Hi! Look, I got the next chapter up...finally ^_^;; sorry it took so long, been busy @_@ too busy... but hey, I started on another fic ^____^ ah well. So here's more of Phoenix! And please at least let me know you're reading, I wanna know! You dun have to say much! Jus' a "hey I'm reading this"! And thank you to everyone who's reviewed so far ^____^ ::huggles reviews:: you're so nice! Thank you thank you thank you!
Nikki :-P

Series: Phoenix
Name: Forgiveness
Genre: Drama
Pairings: 1+4, 5x2, 6x3,
Rating: R

Key:
~()~ Break
*Thought*

Warning: Cussing, yaoi-ish-ness (yes, more implications -_-;;;), all the normal-ness.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, any of it's characters, story lines or anything really ^_^ I'm an amateur doing this for my own amusement and maybe yours. Please don't sue me?

Forgiveness
By Nikki :-P or Nataku's Child

~

Phoenix
 : a legendary bird which according to one account lived 500 years, burned itself to ashes on a pyre, and rose alive from the ashes to live another period; also : a person or thing likened to the phoenix

-Merriam-Webster's Dictionary

~

Trowa blinked awake, though he wasn't sure why. He glanced around and found Zechs kneeling by his bed.

"Good morning," Zechs greeted.

Trowa blinked again and sat up. "What time is it?" he asked.

"Just after five, I thought I should leave early," Zechs said.

Trowa nodded.

"God you're hot in the morning, I'd almost forgotten," Zechs said, icy-blue eyes roaming over Trowa.

Trowa smirked and ran his fingers through his hair. "Somehow, I doubt that's true." he winced as his fingers caught.

Zechs smirked and stood up before leaning over and kissing Trowa softly.

Trowa smirked into the kiss and leaned back.

Zechs stopped. "Trowa, I need to go."

"Do you want to go?"

"I need to go."

"I didn't ask if you needed to go." Trowa slid his hand up Zechs' loose shirt. "I asked if you wanted to go."

Zechs closed his eyes and stood up slowly.

"Bye Trowa," he said sternly.

Trowa slid out of bed. "Fine, I guess you're right."

Zechs opened his eyes and was greeted by a still gloriously nude Trowa Barton. Zechs smirked and pounced on the unsuspecting younger man.

"I thought you had to go," Trowa said breathlessly as Zechs nibbled on his neck.

"A few minutes won't hurt."

~()~

Duo stared blankly at his tasty-flakes, stirring the quickly mushing cereal around the bowl. He'd gotten past crying, he had cried all night, now he was hurting. It ached in his chest, constantly reminding him that he had lost it all. He had once been so happy. Except for the small dark blotch when Heero had tried to kill himself, his life had been a fuzzy haze of joy, nothing ever seemed wrong.

Duo's lip started to quiver again. He closed his eyes, dropping his spoon to cover them as tears started to fall.

*Again,* he thought. *Or is it still? I can't tell anymore.*

He felt a hand on his shoulder. He stiffened.

"It's me," Heero said softly.

Duo relaxed, wiping his eyes. "Hey buddy."

Heero squeezed his shoulder before going to get his own breakfast. "Not doing well?" he asked, shuffling through the cabinet.

Duo snorted bitterly. "I'd say. Did I-"

"No," Heero said quickly.

"How'd you-"

"He's a bastard Duo," Heero said, turning from the cabinet to look Duo in the eye. "You didn't make the mistake, he did."

Duo looked down, stirring his mushy cereal again. "Yeah..."

"I mean it," Heero said sternly.

"Yeah...yeah I know." Duo dropped the spoon again. He looked up. "What about you?"

Heero turned away, unconvincingly searching through the cabinet. "What about me?"

Duo raised an eyebrow. "We aren't blind Heero. We meaning everyone in this house..." Duo paused but shook his head and continued. "We know something happened. How are you holding up?"

"I..." Heero's wandering hand stilled. "I..." he sighed and closed the cabinet. He walked over and sat down next to Duo. "I'm not." He put his head in his hands, knotting his fingers in his ever-messy hair.

Duo pushed his bowl away, crossing his arms in its spot and resting his chin on them. "I'm listening."

