TITLE: How to Find a Mate in Less than Thirty Days [4/?]
AUTHOR: Samantha [kali_neba@hotmail.com]
RATING/CONTENT: PG-13, Sirius/Remus, some James/Lily, minor language, very minor mentions of sexual situations
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. JK Rowling owns the lot of them.
Through this world I've stumbled
so many times betrayed
trying to find an honest word
to find the truth enslaved
Oh you speak to me in riddles and
you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
you words keep me alive
-- "Possession," by Sarah McLachlan
Remus shivered slightly, pulling his cloak tighter around him as he walked across the Quidditch pitch, heading towards the Gryffindor stands. He tried to think of something, anything, like the fact that he really should be heading towards the Hufflepuff common room to meet Rebecca, or like the fact that it had rained sometime while he and James had been in the Shrieking Shack.
The Shrieking Shack. Remus sighed, stepping up into the stands, dropping down onto one of the benches, and burying his head in his hands. Once again, Remus tried to get his mind of the revelations he'd just heard, trying to remember the twelve uses of Dragon's blood in potions, but his ploy didn't work, his thoughts returning Sirius.
"Damn it," he muttered, rubbing his hands against his eyes.
"You know, I'm usually the one who comes here to think," a voice commented, causing Remus to start and whirl around. James leaned against the back railing, smiling sadly.
"No one would think to look for me here," Remus replied, turning back to the field. He considered for a moment, glancing at James. "Or, at least, I thought so."
"I took a lucky guess. Figured you wouldn't go back to the Tower, and we've already missed the majority of classes this afternoon." James walked down the aisle and sat down next to Remus. He was silent for a moment, studying the side of Remus's face as the other boy refused to look at him. "You want to tell me what happened back there?" James asked softly.
"What do you want to know?" Remus asked, closing his eyes and waiting.
"Dying? I mean, that can't...I couldn't have heard that right," James said.
"You heard right." Remus sighed again, opening his eyes and staring up at the storm clouds above them. "Dumbledore informed me of that fact last night." He chuckled suddenly surprised at how calm he sounded.
"Oh," James muttered, slumping down on the bench, leaning forward and propping his head up with his hands. "Does this have anything to do with what Sirius...?"
"Possibly. I-I don't know, James. I just don't know." Remus hissed through his teeth as pain flared suddenly in the back of his skull. He clutched at his forehead.
"Remus?" James said, concern saturating his voice as he placed a hand on Remus's shoulder.
"I'm fine. Just a...headache. If I feel like falling unconscious, I'll let you know," he replied, the pain lessening slightly to only a dull throb. "I'm not sure how to deal with this. I'm really not. I have a bomb in my body ready to go off if I don't find someone to spend the rest of my life with, and really, how do you bring that up? 'Hello, I'm a werewolf. Mate with me?'"
"Well, I suppose that's one way of approaching it," James replied, smiling slightly.
"And now Sirius says that he...," Remus began, trailing off.
"Loves you?" James offered helpfully.
"*Thinks* he loves me," Remus corrected absently. "He can't possibly...He can't actually have these feelings. The Sirius I know and being in love with me don't mesh." James sighed, glancing up at the sky.
"Do you remember last year, before Lily and I were together? Do you remember the way you and Sirius kept pointing out how I was acting? Attempting to date everyone she knew just to get her attention?" Remus nodded, watching James with narrowed eyes, trying to follow his train of thought. "Well, that's exactly what Sirius has been doing." James sighed, clenching his teeth, as if trying to find the words to explain. "I didn't notice before, but after hearing what he felt, it makes sense, really."
"No, James, it doesn't. It really doesn't."
"Actually, Moony, it really does. Do you realize that during the summer, he's almost a completely different person? Not quite as...spastic?" James laughed. "I never really noticed before, but you're all he talks about."
"It can't be, James. You're not understanding me, Sirius Black cannot be in love with me."
"And why not?"
"It just...it just can't."
