And You I Love

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Location: the Shrine
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Rei was lost in thought as she walked up the steps that led to the shrine. Bad thoughts ran through her head. She had been thinking unhappy things for a while.

The demons were upon her now. As she slid the door to the shrine open, she wondered about what Usagi had said to her. It echoed in her head, You've always been so horrible to me. Sitting down, Rei decided to come to terms with all her thoughts. She lit the fire in the middle of the room, and let her thoughts run...

-- ** --

Ok...I know Usagi didn't mean what she meant- She just wanted tokens. But when she said it, I thought about it. It's true. I have been horrible to Usagi lately...I know why, it's because of that darn dream I've been getting...

The one where Mamoru is promising her he'd find her again when they were reborn.

The dream where Mamoru is telling her that he loves her. And even though it's just a dream, I know that Mamoru really did love Usagi and that Usagi didn't want him to go.

Mamoru gave himself up for something. Usagi wanted to do it, but he did instead. Only Usagi knows what for, but she won't say.

A lot of people thought that when I was with Mamoru I really didn't love him. And you know, I was proud of having a hot boyfriend- I'll admit that. But that, under any circumstances, does not mean I didn't love him. I really did...When I found out he was Usagi's lover in her past life, I really was hurt. I was jealous and I was hurt because, like I've said 10 million times, I loved Mamoru.

I thought that feeling of love for Mamoru had faded, but when the dreams started coming back, I realized that they never faded- my feelings for him had gotten used to being dealt with, that's all. They got used to being hidden. Seeing Mamoru with Usagi did hurt me- But I love Usagi like a sister...I think that losing Usagi as a friend would hurt me more than losing Mamoru did.

It makes me mad, because every now and then I wonder, What has she got that I don't? How come in the end, Mamoru picked her over me? Destiny...that's what. Usagi and Mamoru were destined to be together, and I can't toy with that. I shouldn't want to. But I do.

I'll say that I don't love Mamoru as much as I used to. I don't love Mamoru as much as Usagi does, period. So I guess that alone makes her more worthy of him than me. Yeah, now that I think about it, Usagi is more fit for Mamoru than I am. I'm just not Mamoru's-Girlfriend material.

That day at the arcade, even at the dance on Friday...Usagi beat me to it again. I was immediately attracted to Duo- he's got fantastic hair. But he kept asking questions about Usagi. So that's why I was sour at her at the arcade. I have to say that if Duo and I ever became something, I don't think I would love him- I would just be proud of having a hot boyfriend. Duo and I, from what has passed between us so far, I think we're going to become close. He seems like someone I can talk to. But anyways, he kept asking me stuff about Usagi, and I think he might like her. I wonder if Usagi feels the same way? She didn't really show any signs that she liked any of the pilots more than friends. Usahi did spend a lot of time outside with Trowa, watching the sunset...how romantic...

I need to say something to Usagi- maybe apologize. To all the girls really. I've been rotten to everyone since that vision came. It just awoke all these terrible feelings of bitterness. I'm going to let them go today. All those girls are my family, and they don't deserve to be treated like this. I'm going to meditate now. I need to get away for a minute.

-- ** --

Rei closed her eyes. Slowly and gradually, she felt her spiritual self begin to lift away. And then she saw something.

The vision' came back to her again, and she saw Mamoru telling Usagi that he loved her. But this time, when Mamoru touched her face, Usagi's eyes turned bloodshot, and angry red veins surged all over her body. It's hard to explain, but the Usagi's form turned into blood, and washed away, staining Mamoru's white tux. The red blood on his tux turned black, and it spread until his entire outfit was black.

Mamoru stood tall, and looked in Rei's direction. He let out a laugh, Rei, you've always seen too much.

Lights flashed and Rei saw a small boy. He was singing a song, and it chilled Rei to the bone.

Out of the darkness I will come,
From the place where there is no sun.
I'll sing my song and I will destroy,
All the world like it was a toy.
I wear a frown and yet I smile,
Looking so innocent, all the while.
Watch for me and you will see,
I am more than I appear to be.

A riddle? Rei looked closer, and saw something in the reflection of the boy's eyes. She saw a small fire, and then a girl meditating. That girl...that's....that's me!

Rei's eyes popped open. She let out a small scream. Her vision was clouded, and her arms groped around for something- anything. She found something, and her arms encircled it. Or rather, him.

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Location: the Shrine
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Wufei wasn't surprised to find Rei at the shrine. He half expected her to be there because of what she had told him Saturday. Though he didn't want to admit it, that was half the reason he wanted to find the shrine. The other reason was that he just wanted to meditate in peace. The apartment wasn't so quiet with Maxwell living there.

The shrine was rather nice, and he took a seat next to Rei. He was surprised, however, when Rei screamed. She flailed her arms in terror and smacked him several times. Wufei went to her in attempt to calm her down- she looked nearly insane. Suddenly, she wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him to the floor. He grew uncomfortable very quickly.

He was going to move when a feeble voice whispered, "Wu-man?"

Wufei looked down, and he saw terrified eyes looking back up at him. He was cold, sure, but he didn't have the heart to leave a girl alone while she was in such a state of horror.

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END
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