Heero looked over through his fingers, then back at the table. "He promised me he'd come back. Has Quatre ever lied to you?"

"No," Duo said quietly.

"That was his first to me," Heero said. "I...I thought that..." he couldn't say it. He felt so stupid! How could he think that Quatre had cared at all about him? No one cared.

"You can tell me," Duo said softly. "I think I know how you feel."

Heero looked over to the other man. Duo. Duo cared, he'd always cared. They were best friends, though at times it didn't seem like it.

"I though that he loved me, I thought he cared," Heero said, his voice was harsh as he tried to keep his tears down. "I let myself care about him. I let myself hope that..."

Duo lifted his head. He didn't move other then that, but Heero knew that the he was giving support, telling him that it was okay.

"I let myself hope that someone loved me for what I really was, not what they thought I was, or should be." Heero finished.

"Heero?"

Heero looked over.

Duo was looking away, his arms crossed over his chest. "You're my best friend, whether you like it or not." He looked over and smiled.

Heero offered a small smile back.

"My point is," Duo continued, "that no matter what, you'll always be my best friend. And what you did to 'Fei..." He smiled sadly, his up-turned lip shaking slightly. "Well, that was nice of you. I just want you to know that I love ya man, no matter who you might be under all that 'don't give a shit' attitude."

Heero chuckled. He turned serious and looked to Duo. "I love you too Duo, though I guess it's hard to tell due to the afore mentioned 'don't give a shit' attitude. I'll always be there to stand by you, whenever you need me."

Duo smiled. "Ditto. Deal?" He put out his hand. "Always there, no matter what."

Heero grasped his hand, shaking it firmly. "No matter what."

~()~

Trowa ended up leaving his room far later then his usual time. Zechs had left through the window a few minutes earlier, it had taken him a bit longer to leave then he had expected.

Trowa took a quick shower. Barely awake, he toweled himself off, not noticing the fact that his toenails were still painted; he had only remembered to take the polish off of his fingers.

He was walking down the stairs, trying not to look too out of it, when he past a slightly slumped over Duo, heading up.

"Hey Tro'," He said, not looking up.

Trowa frowned and stopped his descent, looking back at his housemate. Duo's usually carefully plaited hair looked loosely done and ruffled, his usually cared for clothes were twisted and rumpled. Frowning deeper but not bringing it up, Trowa again wondered if he was missing something.

Last night, though he had heard something happening, he could quite make out what it was from his position.

Trowa started walking again, hoping he might get more out of Heero.

But Heero only nodded to him as he left the kitchen, Trowa noted that he looked a little worn as well.

*Heero and Duo? Wufei must be at work already, he's not any help...but then last night...* Trowa shook his head. He obviously wasn't going to get any answers soon.

This is about where Trowa noticed the room he was standing in. With a heavy sigh, he surveyed the living room. A lamp had fallen and shattered and no one -he thought with frown- bothered to clean it up. There were tissues all over the couch and coffee table, and about half of the videodisks were strewn over the floor. Doing his best impression of Marge Simpson's noise of disapproval, Trowa gave up on breakfast and went about straightening the disaster.

He was cleaning up the tissues, which he swore he'd make Duo pay for -he figured it was him since no one else would leave evidence of weakness- when something under the table caught his attention. Putting the wastebasket aside, Trowa reached for the small white thing under the old beat up coffee table. He pulled it out and inspected it. It turned out to be an envelope, with Heero's name written in perfect, looping handwriting. With a shrug, Trowa put it aside. He'd give it to Heero later...

~()~

Duo tossed in his bed. He couldn't seem to get comfortable, no matter how many positions he tried, how many pillows he propped himself on, he just couldn't sleep. With an aggravated groan, Duo sat up, pulling his knees under his chin.

*If I wasn't the one who made the mistake, why do I feel so badly?* he thought miserably. *If he's such a bastard, why can't I be mad at him?*

"Ah! Why do I feel like I've done something wrong?" he yelled, not caring if he woke the others.

He hugged his knees tighter against him, trying to sooth the aching.

*He cheated on me, so why-*

His thoughts were cut off by light tapping on his door. Duo looked up from his arms, feeling a cool breeze on tears he didn't know were there.

"Y-yeah?" he called softly, his voice cracking.

