Chapter 5
Two days after Harry rejoined the students he decided that it was time for the pranksters to go to work, the school needed some laughs. They began to plan in secret, hours spent working on their brilliant scheme #144.
The next morning at breakfast Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ira put their Slytherin & Snape humiliation plan into action. About halfway through breakfast the wall at the back of the great hall began to change into a curtain, which lifted up to reveal a TV like screen. Soon words appeared.
1 The following is a production of
The Mischievous Marauders: Makers of Magical Mayhem Inc. (M&M&M&M&M Inc.)
The Marauders of Hogwarts are proud to present
1.1 A Slytherin Pajama Party
Next came a view of the Slytherin common room, slowly Slytherins in pajamas gathered in it. Everyone was wearing the craziest, stupidest, ugliest, most absurd pajamas ever. (For example: lime green with pink and orange polka- dots and a jesters cap. A gigantic pink dress with tons of black frills and a hat with pink rabbits ears and pink rabbit slippers with black bows on the toe tips. Pansy in a Big Bird costume with chains dragging from his feet and long red and green striped slacks and a huge pointed hat with tulips sprouting from the top. Malfoy in a yellow ducky outfit with a foot ball helmet, and baby blue slippers with yellow stars on them carrying a brown teddy with its eyes ripped out. You get the picture?) The party began, circus music came on, Pansy tried juggling pickled frogs, Malfoy was attempting to do fourteen hula-hoops, Carbbe and Goyle dressed up as horses and banged about on hands and knees while Zimbini and Millicent stood on their backs and acted like trick riders. A large group in shiny purple silk pajamas with beach balls, sandcastles, and little pinkish Barney's on them formed a human pyramid. A whole bunch of Slytherins in stupid drag costumes were dancing on the furniture, another group in fluffy furry Furby pajamas with clown feet and sombreros acted like dominos, fall down one way, stand up, line up, fall down the other way. The laughter in the hall nearly shook the castle down. The baton twirlers were all in butterfly costumes with huge blue fake mustaches, blue rabbit ears and pale green leotards, their purple and yellow batons twirled about, occasionally knocking the twirler and the people on either side over the head leaving gigantic purple lumps. Everyone was cracking up now, Harry, Ron, Ira, and Hermione were slapping eachother on the back. The party seemed to end, then a long yellow carpet appeared, floating two feet in the air and leading out the door. The Slytherins stared, then got these big dopey grins and music started, they began to sing. "Follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road, follow-follow, follow, follow the yellow brick road. The skipped off along the carpet still singing joyfully. The scene changed to just outside the castle, they were all still prancing and twirling along the carpet towards the end, which ended right over the lake. "Follow, follow, follow, (they start dancing off the edge of the carpet and falling into the lake) follow the yellow brick road, we're off to see the lake, the bottom of the laaaaaaaa (last in line Malfoy jumps off the end) aaaaaaake!" Very loud splash. The screen went dark. The students were laughing so hard they cried. People were getting the hiccups and choking on laughter, it was just too funny. The four gave eachother high fives, they were overjoyed with their success.
"Come on, it's time for Defense." Hermione said, realizing what time it was. The students were just starting to leave the hall, the four of them hurried away, eager to see if Figg was a good teacher.
They reached the Defense room first and hurried in, Prof. Figg was behind a long desk at the front, twiddling her wand. Remus was sitting on one end of the desk, flipping through a book.
"Hello, first here, you like defense that much huh?" Remus said, grinning at them.
"Or did you just want to get away before anyone realized who it was that put out that thing at breakfast?" Professor Figg asked, grinning widely at their astonishment. "I was an Honorary Marauder, and it wasn't to hard to guess who would do that, the Slytherins were always James and Sirius's favorite target." She added, smiling at Harry, the four took seats in the front of the room, two Marauders for defense teachers, this was going to be a good year.
