A/N: Jessica! You are so funny! How on Earth do you write like that? This
is one good thing about having mono…we get to write and rest all day! Back
in Rita's POV.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ouch…ouch…and ouch again. Hard ground. Cold weather. And pain. Lots of pain.
I woke up to these conditions, blinking fuzzily in the early dawn (read: barely any light out)…and found myself surrounded by a bunch of strange *men*. Unable to remember what happened, I let out a little shriek of surprise, and backed up into the handle of Gimli's axe.
"Ow…"I moaned, looking completely lost and confused. "Where in the shmegging heck am I?"
Then I saw Jessica, curled up all sweetly with Aragorn. Wait a minute. With Aragorn?
"Ohhhhh, yeah…now I remember," I said to myself sleepily. " I'm with the Fellowship…crappage, mom's prolly having a heart attack right about now…" Unable to stay awake, I returned to where I had lain before, curled up against Legolas, much as Jessica was against Aragorn. Giggling, I stole Gandalf's hat and put it over my face before I went to sleep, for no particular reason at all.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"You fool girl! What are you doing with my hat?" Gandalf demanded, shaking me awake.
"Um…I felt like wearing it on my face. Be nice! I'm up, I'm up…" I dragged myself to my feet, pulling the wizard's hat off and handing it back to him, shivering a little at the cold air.
All around me, everyone else was already awake, except for Jessica, who, like me, was but *half* awake. We are not morning people.
"I want a hairbrush…" I said, putting a hand to my thick, reddish-goldish-light-brownish-hair, and wincing at how frizzed out it felt. If there's one thing I worry about, it's my hair, because it's so long, and if I neglect it, it takes hours to brush out.
"Legolas, *you* of all people ought to have a brush!" Jessica said pointedly, eyeing his perfect, platinum blond hair. "Do you?"
Rolling his eyes just a little, Legolas handed me a hairbrush.
"Don't spend forever," he warned me. "We have to break camp and be on our way, soon."
"Oh, don't worry!" I replied nonchalantly, since my hair was already pretty near to perfect. (that's the one thing about my appearance that always works for me: smooth, shiny hair that's actually easy to maintain.)
"Hey, is there anything to eat?"
"Of course there is!" Pippin returned, looking shocked that I had asked. "Sam's the best cook around!"
Sam blushed, and I grinned at Jessica. Hobbits are so cute.
"Lighting a fire would make us too conspicuous, Pip," Frodo cautioned. "We'll have to do with something quick that we can eat cold."
Pippin looked disappointed, and I couldn't blame him. I would be disappointed, too, if I had to miss second breakfast, elevenths, afternoon tea AND dinner, and what I *did* eat was cold, on top of it all. Fortunately, I don't eat like a Hobbit, so *I* wasn't suffering as much.
"I want some food…" Jessica said hopefully, giving everyone the puppy eyes again. We hadn't eaten since lunch the day before, and we were starving almost as much as Pippin.
Aragorn tossed an apple over his shoulder at her, and she caught it, with a "well, it's better than starving!" look on her face.
"Oi! Ranger-kingly-Aragorn-person? I'm kinda starving, too!" I called out from where I was sitting on the ground, helping Merry to get his bedroll and things all nice and orderly again. "I'll prolly faint on the journey if I don't have some food…and that wouldn't be nice…or good."
Rolling his eyes, Aragorn threw an apple at me and, amazingly, I caught it.
"Oh! I am *so* good!" I exclaimed triumphantly, grinning around at everyone.
Legolas looked amused, and Boromir shook his head in amazement. Was the girl insane?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
In Isengard, Saruman sat with his palantir before him, watching in malignant amusement as I grabbed Frodo's right hand in my left, and went down on one knee, right arms stretched out before me as I belted out that song from "Moulin Rouge." The one that goes:
"There was a boy.
A very strange enchanted boy…"
Yeah. That one.
He watched as Jessica tried to tie Legolas's hair into a knot, as she stole Gandalf's staff again, and as she pestered anyone and everyone with questions about Caradhras.
"They think to take those maidens to Caradhras?" he sneered to himself. "The fools. They'll never make it. Especially if one of the girls has…a misfortune."
He was looking at me.
"Ulfwush!" He called out, and an Orc presented herself (yes, there are female Orcs) before him.
"Wait until they are off Caradhras, capture the singing girl, and bring her here. I have seen her before. She does not fight."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"And while we talked of many things/fools and kings/this he said to me:/ the greatest thing/you'll ever learn/is just to love/ and be loved/ in…re...tuuuuurrrrrrrn!"
I sang dramatically, letting go of Frodo and toppling over in the grass.
"There are plenty of fools here," Gandalf grumbled good- naturedly, snatching his staff back from Jessica.