The door opened, and without a word, Heero walked in, threw him a white envelope and sat down on his bed, burring his head in his arms in a position similar to Duo's.

Duo frowned at his friend before turning his attention to the envelope. "What's this?" he asked, reading Heero's name before flipping it over to the ripped open seal.

"Trowa gave it to me," Heero answered from under his arms. "He said he found it a couple of days ago. It's from Quatre."

"Wha'?" Duo pulled out the letter, not waiting for a response and read:

'Dear Heero,

I suppose a letter is the coward's way out, but I just can't face you when I tell you.

This is the fifteenth time I've written this letter. In fact, the first four times, I didn't get past the beginning. It took me that long to get "Dear Heero".

Oh Heero, I'm trying to stall, but I've already run out of excuses.

I'm sorry.

I love you.'

Duo bit at his lip. "Uh, Heero?"

"It's alright," he said, not looking up. "You need to read it."

Duo nodded but still feeling uncomfortable, skipped past most of the letter, only catching small pieces...

'It tore my heart to learn that you were in pain...'

'So how is the weather...?'

'I love you deeply, Heero...'

'I need to know if you have any feelings for me, though I know I don't deserve them...'

Duo stopped skipping and started reading towards the end, where his name popped up.

'Please tell Duo that I'm sorry. Wufei was everything for me, he was the most giving and caring friend I could have wished for, but I fear I took too much of his time. I think that my asking him to keep me a secret took its toll on him as well.

I know that Wufei loves Duo more then I can imagine, and I know Duo feels the same. My only comfort is that I'm sure I could never come between something as strong as what they share.'

The letter went on, but Duo stopped there. His heart was racing and the ache had just grown, fueled by guilt.

"He wasn't cheating," Duo said softly.

"No."

"He was only helping Quatre."

"Yes."

"I screwed up royally."

"We both did." Heero looked up at Duo, they shared the same look in their eyes, a look of relief and guilt.

Duo exhaled. "All those 'signs', all those times he was late..."

Heero nodded. "When I saw them together..."

Duo put his head in his hands, sobs choking his next words. "When he said he was sorry..."

Heero crawled over and put his arms around his friend.

"What are we going to do? I didn't trust him, I said I loved him but I didn't even trust him." Duo's body shook as he cried.

Heero just held him tighter, rocking him back and forth.

"What are we going to do?" Duo whispered.

~()~

Quatre smiled warmly at Wufei as the ruffled looking Preventer entered the kitchen. "Breakfast is almost done."

Wufei made a soft grunt and headed for the coffee maker, pouring himself a cup as Quatre finished with the eggs.

"I don't have work today..." Quatre commented, trying to fill the silence.

"Hn..." was the only response.

Quatre sighed and sat down, fixing Wufei with a worried gaze. "Why don't you call him?"

Wufei put down his cup. "I've tried, all I get is Heero or Trowa. Heero wont let me get past hello and Trowa doesn't seem to know why Duo wont answer." He sighed and rubbed his temples. "I don't even know what I did wrong, he seemed perfectly fine before I left..."

Quatre couldn't think of anything helpful, so he went back to breakfast.

"Have you tried calling?" Wufei asked, taking another sip of coffee.

Quatre threw a small smile over his shoulder before turning back to the stove. "No. Actually, I'm kind of glad he didn't get the letter." He chuckled lightly. "I don't think I could deal with his rejection."

"Quatre?"

"Maybe it was destiny," Quatre went on. "Maybe I never should have-"

"Quatre."

"Yeah?" The cheerfulness was obviously forced.

"Look at me," Wufei ordered.

The blond turned around. Wufei frowned. Tears had been leaking down his face as he spoke, and Wufei hadn't noticed the circles under his eyes before.

"What if he got it Wufei?" Quatre asked softly. "What if he just doesn't love me? Or if he didn't get it, should I write again? I...I don't think I can." He twisted the spatula in his hands and looked back the pan. "Eggs are done."

They ate in silence.

~()~

"I'm gonna go see him," Duo said stubbornly as he pushed open the kitchen door. "And you," he pointed to Heero, who was reading the paper at the table. "Are going to go see Quatre."

Trowa turned from where he was putting dishes into the dishwasher.

