Disclaimer: So Weird is Disney's, and so forth.
A/n: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE MUST GO TO IMDB RIGHT NOW, AND LOOK UP ERIC LIVELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOOK AT HIS MINI BIOGRAPHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S MORE FAMOUS THAN I'D EVER THOUGHT-- Very insightful, too. As if I didn't already know that from those Disney commercials. But other than that-- he sounds like a cool guy. And-- you'll never believe this-- IMDB EVEN LISTS BRAINSTORM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Eric was uncredited in that movie, though, wasn't he? Odd. And his middle name is Lawrence. ::Dances around like a chimpanzee:: And Patrick Levis' middle name is CANNON!!! He played Donny Osmond! LOOK UP THE WHOLE CAST, IMDB ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A/n: Also, in response to Tablynvan's suggestions, I present to you CHAPTER 3! What is it's name? I don't know; I'll know as soon as I upload this stupid thing.. And yes, btw, I know and love Hugo. You people make Annie so darn scared of him, it's hilarious! And I'm also aware of the fig leaf. But Clu is in a falling truck, so... AHA! This chapter shall take place in the truck. Poor little falling people. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA. btw, Spanish sentence glossary is at the bottom of this fic.
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Unaffected by the disaster going on around him, Clu sat at Fi's desk, punching vigorously at Fi's laptop, eyes fixated on the screen.
"You know, that really isn't healthy for you," Jack stated. Clu blushed and adjusted his fig leaf.
"Sorry."
Jack blinked. Then he cringed. "I meant the computer."
Clu giggled. "Did you know that Erik Von Detten played Sid, the evil child, in Toy Story?"
Jack batted his hands furiously at the screen. "No," he groaned, "no more Movie Database... "
"WELL, the fanfic author is bored to tears, so... What did you expect? She needs some-" he gasped- "CHICKEN AND PANTS SPANISH SENTENCES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He jumped around. Then he blushed, looking down, and sat again.
"Hay un gordo pollo en mis pantalones," Clu informed.
"Is there, now?" Jack acknowledged him politely. Then he grimaced. "Wait a minute-- you're not WEARING any pants!!! That was a trick."
"Hee hee hee," Clu jeered jovially. "Okay, here's another one--- 'Me disgusta comer el pollo, pero me encanta comer mis pantalones!!!!!!" He burst out laughing.
"You like to eat your pants?" Jack stared at him blankly, void of interest.
Clu shook his head, beaming. "I love to eat my pants."
Jack sighed. "I do not like this game. I want to go to 7Eleven and buy me some Peach Fuzz. Want to come?"
There was a long silence, as Clu pondered this. Then he began to giggle.
"Eventually, Jack, but not here-- I'm NOT that kind of man!"
Jack cursed out those darn slash authors (bless 'em all) who had instilled rather riske notions in his best friend's mind, and left the tour bus.
He walked out, unaware of the bus' position, to find himself dangling over the river, his wrist having caught in a cord knot. He swallowed repeatedly, trying to call Clu.
"CLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU," he yelled. "I'M TIED TO A ROPE DANGLING OVER A RIVER AGAIN, WITH NO WAY DOWN BUT TO FALL TO MY DEATH...... CLU, AREN'T YOU LISTENING??????"
"I don't care WHAT you're tied to," Clu yelled back obstinately. "I am NOT helping you! Especially in my fig leaf, thank you very much."
"CLU, I'M FALLING, YOU STUPID MORON!!!!!"
"GORDO POLLO!"
"INSIPID FOOL! YOU ARE SO STUPID, YOU DON'T EVEN WEAR PANTS!!!!!"
Clu's eyes narrowed, taking pride in his opposition towards pants.
"NO SOY EN PANTALONES, PERO SOY EN LA ENSALADA!!!"
"IDIOT! YOU DON'T PUT FIG LEAVES IN A SALAD!!!!!"
"YEAH.... WELL..... " Clu brainstormed for a Spanish insult to retort. Jack thought he was so cool, just because he knew the purpose of a fig leaf, and the purpose of pants... Not that Clu didn't know their purpose either. He knew that nobody really ate them. Hopefully.
"HAY DOS GORDO JAMONES EN TU PANTALONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed.
"I AM NOT FAT!!!!!!" Jack was fuming and hyperventilating, shaking in midair like a hooked salmon.
