TITLE: How to Find a Mate in Less than Thirty Days [5/5]
AUTHOR: Samantha [kali_neba@hotmail.com]
RATING/CONTENT: PG-13, Sirius/Remus, some James/Lily, minor language, very minor mentions of sexual situations
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. JK Rowling owns the lot of them.
Oh and every time I'm close to you
there's too much I can't say
and you just walk away
I grieve in my condition
for I cannot find the strength
to say I need you so
-- "I Love You," by Sarah McLachlan
Remus opted not to return to the Great Hall, leaving the common room after the portrait swung shut behind Sirius and heading for the boys' dorm. He stepped in the dorm, his hand playing absently across his lips, and noted gratefully that the dorm was empty, Peter apparently venturing outside of the Tower finally.
"Couldn't leave well enough alone, could you, Sirius?" Remus muttered, sitting on the edge of the bed. He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes as tears stung at the back of his eyes. "I don't love you. I don't." Even to his own ears Remus's voice sounded petulant, and he knew, then, that he was merely trying to talk himself out of running after his friend. He sighed, toeing off his shoes as he slid back onto his bed, drawing the curtain closed.
He screwed his eyes shut as he curled up, trying to banish any thought of Sirius from his mind. He failed, though, and as the stress of the day and the lack of sleep the night before finally caught up to him, the last thing he thought of before surrendering to sleep was his friend's blue eyes radiating both love and desire.
Hours later, Remus jolted awake as pain sliced through his body. He whimpered softly, curling into a tighter ball, his arms wrapped around himself. His breath came in short, shallow gasps, and a part of him realized that he was in danger of hyperventilating. As the pain began to spread, he recognized it -- the same pain as the previous night. Not as sharp though, he noted, his mind detached from the pain, as he buried his face in the pillow, willing it to stop.
"Please, not now," he hissed, pain throbbing through his head, hard enough that he had to force his eyes shut and muffle a scream into the pillow. "Not now. No, please, no."
"Lumos," a voice whispered as Remus's curtains parted. He flinched away from the sudden brightness, and the same voice muttered, "Nox." The light disappeared, but Remus kept whimpering as the pain spasmed through his body again. "Remus? Gods," the voice breathed, and warm callused hands touched his face. As the fingertips barely brushed Remus's cheeks, the pain stopped suddenly, leaving Remus gasping for air. Remus removed his hands from his own shoulders and grasped the hand touching his face. His eyes fluttered open.
"Sirius?" he muttered, barely able to make out his friend's lean form in the darkness.
"Yeah," Sirius replied, softly, and Remus felt the bed shift slightly as Sirius sat down. "You okay?"
"Surprisingly?" Remus replied, his voice hoarse and his mouth dry, "Yes." He studied the hand he held in his, an idea suddenly dawning on him. He laughed suddenly, and he felt Sirius start beside him. "That would be appropriate, wouldn't it?" he muttered. He closed his eyes, preparing, and then released Sirius's hand. Immediately, the pain slammed back into his body, causing Remus to double up again.
"Remus!" Sirius exclaimed, grabbing the other boy's shoulders and pulling Remus to him. Remus clutched at Sirius's shirt as the pain stopped, his forehead pressed against Sirius's neck.
"Contact, Padfoot," he muttered, "The pain stops with skin contact."
"Oh," Sirius replied softly, his breath ruffling Remus's hair slightly and sending shivers down Remus's spine. "Then I'm not leaving."
"You don't have to stay," Remus whispered, mentally chastising himself for even giving Sirius a chance to leave.
"I'm not leaving you, not when the other option is you spending the night in pain." Remus felt Sirius grin into his hair. "Not like I'm hating it, either." Remus smiled slightly in reply, rapidly finding himself becoming lost in Sirius's embrace. Sirius leaned back against one of the bedposts at the end of the bed, pulling Remus to his chest and holding him there as he pulled the curtain shut behind them.
"Sirius--"
"Hush," Sirius breathed, "You can kick me out of here in the morning. Just please....please let me help." Silence descended on the pair, Remus curled up in Sirius's embrace with Sirius's hands smoothing Remus's hair in a comforting gesture. "I've been in love with you since last year," Sirius finally muttered, causing Remus to glance up at him. "You seem to think that this is some kind of crush o-or desperation, and I need...you need to know that it's not."
"Sirius...," Remus began, but Sirius's hands forced him back down on his chest.