"Duo-" Heero started.

"No," Duo snapped, slamming his palms on the table. "I know what you're going to say, something like 'I'm not going to' or 'don't have time' just 'cause you're scared."

Heero looked down.

"Look Heero, you know you love him, and based on the fact that he said it outright in the letter, he loves you too." Duo sighed and plopped down in one of the chairs, running a hand through his still unbound hair. "Now I'm not sayin' it's gonna be easy..."

Heero looked up. "Just tell him you're sorry."

Duo snorted. "Simpler said then done. I have to tell him that I didn't trust him, questioned his honor, and had you spy on him."

"You could leave that last part out," Heero said dryly.

Duo shook his head. "I need to be honest with him." He sighed again. "Crap..." after a moment, he turned to Heero. "So what are you gonna say to Quat'?"

Heero looked uncomfortable. "I...I don't think I-"

"Heero..." Duo warned.

Heero leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes. "He said he didn't deserve my feelings...why would he think that?"

Duo chuckled. "Hell if I know, you're down right bitchy."

Heero opened an eye and glared at him, but Duo only smiled.

"Just kidding," he said, smiling crookedly at him. "Seriously, I don't know, he seemed pretty worried about it in the letter." Duo had read the whole letter afterward, at Heero's request.

Heero closed his eye again. "I know..."

They didn't notice Trowa lingering at the sink, softly clinking dishes to sound like he was doing something.

"Well, there's only one thing to do," Duo said, standing and stretching with a yawn. "Go talk to him."

"And what do I say?" Heero asked, standing as well. "Glad to hear you aren't sleeping with Wufei?"

Duo smirked. "How 'bout: 'hey, why don't we check your bed for spring malfunctions?'."

Heero chuckled. "Has that ever worked?"

Duo shook his head. "You'd be amazed." He laughed lightly as he departed.

Heero followed behind, shaking his head.

As Trowa watched the door close behind Heero, there was a sharp pain in his heart that he couldn't quite place.

~()~

Trowa watched quietly from the living room armchair as the other two moved about the house, occasionally commenting to each other as they passed.

The pain hadn't gone away, it had dulled to a small ache, deep in his chest.

*What's wrong?* he thought, as he watched Heero and Duo practically race out the door. He shrugged and stood up, a slow smirk growing on his lips. *Oh well, at least I have the house to myself.*

He went into Wufei's office and dialed his vid-phone, since it was the only one in the small house.

"Mr. Merquise's office, how can I help you?" Zechs' secretary answered.

"Hey Mark, is he in?" Trowa asked. The two had become something near friends when Trowa's calls had become more frequent. Though he never said anything, Trowa was sure Mark suspected something.

"Just got in a few moments ago," He said, smiling warmly. "I'll put you through."

Trowa nodded. "Thanks."

Zechs' image popped up a moment later. Trowa couldn't help but smile. He had to love that Preventers uniform...

"You rang?" Zechs said, lacing his fingers together to prop his chin on.

"Are you doing anything for lunch? It seems I have the house to myself for the day." His heart gave a sudden pang of...well, he wasn't really sure what.

Zechs frowned. "Are you alright?" he asked, dropping his hands to look closer at the screen.

"I'm fine," Trowa said quickly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I'll come over when I can get away, alright?" Zechs said, still looking concerned.

"Yeah," Trowa said, hanging up before he remembered to say goodbye.

*What's wrong with me?* he thought. He dropped down into Wufei's chair, absently rubbing his chest.

~()~

Heero stood outside an unremarkable door, Quatre's old and abandoned jacket gripped tightly in his hand. He had been there for a quarter of an hour already, trying to make himself knock. He was there at least, he gave himself that much. Getting to Quatre's apartment was half the battle, the other half was actually getting inside.

Heero stared at the door, looking as if he were trying to open it with the power of his mind.

And as if it had worked, the door opened.

Quatre didn't see him at first; he had turned back at the last minute and didn't see the surprised Heero waiting at his door.

When he turned back around, Quatre jumped, his eyes widening. "Heero!" he exclaimed, his hand flying to his chest. "When did you get here?"

