Yuffie let out a scream and pointed.
Sensing more than seeing, Cloud took a deliberate step into the Lifestream. His head was pounding and his vision still blurred. It was shallow here, only ankle-deep. It became knee-deep, and waist-deep, before he had reached the girl, floating inanimate in the green substance. Her skin was alabaster and bloodless, even her lips were drained of all color. They were parted slightly, as if she were only sleeping. Her eyelashes clotted together, wet black rims beneath her closed eyes.
If Tifa was dead, he would kill Sephiroth and then himself.
He felt a sudden pang, remembering Aeris and how they had buried her. He pulled Tifa up out of the Lifestream and cradled her in his arms. This seemed the exact opposite of Aeris' death.
Cloud waded quickly to the shore, the precious, priceless burden far too limp in his arms. Laying her down in the grass, ready to collapse there beside her and sob his soul out, he knelt, pleading to hear breath escaping her lips, but there was none.
He cupped her chin, closed her nostrils and said a prayer to any deity of any religion who would listen that this girl would come back to him.
He pushed his breath into her urgently. There was no 'romantic tension,' there was no desire in the touching of their lips this time. This time? What about.. and what if she's dead? Again and again, he gave her breath, and each breath with less hope. He felt her hands briefly and they were freezing cold.
Just when his heart had plummeted into his stomach, Tifa began to shake uncontrollably. She coughed up Lifestream, breaths choked and desperate. She frantically waved a hand in the air and tried to sit up. He had a hand at the small of her back, his eyes wide, and his heart pounding so fast he thought he might faint. Tears streamed down her cheeks and her eyes were swollen and bright red. Her mouth was half-open as she slowly regained her breath. He couldn't recall a happier sight in his whole life.
"God, I feel like shit," she hiccupped, and leaned into him heavily. "Join the club." he murmured. He ran his hand up from her back to the nape of her neck, curling his fingers through her hair joyously. He couldn't help grinning as he lifted her from the damp ground. Her arms automatically looped around his neck. He could tell she was still entirely in shock.
"I can walk.. I can walk.." she murmured, fear and nervosity crossing her face.
"No, you can't, no.. you can't.." he opposed her softly, careful where he walked. As he carried her, she shuddered and drew closer to him. His eyes closed a moment. She's alright, she's fine, she's alive, we both are.
Yuffie was so joyous she rapidly became hyperactive and started asking questions to the both of them. Here was where Cloud discovered there was something quite literal about 'in one ear, out the other'. It was happening to him right now as they trudged back to the Airship. Every question Yuffie asked, he heard and understood, and yet, every question she asked him, he forgot no sooner than one second later.
He felt his breathing slow a little in gratefulness. He wanted to pull her up, near to his face, and kiss her, but didn't -it felt unnatural. He didn't know why. Just.. he couldn't for some reason. What was this feeling?
He felt the shock hitting his own body now. Incredible exhaustion came over him.. he felt as if he were going to collapse right there, and Tifa's sleeping form was probably all that was keeping him from toppling to the ground right now.
After a nervous demand on Nanaki's grandfather to get Tifa up to the deck of the Airship by using the same magic Bugenhagen used to keep himself floating, during which Cloud stood beneath Tifa's floating form, alternately throwing scowls to Bugenhagen and then lifting tired eyes up to the love of his life, ready to catch her as she drifted up casually, he finally could put her down on her bed. She inhaled deeply and ran a hand along her face. He watched her for a moment. Then he turned to the small gathering at the door to the collective bedroom.
"I guess we need to talk," he said softly, and stood up, casting a last glance at Tifa and then walking over to the others.
*
Tifa had awoken a few hours ago, and Cloud hadn't been able to shake the feeling of foreboding ever since. She hadn't met his eyes for longer than a fraction of a second since she had woken up. She had given him one smile, one whisper of a smile, her eyes not even lighting up. Something was wrong.
