you or something?"
"Oh, please. That means nothing to me. You look like a kid."
"Well…at least I don't have stupid hair!"
"My hair is not stupid!"
"It is sooooo stupid. It sticks straight up!"
"You better watch it, little girl," Angel warned.
"I'm telling Buffy you threatened me!"
Everyone watched in amusement and annoyance as Angel and Dawn bickered. It was like watching a ping pong match.
"You do that, Dawn," Angel said. "I'm not the one who started this!"
"Oh yes you are! You started it!"
"I did not!"
"Yes you did!" Dawn cried. "You and your stupid hair!"
"You started it! And for the last time, I DO NOT have stupid hair!"
Dawn sauntered over to the bird cage and smiled ruefully. "Spike told me about your little phobia, Angel."
"You wouldn't!" Angel cried.
"Wanna bet?" she taunted, raising her hand to the door of the bird cage.
Gunn widened his eyes in horror at the look on Angel's face. "Oh, now you've done it!" he hollered as Angel took off after Dawn.
Dawn squealed and ran away from the bird cage. Angel chased after her.
"Bring it on, Soul Boy!" Dawn hollered even though she continued to run from the vampire.
"I've never seen anything like this," Willow commented to the rest of the group who was watching the event, mouths agape. They watched as Dawn hid behind the counter until Angel jumped over it. He chased her around the couch a few times. Dawn squealed in terror while Angel chased her with a smile on his face.
"Should we…do something?" Fred asked nervously.
"No, but they better not…" Something fell to the ground and shattered. Cordelia flinched. "…break anything."
The chase continued, and it was obvious to everyone that Angel was not running at full speed. Another squeal was heard from Dawn. Angel was actually…laughing.
"Buffy is so going to kill you!" Dawn screamed.
At that time, Buffy, Spike, Xander, and Lindsey entered the hotel. They stopped immediately when they saw what was going on. Xander scratched his head. Spike let out a cheer for Dawn. Buffy watched in confusion.
"What is going on?" Buffy asked.
"I…don't really know," Wesley replied.
"Angel so better have the money to repair that vase he and Dawn broke," Cordelia commented.
"Buffy!" Dawn cried out breathlessly. "Save me!"
Finally, Angel caught Dawn and grabbed hold of her. Dawn screamed.
"Who has the stupid hair now, huh?" Angel asked while giving Dawn a noogie. "Who has the stupid hair? Tell me. Who is it?"
"You do!" Dawn managed between laughs. Angel ran his hand as fast as he could over Dawn's head, making her hair messy as possible.
"Who did you say, Dawn?"
"Aaaaaah!" Dawn cried. "Stop it!"
"Not until you admit you have stupid hair!"
"Neverrrrrrr!" Dawn replied.
Angel found a cold cup of coffee and held it over Dawn's head. "Who has stupid hair?"
Dawn surrendered. "I do! I do!"
Angel laughed and placed the cup back on the counter. He let go of her and she immediately started fixing her hair back.
"Ok, did we just enter the Twilight Zone or something?" Xander asked.
Drusilla clapped gleefully. "My White Knight!" She ran up and gave him a hug. "I was so worried about you, my sweet."
Xander was nervous at first about Drusilla being away from her violence-free room back in Sunnydale. He tentatively placed an arm around her shoulders and patted her back. Then he mentally slapped himself and put his other arm around her too.
"Miss Edith missed you," Drusilla cooed. Xander's face reddened when he heard what Miss Edith had to say. Drusilla gasped. "Oh! Now I have to punish her again. She says such naughty thing when you're around!"
"I…can't imagine why," Xander said, embarrassed because everyone was staring at him.
"Oh, please do share with the rest of us," Spike suggested.
"NO!" Buffy, Xander, Angel, Cordelia, Willow, and Giles all screamed in unison.
"Bugger," Spike said with a pout.
Xander continued to hug the vampire who was keeping a tight grasp on him.