"Right. Your brilliant logic has ruined any argument I could have ever hoped to make," James replied, raising an eyebrow at Remus, who in turn shook his head refusing to meet James's eyes. James took a breath, grinning. "So, how do you feel about Sirius?"
"He's my best friend," Remus replied automatically. "And I'm thoroughly confused about anything beyond that."
"You do realize that you're now Lily's pet project, right?" Remus gave a long-suffering sigh.
"I figured."
"I've got practice in a few minutes. I should go suit up," James commented, walking back towards the steps. He stopped though and turned back to Remus. "Tell me one thing though." Remus glanced up at James. "If you're not in love with Sirius, then why are you sitting up here brooding about him when there's a Hufflepuff on campus waiting for her picnic?"
Remus rolled his eyes and growled softly. "Fuck you, Potter."
"Language, Moony." James's grin widened. "You've been around Sirius too much." He wiggled his eyebrows at the werewolf, then turned and sprinted for the stairs.
"I hate my friends. I really do," he sighed, catching sight of the Gryffindor Quidditch team making its way towards the locker rooms. He rose from his seat and began heading back towards the castle. As he was crossing the courtyard, attempting to find some excuse to give to Rebecca, a hand clamped down on his shoulder. Remus automatically dropped his shoulder down, twisting out of the grasp.
"Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore greeted with a smile.
"Headmaster, sir" Remus replied, suddenly embarrassed by his unconscious attempt to escape. "I didn't realize it was you." Dumbledore merely smiled, holding up a hand to silence his apology.
"I was just about to have some tea. Would you like to accompany me?" Dumbledore offered, and Remus glanced over his shoulder in the direction of the Hufflepuff portion of the castle.
"I need to...Rebecca and I had a date," Remus said, "And with the...the illness, I should...." Again, Dumbledore raised a hand to quiet him.
"I believe Miss Evans has already been by to see Rebecca," Dumbledore replied, "She explained everything, I believe."
"Everything?" Remus asked, swallowing heavily.
"Well, no, of course not everything," Dumbledore smiled. "Some secrets are best left between friends."
"Right," Remus breathed as Dumbledore placed a hand on Remus's shoulder, leading him towards the front doors. As they entered, Remus scanned the crowd, catching sight of Lily's red hair as she leaned against James and next to them, staring at the floor, pointedly not looking at the couple next to him was....
"Sirius," Remus said, his breath catching slightly as the object of his attention suddenly looked up and caught his eyes from across the room. Dumbledore stopped walking, looking between the two boys, and smiled.
"Hmmm, perhaps that tea and our conversation can wait, yes?" Dumbledore stated, turning around. "Good day, Mr. Lupin," he stated before heading down the corridor in the opposite direction with a swish of his robes. Remus barely registered the Headmaster's departure as he watched Sirius head down the corridor towards him. He swallowed and stepped forward to meet his friend.
"Remus," Sirius greeted, looking down at the floor. "Look, I'm sorry about earlier. Running out on you and all. I just...."
"I know, Padfoot," Remus stated softly. Sirius's gaze flew up, and he finally met Remus's eyes. "I was there." He took a deep breath. "In the Shrieking Shack."
"Oh," Sirius breathed, glancing back down at the floor. "We need to talk," he said at last, still refusing to look up.
"Yes, I suppose we do," Remus replied, his voice sounding detached to his own ears.
"Remus, I--"
"Not here, Sirius," Remus stated, turning and heading towards the stairwell that would lead the two of them back to Gryffindor Tower. Remus attempted to formulate some kind of response to Sirius as the pair mounted the stairs, but he soon found himself easily distracted by Sirius's close proximity. He swallowed heavily trying to ignore the body behind him, focusing on the landing leading to the tower. The pair remained in silence as they reached the landing and stalked down the corridor towards the Fat Lady. Remus muttered the password and strode into the common room as the portrait swung open.
