Before you read I want to give a huge hug to all my reviewers! Thanks a
million, especially to Altra Palantir, who must be the most active reader
and reviewer on the site - all us Voyager writers thank you! :)
Today is Tuvok's turn. If you like him, turn back...don't say I didn't warn you!
=/\=
Mortimer Harren's Personal Log, stardate 57312.1
Tuvok has confined me to quarters for one day for calling Commander Chakotay "Commander Le Pew." It's not like he got the joke, until stupid Lieutenant Paris said "Hey, wasn't Peppy Le Pew a twentieth century cartoon skunk?"
Of course, that got the entire bridge crew roaring, especially old Bun O' Steel, who's already pissed enough at him for his new found love. Really, I love her intellect, I can hear him saying. Sure, Chackers. Just like we like Pamela Anderson for her acting ability. Tuvok was unimpressed, however, along with Seven. He got that throbbing artery in the side of his neck, though. Has anyone noticed how un-Vulcan Tuvok is? I mean, like that time he went off the deep end after having a mind meld with Suder? Or what about that time he spazzed on the Captain and said she disgusted him - JOIN THE CLUB. Or the way he went out of his way to piss off Neelix? I heard that once he even had a holoprogram where he could KILL Neelix. Kill Neelix is something I've espoused for a long time. But for a Vulcan to join in? There's really no logic to murdering the half-cat, half-Teletubby creature. It's just personal satisfaction...
Have you noticed that Tuvok, with all his Vulcan super intellect, doesn't ever seem to have any good ideas? He used to be interesting, before Kes made a long walk off a short plank (she knew enough to leave when she got the chance), as Tuvok the Teacher. But lately he's gotten almost as bad as Peppy. "Shields up," and "Intruder alert," seem to be the extent of his vocabulary. So much for Vulcan I.Q. Even Harry gets better ideas than he does.
That whole thing about the Vulcan pon farr really got to me, too. When Vorik had his little sex crazed stage of his own, his options were A) die B) get laid C) kill someone. Now, apparently pon farr gets stronger as you age. So why is it that Vorik wasn't able to have his fun with a hologram, but Tuvok was. As Mr. Vulcan himself would say, it is illogical.
Want to know what I think? I think he's not a Vulcan at all. Remember, he was a spy for the Maquis. He obviously doesn't give a damn about betraying people who have befriended him. Who's to say he's not actually a Romulan double agent (or the like), one of the Tal Shiar on Voyager. I mean, look at Seska! It's possible. Then again, maybe I've had one too many shots of Romulan Ale...
=/\=
There you go! I thought of this one because of a wonderful review I got, thanks so much! And by the way, if my fanfiction looks a bit weird, it's because my formatting doesn't seem to be working lately...sorry!
Today is Tuvok's turn. If you like him, turn back...don't say I didn't warn you!
=/\=
Mortimer Harren's Personal Log, stardate 57312.1
Tuvok has confined me to quarters for one day for calling Commander Chakotay "Commander Le Pew." It's not like he got the joke, until stupid Lieutenant Paris said "Hey, wasn't Peppy Le Pew a twentieth century cartoon skunk?"
Of course, that got the entire bridge crew roaring, especially old Bun O' Steel, who's already pissed enough at him for his new found love. Really, I love her intellect, I can hear him saying. Sure, Chackers. Just like we like Pamela Anderson for her acting ability. Tuvok was unimpressed, however, along with Seven. He got that throbbing artery in the side of his neck, though. Has anyone noticed how un-Vulcan Tuvok is? I mean, like that time he went off the deep end after having a mind meld with Suder? Or what about that time he spazzed on the Captain and said she disgusted him - JOIN THE CLUB. Or the way he went out of his way to piss off Neelix? I heard that once he even had a holoprogram where he could KILL Neelix. Kill Neelix is something I've espoused for a long time. But for a Vulcan to join in? There's really no logic to murdering the half-cat, half-Teletubby creature. It's just personal satisfaction...
Have you noticed that Tuvok, with all his Vulcan super intellect, doesn't ever seem to have any good ideas? He used to be interesting, before Kes made a long walk off a short plank (she knew enough to leave when she got the chance), as Tuvok the Teacher. But lately he's gotten almost as bad as Peppy. "Shields up," and "Intruder alert," seem to be the extent of his vocabulary. So much for Vulcan I.Q. Even Harry gets better ideas than he does.
That whole thing about the Vulcan pon farr really got to me, too. When Vorik had his little sex crazed stage of his own, his options were A) die B) get laid C) kill someone. Now, apparently pon farr gets stronger as you age. So why is it that Vorik wasn't able to have his fun with a hologram, but Tuvok was. As Mr. Vulcan himself would say, it is illogical.
Want to know what I think? I think he's not a Vulcan at all. Remember, he was a spy for the Maquis. He obviously doesn't give a damn about betraying people who have befriended him. Who's to say he's not actually a Romulan double agent (or the like), one of the Tal Shiar on Voyager. I mean, look at Seska! It's possible. Then again, maybe I've had one too many shots of Romulan Ale...
=/\=
There you go! I thought of this one because of a wonderful review I got, thanks so much! And by the way, if my fanfiction looks a bit weird, it's because my formatting doesn't seem to be working lately...sorry!