Thanks to everyone who reviewed, no so much MP anymore, I'll still have
some more sometime though, but there are so many other pranks to play!
Promise to update soon! Please review!
Lone Wolf: Yes, I got those lines from Anne McCaffery's books.
Chapter 24 The Interrogator & More Pranks
Harry hurried into the healer's wing at the Fortress with a large bag full of Haruput leaves. There had been yet another attack, this time at a town meeting in some small suburb in Jamaica of all places. Fifteen casualties and the whole town burned to the ground. He tossed the bag to one of the healers, Ramira he thought, just then he caught sight of an Order agent on the grounds. Nothing unusual about that, but seeing his robes Harry noticed that he was with the special projects division, and Harry knew that one: there were only ten people in that division, and two: he knew all of them and three: no new people had been put in it. Harry lowered the walls around his mind just a little; the man's thoughts hit him, no blocking spell.
{He said it was on the left, there, the large cavern. Flight of stairs in the left front corner beside the door to Black's quarters and those of the council, important visitors etc. Password is Arachnophobia, second password is Queen Victoria.} Harry scowled, not many people knew those passwords, this man had no sign of any rank beyond special projects division, and only the division leaders were allowed up there, and they each wore a badge at all times with their division. There could only be one conclusion, this man was an assassin or a spy. Harry turned to the nearest healer, Polaris, Sirius's cousin he recalled.
"Polaris see that man over there? He's not in the special projects division, he's either a spy or an assassin, tell the Lord Phoenix and give him an image of him, tell him I'm going to follow the spy and try to stop him from killing anyone. This may be a diversion to call attention from other places so don't send too much backup." Polaris nodded and his eyes unfocused, Harry placed the invisibility spell upon himself and hurried after the man.
Like a cat Harry stalked his quarry, into the main cavern, up the stairs and down the hall. As the other stopped outside the council room Harry walked until he was only feet away, the spy scattered some papers on the floor. Harry watched as the man bent to pick them up while planting a tiny disk on the floor that blended in with the carpet. Harry then return to the end on the hall and met the man as he came out, bumping into him.
"Oh! Sorry."
"That's okay Harry, what you up to?"
"I-say are you new?"
"Yeah, just entered yesterday."
"Huh, odd, no one told me of an initiation, humph! So you're in the special projects division hmm? Come on then, the Lord Phoenix asked me to round you all up, there's a little problem with the telepathic communications, come on. I'm to tell you that your new assignments are in the usual folders in the Blue Room. Do you know where that is?"
"No, first time up here."
"And here I was thinking that everyone in the special project division knew their way around, guess they hurried your training." Harry turned off down the hall and stopped outside the council room.
"Isn't that the council room?" Harry gave him a weird look.
"No really? Gee, I thought it was your masters wardrobe." He opened the door and shove the man in, hard, the spy landed face down on the carpet. Harry stepped on the collar of his robes, pinning him there. The spy looked up into the frigid eyes of the Lord Phoenix while the entire council watched with grim looks on their faces.
"So nice of you to join us, let the man up Harry, you don't treat guests that way, even if they are from Voldemort." Harry twisted his shoes so that the man on the floor choked before striding to a place along the wall where he leaned against it, arms folded to watch the show.
And it was quite a show. The man's name was Paul Zodman, he's magic readings were not on the files so he was an ideal spy, and he had worked up a nearly complete immunity to vertisarum and all truth potions, he was also a very nasty individual who did nothing but rain insults on them all. Finally Sirius had had enough, he was just getting ready to try and torture some information out of him when Miranda stalked in.