Heero searched for words, but wasn't able to think of an answer that didn't make him sound like he'd waiting there for as long as he had. He simple lifted the jacket in his hand and said, "you forgot your jacket."

Quatre looked at it, blinking a few times. "Oh," he said softly after a few moments, "thank you." He took the garment from Heero, folding it around his arm and keeping his eyes down.

Heero could see the disappointment, even if Quatre was trying to hide it. "I got your letter," he said softly.

Quatre met his eyes. "Y-you did?" he asked, his voice breathy and shaking.

Heero nodded.

Quatre looked back at the jacket. "Do you...want to come in?" he looked up hopefully through his lashes.

"Alright." Heero was keeping it simple, not trusting his conversation skills with something so important.

As Quatre nodded, Heero could see the hand holding the jacket was shaking. Quatre stepped back through the door and lead Heero into the living room.

They sat across from each other, Quatre in an old faded armchair and Heero on the couch, next to a folded blanket and pillow.

Quatre smiled softly when he saw Heero looking at the bedding. "Wufei came over a few days ago. All I know is that Wufei and Duo had a fight, but I'm still not sure why..." Quatre's smile faded. "It has to be my fault..." he said softly.

"Quatre..." Heero started nervously, looking at his hands. He opened his mouth but closed after a few moments. What was he going to say?

"Just tell me Heero," Quatre said, his voice cracking.

Heero looked up.

Quatre had his head down, his bangs shadowing his eyes. "You read the letter," he went on. "So just tell me." He looked up. Tears had fallen from his eyes, streaking past pale cheeks and falling from a quivering chin. "I can't live without knowing any longer."

Heero got up and knelt by Quatre's chair. He lifted a hand and gently brushed Quatre's sodden cheek with his fingertips.

With a small sob, Quatre fell to his knees. Heero immediately pulled him into his arms, hugging Quatre the way he had wanted to in those lonely months, locked in his room with nothing but the now discarded jacket to hold.

Quatre clung to him, letting go of his doubt in the safety he felt whenever he was around Heero.

~()~

Trowa was absentmindedly straightening the couch pillows, doing it only to keep his hands busy as he waited for Zechs to arrive.

He stood up, bored with the pillows and started pacing the living room floor. As he past it, Trowa caught a glimpse at himself in the mirror. He stopped and walked back.

It was odd, but it felt like the person looking back through the glass wasn't him. From the hair falling over half his face to the pressed khaki pants. A quirk formed in the corner of Trowa's mouth as he looked at the bottom of the full-length mirror and saw his black painted toenails. He hadn't noticed until now that he had forgotten to take off the paint the night before. Good thing the others hadn't seen.

*Noticed,* a small voice in the back of his mind said. *They didn't notice them, or you.*

Trowa frowned. His eyes flicked back to his reflected ones...well one. Trowa pushed back his bangs, letting the hair fall to his shoulders. He stared into his reflection's eyes...

"They didn't even notice you were there," he said softly.

His eyes narrowed and he lifted a finger, placing it against the glass near a reflected eye.

"They didn't even say good morning..."

He turned away from the mirror, dropping his finger. He turned back a moment later, taking one last look before smoothing his hair over his face again.

*So what if they don't notice me? I don't need them...*

Trowa looked up as the doorbell rang. His lips quirked again.

"Right on cue," he said, shaking his head.

Zechs raised an eyebrow when Trowa opened the door. Smirking, he plucked at turtle-neck sweater. "What's the occasion?" he asked.

Trowa pulled him inside and closed the door, unable to keep from smiling. "You were spur of the moment, I didn't think to change."

Zechs chuckled pulled him closer. "I'm not complaining," he said. "It's not a bad change..."

Trowa tugged at Zechs' Preventers jacket. "Neither am I."

Zechs frowned. "But this..." he started to brush Trowa's hair from his face. "When will you stop hiding from them?" he said under his breath.

Trowa's fingers wrapped around Zechs' wrist. "I don't know what you mean," he said evenly.

"Is that what's wrong?" Zechs asked, pulling his hand away.

"What are you talking about?" Trowa knew he said it to quickly.

"You're hiding," Zechs said. "You kept your face covered, you only do that around them. And these..." he tugged at Trowa's collar. "You hate these clothes..." his voice softened. "Why are you hiding from me?"