The group watched in silence until Dawn broke it.
"Buffy, Angel threatened me."
"Hey!" Angel called.
"Why?" Buffy asked.
"She made fun of Angel's over-gelled, spikey hair," Anya replied.
Angel and Spike glared at the ex-demon.
"I resent that," Spike said. "Can't you find another adjective aside from spikey?"
Anya shrugged.
"Why is he here?" Angel asked, finally noticing Lindsey standing behind everyone else.
Everyone turned to look at the intruder.
"Spike invited me," Lindsey said with a smile.
"He would," Angel said quietly. He looked at Lindsey. "Well, you can go away now."
"Actually, you have something of mine and I want it back," Lindsey stated.
"And what would that be?" Angel asked.
"Frankenfurter," Lindsey answered.
"What? Who?" Giles asked.
"Frankenfurter," he repeated. "Well, actually, you know him as Bob."
Angel gaped. "That…thing is yours?"
Lindsey nodded with an evil grin.
"See? I told you the creature was evil!" Angel exclaimed. "Look at who owns him."
"For the last time, Angel, that bird is not evil!" Cordelia cried.
"Hello! Yes it is! Remember? It chanted to me in Latin," Angel said.
"I'm sure you're exaggerating," Cordelia replied.
"Actually, he's telling the truth. Frankenfurter is evil. I bought him from the wife of one of the Senior Partners."
"Told you," Angel said to Cordelia then whipped his head back to Lindsey. "What?"
"Oh, come on, Peaches. Even I knew he was evil. Figured it out the second the two ladies brought him in here. That's what made hiding Angelus' hair gel in there so much fun." Spike rolled his eyes. "Geez! It even says 'Warning: Evil Parrot' on the floor of its cage!"
"How come it only spoke Latin to Angel then?" Wesley questioned.
"Easy. He hates Angel," Lindsey answered.
"Why?" Fred asked.
"Cuz I trained him to. Of course, if I'd known that Angel was terrified of birds, I never would have bothered training Frankie to hate him. It still would have been just as interesting."
"Hot dog, you're a genius!" Xander said with a smile.
"So, how'd you two get your hands on him?" Angel asked Cordelia and Fred.
"He was trying to sell us insurance," Fred said.
"Oh, you weren't joking that time," Angel replied.
"But, where did you get him?"
"Well, if you must know," Cordelia began, "someone standing….outside Wolfram & Hart…sold him to us. We thought the little guy was cute."
"Cute?" Angel cried. "No! Not cute…evil!"
"Did you see them trying to sell the bird to anyone else?" Wesley asked.
"Well, no," Cordelia half-grinned. "Actually, the guy…approached us."
Angel smacked his forehead. "And that didn't seem suspicious to you?"
Cordelia pushed her hair behind her ear. "Well…no. Not at the time!"
"Why would Wolfram & Hart want to give us Lindsey's parrot though?" Wesley asked.
"The little bird is supposed to tell secrets to the evil lawyers," Drusilla answered.
"The bird's a spy?" Gunn asked. He chuckled.
"Well, technically, he's supposed to be a spy. That is what was intended, but he was actually a bird that spied on Wolfram & Hart," Lindsey admitted.
"So? What's your point?" Angel asked.
"My point is that selling the bird for their benefit was basically pointless."
"Why?" Wesley asked.
"Because…he may hate Angel, but he hates Wolfram & Hart even more," Lindsey stated.
"He does?" Cordelia asked. "Why?"
"I trained him to. I mean, I hate Wolfram & Hart, so I figured Frankie should too."
"You hate Wolfram & Hart that much?" Wesley narrowed his eyes. "Why?"
Lindsey sighed, tired of the "why" questions. "Because I got tired of the way they did things. Now, stop asking me questions. If you don't mind, I'll just take my bird and go. Any objections?"
"Nope," Angel replied quickly. "Please…go. And take your evil creature with you."
