And You I Love
--------------------------------------
Location: trail to the bathrooms
--------------------------------------
Heero walked groggily up the trail that led to the bathrooms. He rubbed his eyes and ran his hand through his unruly hair. On his way up there, he wondered about what had happened the day before.
-- ** --
We came here on a mission, and I've become distracted. I've never allowed myself to become so distracted on any mission. It's kind of strange, because yesterday, I felt like...I felt like laughing with everyone else. When Minako told me I had a great smile, it was...different...I wanted...Ugh...
All these years, I'd convinced myself that I didn't want to be social, that I didn't want to be a normal teenager. But yesterday night, before I went to bed, I thought about it. It's not that I didn't want to live a normal life, it's that I couldn't want to live a normal life.
I was brought up to be a soldier. To be a soldier is to be around loss, and to be around loss is to be alone...the Perfect Solider. That's what they call me. I obey orders ruthlessly, showing no mercy to any of my targets. Is that all I'm good for? Obeying orders?
-- ** --
Heero's thoughts were interrupted. He had bumped into the wall of the restroom, and he cursed himself for being so damned unalert.
Heero walked into the bathroom, holding his bag of toothpaste and that sort of thing. He was surprised to see Minako up so early.
They said no words. Minako was brushing her teeth when Heero entered. Heero set his small bag down on the counter next to Minako and took out his toothbrush and a new tube of toothpaste. The cap was stuck. He put it between his teeth, and finally managed to get it off.
He spit the cap out with a lot of force.
Shwoom! Pink! The cap hit the mirror.
And bounced back.
It popped Heero on the forehead.
Suddenly, the world began to spin. Heero looked around, and the bathroom became blurry. His hand found his forehead and there was a very painful spot there. He steadied himself and took a deep breath. When he looked up, he saw Minako, turning a very bright color of red. She was holding in...laughter?
I- I- I have to go feed Usagi now! she stuttered. Heero was amazed at the speed at which Minako exited the bathroom. Luckily for him, there was no one else in the room.
Looking in the mirror, Heero studied the spot. The ridges on the cap were on his forehead, and the spot was turning red. He looked down into the sink, wondering if he would ever live this moment down.
--------------------------------------
Location: the trail back to the cabins
--------------------------------------
Minako was hitting her head softly. Stupid, stupid, stupid! I didn't even ask if he was ok! He could be unconscious now...Oh, God, should I go back? I should go back and check on him, shouldn't I?
I'm fine, a deep voice said. Minako jumped and dropped her stuff. A small Eeep!' escaped her mouth as she turned around and saw Heero.
Ugh! Don't do that! Minako said, squatting down to pick up her stuff. Heero squatted down also, and he handed Mina her trusty compact. She took it, but she saw the angry red spot on Heero's forehead. Opening her compact, Minako leaned forward, Here, let me-
I'm not wearing makeup, Heero argued laconically.
Minako persuaded, Come on! Look at yourself! This'll cover that right up! She let Heero look in the tiny mirror. By the vaguely surprised look on his face, Minako could tell it had gotten bigger from the last time he saw it.
Get on with it... Heero muttered quietly and angrily. She expertly applied a bit of concealer to his forehead, and then let him look in the mirror again. It had almost vanished.
A bush next to them moved and antlers appeared. They ran off, as if they could fly. The body of a large buck galloped away.
A deer! Mina squealed. She pulled Heero up off the ground and dragged him along with her. Let's chase it!
Heero was pulled roughly off the trail.
Minako, we'll never catch it! Finally, they slowed to a walking pace. Heero was again lost in thought.
What are you thinking about? Minako asked curiously.
Heero hesitated, but finally answered, Missions, orders, that sort of thing...
So you guys are in the military?
Heero nodded. He figured that was safe enough to say, and it was nearly true.
What's it like? Minako asked, You know, being in battle? Of course, she already knew what it was like, but she wanted Heero's opinion on it.
He stopped and squatted down. They were in a sort of glade in the middle of the forest. He picked up a smooth rock and ran it through his hands. He looked up at Minako and answered, It's...tiring...very, very tiring. The words had sort of spilled from his lips, and he seemed surprised that he said it.
Looking down at Heero, Minako asked yet another question. Are you telling me that you're tired? Of fighting? Heero stood up, and did not answer. But Minako did not need an answer. It was as if the pain of a million years flashed in Heero's eyes, and that was all Minako needed to know.
Minako stepped to Heero, and she took his hand in hers. She looked up into his eyes and asked, So then...why don't you stop?
Heero looked away when he spoke, barely in a whisper, Maybe...Maybe because if I stop fighting, I'll have nothing left. Without the battles and without the missions, there will be no point in me... His voice trailed, as he and Minako locked gazes. They leaned in for a kiss, but at the last second, Heero turned away. He dropped her hands and backed up, as though something in Minako terrified him.
At that moment, Minako saw Heero exposed. She saw him go from the confident solider to a boy, to a very frightened teenage boy. They stood staring at each other, both of them secretly afraid of the other for a reason they could not identify.
Rei came running in the direction behind Minako. She stopped when she saw them, terribly afraid that she had interrupted something special. Later, Minako would confess her thanks. Um...Mr. Mobiki...He's holding another class, uh, you're gonna be late if you don't hurry up. Ami's got paper and stuff over...there...Hey I'm sorry if I-
Minako said, taking a last look at Heero, before she went with Rei. You didn't interrupt anything.
--------------------------------------
Location: the Spot
--------------------------------------
Heero watched Minako run off with Rei. When she was out of sight, he cursed himself rather quietly. What...what the fuck were you thinking? he asked himself several times.
As he paced back and forth, Heero's thoughts ran.
Emotional unattatched. It's a short phrase I learned a long time ago. I was taught exactly what it meant, and exactly how to become it. It was easy.
A small voice in the back of Heero's mind spoke. @So then why are you falling in love?@
I'm not.
@Yes you are.@
Right now, I am emotionally unattached. I am going to keep it that way.
@That might prove to be harder than you think.@
I was trained for this kind of situation.
@You can't train your feelings.@
I have no feelings.
@Ah, but you do. That swirling, nervousness in your stomach? It's called love.@
I...I don't know what love is.
@Don't worry. You'll find out.@
--------------------------------------
END
--------------------------------------