A sigh sounded in the middle of nowhere.
"Mmm?" Cloud hummed, rolling over lazily. He found Tifa staring up at the blackness. She had a placid look on her face, perhaps a little wistful.
"I don't get it, Cloud.."
"What? What is it?" he asked, a slight sense of deja-vu coming over him. Hadn't a conversation of theirs started out like this before?
"Why.. why haven't we left here yet? What if we are stuck down here forever? What if the world already exploded and everyone's stuck here like this?"
He pulled her to him, a soft smile on his face. "I'd like to consider it vacation.. I don't know. Maybe just because we're tired and need time off from the whole friggin' Planet. I am sure that there is still a Planet, anyways.."
Though the idea was appealing enough, they hadn't made love to each other, not down here. Somehow, while the kiss was within unseen boundaries, sex was not, and they had both felt it and accepted it (and sort of hoped they'd be out of here soon).
They were both silent for a long time, Cloud's face half-buried in between her hair and her throat, lips touching her. Tifa, again staring up at where she wished there were stars.
She knew his eyes were open.
"What are you thinking of?" she asked him.
"Sugarplums."
A smile trickled along the soft lines of her face.
"Do you know the feeling you get, when you repeat a word too often it loses its meaning?"
"Yeah." she whispered.
"That counts for my life right now. I've gone over everything in my head so often that I just don't know what anything means anymore."
She kissed him, suddenly exuberant at the realization she could kiss him whenever she wanted now. She laughed through the kiss, and he did too.
"It's okay. All in good time, love. You'll find your way sooner or later, I'm sure of it."
He looked at her. She couldn't help but start to feel a bit nervous with those endless eyes so.. totally interested in her. She couldn't help but grin, either.
"Are you really alright?" she asked him.
"Yes. I really am. For the first time in a gazillion years. I.. I'm not looking forward to going back all that much, to tell you the truth. But at this point, the idea of facing Yuffie scares me more than that of facing Sephiroth."
Tifa's laugh was sweet, but he heard the sadness as it died away.
"But yeah.. no more complaining from me, I promise. Besides, you'll notice firsthand.. I'll never be more than a few feet away from you anyway, when we get back up there." And he smiled at her.
"Cloud.. was Aeris in love with you? Did you ever.. consider loving her?" she asked abruptly. The indifference in her voice had been crafted, become normal after long years of protecting her innermost feelings as a priority. She needed to know this now. Now. He may know her feelings for him now, but she wasn't about to let anyone use those feelings against her, not yet.
He heard her craft. And he loved Tifa too much to betray her by lying to her.
"Yes. I considered it once. I mean, I looked at her and I thought she was beautiful, and I thought she was attractive. But I knew I wouldn't actually love her. Even if you had never existed, even then.. she isn't really.. well, my type of girl. I just figure, thank God you exist." And his sincere eyes promised her something so real she forgot to breathe.
"Thank you." she whispered. Thank you for making these years worth it. Thank you for being everything I dreamt you to be and more. Thank you for loving me too.
He hugged her closer, thrilled at the thought he could hug her and hold her and keep her and feel her and.. the thought of loving Aeris seemed even more ludicrous than it had before.
*
When he opened his eyes again, he was struck by blinding light. He felt suddenly swollen and shocked. His unconsciousness wanted to bury itself into her again, wanted to caress her.. where was she? He felt cold. He wanted to go back to the dark, he wanted to sleep again. He didn't want to wake up like this.. he found himself wondering briefly if this is what it felt like for a child being born. Chaos had ensued. He jerked to life when somebody poked him roughly, he coughed up numbingly cold liquid, coughed up so much of it he became nauseous and retched. There was nothing to vomit out, though. Voices hummed around him, if he hadn't felt so weak he would have raised his eyes and lifted his arms to chase away what he was sure were bees. Where was she?
Smack. Ow. Damnit, that stung. Who hit him?
"Hello? Cloud? Cloud, come on, wake up!" Came a voice to match big rough hands shaking his shoulders. He wondered if he was supposed to know who's voice it was. He wondered if his own name might be Cloud.
Eyes opened and closed again immediately, refusing to get used to the harsh light. He imagined himself in the SOLDIER showers, early in the morning, trying to keep his eyes open so he could take his three-minute shower and be gone in time to get to training and not be late. He remembered how he had such a hard time staying awake if there wasn't any coffee or soda; he never was a morning person. Now he winced at the thought of drinking soda for breakfast at five-thirty in the morning.
"Cloud, Cloud, where's Tifa? She was with you, where is she? I can't find her.. damnit, Cloud, wake up, we have to find her! Cloud, Tifa's gone!"
That did the trick.
He veered up, forcing his aching eyes open. Tifa! He looked over to where the shrill voice had come from.. Yuffie stared at him, eyes suspiciously red.
"Well, finally!" she snapped, and sprinted off. Cloud turned and came face to face with Barret, whose eyes were narrow, his bushy eyebrows drawn tight. "Good to see you're still alive. But she's missing -we only fished you out of the Lifestream."
Cloud's mouth opened to speak, but nothing came out. He wanted to run, to dive back in and find her. He rose from where he was lying, but his legs wouldn't co-operate. He sank to the floor after two steps. He shook his head to clear it. Barret helped him up wordlessly.
Tifa.