The portrait swung shut behind Sirius, and the two stood facing each other. Before Remus could open his mouth, Sirius suddenly covered the distance between them, burying his hands in Remus's hair and pulling Remus towards him. Their lips meet, and Remus stiffened slightly at the first contact, prepared to force Sirius away. But as Sirius's blunt teeth nipped at his lower lip, Remus felt his resolve give way and he brought his hands down to Sirius's hips, lacing his fingers into the belt loops of the Muggle jeans and tugging him closer.
A small part of his mind wondered, briefly, at what he was doing, reminding himself that he really should be focused on finding a mate and not on snogging on the common room with Sirius, but another part of his mind, one Remus subconsciously recognized as the wolf, merely wondered why he was bothering to fight this. As Sirius deepened the kiss, his tongue flickering across Remus's lips, Remus silenced the first voice, opening his mouth and bringing his own hands up to intertwine in Sirius's hair.
Reluctantly, Sirius pulled away studying his friend's face closely.
"I'm sorry, Moony," he whispered. "I wanted to do that before you told me stay away from you." Remus stared at him in silence, licking his lips slightly, tasting Sirius's mouth still.
"It was...nice," Remus whispered, "But a mistake." Sirius dropped his eyes, stepping further away.
"Right. I'll be going then," Sirius replied, turning towards the portrait hole.
"Don't," Remus blurted before he could stop himself.
"You don't want me here," Sirius replied, not turning to face him.
"I never said that," Remus muttered, surprised at the surge of emotions dancing through him at the thought of Sirius leaving. His heart pounded in his chest as he watched Sirius turn slightly to him. "This...this whole thing has me confused. I don't know what's going on."
"I love you," Sirius stated softly, soft enough that Remus had to struggle to hear him. Remus opened his mouth, the natural reply on his lips. But before he could tell Sirius, he stopped himself, and clenched his teeth, biting the reply back. Sirius glanced at Remus, nodded, and pushed the portrait open. Then he stepped into the corridor, and Remus slumped against the wall as he disappeared form sight.
"Oh, no, not complicated at all," Remus muttered holding his head in his hands.
---------------
Continued....
AUTHOR: Samantha [kali_neba@hotmail.com]
RATING/CONTENT: PG-13, Sirius/Remus, some James/Lily, minor language, very minor mentions of sexual situations
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. JK Rowling owns the lot of them.
Through this world I've stumbled
so many times betrayed
trying to find an honest word
to find the truth enslaved
Oh you speak to me in riddles and
you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
you words keep me alive
-- "Possession," by Sarah McLachlan
Remus shivered slightly, pulling his cloak tighter around him as he walked across the Quidditch pitch, heading towards the Gryffindor stands. He tried to think of something, anything, like the fact that he really should be heading towards the Hufflepuff common room to meet Rebecca, or like the fact that it had rained sometime while he and James had been in the Shrieking Shack.
The Shrieking Shack. Remus sighed, stepping up into the stands, dropping down onto one of the benches, and burying his head in his hands. Once again, Remus tried to get his mind of the revelations he'd just heard, trying to remember the twelve uses of Dragon's blood in potions, but his ploy didn't work, his thoughts returning Sirius.
"Damn it," he muttered, rubbing his hands against his eyes.
"You know, I'm usually the one who comes here to think," a voice commented, causing Remus to start and whirl around. James leaned against the back railing, smiling sadly.
"No one would think to look for me here," Remus replied, turning back to the field. He considered for a moment, glancing at James. "Or, at least, I thought so."
"I took a lucky guess. Figured you wouldn't go back to the Tower, and we've already missed the majority of classes this afternoon." James walked down the aisle and sat down next to Remus. He was silent for a moment, studying the side of Remus's face as the other boy refused to look at him. "You want to tell me what happened back there?" James asked softly.
"What do you want to know?" Remus asked, closing his eyes and waiting.
"Dying? I mean, that can't...I couldn't have heard that right," James said.
"You heard right." Remus sighed again, opening his eyes and staring up at the storm clouds above them. "Dumbledore informed me of that fact last night." He chuckled suddenly surprised at how calm he sounded.
