Holy Rollers
Buffy walked into the apartment at about 7 in the morning. The rest of the clan was still up, just sitting dumbly in a circle, staring into space. They had tried getting a dialog going but no one was really in the mood. Only Dawn and Spike looked up when she walked in.
"Buffy…" Spike began apologetically.
Buffy threw her hands up into the air. "Don't. Just…don't worry about it." Spike was staring at her as if she had just proposed marriage or something equally ridiculous. He had obviously been expecting her to hit him or scream or something. Eight years ago, she would have. But tonight she wasn't in the mood. And besides, he did intentionally spare Riley's life. The phone rang and Buffy absently picked it up. "Hello?"
"Hi. May I speak to Dawn please?"
Buffy paused. "Is this Willow?"
Willow jumped. "Buffy?"
"Yeah…" There was a long pause. And then both of them started talking at once. "Oh my Gosh…How the hell are you?…You're in New York with Dawn?…Where are you living now? San Fran, eh?…I spoke to Xander the other day…I haven't really spoken to anyone… Me too…I missed you, you know…"
"Buffy!" Dawn cut off the wild rambling, but she was smiling broadly. "Blood?"
"Oh, yes! Yes. The blood. Did you get the samples OK? I don't usually trust US Mail overnight but it was all I could afford."
"Yeah, I got 'em OK."
"Well, what did you find?"
Willow then went on to explain something that she seemed to have a hard time understanding herself. She had found traces of a demon poison in the blood sample, which she admitted was very clever of the poisoner, since most respectable scientists would never even think to look for that, even the more liberal ones at Berkley, where she currently worked. The particular poison came from a metsana demon. It's very weak in a single dose, but over time it can gradually lower your immune system until a simple cold can knock you on your ass for weeks. There were some written accounts of alleged witches slipping teaspoons of the stuff into their husbands dinner every night as a means of getting at their fortune or what have you. If you didn't know what you were looking for, it would be easy to assume the person died of natural causes. Willow, of course, didn't buy it.
"Witches aren't that patient," she said matter of factly. "I mean, if we were, we wouldn't be witches. We'd just sit around and wait for nature to take care of things like everyone else."
Buffy didn't feel much more enlightened. If the poison was that weak, then why would they administer it in blood transfusions where most people just get a single dose? "Does the poison effect vampires at all?" she asked.
"No," Willow said over a furious chorus of keyboard strokes. She was obviously at her computer. "It shouldn't anyway…why do you ask?"
"Well, the stuff we sent you has been acting like a sort of vampire Raid. Kills vamps dead, as it were."
"Really?" Willow asked. "Hmmm. This is so bizarre. There's really only one thing I can possibly think of that would cause that to happen. I noticed that the poison also seemed to be watered down a bit, which again, was really strange. Even weirder was that it seemed to be spring water, or at least run through the Brita a few times. There were no traces fluoride or lead in there at all. Which was kinda amusing. I mean, you're poisoning people. Why should it matter if the water isn't what it means to be from Maine? But if you said that it's killing vampires, well, then maybe it's Holy water."
"Holy water?" Buffy shrieked. How Exorcist. She wondered if Spike's head would start spinning if she splashed some on him.
"Holy water?" the entire house questioned in unison.
"Yes, Holy water," Willow said, laughing slightly. "Holy water is almost always purified. And although obviously it's not chemically different from H2O, we are dealing with a magical substance. Its water with what's essentially a spell cast on it. Maybe it has some sort of reaction with the poison in vampires. I've never heard of that happening before but let's face it, there's a lot I don't know. If I had a body or something that I could examine I might be able to give you a more conclusive analysis…."
"But the effect would be the same for humans?" Buffy asked.
"I'm pretty sure."
"Shit."
"Buff, what's going on?"
"The Initiative has this stuff. And frankly, I'm afraid they're going to do something rash."
"The Initiative? Yikes. That is definitely ungood. Well…" Willow said with an audible grin. "If they're up to no good, then it's up to you to stop them," she said in her best radio drama voice. It had been a long time since she and her friends had been up to stopping anything.
"It's up to us, Wil. Do you know what the anecdote is?"
"I'm two steps ahead of you," she said in a mock official voice. "This is fun. Being Informo Girl. It's been a while since I donned the proverbial Velma glasses." Tap, tap, tap, tap went the keyboard. "Oh, it's so simple. You can get most of this stuff at a hippie health food store."
Buffy ran to find something to write on and started scribbling the recipe down on the back of some rolling paper. "Got it. Thanks so much, Willow. You have been invaluable. As always."
"No, thank you. This was nice, this little venture down memory lane. Did you miss this stuff?"
Buffy smiled. "You know, now that you mention it….kinda."