"Hello I am Professor Figg and this is Professor Lupin who you know. We'll be jointly teaching this class, professor Lupin will do dark creatures and jinxes, I'll do hexes, curses, and other forms of self defense. This year we'll start you off with the disintegration curse. This curse, once it hits, slowly disintegrates your opponent, a very nasty curse, almost as bad as the Cruciatus curse as far as pain goes. The incantation for it is "Sharhac". Before this curse is preformed the users wand will glow orange for a few seconds, that's all the warning you'll have. The way to escape it is to duck, use the disintegration curse yourself to counter it, or perform the advanced shield spell and hope it works, it doesn't always hold. This curse is considered a dark curse, one of Voldemort's favorites besides the Unforgivables." She waited while the class finished taking notes on what she'd just said, Harry wrote down very little, he knew all about this curse already.
"Now we can't, for obvious reasons, practice this curse on eachother. Instead we'll be doing imitations of it. You'll be called up two by two to practice dodging and recognizing the signs of this curse about to be used." She started off with Harry and Hermione.
"Now both of you stand here, I'm going to be shooting light at you, and you have to know when to dodge. I'll shoot at either one of you randomly." She began by shooting beams of light at them, the light didn't hurt and neither moved when they were hit. Then Harry saw her wand flicker, instinctively he dodged, the second one got Hermione who hadn't moved.
"Well done Harry, you know how to deal with this curse huh?" Harry nodded, Hermione was kept up there and Tanya was called to be the other person, Harry went back to his seat. They spent the entire class working on this, dealing with the disintegration curse.
"That wasn't so bad, but it's hard to tell when it's going to be used." Ira commented as they left defense for Care of Magical Creatures.
Outside Professor Fletcher was waiting near the picnic tables that were the CoMC class room. Everyone sat down, this class was Gryffindors and Slytherins again.
"Okay, now to start off the year we'll be studying War Unicorns. Leave your things here, you won't need them yet, and follow me." He led them towards the forest, on the edge of the forest he stopped and waited for everyone to catch up. Harry scanned the trees, picking out the form of the unicorn in seconds. "Now everyone the War unicorn I'm about to show you is still rather young and hasn't had much contact with humans outside the Order of the Phoenix. Lightning, please come out." The unicorn emerged, mane sparkling in the sun. The were ohs and ahs form the students, except the Slytherins. "War unicorns don't like to be petted at all, so please don't." Professor Fletcher led them all back to the tables, the unicorn following them at a safe distance. Once back he began giving a lecture on War Unicorns, which Harry basically ignored. He then called them up, one by one, to meet Lightning. When Harry was called he walked up confidently and petted Lightning on the shoulder. Hello again Lightning, nice to see you. Lightning swished his tail lightly and replied. Surprise Harry! When they needed a volunteer I offered to come. The unicorn leaned into his petting and closed his eyes happily. Had he been a cat he would have purred. Harry, these people aren't so bad, but I get a strong sense of disrespect and cruelty from the…um I think you call them Slytherins? Harry sighed, just what he'd expected from them. Don't mind them, unless they hurt or annoy you, then feel free to kick them, just not to hard okay? They're just ignorant students. He got an agreement from Lightning, them professor Fletcher spoke again. "Well Harry since he seems to like you how about you try to ride him?" He'd barely finished before Harry was on Lightning's back in one leap, the unicorn turned his head back for a nose rub, Harry obliged and then they took off. You are not so heavy, this is fun. Harry smiled and leaned forward, wind whipping about them as they sped up, faster and faster, making his eyes water. War Unicorns could reach speeds of almost 180 –220 miles an hour at an all out run. They turned gracefully, both leaning into the turn as one and ran back. The came in from the side, before them was an empty table. Harry leaned down lower and urged Lightning on, the War Unicorn gather himself and sprang, they sailed over the table, and the next one, to land on the other side and run on. At the same time they both wheeled about in perfect form and trotted back to the awed class. There were cheers as Harry hopped off Lightning, the war unicorn wasn't even breathing hard, unicorns could run for days on end with very little rest, that had been no more the a six yard run would have been for Harry.
"Well done Harry! Now, do you think you could convince him to let everyone else have a short try?" Harry turned back to his friend, Is that alright with you Lightning? They waited while the unicorn considered it. Yes, but if they hurt me I'll burn them. Harry nodded and turned back to Mundungus.
"He will, but if they hurt him he might burn them, I don't know." He said, not wanting anyone to know about his ability to speak with Lightning The students lined up and one by one got a short ride on Lightning, who seemed to be enjoying himself.