"Please.. Just.. I'm scared of drowning.. And I'm scared of golfballs and telephones ever since that scary old neighbor who never fixed that window... "
Finally, Clu began to pity him, and, stealing a pair of his pants, hoisted him onto the land.
"The fan fic author isn't a hopeless romantic," Jack gasped, "because she's a tupy little twelve year old. Too naive to be writing slash affairs, right?"
Maria-author leapt down from the sky and started choking Jack.
"I'LL DO WHATEVER ME PLEASES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And with that, Maria condensed into a little glowing ball, which hit Jack lightly on the head. She was a spirit now, like Briciriu. Jack was now posessed by a mentally unstable fan fiction writer, whose blatant madness slowly devoured his senses -- stimulated by good old-fashioned mind control.
"Jack.... Jack, is that you?"
Jack danced around happily. " 'Tis too late for old munny-mun," he laughed. Then he grinned. "She's getting stupider by the minute!"
Clu scratched behind his ear. "Uh, yah, that's just marvelous, but, uh.... "
All of a sudden, Jack stood rigid, eyes frozen and dormant.
"INCOMING MESSAGE FROM THE MASTER," he gargled in a demonic voice. "FI IS IN LOVE WITH A GORDY."
In a whirlwind of pink smoke, Jack regained control of his nerves. He flexed his arms. It was good to be home.
"So... " Clu brooded thoughtfully, "what is a Gordy?"
Then Hugo fell out of the sky, sprawled out on the ground, and went to sleep. Goodnight, everyone, Maria shall sleep as well!
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A/n: PLEASE REVIEW THIS! I kind of rushed through this chapter, and it's late, so I can't think straight.. I know; I inserted myself in the fic. Mun instinct. Dun' ask.
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Spanish Sentences:
Hay un gordo pollo en mi pantalones = there is one fat chicken in my pants
Me disgusta comer el pollo, pero me encanta comer mi pantalones = I hate eating the chicken, but I love eating my pants.
NO SOY EN PANTALONES, PERO SOY EN LA ENSALADA = I'm not in pants, but I am in the salad!
HAY DOS GORDO JAMONES EN TU PANTALONES = There are 2 fat hams in your pants
A/n: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE MUST GO TO IMDB RIGHT NOW, AND LOOK UP ERIC LIVELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOOK AT HIS MINI BIOGRAPHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S MORE FAMOUS THAN I'D EVER THOUGHT-- Very insightful, too. As if I didn't already know that from those Disney commercials. But other than that-- he sounds like a cool guy. And-- you'll never believe this-- IMDB EVEN LISTS BRAINSTORM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Eric was uncredited in that movie, though, wasn't he? Odd. And his middle name is Lawrence. ::Dances around like a chimpanzee:: And Patrick Levis' middle name is CANNON!!! He played Donny Osmond! LOOK UP THE WHOLE CAST, IMDB ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A/n: Also, in response to Tablynvan's suggestions, I present to you CHAPTER 3! What is it's name? I don't know; I'll know as soon as I upload this stupid thing.. And yes, btw, I know and love Hugo. You people make Annie so darn scared of him, it's hilarious! And I'm also aware of the fig leaf. But Clu is in a falling truck, so... AHA! This chapter shall take place in the truck. Poor little falling people. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA. btw, Spanish sentence glossary is at the bottom of this fic.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unaffected by the disaster going on around him, Clu sat at Fi's desk, punching vigorously at Fi's laptop, eyes fixated on the screen.
"You know, that really isn't healthy for you," Jack stated. Clu blushed and adjusted his fig leaf.
"Sorry."
Jack blinked. Then he cringed. "I meant the computer."
Clu giggled. "Did you know that Erik Von Detten played Sid, the evil child, in Toy Story?"
Jack batted his hands furiously at the screen. "No," he groaned, "no more Movie Database... "
"WELL, the fanfic author is bored to tears, so... What did you expect? She needs some-" he gasped- "CHICKEN AND PANTS SPANISH SENTENCES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He jumped around. Then he blushed, looking down, and sat again.
"Hay un gordo pollo en mis pantalones," Clu informed.
"Is there, now?" Jack acknowledged him politely. Then he grimaced. "Wait a minute-- you're not WEARING any pants!!! That was a trick."