*Am I? Is that why they don't see me, I don't want them to? No...it's them, it's their fault...*

"I'm not hiding," Trowa said, his voice sounding surer then he felt. He stepped around Zechs and started to walk away. "I just remembered that we were going to have lunch. Do want to fix something or just-" Zechs grabbed his arm and he cut off. He turned around, looking the other man in the eye.

*Why wont you tell him?* his thoughts whispered.

"What's wrong?" Zechs ask softly, brushing back Trowa's bangs.

His resolve wavered. Zechs cared, not like his so-called friends, he was the one person who understood him...or at least tried. He wanted to tell him everything, all his doubts about himself, all his fears about his friends...all the times he wished they would ask him if he was okay...

"I'm fine," he said.

Even if he wanted to, he couldn't.

"Trowa..."

"Why wont you just let it drop?" The words came out forceful. Trowa didn't even mean to say them. He turned sharply and started to walk away.

*Why are you doing this?*

"Because I care about you! And I don't want you-" Zechs stopped.

Trowa stopped. He turned around. "You don't want me what?" he asked curiously.

Zechs looked at his hands. "I don't want you to end up with a gun to your head," he said quietly.

There was tense silence.

*Could it really come to that?* Trowa thought. He rubbed his chest absently.

"You can't tell me that you've never thought of it," Zechs said softly, looking up.

"They wouldn't notice," Trowa muttered before he could stop himself.

*Maybe he didn't hear?*

"That is what's wrong, isn't it?" Zechs stepped closer.

"No," Trowa said quickly. "Forget it. What do you want to eat?"

"Trowa..." Zechs grabbed his shoulders. "Answer me."

"I don't need them!" Trowa shouted. He shut his eyes, feeling exposed and vulnerable.

*Trowa, stop-*

"And I don't need you!" He shouted, ignoring his own warning. He pushed Zechs back, harder then he meant to.

*What are you doing?!* Trowa's thoughts screamed.

He'd caught Zechs off guard and the other man fell back, looking thoroughly shocked. He recovered quickly though. "What's wrong with you?!" He yelled, rubbing his shoulder where Trowa's hand had hit him. "Are you..."

Trowa brushed past him roughly and opened the door for Zechs. "Once," he said quietly through clenched teeth, not looking up from the floor. "One of the mercenaries I worked with told me something I could never forget." He paused. "He said that some people are just born to walk alone, no matter how much they try not to." Trowa looked up. "I'm done trying," he finished coldly.

Zechs stood still a moment, holding his shoulder and staring at Trowa. He dropped his hand and walked out, but paused in the doorway. "The only reason you walk alone," he said, his voice was the only thing giving away how much he had been hurt. "Is that you run from anyone who cares..." he looked up and his eyes connected with Trowa's for a split second before Trowa looked away. Zechs chuckled bitterly. "I think you're the only one who doesn't know that." As he closed the door, Zechs added, "I love you Trowa, I thought you knew that."

The door clicked closed.

Trowa's back fell against it and he slid down, landing on the floor with a soft thud.

~()~

Duo tapped his foot as he waited for the elevator to reach Wufei's office floor. He ignored the other people in the small space, they were looking at him funny and keeping as far away from him as possible. Normally, Duo would smile at this and maybe have a little fun with the way too professional Preventers, but he wasn't in the mood.

"Thank God!" He exclaimed as the doors opened, making a few people jump.

Duo ran out as soon as the gap between the doors was big enough to fit through. He ran past the other offices, only slowing to wave at Wufei's secretary before bursting through the door.

Duo froze in the doorway when Wufei looked up. His ex-boyfriend's eyes widened.

"Duo just walked in," Wufei said into the phone he had to his ear. "I need you to fuck off for a few hours, Une, I'm busy." He hung up, not taking his eyes off the man still in the doorway.

Duo laughed. "I can't believe you did that!"

"Neither can I-what are you doing here?" Wufei said quickly, getting out of his chair and walking over.

Duo looked down, rubbing the back of his neck. "I...um..."

Wufei shook his head and grabbed Duo, hugging him tightly. "Never mind," he whispered. "I'm just so glad to see you."