Miranda was probably more powerful than even Dumbledore, nearly as powerful as Harry, and her habit of carrying enough concealed weapons to arm a battalion, along with a reputation for killing and amazing interrogation abilities led many to fear her. Harry had seen the open respect and slight fear just about everyone besides Sirius, Dumbledore, and himself showed around her, but he had never seen the entire council quail at the sight of her and flinch away before. He had also known that she had, when she was very young, been captured by some of Voldemort's supporters, a group who called themselves the Interrogators who were feared even to some extent by Voldemort. They used a magical weapon to torture victims until the unfortunate person got so used to doing exactly what they said without question, like a robot, that they could tell the person to kill themselves and the person would simply drop dead. All of them were female, captured when they were between ten and thirteen, they were tortured until they were basically unable to feel pain and loved to torture others, lunatics all of them, they usually killed themselves around the age of thirty five. Miranda had been caught by them and trained, but them she had killed her trainers and escaped, the only one to do so ever. All of the Interrogators had been killed upon capture after Voldemort's downfall. Miranda was the last one of them. She was dressed from head to foot in red leather, from a gold bracelet on her right wrist hung a gold chain, attached to it as a ten inch long red rod topped with a ruby, the Interrogators instrument of torture, called an Blood Rod.
"On your feet." It was a short curt command, and the prisoner was too slow to obey, Miranda whipped around and touched the rod to his cheek, instantly he fell to the floor, screaming. "I said on your feet, and that means NOW!" The prisoner jumped to his feet, touching his cheek, staring at her in horror.
"Well timed." Sirius commented, Miranda rested a hand on the back of his chair; Sirius eyed the Blood Rod, dangling only inches away from his shoulder, with worry.
"What exactly do you want to know form him? I sure he'll be only too willing to tell you." She purred, her eyes gleaming at Zodman, who was trembling.
"Just so long as you don't kill him."
"That can await."
"No I mean never. Once you've given him a thorough going over we'll send him back to his master."
"Bit by bit perhaps?"
"Miranda please, drop the terrorist act." Sirius said, leaning away from the Blood Rod a little as his wife scowled and ruffled his hair.
"You're ruining my fun, would you like me to question him here or in the dungeons?"
"I think the carpet looks better unstained."
"You heard him Zodman, we'll continue our conversation in the dungeons, make one move to run and you'll wish you'd never been born, got that?" Zodman nodded, "I said got that? Answer me!"
"Yes." Miranda ran the Blood Rod across his face again as she left, He staggered and screamed, Sirius kicked him roughly and he hurried out. The council didn't move. Harry sensed Sirius sending them a message, then Sirius included him.
Do you have any questions for him? If you do then please come, you might want to anyway, just to see how Interrogators work, mind you it's not pleasant. Most of the council followed, Harry sent a quick message to Sirius saying he had to get back to Hogwarts and left, he had no real wish to watch, Miranda might be one of the nicest people he knew, but she was ruthless against Voldemort's supporters.
**
Harry sat down in his rooms; the other Marauders were already there except for Draco. He was, to the other's thinking and his, basically an honorary Marauders and normally wasn't involved with most of their pranks, Harry sent him a message through he badge that they were having a meeting. Soon he appeared and they got down to business.
"What do you lot say to blowing up the great hall?" Ron asked.
"Literally? You ARE crackers, Dumbledore will have fits!" Ira exclaimed.
"Isn't that the purpose?" Draco asked smugly.
"That's our long-range goal, the other is to drive the professors up the walls."
"Literally or figuratively Ron?"
"You're a genius Harry! Literally of course! Duh!"
"Then there's the other goals, put Snape in an asylum, drive McGonagal batty, Filch nutters, Flitwick crazy, and Trelwany mentally deficient, worse than now I mean, and Dumbledore off his rocker." Harry listed off.
"Make them all loose their marbles to shorten it." Hermione said, Ron brought them back on track.
"Back to the up the walls idea?"
"How shall we accomplish this I wonder?"
"Uhoh, bad luck chaps, he's got that look in his eye, one of Harry Potter's machiavellian devilish dangerous no doubt pranks coming right up!" Ron groaned, Harry smirked.
"How are we going to drive them up the walls Harry? Won't that be a little hard to ensure safety?"
"Elementary my dear Ira, elementary. We attach their chairs to a spell, which will drag them backwards to the wall and up it. Once they reach ten feet we leave them."
"Anything else?"
"Blow up all the food?"
"Isn't that a little to simple Hermione?"