"Not finished," he admonished, but Remus could hear the smile in his words. "You forgave me for that incident with Snape. You shouldn't have. I certainly didn't deserve it. Didn't deserve to even be breathing the same air as you, let alone have you look at me with anything but loathing." He sighed; the hand that had been smoothing Remus's hair strayed down to his neck, tracing small circles around the nape. Remus shivered slightly, and Sirius let out a soft moan as Remus shifted closer.
"I don't know why I did what I did, and I know we haven't really talked about what happened. You just...accepted me." He took a deep breath. "I was jealous of Snape. You were only tutoring him in Transfiguration at McGonagall's request. I know that. I *knew* that. But I just...I'd see you two huddled in the library, and I'd just react." He was silent, and Remus rose up slightly to turn at study him.
"I'm sorry, Moony. I should have thought before I did anything then," Sirius stated, studying Remus with hooded eyes. "I shouldn't--" Sirius's next thought was silenced by Remus's hand on his lips.
"Quiet, Padfoot," Remus said softly, rolling over until he was face to face with Sirius. He braced himself with one arm while reaching up to cup Sirius's face. "Just...be quiet." With that he leaned forward and met Sirius's mouth.
The kiss was awkward at first, Sirius being unresponsive in surprise, but as Sirius relaxed and pulled Remus closer, the kiss deepened, teeth tugging at each other's lips. Remus's hand moved up into Sirius's hair, pulling slightly, earning him a growl in response. As Sirius prodded Remus's lips apart, Remus moved up, straddling Sirius's legs. Sirius hands found the hem of Remus's shirt, pushing it up and touching the warm flesh of his back. Remus broke away from Sirius with a moan.
"Moony?" Sirius asked, panting, his hands not leaving Remus's back. "Remus?"
"We can't do this," Remus whispered, more to himself than to Sirius.
"Why?"
"I don't want...you can't possibly want to be bound to me for life, Padfoot. For *life*," Remus stressed.
"You think I haven't thought about it? Right now, just being here with you is enough, Remus. Moony, the thought of spending the next fifty years with you, that...that makes me happier than I have been in a very long time," Sirius replied, reaching up and stroking Remus's cheek and brushing a bit of hair out of his face.
"You know, when I heard you and Lily in the Shrieking Shack, I didn't know what to think. It wasn't that I didn't have feelings for you. I mean, I think that I haven't thought of you as just a friend in a while, but I couldn't comprehend that you would feel anything towards me. You'd dated half of the female population of Ravenclaw by the end of our fourth year," Remus stated, smiling slightly, "I didn't think...."
"Well, James used to say that I wasn't one for limiting my options," Sirius replied with a grin, but he sobered as he ran his thumb lightly over Remus's cheekbone. "But it's only been you for a very long time now," he said.
"I love you," Remus whispered, leaning forward and claiming Sirius's mouth again.
"Moony?" Sirius said, pulling back and studying his face.
"I don't know when I fell in love with you. I don't know for how long, but I do know that when you kissed me this evening, it felt right. It felt like the only time that the wolf and the human in me were in almost perfect synch," Remus stated, smiling. "Sirius? Are you really okay with this?"
"Yes," Sirius said, moving his hands up Remus's back, causing Remus to shift his hips forward slightly as he arched his back. "Oh, yes," he moaned as Remus leaned forward again.
"I'm not sure how this is supposed to work," Remus stated, suddenly, causing Sirius to raise an eyebrow. "I know how that works," he replied, "But I don't...I'm not entirely sure how the whole mating thing works."
"Oh. Maybe you just have to, um, claim me?" Sirius replied with a smirk. Remus blinked, considering. Then he grinned and leaned forward, lightly touching Sirius's lips.
"Mine," he breathed, and he felt Sirius smile.
"Yours," Sirius replied. Then, Remus's balance shifted suddenly and he found himself tumbling over with Sirius on top of him. Sirius pinned Remus arms above his head and smirked triumphantly. He leaned down, his nose touching the tip of Remus's nose. "Mine?" Remus nodded as Sirius inclined his head and kissed the hollow of Remus's throat. He trailed his tongue across Remus's collarbone, his eyes never leaving Remus's. "Mine," he growled, tugging Remus's t-shirt over his head.
"Yours, Padfoot," Remus muttered as he arched his back, Sirius's hand trailing down Remus's stomach, and his breath hitched as Sirius's hand lightly caressed Remus's growing hardness.
"I love you, Moony," Sirius whispered.
"I love you, too."