Duo hugged him back, forgetting why he was there and just relishing in the feeling of Wufei's arms around him again.

"And I'm sorry," Wufei whispered.

Duo sighed and pulled back. "No, 'Fei..."

Wufei looked confused for a moment. "Oh." his face fell and he pulled out of the hug completely. He looked away. "I'm sorry, I just jumped to conclusions...I suppose you haven't forgiven..." he didn't finish.

"Oh God, 'Fei." Duo reached over and took Wufei's face in his hands, making him look into his eyes. "I'm so sorry," he said, shaking his head.

"Why...?" Wufei trailed off, looking confused.

Duo's hands slid to Wufei's face to his shoulders and he looked down, unable to look Wufei in the eyes as he confessed. "I thought you were cheating on me," he said quietly.

"What? Duo I would never-"

"I know!" Duo said, looking back up. "I know," he repeated. "I don't know how I could think that you were...but I did. I'm sorry."

Wufei put his arms around Duo's waist. "I love you Duo," he said. "I never have, and never will love anyone as much as you."

"I love you so much 'Fei," Duo said, shaking his head. "I never stopped, even when I wasn't sure you loved me anymore."

Duo's hands wrapped around Wufei's neck and Wufei's arms tightened around Duo's waist.

After Duo and Wufei had shared their first kiss, they never thought another could take its place as their best.

They were wrong.

~()~

"...The last time I did it was a few weeks before I saw you," Quatre finished his story softly. Throughout his story, Quatre had been pacing the floor. He now came to a stop in front of Heero, the only thing keeping him from once again seeking comfort in his love's arms was his own self hatred and a battered coffee table.

The small amount of emotion Heero could show, or at least as much as Quatre could read, showed no sign of shock or disgust, but Quatre wasn't so easily trusting, not anymore.

"Now, for the life of me, I don't understand why I did it, when alternate paths seem so clear now. But I did..." Quatre broke off. The arms he had wrapped around himself tightened their hold. He tried for tears but they wouldn't come, the pain in his chest only grew with no outlet.

The touch on Quatre's shoulder was light at first, but was soon joined by its brother on his other. Quatre looked up and met with what should have been soft and comforting blue eyes, but all he saw was misplaced sentiment and naïve trust. He pulled away, though in his heart he knew himself wrong.

"Quatre-"

"No!" Quatre choked out, the words trying to make it past his dry throat. "I was wrong! I made the worst mistake of my life! Don't you see? No don't touch me!" He yelled when Heero's hand had touched his shoulder again. He pushed it away. "I was wrong again! I shouldn't have written that letter! I should have left you alone, you would have been far better off..."

Quatre held himself tighter and squeezed his eyes shut. The pain in his heart was almost unbearable and he wished with all his might that he had the guts to end it.

He felt fingers slid across his neck and hook in the back. His face was gently but firmly tilted up, but he refused to open his eyes.

"Quatre, open your eyes," Heero said softly.

"Please Heero," he whispered back. "Just go home and forget me, forget you ever knew me, please?"

"Quatre." Heero's thumb started to stroke his cheek.

"Please Heero..."

"Open your eyes."

Quatre swallowed. There was no way out of it... He took a deep breath. One... Two... Three.

Quatre's eyelids slid open and a tear fell from them, streaking across his face as countless others had that day. Heero's eyes weren't warm and caring, which most found comforting in times of sorrow, but they held a sort of understanding and stability. He wasn't saying it was okay, he was saying he would be there to help heal what was wrong.

"Quatre, I love you, do you understand?"

Quatre nodded slowly.

"And you love me, right?" Quatre caught the slightest hint of doubt.

Quatre nodded quickly, adding, "always."

"At this moment, nothing else matters."

~()~

*God damn it!!!* Trowa pulled at his hair. He still sat against the door, he knees pulled to his chin, he hadn't moved since Zechs left. *This is so...confusing...*

He never needed anyone before; he had been content, even happy in solitude. Why did he feel the need to have companionship now? What was all this doubt? He never had it before. When did he change so much?

His eyes fell to the floor and caught his tinted toenails.

*Is that me? Or is this me?* he thought, lifting his arm to look at his sweater.

He dropped his arm with a sigh.