Two days after Harry rejoined the students he decided that it was time for the pranksters to go to work, the school needed some laughs. They began to plan in secret, hours spent working on their brilliant scheme #144.
The next morning at breakfast Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ira put their Slytherin & Snape humiliation plan into action. About halfway through breakfast the wall at the back of the great hall began to change into a curtain, which lifted up to reveal a TV like screen. Soon words appeared.
1 The following is a production of
The Mischievous Marauders: Makers of Magical Mayhem Inc. (M&M&M&M&M Inc.)
The Marauders of Hogwarts are proud to present
1.1 A Slytherin Pajama Party
Next came a view of the Slytherin common room, slowly Slytherins in pajamas gathered in it. Everyone was wearing the craziest, stupidest, ugliest, most absurd pajamas ever. (For example: lime green with pink and orange polka- dots and a jesters cap. A gigantic pink dress with tons of black frills and a hat with pink rabbits ears and pink rabbit slippers with black bows on the toe tips. Pansy in a Big Bird costume with chains dragging from his feet and long red and green striped slacks and a huge pointed hat with tulips sprouting from the top. Malfoy in a yellow ducky outfit with a foot ball helmet, and baby blue slippers with yellow stars on them carrying a brown teddy with its eyes ripped out. You get the picture?) The party began, circus music came on, Pansy tried juggling pickled frogs, Malfoy was attempting to do fourteen hula-hoops, Carbbe and Goyle dressed up as horses and banged about on hands and knees while Zimbini and Millicent stood on their backs and acted like trick riders. A large group in shiny purple silk pajamas with beach balls, sandcastles, and little pinkish Barney's on them formed a human pyramid. A whole bunch of Slytherins in stupid drag costumes were dancing on the furniture, another group in fluffy furry Furby pajamas with clown feet and sombreros acted like dominos, fall down one way, stand up, line up, fall down the other way. The laughter in the hall nearly shook the castle down. The baton twirlers were all in butterfly costumes with huge blue fake mustaches, blue rabbit ears and pale green leotards, their purple and yellow batons twirled about, occasionally knocking the twirler and the people on either side over the head leaving gigantic purple lumps. Everyone was cracking up now, Harry, Ron, Ira, and Hermione were slapping eachother on the back. The party seemed to end, then a long yellow carpet appeared, floating two feet in the air and leading out the door. The Slytherins stared, then got these big dopey grins and music started, they began to sing. "Follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road, follow-follow, follow, follow the yellow brick road. The skipped off along the carpet still singing joyfully. The scene changed to just outside the castle, they were all still prancing and twirling along the carpet towards the end, which ended right over the lake. "Follow, follow, follow, (they start dancing off the edge of the carpet and falling into the lake) follow the yellow brick road, we're off to see the lake, the bottom of the laaaaaaaa (last in line Malfoy jumps off the end) aaaaaaake!" Very loud splash. The screen went dark. The students were laughing so hard they cried. People were getting the hiccups and choking on laughter, it was just too funny. The four gave eachother high fives, they were overjoyed with their success.
"Come on, it's time for Defense." Hermione said, realizing what time it was. The students were just starting to leave the hall, the four of them hurried away, eager to see if Figg was a good teacher.
They reached the Defense room first and hurried in, Prof. Figg was behind a long desk at the front, twiddling her wand. Remus was sitting on one end of the desk, flipping through a book.
"Hello, first here, you like defense that much huh?" Remus said, grinning at them.
"Or did you just want to get away before anyone realized who it was that put out that thing at breakfast?" Professor Figg asked, grinning widely at their astonishment. "I was an Honorary Marauder, and it wasn't to hard to guess who would do that, the Slytherins were always James and Sirius's favorite target." She added, smiling at Harry, the four took seats in the front of the room, two Marauders for defense teachers, this was going to be a good year.