Buffy walked into the apartment at about 7 in the morning. The rest of the clan was still up, just sitting dumbly in a circle, staring into space. They had tried getting a dialog going but no one was really in the mood. Only Dawn and Spike looked up when she walked in.
"Buffy…" Spike began apologetically.
Buffy threw her hands up into the air. "Don't. Just…don't worry about it." Spike was staring at her as if she had just proposed marriage or something equally ridiculous. He had obviously been expecting her to hit him or scream or something. Eight years ago, she would have. But tonight she wasn't in the mood. And besides, he did intentionally spare Riley's life. The phone rang and Buffy absently picked it up. "Hello?"
"Hi. May I speak to Dawn please?"
Buffy paused. "Is this Willow?"
Willow jumped. "Buffy?"
"Yeah…" There was a long pause. And then both of them started talking at once. "Oh my Gosh…How the hell are you?…You're in New York with Dawn?…Where are you living now? San Fran, eh?…I spoke to Xander the other day…I haven't really spoken to anyone… Me too…I missed you, you know…"
"Buffy!" Dawn cut off the wild rambling, but she was smiling broadly. "Blood?"
"Oh, yes! Yes. The blood. Did you get the samples OK? I don't usually trust US Mail overnight but it was all I could afford."
"Yeah, I got 'em OK."
"Well, what did you find?"
Willow then went on to explain something that she seemed to have a hard time understanding herself. She had found traces of a demon poison in the blood sample, which she admitted was very clever of the poisoner, since most respectable scientists would never even think to look for that, even the more liberal ones at Berkley, where she currently worked. The particular poison came from a metsana demon. It's very weak in a single dose, but over time it can gradually lower your immune system until a simple cold can knock you on your ass for weeks. There were some written accounts of alleged witches slipping teaspoons of the stuff into their husbands dinner every night as a means of getting at their fortune or what have you. If you didn't know what you were looking for, it would be easy to assume the person died of natural causes. Willow, of course, didn't buy it.
"Witches aren't that patient," she said matter of factly. "I mean, if we were, we wouldn't be witches. We'd just sit around and wait for nature to take care of things like everyone else."
Buffy didn't feel much more enlightened. If the poison was that weak, then why would they administer it in blood transfusions where most people just get a single dose? "Does the poison effect vampires at all?" she asked.
"No," Willow said over a furious chorus of keyboard strokes. She was obviously at her computer. "It shouldn't anyway…why do you ask?"
"Well, the stuff we sent you has been acting like a sort of vampire Raid. Kills vamps dead, as it were."
"Really?" Willow asked. "Hmmm. This is so bizarre. There's really only one thing I can possibly think of that would cause that to happen. I noticed that the poison also seemed to be watered down a bit, which again, was really strange. Even weirder was that it seemed to be spring water, or at least run through the Brita a few times. There were no traces fluoride or lead in there at all. Which was kinda amusing. I mean, you're poisoning people. Why should it matter if the water isn't what it means to be from Maine? But if you said that it's killing vampires, well, then maybe it's Holy water."
"Holy water?" Buffy shrieked. How Exorcist. She wondered if Spike's head would start spinning if she splashed some on him.
"Holy water?" the entire house questioned in unison.
"Yes, Holy water," Willow said, laughing slightly. "Holy water is almost always purified. And although obviously it's not chemically different from H2O, we are dealing with a magical substance. Its water with what's essentially a spell cast on it. Maybe it has some sort of reaction with the poison in vampires. I've never heard of that happening before but let's face it, there's a lot I don't know. If I had a body or something that I could examine I might be able to give you a more conclusive analysis…."
"But the effect would be the same for humans?" Buffy asked.
"I'm pretty sure."
"Shit."
"Buff, what's going on?"
"The Initiative has this stuff. And frankly, I'm afraid they're going to do something rash."
"The Initiative? Yikes. That is definitely ungood. Well…" Willow said with an audible grin. "If they're up to no good, then it's up to you to stop them," she said in her best radio drama voice. It had been a long time since she and her friends had been up to stopping anything.
"It's up to us, Wil. Do you know what the anecdote is?"
"I'm two steps ahead of you," she said in a mock official voice. "This is fun. Being Informo Girl. It's been a while since I donned the proverbial Velma glasses." Tap, tap, tap, tap went the keyboard. "Oh, it's so simple. You can get most of this stuff at a hippie health food store."
Buffy ran to find something to write on and started scribbling the recipe down on the back of some rolling paper. "Got it. Thanks so much, Willow. You have been invaluable. As always."
"No, thank you. This was nice, this little venture down memory lane. Did you miss this stuff?"
Buffy smiled. "You know, now that you mention it….kinda."