"I agree with Draco, too simple, but there is something else we could do…"
**
That evening, just before the food appeared, the professors were suddenly yanked back, slammed into the wall, and then went shooting up it to a height of ten feet, where they stuck. Dumbledore managed to undo the charm and they all crashed back to earth.
Then Dumbledore reached down to lift the cover off a platter, a signal to start eating, and out leaped Mrs. Norris! He dropped the lid in astonishment, when he went o lift it again out came…the silverware? Yes, forks spoon and knives, each in their own little unit came marching in rows off the platter. A bunch of salad spoon followed, drumming a marching song as they went. In perfect military fashion the silverware hopped down off the table and marched to their correct places. It took nearly five minutes for them to stop coming out. At which point Dumbledore put the lid down again and watched in fascination as the silverware went to their spots, then each utensil acted out a horrid death and fell into place. Then, with everyone's eyes on him he lifted the lid again, a large roast turkey was there, then its head uncurled from where it had been hidden.
"Yu gonna 'et me bub?" It asked, "no r'spec' fer me kind these days, nope der ain't. The head and neck then proceeded to blow up, scattering the exploding jelly beads from which it had been made, exploding jelly beads which had jelly inside that was nearly liquid (a new invention of Zonkos) exploded upon impacting, every person in the hall was hit with at least twenty as the entire turkey blew up. The Marauders, hidden beneath their tables, snickered and gave each other high fives.
"POTTER! WEEASELY! GRANGER! SMITHRAN! MALFOY! I want to see ALL of you in my office right after the meal! Got that???!!!" McGonagal roared in a fury, most of the hall was laughing as the five Marauders emerged un-jellied form under the tables. They all stood to attention, faces stiff and expressionless, backs straight, shoulder back, looking very military, despite the fact their Marauder's clothes lent it an unprofessional look.
"Yes professor ma'am!" They gave her a sharp salute and sat down again.
The Marauders got detentions for two days, but they didn't mind, a perfect chance to spread Quick Drying Upon Sticking Super Glue on all the floors of Hogwarts.
REVIEW PLEASE I LOVE REVIEWS!!!
Lone Wolf: Yes, I got those lines from Anne McCaffery's books.
Chapter 24 The Interrogator & More Pranks
Harry hurried into the healer's wing at the Fortress with a large bag full of Haruput leaves. There had been yet another attack, this time at a town meeting in some small suburb in Jamaica of all places. Fifteen casualties and the whole town burned to the ground. He tossed the bag to one of the healers, Ramira he thought, just then he caught sight of an Order agent on the grounds. Nothing unusual about that, but seeing his robes Harry noticed that he was with the special projects division, and Harry knew that one: there were only ten people in that division, and two: he knew all of them and three: no new people had been put in it. Harry lowered the walls around his mind just a little; the man's thoughts hit him, no blocking spell.
{He said it was on the left, there, the large cavern. Flight of stairs in the left front corner beside the door to Black's quarters and those of the council, important visitors etc. Password is Arachnophobia, second password is Queen Victoria.} Harry scowled, not many people knew those passwords, this man had no sign of any rank beyond special projects division, and only the division leaders were allowed up there, and they each wore a badge at all times with their division. There could only be one conclusion, this man was an assassin or a spy. Harry turned to the nearest healer, Polaris, Sirius's cousin he recalled.
"Polaris see that man over there? He's not in the special projects division, he's either a spy or an assassin, tell the Lord Phoenix and give him an image of him, tell him I'm going to follow the spy and try to stop him from killing anyone. This may be a diversion to call attention from other places so don't send too much backup." Polaris nodded and his eyes unfocused, Harry placed the invisibility spell upon himself and hurried after the man.
Like a cat Harry stalked his quarry, into the main cavern, up the stairs and down the hall. As the other stopped outside the council room Harry walked until he was only feet away, the spy scattered some papers on the floor. Harry watched as the man bent to pick them up while planting a tiny disk on the floor that blended in with the carpet. Harry then return to the end on the hall and met the man as he came out, bumping into him.