"Hee hee hee," Clu jeered jovially. "Okay, here's another one--- 'Me disgusta comer el pollo, pero me encanta comer mis pantalones!!!!!!" He burst out laughing.
"You like to eat your pants?" Jack stared at him blankly, void of interest.
Clu shook his head, beaming. "I love to eat my pants."
Jack sighed. "I do not like this game. I want to go to 7Eleven and buy me some Peach Fuzz. Want to come?"
There was a long silence, as Clu pondered this. Then he began to giggle.
"Eventually, Jack, but not here-- I'm NOT that kind of man!"
Jack cursed out those darn slash authors (bless 'em all) who had instilled rather riske notions in his best friend's mind, and left the tour bus.
He walked out, unaware of the bus' position, to find himself dangling over the river, his wrist having caught in a cord knot. He swallowed repeatedly, trying to call Clu.
"CLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU," he yelled. "I'M TIED TO A ROPE DANGLING OVER A RIVER AGAIN, WITH NO WAY DOWN BUT TO FALL TO MY DEATH...... CLU, AREN'T YOU LISTENING??????"
"I don't care WHAT you're tied to," Clu yelled back obstinately. "I am NOT helping you! Especially in my fig leaf, thank you very much."
"CLU, I'M FALLING, YOU STUPID MORON!!!!!"
"GORDO POLLO!"
"INSIPID FOOL! YOU ARE SO STUPID, YOU DON'T EVEN WEAR PANTS!!!!!"
Clu's eyes narrowed, taking pride in his opposition towards pants.
"NO SOY EN PANTALONES, PERO SOY EN LA ENSALADA!!!"
"IDIOT! YOU DON'T PUT FIG LEAVES IN A SALAD!!!!!"
"YEAH.... WELL..... " Clu brainstormed for a Spanish insult to retort. Jack thought he was so cool, just because he knew the purpose of a fig leaf, and the purpose of pants... Not that Clu didn't know their purpose either. He knew that nobody really ate them. Hopefully.
"HAY DOS GORDO JAMONES EN TU PANTALONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed.
"I AM NOT FAT!!!!!!" Jack was fuming and hyperventilating, shaking in midair like a hooked salmon.
"Please.. Just.. I'm scared of drowning.. And I'm scared of golfballs and telephones ever since that scary old neighbor who never fixed that window... "
Finally, Clu began to pity him, and, stealing a pair of his pants, hoisted him onto the land.
"The fan fic author isn't a hopeless romantic," Jack gasped, "because she's a tupy little twelve year old. Too naive to be writing slash affairs, right?"
Maria-author leapt down from the sky and started choking Jack.
"I'LL DO WHATEVER ME PLEASES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And with that, Maria condensed into a little glowing ball, which hit Jack lightly on the head. She was a spirit now, like Briciriu. Jack was now posessed by a mentally unstable fan fiction writer, whose blatant madness slowly devoured his senses -- stimulated by good old-fashioned mind control.
"Jack.... Jack, is that you?"
Jack danced around happily. " 'Tis too late for old munny-mun," he laughed. Then he grinned. "She's getting stupider by the minute!"
Clu scratched behind his ear. "Uh, yah, that's just marvelous, but, uh.... "
All of a sudden, Jack stood rigid, eyes frozen and dormant.
"INCOMING MESSAGE FROM THE MASTER," he gargled in a demonic voice. "FI IS IN LOVE WITH A GORDY."
In a whirlwind of pink smoke, Jack regained control of his nerves. He flexed his arms. It was good to be home.
"So... " Clu brooded thoughtfully, "what is a Gordy?"
Then Hugo fell out of the sky, sprawled out on the ground, and went to sleep. Goodnight, everyone, Maria shall sleep as well!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/n: PLEASE REVIEW THIS! I kind of rushed through this chapter, and it's late, so I can't think straight.. I know; I inserted myself in the fic. Mun instinct. Dun' ask.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spanish Sentences:
Hay un gordo pollo en mi pantalones = there is one fat chicken in my pants
Me disgusta comer el pollo, pero me encanta comer mi pantalones = I hate eating the chicken, but I love eating my pants.
NO SOY EN PANTALONES, PERO SOY EN LA ENSALADA = I'm not in pants, but I am in the salad!
HAY DOS GORDO JAMONES EN TU PANTALONES = There are 2 fat hams in your pants