"Oh," James muttered, slumping down on the bench, leaning forward and propping his head up with his hands. "Does this have anything to do with what Sirius...?"
"Possibly. I-I don't know, James. I just don't know." Remus hissed through his teeth as pain flared suddenly in the back of his skull. He clutched at his forehead.
"Remus?" James said, concern saturating his voice as he placed a hand on Remus's shoulder.
"I'm fine. Just a...headache. If I feel like falling unconscious, I'll let you know," he replied, the pain lessening slightly to only a dull throb. "I'm not sure how to deal with this. I'm really not. I have a bomb in my body ready to go off if I don't find someone to spend the rest of my life with, and really, how do you bring that up? 'Hello, I'm a werewolf. Mate with me?'"
"Well, I suppose that's one way of approaching it," James replied, smiling slightly.
"And now Sirius says that he...," Remus began, trailing off.
"Loves you?" James offered helpfully.
"*Thinks* he loves me," Remus corrected absently. "He can't possibly...He can't actually have these feelings. The Sirius I know and being in love with me don't mesh." James sighed, glancing up at the sky.
"Do you remember last year, before Lily and I were together? Do you remember the way you and Sirius kept pointing out how I was acting? Attempting to date everyone she knew just to get her attention?" Remus nodded, watching James with narrowed eyes, trying to follow his train of thought. "Well, that's exactly what Sirius has been doing." James sighed, clenching his teeth, as if trying to find the words to explain. "I didn't notice before, but after hearing what he felt, it makes sense, really."
"No, James, it doesn't. It really doesn't."
"Actually, Moony, it really does. Do you realize that during the summer, he's almost a completely different person? Not quite as...spastic?" James laughed. "I never really noticed before, but you're all he talks about."
"It can't be, James. You're not understanding me, Sirius Black cannot be in love with me."
"And why not?"
"It just...it just can't."
"Right. Your brilliant logic has ruined any argument I could have ever hoped to make," James replied, raising an eyebrow at Remus, who in turn shook his head refusing to meet James's eyes. James took a breath, grinning. "So, how do you feel about Sirius?"
"He's my best friend," Remus replied automatically. "And I'm thoroughly confused about anything beyond that."
"You do realize that you're now Lily's pet project, right?" Remus gave a long-suffering sigh.
"I figured."
"I've got practice in a few minutes. I should go suit up," James commented, walking back towards the steps. He stopped though and turned back to Remus. "Tell me one thing though." Remus glanced up at James. "If you're not in love with Sirius, then why are you sitting up here brooding about him when there's a Hufflepuff on campus waiting for her picnic?"
Remus rolled his eyes and growled softly. "Fuck you, Potter."
"Language, Moony." James's grin widened. "You've been around Sirius too much." He wiggled his eyebrows at the werewolf, then turned and sprinted for the stairs.
"I hate my friends. I really do," he sighed, catching sight of the Gryffindor Quidditch team making its way towards the locker rooms. He rose from his seat and began heading back towards the castle. As he was crossing the courtyard, attempting to find some excuse to give to Rebecca, a hand clamped down on his shoulder. Remus automatically dropped his shoulder down, twisting out of the grasp.
"Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore greeted with a smile.
"Headmaster, sir" Remus replied, suddenly embarrassed by his unconscious attempt to escape. "I didn't realize it was you." Dumbledore merely smiled, holding up a hand to silence his apology.
"I was just about to have some tea. Would you like to accompany me?" Dumbledore offered, and Remus glanced over his shoulder in the direction of the Hufflepuff portion of the castle.
"I need to...Rebecca and I had a date," Remus said, "And with the...the illness, I should...." Again, Dumbledore raised a hand to quiet him.
"I believe Miss Evans has already been by to see Rebecca," Dumbledore replied, "She explained everything, I believe."
"Everything?" Remus asked, swallowing heavily.
"Well, no, of course not everything," Dumbledore smiled. "Some secrets are best left between friends."