*What was it that Zechs said? I was hiding? And running...glad to know he thinks I'm such a coward...is he right? These clothes, my attitude...am I making myself invisible? All this time I've been angry with them for not noticing me...has it been my fault?*

He chuckled. *I'd love to see the look on their faces if they saw me in my real clothes...what's keeping me? I'm tired of being invisible, right?* he frowned in thought. *What am I afraid of? That they wont except me? And Zechs...what about him?*

In a way, Trowa felt that most of their relationship was based on fear-factor, the thrill of being caught, would it be the same if he told the others?

*I do love him...am I being fair to him by keeping us a secret? I'm not ashamed...am I? Heero might kill him, or me...or both of us.* he couldn't help but smile at that thought. *But would Zechs want to? Could he be ashamed of me?*

Trowa rolled his eyes. "Okay, enough thinking on that track, I sound like a 'chick flick' as Duo would say..."

"Sounds like something he would say."

Trowa jumped. Was that...?

"Zechs?!" Trowa called.

"No, this is God, I've called to tell you that the sexiest man alive is on the other side of the door wondering why his boyfriend is talking to himself."

Trowa chuckled despite himself. "Well God, your taste in men is somewhat lacking."

"And who, may I ask, would be the sexiest man alive if not me?"

"I thought you were God."

"Well, it's good to know one of us is thinking, though talking to yourself is a bit on the off side."

Trowa smiled. "So what are you doing on the other side of my door?"

He could hear Zechs sigh. "I couldn't make myself leave...that and you promised to buy me lunch."

"When did I do that?"

"When you turned into a pissy preteen girl."

Trowa glared over his shoulder, pretending there wasn't a door between him and the self-proclaimed sexiest man alive. "Thanks for understanding."

"I'm not exactly happy with you at the moment..."

There were a few moments of silence.

"Trowa? I'm sorry, I guess I'm not helping." Zechs said softly.

Trowa sighed. "I'm sorry too. I just don't know what to do, I don't even know how to act anymore."

"Then stop acting, you shouldn't have to. I will love you no matter how you act...I think I just proved that to myself."

Trowa stood up and opened the door.

Zechs, being caught off guard, fell back onto the carpeted floor, his hair flying up to fall into his face. He brushed it back in annoyance.

"I think I should tell them," Trowa said.

Zechs looked up at him, obviously surprised again. "What?"

Trowa held out a hand to him. "I was just thinking, maybe we could tell the others about...well, everything. We could actually sleep in a bed again."

Zechs looked hesitant.

Trowa didn't show the disappointment he felt. Was he right after all?

It was only a moment of distraction, but it only took that much for Trowa to be caught be surprise. It seemed the tables had turned in that department.

In a breath, Zechs had taken the offered hand, pulled himself up and placed a hand on Trowa's shoulder. "Are you ready for that?"

"What do you mean?" Trowa asked.

Zechs frowned. "This is big Trowa, are you sure you're ready to tell them?"

Trowa took the hand from his shoulder and kissed its palm. "I love you. I want more then three people to know that."

Zechs smiled. "Mark was getting a bit nosey."

Trowa smiled and kissed Zechs softly. When their lips drifted away from each other, Zechs drew Trowa into a tight hug.

There was a short silence before:
"You were just kidding about my not being the sexiest man alive, right?"

Trowa chuckled. "You're so vain."

"You didn't answer."

Silence.

Zechs growled softly and started pulling Trowa away. "I'll show you..."

Trowa laughed and started to follow, but slowed as best he could after a moment. "Zechs, I need to close the door..."

"Leave it."

"You're too eager for your own good...and mine."

Zechs just chuckled and dragged Trowa the rest of the way. "The word is horny, my dear."

~()~

In the heat of passion as two lovers fell into bed...

As a couple lay curled up together under a desk...

And as two people, who longed for each other when they were apart, embraced on a faded couch...

Six voices repeated the same words, never once a lie.

"I love you."

To be continued...

~~~~

Ack! Cheesy fluff at the end, ne? Ah well. I'm so close to ending this! ::sniffs:: I'm so happy it's almost over with! Many thanks to those still reading this long ass fic ^_^;;;

::Smiles:: the smallest thought is appreciated. Show ya care! Please?
Nikki :-P