-------------------------
Continued in epilogue......
AUTHOR: Samantha [kali_neba@hotmail.com]
RATING/CONTENT: PG-13, Sirius/Remus, some James/Lily, minor language, very minor mentions of sexual situations
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. JK Rowling owns the lot of them.
Oh and every time I'm close to you
there's too much I can't say
and you just walk away
I grieve in my condition
for I cannot find the strength
to say I need you so
-- "I Love You," by Sarah McLachlan
Remus opted not to return to the Great Hall, leaving the common room after the portrait swung shut behind Sirius and heading for the boys' dorm. He stepped in the dorm, his hand playing absently across his lips, and noted gratefully that the dorm was empty, Peter apparently venturing outside of the Tower finally.
"Couldn't leave well enough alone, could you, Sirius?" Remus muttered, sitting on the edge of the bed. He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes as tears stung at the back of his eyes. "I don't love you. I don't." Even to his own ears Remus's voice sounded petulant, and he knew, then, that he was merely trying to talk himself out of running after his friend. He sighed, toeing off his shoes as he slid back onto his bed, drawing the curtain closed.
He screwed his eyes shut as he curled up, trying to banish any thought of Sirius from his mind. He failed, though, and as the stress of the day and the lack of sleep the night before finally caught up to him, the last thing he thought of before surrendering to sleep was his friend's blue eyes radiating both love and desire.
Hours later, Remus jolted awake as pain sliced through his body. He whimpered softly, curling into a tighter ball, his arms wrapped around himself. His breath came in short, shallow gasps, and a part of him realized that he was in danger of hyperventilating. As the pain began to spread, he recognized it -- the same pain as the previous night. Not as sharp though, he noted, his mind detached from the pain, as he buried his face in the pillow, willing it to stop.
"Please, not now," he hissed, pain throbbing through his head, hard enough that he had to force his eyes shut and muffle a scream into the pillow. "Not now. No, please, no."
"Lumos," a voice whispered as Remus's curtains parted. He flinched away from the sudden brightness, and the same voice muttered, "Nox." The light disappeared, but Remus kept whimpering as the pain spasmed through his body again. "Remus? Gods," the voice breathed, and warm callused hands touched his face. As the fingertips barely brushed Remus's cheeks, the pain stopped suddenly, leaving Remus gasping for air. Remus removed his hands from his own shoulders and grasped the hand touching his face. His eyes fluttered open.
"Sirius?" he muttered, barely able to make out his friend's lean form in the darkness.
"Yeah," Sirius replied, softly, and Remus felt the bed shift slightly as Sirius sat down. "You okay?"
"Surprisingly?" Remus replied, his voice hoarse and his mouth dry, "Yes." He studied the hand he held in his, an idea suddenly dawning on him. He laughed suddenly, and he felt Sirius start beside him. "That would be appropriate, wouldn't it?" he muttered. He closed his eyes, preparing, and then released Sirius's hand. Immediately, the pain slammed back into his body, causing Remus to double up again.
"Remus!" Sirius exclaimed, grabbing the other boy's shoulders and pulling Remus to him. Remus clutched at Sirius's shirt as the pain stopped, his forehead pressed against Sirius's neck.
"Contact, Padfoot," he muttered, "The pain stops with skin contact."
"Oh," Sirius replied softly, his breath ruffling Remus's hair slightly and sending shivers down Remus's spine. "Then I'm not leaving."
"You don't have to stay," Remus whispered, mentally chastising himself for even giving Sirius a chance to leave.
"I'm not leaving you, not when the other option is you spending the night in pain." Remus felt Sirius grin into his hair. "Not like I'm hating it, either." Remus smiled slightly in reply, rapidly finding himself becoming lost in Sirius's embrace. Sirius leaned back against one of the bedposts at the end of the bed, pulling Remus to his chest and holding him there as he pulled the curtain shut behind them.
"Sirius--"
"Hush," Sirius breathed, "You can kick me out of here in the morning. Just please....please let me help." Silence descended on the pair, Remus curled up in Sirius's embrace with Sirius's hands smoothing Remus's hair in a comforting gesture. "I've been in love with you since last year," Sirius finally muttered, causing Remus to glance up at him. "You seem to think that this is some kind of crush o-or desperation, and I need...you need to know that it's not."
"Sirius...," Remus began, but Sirius's hands forced him back down on his chest.
