Of Redshirts and Redwall
Chapter 4
Last time on Of Redshirts and Redwall, Picard and the away team had made it to Redwall, only to find that the woodlanders had a grudge against 'vermin'. Also, Salamandastron was preparing to evacuate, as the Borg were coming. Will Redwall accept the away team? Will the Borg take Salamandastron? Will I stop asking you? Find out in Of Redshirts and Redwall!
*Locutus, Locutus I know you can here me! I have taken a new equal, better than you or Data. Our new Collective can hold many more Borg than my cube. Locutus, resistance is futile!*
Picard woke with a start, his momentum carrying out of the small dormitory bed. His nightshirt was drenched in sweat, and his paws were shaking. Suddenly the flesh of his face seemed to crawl, then a sharp pain as Borg implants erupted across it! He woke to Deanna Troi shaking his shoulders.
"Sir, Q is causing chaos in the kitchens!" The vixen said, her slight accent more pronounced in the urgency.
"What is he up to this time, bring in some Feringi for breakfast?" Picard said, slipping on his borrowed habit.
"No time to explain, just hurry!" She said through her teeth, which she seemed to have more of now. Picard followed the vixen as she rushed down the spiral stairs. When they reached the kitchen, Q was pulling something out of the oven.
"Q! You didn't!" Picard said.
"Did what? I'm hurt Mon Capitan, I was just trying to cook without any omnipotent aid. What use is being omnipotent if you aren't mundane occasionally? Why the Friar here was just showing me how." As Q said this, a mouse in an apron came out from behind an oven across the room.
"Weel noo, did ye come fer a wee snack afor brekkist? Ah can ken, Ah'll get sumpin' fer ye!" The mouse said, he saw the confused look on Troi and Picard's faces. "Where're me manners? Ah'm Fraher Solo, Ah come from the north. So who are you?"
"I am Jean Luc Picard, Captain of the starship Enterprise. This is Counselor Deanna Troi, my comrade and ship's counselor." Picard said, and then looked at Q. "And I can see that you have met Q, my constant tormenter and occasional ally."
"So that's 'is name? Ah thought he was just bein' smart! He's a strangebeast and he can't cook, but he seems lahke a good ally." Friar Solo said, placing some scones on a tray. Then a voice boomed throughout the kitchens.
"Friar Solo, I thought I told you, no more stealing food for guests! They can wait til breakfast." The voice belonged to Goldstripe, Badger Mother of Redwall. "And who made this mess?" She asked, looking around the room.
"It 'twas me marm. Ah wasn't payin attention, that's all." The Friar said, raising a paw.
"Well, clean it up before the rest of your helpers get here." Goldstripe said, nodding her great striped head. When she left, Q spoke up.
"Why did you take the blame? I made the mess, but you said you did. This confuses me more than why Data wants to be more human." He said, looking exasperated. He walked out of the room shaking his head.
"What did he mean by 'Data wantin to be more human'? What's a human?" Friar Solo asked, looking very perplexed.
"Never mind that. We will help you clean this mess." Troi said, but as she did a flash of light made her realize that it would not be necessary. The kitchen was clean, and every breakfast dish that the Friar had started was finished! Sometimes Q did come in handy.
Later, at Salamandastron
"Excellent, Taggerung of Borg! With my Collective here, I will be unstoppable!" The Borg Queen said, the cables lowering her into her body. Her third 'equal' was much better than both Locutus and Data combined; he was strong, bold, sly, loyal, and easily manipulated.
"My Queen, the badger and his hares have escaped. Many were assimilated, but many more fled. Our drones could not adapt to their weapons."
"This is a problem indeed. Are the new drones outfitted yet?" She asked.
"Yes, and ready to serve you." Taggerung replied.
"Send them out, I want that badger taken care of."
Outside of Salamandastron
"Sah, we lost twenty good fighting hares to those, things. There's so many of 'em." Said Major Basil Woodsorrel. Russano just stared at the mountain that had been his home for so many seasons. "Sah?"
"Oh, sorry. Yes, we move out. To Redwall, so we can warn them of what is to come."
No, the Borg Queen at Salamandastron, say it isn't so! Will Russano get to Redwall in time? Find out in the next chapter: "Russano on the Run" or "Queen for More Than a Day."
No hares were killed in the making of this fic, just brutally beat and had nanoprobes injected into their bloodstream, then multiple drills going into painful spots as the synthetic parts are integrated with their systems.
(Sorry if the beginning seems familiar, but I wrote this after watching 'First Contact'.