"Right," Remus breathed as Dumbledore placed a hand on Remus's shoulder, leading him towards the front doors. As they entered, Remus scanned the crowd, catching sight of Lily's red hair as she leaned against James and next to them, staring at the floor, pointedly not looking at the couple next to him was....
"Sirius," Remus said, his breath catching slightly as the object of his attention suddenly looked up and caught his eyes from across the room. Dumbledore stopped walking, looking between the two boys, and smiled.
"Hmmm, perhaps that tea and our conversation can wait, yes?" Dumbledore stated, turning around. "Good day, Mr. Lupin," he stated before heading down the corridor in the opposite direction with a swish of his robes. Remus barely registered the Headmaster's departure as he watched Sirius head down the corridor towards him. He swallowed and stepped forward to meet his friend.
"Remus," Sirius greeted, looking down at the floor. "Look, I'm sorry about earlier. Running out on you and all. I just...."
"I know, Padfoot," Remus stated softly. Sirius's gaze flew up, and he finally met Remus's eyes. "I was there." He took a deep breath. "In the Shrieking Shack."
"Oh," Sirius breathed, glancing back down at the floor. "We need to talk," he said at last, still refusing to look up.
"Yes, I suppose we do," Remus replied, his voice sounding detached to his own ears.
"Remus, I--"
"Not here, Sirius," Remus stated, turning and heading towards the stairwell that would lead the two of them back to Gryffindor Tower. Remus attempted to formulate some kind of response to Sirius as the pair mounted the stairs, but he soon found himself easily distracted by Sirius's close proximity. He swallowed heavily trying to ignore the body behind him, focusing on the landing leading to the tower. The pair remained in silence as they reached the landing and stalked down the corridor towards the Fat Lady. Remus muttered the password and strode into the common room as the portrait swung open.
The portrait swung shut behind Sirius, and the two stood facing each other. Before Remus could open his mouth, Sirius suddenly covered the distance between them, burying his hands in Remus's hair and pulling Remus towards him. Their lips meet, and Remus stiffened slightly at the first contact, prepared to force Sirius away. But as Sirius's blunt teeth nipped at his lower lip, Remus felt his resolve give way and he brought his hands down to Sirius's hips, lacing his fingers into the belt loops of the Muggle jeans and tugging him closer.
A small part of his mind wondered, briefly, at what he was doing, reminding himself that he really should be focused on finding a mate and not on snogging on the common room with Sirius, but another part of his mind, one Remus subconsciously recognized as the wolf, merely wondered why he was bothering to fight this. As Sirius deepened the kiss, his tongue flickering across Remus's lips, Remus silenced the first voice, opening his mouth and bringing his own hands up to intertwine in Sirius's hair.
Reluctantly, Sirius pulled away studying his friend's face closely.
"I'm sorry, Moony," he whispered. "I wanted to do that before you told me stay away from you." Remus stared at him in silence, licking his lips slightly, tasting Sirius's mouth still.
"It was...nice," Remus whispered, "But a mistake." Sirius dropped his eyes, stepping further away.
"Right. I'll be going then," Sirius replied, turning towards the portrait hole.
"Don't," Remus blurted before he could stop himself.
"You don't want me here," Sirius replied, not turning to face him.
"I never said that," Remus muttered, surprised at the surge of emotions dancing through him at the thought of Sirius leaving. His heart pounded in his chest as he watched Sirius turn slightly to him. "This...this whole thing has me confused. I don't know what's going on."
"I love you," Sirius stated softly, soft enough that Remus had to struggle to hear him. Remus opened his mouth, the natural reply on his lips. But before he could tell Sirius, he stopped himself, and clenched his teeth, biting the reply back. Sirius glanced at Remus, nodded, and pushed the portrait open. Then he stepped into the corridor, and Remus slumped against the wall as he disappeared form sight.
"Oh, no, not complicated at all," Remus muttered holding his head in his hands.
---------------
Continued....