"Oh! Sorry."
"That's okay Harry, what you up to?"
"I-say are you new?"
"Yeah, just entered yesterday."
"Huh, odd, no one told me of an initiation, humph! So you're in the special projects division hmm? Come on then, the Lord Phoenix asked me to round you all up, there's a little problem with the telepathic communications, come on. I'm to tell you that your new assignments are in the usual folders in the Blue Room. Do you know where that is?"
"No, first time up here."
"And here I was thinking that everyone in the special project division knew their way around, guess they hurried your training." Harry turned off down the hall and stopped outside the council room.
"Isn't that the council room?" Harry gave him a weird look.
"No really? Gee, I thought it was your masters wardrobe." He opened the door and shove the man in, hard, the spy landed face down on the carpet. Harry stepped on the collar of his robes, pinning him there. The spy looked up into the frigid eyes of the Lord Phoenix while the entire council watched with grim looks on their faces.
"So nice of you to join us, let the man up Harry, you don't treat guests that way, even if they are from Voldemort." Harry twisted his shoes so that the man on the floor choked before striding to a place along the wall where he leaned against it, arms folded to watch the show.
And it was quite a show. The man's name was Paul Zodman, he's magic readings were not on the files so he was an ideal spy, and he had worked up a nearly complete immunity to vertisarum and all truth potions, he was also a very nasty individual who did nothing but rain insults on them all. Finally Sirius had had enough, he was just getting ready to try and torture some information out of him when Miranda stalked in.
Miranda was probably more powerful than even Dumbledore, nearly as powerful as Harry, and her habit of carrying enough concealed weapons to arm a battalion, along with a reputation for killing and amazing interrogation abilities led many to fear her. Harry had seen the open respect and slight fear just about everyone besides Sirius, Dumbledore, and himself showed around her, but he had never seen the entire council quail at the sight of her and flinch away before. He had also known that she had, when she was very young, been captured by some of Voldemort's supporters, a group who called themselves the Interrogators who were feared even to some extent by Voldemort. They used a magical weapon to torture victims until the unfortunate person got so used to doing exactly what they said without question, like a robot, that they could tell the person to kill themselves and the person would simply drop dead. All of them were female, captured when they were between ten and thirteen, they were tortured until they were basically unable to feel pain and loved to torture others, lunatics all of them, they usually killed themselves around the age of thirty five. Miranda had been caught by them and trained, but them she had killed her trainers and escaped, the only one to do so ever. All of the Interrogators had been killed upon capture after Voldemort's downfall. Miranda was the last one of them. She was dressed from head to foot in red leather, from a gold bracelet on her right wrist hung a gold chain, attached to it as a ten inch long red rod topped with a ruby, the Interrogators instrument of torture, called an Blood Rod.
"On your feet." It was a short curt command, and the prisoner was too slow to obey, Miranda whipped around and touched the rod to his cheek, instantly he fell to the floor, screaming. "I said on your feet, and that means NOW!" The prisoner jumped to his feet, touching his cheek, staring at her in horror.
"Well timed." Sirius commented, Miranda rested a hand on the back of his chair; Sirius eyed the Blood Rod, dangling only inches away from his shoulder, with worry.
"What exactly do you want to know form him? I sure he'll be only too willing to tell you." She purred, her eyes gleaming at Zodman, who was trembling.
"Just so long as you don't kill him."
"That can await."
"No I mean never. Once you've given him a thorough going over we'll send him back to his master."
"Bit by bit perhaps?"
"Miranda please, drop the terrorist act." Sirius said, leaning away from the Blood Rod a little as his wife scowled and ruffled his hair.
"You're ruining my fun, would you like me to question him here or in the dungeons?"
"I think the carpet looks better unstained."
"You heard him Zodman, we'll continue our conversation in the dungeons, make one move to run and you'll wish you'd never been born, got that?" Zodman nodded, "I said got that? Answer me!"
"Yes." Miranda ran the Blood Rod across his face again as she left, He staggered and screamed, Sirius kicked him roughly and he hurried out. The council didn't move. Harry sensed Sirius sending them a message, then Sirius included him.