"Not finished," he admonished, but Remus could hear the smile in his words. "You forgave me for that incident with Snape. You shouldn't have. I certainly didn't deserve it. Didn't deserve to even be breathing the same air as you, let alone have you look at me with anything but loathing." He sighed; the hand that had been smoothing Remus's hair strayed down to his neck, tracing small circles around the nape. Remus shivered slightly, and Sirius let out a soft moan as Remus shifted closer.
"I don't know why I did what I did, and I know we haven't really talked about what happened. You just...accepted me." He took a deep breath. "I was jealous of Snape. You were only tutoring him in Transfiguration at McGonagall's request. I know that. I *knew* that. But I just...I'd see you two huddled in the library, and I'd just react." He was silent, and Remus rose up slightly to turn at study him.
"I'm sorry, Moony. I should have thought before I did anything then," Sirius stated, studying Remus with hooded eyes. "I shouldn't--" Sirius's next thought was silenced by Remus's hand on his lips.
"Quiet, Padfoot," Remus said softly, rolling over until he was face to face with Sirius. He braced himself with one arm while reaching up to cup Sirius's face. "Just...be quiet." With that he leaned forward and met Sirius's mouth.
The kiss was awkward at first, Sirius being unresponsive in surprise, but as Sirius relaxed and pulled Remus closer, the kiss deepened, teeth tugging at each other's lips. Remus's hand moved up into Sirius's hair, pulling slightly, earning him a growl in response. As Sirius prodded Remus's lips apart, Remus moved up, straddling Sirius's legs. Sirius hands found the hem of Remus's shirt, pushing it up and touching the warm flesh of his back. Remus broke away from Sirius with a moan.
"Moony?" Sirius asked, panting, his hands not leaving Remus's back. "Remus?"
"We can't do this," Remus whispered, more to himself than to Sirius.
"Why?"
"I don't want...you can't possibly want to be bound to me for life, Padfoot. For *life*," Remus stressed.
"You think I haven't thought about it? Right now, just being here with you is enough, Remus. Moony, the thought of spending the next fifty years with you, that...that makes me happier than I have been in a very long time," Sirius replied, reaching up and stroking Remus's cheek and brushing a bit of hair out of his face.
"You know, when I heard you and Lily in the Shrieking Shack, I didn't know what to think. It wasn't that I didn't have feelings for you. I mean, I think that I haven't thought of you as just a friend in a while, but I couldn't comprehend that you would feel anything towards me. You'd dated half of the female population of Ravenclaw by the end of our fourth year," Remus stated, smiling slightly, "I didn't think...."
"Well, James used to say that I wasn't one for limiting my options," Sirius replied with a grin, but he sobered as he ran his thumb lightly over Remus's cheekbone. "But it's only been you for a very long time now," he said.
"I love you," Remus whispered, leaning forward and claiming Sirius's mouth again.
"Moony?" Sirius said, pulling back and studying his face.
"I don't know when I fell in love with you. I don't know for how long, but I do know that when you kissed me this evening, it felt right. It felt like the only time that the wolf and the human in me were in almost perfect synch," Remus stated, smiling. "Sirius? Are you really okay with this?"
"Yes," Sirius said, moving his hands up Remus's back, causing Remus to shift his hips forward slightly as he arched his back. "Oh, yes," he moaned as Remus leaned forward again.
"I'm not sure how this is supposed to work," Remus stated, suddenly, causing Sirius to raise an eyebrow. "I know how that works," he replied, "But I don't...I'm not entirely sure how the whole mating thing works."
"Oh. Maybe you just have to, um, claim me?" Sirius replied with a smirk. Remus blinked, considering. Then he grinned and leaned forward, lightly touching Sirius's lips.
"Mine," he breathed, and he felt Sirius smile.
"Yours," Sirius replied. Then, Remus's balance shifted suddenly and he found himself tumbling over with Sirius on top of him. Sirius pinned Remus arms above his head and smirked triumphantly. He leaned down, his nose touching the tip of Remus's nose. "Mine?" Remus nodded as Sirius inclined his head and kissed the hollow of Remus's throat. He trailed his tongue across Remus's collarbone, his eyes never leaving Remus's. "Mine," he growled, tugging Remus's t-shirt over his head.
"Yours, Padfoot," Remus muttered as he arched his back, Sirius's hand trailing down Remus's stomach, and his breath hitched as Sirius's hand lightly caressed Remus's growing hardness.
"I love you, Moony," Sirius whispered.
"I love you, too."
-------------------------
Continued in epilogue......