He had let her sleep, and had talked to Avalanche in the meantime. He had told them, basically, where it was at, how his past wasn't his past, and what was his past, really too sad or incredible to accept. He apologized to them, and they pledged their allegiances to him again. He was surprised, to say the least, because he hadn't really dared expect their faith back, not after all the wrongs he had done them. But they had met each other's eyes, and they had shaken their heads knowingly, and they had welcomed him back with open arms. And it was about damnwell time that he realized he was a mighty fine leader without having been a Soldier, and without having been perfect. He was a misfit, like every human was. So he had thanked them, frankly overjoyed, and had decided to see if Tifa was awake already, to thank her too. In the end, she had been the one to show him his path.. even if it felt so long ago, just this afternoon in the Lifestream. Yuffie came with him. He smiled inwardly at the sisterly protectiveness that she seemed to be showing toward Tifa.
They walked quietly into the bedroom, peered into the mountain of pillows and blankets and quilts that was Tifa. She lazily opened an eye at them. Cloud grinned, Yuffie squealed. "Nice to see you again too, Yuff." Tifa said. What about me? Cloud thought.
"Yuffie.." Tifa murmured, still half-asleep, "how.. how long was I gone..? What did I.. miss?"
Cloud felt an aching expand in his insides. What.. what about me?
Yuffie smiled. "Only five hours. That's all. Maybe five and a half. That's all."
Cloud froze where he was sitting.
Five and a half..? How can that be possible? It had felt like days, at least.. maybe even weeks, in the Lifestream. Not.. not five, five and a half hours.
"The Weapon's attack on Mideel, it wasn't too long ago, then..?" he murmured offhandedly.
Now Yuffie hesitated. "How do you know about that? You were a vegetable when Weapon hit. Did Barret tell you?" she demanded.
Cloud shook his head. Rashly, he replied "No, I-" he paused. Then- "I guess so."
No, Tifa told me. Is what he wanted to say. But the blank look in Tifa's eyes was screaming at him to speak of nothing. If it was screaming anything at all.
He wondered why she hadn't shown any sign of what had happened between them in the Lifestream. If anything, she seemed more distant.
Yuffie left at one point, called away by Vincent. Cloud and Tifa stayed behind, somehow uncomfortable. He wondered to himself why, how that was even possible. What was wrong? Maybe you're just making a big deal out of it. She might be in shock still, from the Lifestream. She was immersed in it for a long time. But he knew that he couldn't convince himself of that.. had he not been in the Lifestream for at least as long as she had? Not to mention he had apparently had one hell of a Mako-poisoning over his sorry ass before they even fell in.. no, if the Lifestream caused such a long after-effect, he should have been feeling it too. Maybe you are, he reasoned. But then, why could he recall everything so well from down there, while she.. he gave up for now. He had just gotten rid of his last headache an hour ago, no need to get started on the next one.
"Cloud.." Tifa murmured after a few moments' silence. "It's good to see you've woken up out of your poisoning again." And she stretched her slender legs over the covers.
"Huh?" Woken up? You're saying that to me?
"Yeah.. you were missing for the longest time, you know.. after you gave Sephiroth the Black Materia..We found you here a week ago, drenched in Mako. They didn't know if you'd ever wake up again."
Cloud stared.
She blinked at him and stretched the rest of her trained form.
Cloud stared.
"Cloud, it's okay.. all that matters is that you're back, and able to fight Sephiroth, and I survived my dip in the Lifestream.. oh, wait.. you fell in too, didn't you?"
Cloud's mouth opened slowly. He shook his head and left the room.
"Cloud?"
He stormed down the stairs and out onto the deck of the Airship, breathing heavily. Then he leapt off of the deck to the ground, thirty feet below, landing perfectly on his feet. She doesn't remember, she doesn't remember, was all he could think. He ran through the forest, running to get the dissaray out of his thoughts, running to get the chaos out of his head. Halfway a mile away from the Airship, a thought hurled itself at him. What if I only dreamt it all..? and it came as such a shock that he tripped over the thick roots of a tree and rolled, and rolled back onto his feet. A dream, a dream.. he couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe this was happening.