Do you have any questions for him? If you do then please come, you might want to anyway, just to see how Interrogators work, mind you it's not pleasant. Most of the council followed, Harry sent a quick message to Sirius saying he had to get back to Hogwarts and left, he had no real wish to watch, Miranda might be one of the nicest people he knew, but she was ruthless against Voldemort's supporters.
**
Harry sat down in his rooms; the other Marauders were already there except for Draco. He was, to the other's thinking and his, basically an honorary Marauders and normally wasn't involved with most of their pranks, Harry sent him a message through he badge that they were having a meeting. Soon he appeared and they got down to business.
"What do you lot say to blowing up the great hall?" Ron asked.
"Literally? You ARE crackers, Dumbledore will have fits!" Ira exclaimed.
"Isn't that the purpose?" Draco asked smugly.
"That's our long-range goal, the other is to drive the professors up the walls."
"Literally or figuratively Ron?"
"You're a genius Harry! Literally of course! Duh!"
"Then there's the other goals, put Snape in an asylum, drive McGonagal batty, Filch nutters, Flitwick crazy, and Trelwany mentally deficient, worse than now I mean, and Dumbledore off his rocker." Harry listed off.
"Make them all loose their marbles to shorten it." Hermione said, Ron brought them back on track.
"Back to the up the walls idea?"
"How shall we accomplish this I wonder?"
"Uhoh, bad luck chaps, he's got that look in his eye, one of Harry Potter's machiavellian devilish dangerous no doubt pranks coming right up!" Ron groaned, Harry smirked.
"How are we going to drive them up the walls Harry? Won't that be a little hard to ensure safety?"
"Elementary my dear Ira, elementary. We attach their chairs to a spell, which will drag them backwards to the wall and up it. Once they reach ten feet we leave them."
"Anything else?"
"Blow up all the food?"
"Isn't that a little to simple Hermione?"
"I agree with Draco, too simple, but there is something else we could do…"
**
That evening, just before the food appeared, the professors were suddenly yanked back, slammed into the wall, and then went shooting up it to a height of ten feet, where they stuck. Dumbledore managed to undo the charm and they all crashed back to earth.
Then Dumbledore reached down to lift the cover off a platter, a signal to start eating, and out leaped Mrs. Norris! He dropped the lid in astonishment, when he went o lift it again out came…the silverware? Yes, forks spoon and knives, each in their own little unit came marching in rows off the platter. A bunch of salad spoon followed, drumming a marching song as they went. In perfect military fashion the silverware hopped down off the table and marched to their correct places. It took nearly five minutes for them to stop coming out. At which point Dumbledore put the lid down again and watched in fascination as the silverware went to their spots, then each utensil acted out a horrid death and fell into place. Then, with everyone's eyes on him he lifted the lid again, a large roast turkey was there, then its head uncurled from where it had been hidden.
"Yu gonna 'et me bub?" It asked, "no r'spec' fer me kind these days, nope der ain't. The head and neck then proceeded to blow up, scattering the exploding jelly beads from which it had been made, exploding jelly beads which had jelly inside that was nearly liquid (a new invention of Zonkos) exploded upon impacting, every person in the hall was hit with at least twenty as the entire turkey blew up. The Marauders, hidden beneath their tables, snickered and gave each other high fives.
"POTTER! WEEASELY! GRANGER! SMITHRAN! MALFOY! I want to see ALL of you in my office right after the meal! Got that???!!!" McGonagal roared in a fury, most of the hall was laughing as the five Marauders emerged un-jellied form under the tables. They all stood to attention, faces stiff and expressionless, backs straight, shoulder back, looking very military, despite the fact their Marauder's clothes lent it an unprofessional look.
"Yes professor ma'am!" They gave her a sharp salute and sat down again.
The Marauders got detentions for two days, but they didn't mind, a perfect chance to spread Quick Drying Upon Sticking Super Glue on all the floors of Hogwarts.
REVIEW PLEASE I LOVE REVIEWS!!!