Lindsey grabbed the bird cage and smiled. "So, how you been, Frankie?"
The bird squawked. "I hate Angel." Squawk.
Lindsey laughed. "Glad to hear it."
"You've got to come see us again some time in Sunnyhell, mate," Spike said. "You are a bloody genius."
"Thanks." He nodded. "I gotta go back at some point and get my car anyway."
"See ya, Lindsey," Xander said.
Lindsey grinned. "I'll find you when I'm in town. Later guys." He waved and walked out the door.
"Bye, Lindsey," Spike said once more after the door was closed. "Man, I'm sure going to miss him," Spike said with a sniffle. "He's such a…neat guy," he choked out.
Xander patted Spike on the back. "There there, Spike." He blinked his eyes a few times. "We'll see him again."
"Really? You mean it?" Spike asked.
"Yeah, he'll be back," Xander replied.
"Oh my god!" Angel exclaimed. "I'm not hearing this! He's the bad guy!"
"Hey! Don't say that!" Spike warned.
Buffy bit her lip to keep from laughing. "Oh, Spike. It'll be okay. Really."
"Thanks, Slayer."
"Anytime, Spike."
"Well, at least you don't have to work for Wolfram & Hart now," Willow said.
"Yeah. Good thing," Buffy said with a nervous laugh.
"I wonder what they wanted you to do for them," Dawn said.
"Oh, who cares now?" Spike asked. "What's important is that we're all safe now."
"Yeah. Right," Cordelia said with a curious glance. "I still want to know why the Senior Partners want you dead, Xander."
Xander shrugged. "I don't know. Probably mistook me for someone else…or something like that."
"Mm-hmm," Cordelia replied, not believing him.
"Man, I'm starving," Xander said, changing the subject quickly. "Anyone else?"
Everyone nodded.
"Spike, will you get me something from the kitchen? I'm really tired," Buffy said with a grin.
Spike smirked. "As you wish." He bowed and turned around. "Vampboy, I'm lazy. Do everything for me!"
"Spike!" Buffy tackled the vampire from behind.
Spike laughed. "Vampboy, don't make fun of me!" He turned over and smiled at the Slayer.
Buffy straddled him. "Spike, you're a pig."
"Oink oink, Slayer."
Buffy glared. "Don't make me hurt you."
"Sounds like fun, pet."
She rolled her eyes, then leaned forward, planting a big kiss on Spike's lips. She pulled back and looked him in the eyes. "Don't ever scare me again like that. Understand me? No more getting kidnapped."
"Aw, Slayer. I'm glad you care so much."
"I'm serious. Don't ever leave me, Spike."
Spike touched the side of Buffy's face. He frowned. "I haven't planned on it, Buffy."
"Good." She leaned forward and kissed him again. He put his arms around her and held her tightly.
"What the hell?" Willow asked. "When did this happen? They're kissing."
"Yes, Willow, they are," Anya replied. "They might even start copulating too. Be quiet so we can watch."
Spike and Buffy pulled apart at that moment and stood up quickly. Giles took off his glasses and wiped them.
"My word, Anya. There's an image I could have easily lived without."
Anya pouted. "Please, go back to your kissing. Don't let us stop you."
"Hush, Anya!" Giles cried.
"Geez! Sorry. Someone's cranky."
"I still want to know why I'm the only one that seems surprised by this Spike-Buffy…thing," Willow said.
"Oh, I'm surprised too," Giles replied.
"It's not a thing, Willow," Buffy snapped.
"Sorry," Willow murmured.
"Food. Now," Xander said.
Everyone headed towards the kitchen.
"Vampboy, gimme a piggy back ride," Buffy ordered.
"As you wish, luv."
Buffy jumped on Spike's back and gave him a big hug around his neck.
Drusilla smiled. She looked at Xander. "Camelot is a silly place."
Xander nodded in agreement.