"Come on, girl, let's get going! The mountain is not far."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Jessica, what's going to happen on Caradhras? Saruman's got it in for me at Moria…
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ouch…ouch…and ouch again. Hard ground. Cold weather. And pain. Lots of pain.
I woke up to these conditions, blinking fuzzily in the early dawn (read: barely any light out)…and found myself surrounded by a bunch of strange *men*. Unable to remember what happened, I let out a little shriek of surprise, and backed up into the handle of Gimli's axe.
"Ow…"I moaned, looking completely lost and confused. "Where in the shmegging heck am I?"
Then I saw Jessica, curled up all sweetly with Aragorn. Wait a minute. With Aragorn?
"Ohhhhh, yeah…now I remember," I said to myself sleepily. " I'm with the Fellowship…crappage, mom's prolly having a heart attack right about now…" Unable to stay awake, I returned to where I had lain before, curled up against Legolas, much as Jessica was against Aragorn. Giggling, I stole Gandalf's hat and put it over my face before I went to sleep, for no particular reason at all.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"You fool girl! What are you doing with my hat?" Gandalf demanded, shaking me awake.
"Um…I felt like wearing it on my face. Be nice! I'm up, I'm up…" I dragged myself to my feet, pulling the wizard's hat off and handing it back to him, shivering a little at the cold air.
All around me, everyone else was already awake, except for Jessica, who, like me, was but *half* awake. We are not morning people.
"I want a hairbrush…" I said, putting a hand to my thick, reddish-goldish-light-brownish-hair, and wincing at how frizzed out it felt. If there's one thing I worry about, it's my hair, because it's so long, and if I neglect it, it takes hours to brush out.
"Legolas, *you* of all people ought to have a brush!" Jessica said pointedly, eyeing his perfect, platinum blond hair. "Do you?"
Rolling his eyes just a little, Legolas handed me a hairbrush.
"Don't spend forever," he warned me. "We have to break camp and be on our way, soon."
"Oh, don't worry!" I replied nonchalantly, since my hair was already pretty near to perfect. (that's the one thing about my appearance that always works for me: smooth, shiny hair that's actually easy to maintain.)
"Hey, is there anything to eat?"
"Of course there is!" Pippin returned, looking shocked that I had asked. "Sam's the best cook around!"
Sam blushed, and I grinned at Jessica. Hobbits are so cute.
"Lighting a fire would make us too conspicuous, Pip," Frodo cautioned. "We'll have to do with something quick that we can eat cold."
Pippin looked disappointed, and I couldn't blame him. I would be disappointed, too, if I had to miss second breakfast, elevenths, afternoon tea AND dinner, and what I *did* eat was cold, on top of it all. Fortunately, I don't eat like a Hobbit, so *I* wasn't suffering as much.
"I want some food…" Jessica said hopefully, giving everyone the puppy eyes again. We hadn't eaten since lunch the day before, and we were starving almost as much as Pippin.
Aragorn tossed an apple over his shoulder at her, and she caught it, with a "well, it's better than starving!" look on her face.
"Oi! Ranger-kingly-Aragorn-person? I'm kinda starving, too!" I called out from where I was sitting on the ground, helping Merry to get his bedroll and things all nice and orderly again. "I'll prolly faint on the journey if I don't have some food…and that wouldn't be nice…or good."
Rolling his eyes, Aragorn threw an apple at me and, amazingly, I caught it.
"Oh! I am *so* good!" I exclaimed triumphantly, grinning around at everyone.
Legolas looked amused, and Boromir shook his head in amazement. Was the girl insane?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
In Isengard, Saruman sat with his palantir before him, watching in malignant amusement as I grabbed Frodo's right hand in my left, and went down on one knee, right arms stretched out before me as I belted out that song from "Moulin Rouge." The one that goes:
"There was a boy.
A very strange enchanted boy…"
Yeah. That one.
He watched as Jessica tried to tie Legolas's hair into a knot, as she stole Gandalf's staff again, and as she pestered anyone and everyone with questions about Caradhras.
"They think to take those maidens to Caradhras?" he sneered to himself. "The fools. They'll never make it. Especially if one of the girls has…a misfortune."
He was looking at me.
"Ulfwush!" He called out, and an Orc presented herself (yes, there are female Orcs) before him.
"Wait until they are off Caradhras, capture the singing girl, and bring her here. I have seen her before. She does not fight."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"And while we talked of many things/fools and kings/this he said to me:/ the greatest thing/you'll ever learn/is just to love/ and be loved/ in…re...tuuuuurrrrrrrn!"
I sang dramatically, letting go of Frodo and toppling over in the grass.
"There are plenty of fools here," Gandalf grumbled good- naturedly, snatching his staff back from Jessica.
"Come on, girl, let's get going! The mountain is not far."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Jessica, what's going to happen on Caradhras? Saruman's got it in for me at Moria…