"Hello I am Professor Figg and this is Professor Lupin who you know. We'll be jointly teaching this class, professor Lupin will do dark creatures and jinxes, I'll do hexes, curses, and other forms of self defense. This year we'll start you off with the disintegration curse. This curse, once it hits, slowly disintegrates your opponent, a very nasty curse, almost as bad as the Cruciatus curse as far as pain goes. The incantation for it is "Sharhac". Before this curse is preformed the users wand will glow orange for a few seconds, that's all the warning you'll have. The way to escape it is to duck, use the disintegration curse yourself to counter it, or perform the advanced shield spell and hope it works, it doesn't always hold. This curse is considered a dark curse, one of Voldemort's favorites besides the Unforgivables." She waited while the class finished taking notes on what she'd just said, Harry wrote down very little, he knew all about this curse already.
"Now we can't, for obvious reasons, practice this curse on eachother. Instead we'll be doing imitations of it. You'll be called up two by two to practice dodging and recognizing the signs of this curse about to be used." She started off with Harry and Hermione.
"Now both of you stand here, I'm going to be shooting light at you, and you have to know when to dodge. I'll shoot at either one of you randomly." She began by shooting beams of light at them, the light didn't hurt and neither moved when they were hit. Then Harry saw her wand flicker, instinctively he dodged, the second one got Hermione who hadn't moved.
"Well done Harry, you know how to deal with this curse huh?" Harry nodded, Hermione was kept up there and Tanya was called to be the other person, Harry went back to his seat. They spent the entire class working on this, dealing with the disintegration curse.
"That wasn't so bad, but it's hard to tell when it's going to be used." Ira commented as they left defense for Care of Magical Creatures.
Outside Professor Fletcher was waiting near the picnic tables that were the CoMC class room. Everyone sat down, this class was Gryffindors and Slytherins again.
"Okay, now to start off the year we'll be studying War Unicorns. Leave your things here, you won't need them yet, and follow me." He led them towards the forest, on the edge of the forest he stopped and waited for everyone to catch up. Harry scanned the trees, picking out the form of the unicorn in seconds. "Now everyone the War unicorn I'm about to show you is still rather young and hasn't had much contact with humans outside the Order of the Phoenix. Lightning, please come out." The unicorn emerged, mane sparkling in the sun. The were ohs and ahs form the students, except the Slytherins. "War unicorns don't like to be petted at all, so please don't." Professor Fletcher led them all back to the tables, the unicorn following them at a safe distance. Once back he began giving a lecture on War Unicorns, which Harry basically ignored. He then called them up, one by one, to meet Lightning. When Harry was called he walked up confidently and petted Lightning on the shoulder. Hello again Lightning, nice to see you. Lightning swished his tail lightly and replied. Surprise Harry! When they needed a volunteer I offered to come. The unicorn leaned into his petting and closed his eyes happily. Had he been a cat he would have purred. Harry, these people aren't so bad, but I get a strong sense of disrespect and cruelty from the…um I think you call them Slytherins? Harry sighed, just what he'd expected from them. Don't mind them, unless they hurt or annoy you, then feel free to kick them, just not to hard okay? They're just ignorant students. He got an agreement from Lightning, them professor Fletcher spoke again. "Well Harry since he seems to like you how about you try to ride him?" He'd barely finished before Harry was on Lightning's back in one leap, the unicorn turned his head back for a nose rub, Harry obliged and then they took off. You are not so heavy, this is fun. Harry smiled and leaned forward, wind whipping about them as they sped up, faster and faster, making his eyes water. War Unicorns could reach speeds of almost 180 –220 miles an hour at an all out run. They turned gracefully, both leaning into the turn as one and ran back. The came in from the side, before them was an empty table. Harry leaned down lower and urged Lightning on, the War Unicorn gather himself and sprang, they sailed over the table, and the next one, to land on the other side and run on. At the same time they both wheeled about in perfect form and trotted back to the awed class. There were cheers as Harry hopped off Lightning, the war unicorn wasn't even breathing hard, unicorns could run for days on end with very little rest, that had been no more the a six yard run would have been for Harry.
"Well done Harry! Now, do you think you could convince him to let everyone else have a short try?" Harry turned back to his friend, Is that alright with you Lightning? They waited while the unicorn considered it. Yes, but if they hurt me I'll burn them. Harry nodded and turned back to Mundungus.
"He will, but if they hurt him he might burn them, I don't know." He said, not wanting anyone to know about his ability to speak with Lightning The students lined up and one by one got a short ride on Lightning, who seemed to be enjoying himself.