Announcer: Welcome to the FFX tournament! Here are our quarter finalists!
All the way from the past and Zanarkand, the hero of our story, star
blitzball player for the Zanarkand Abes, and supposedly the boy who shall
replace Nick on the Backstreet Boys, please welcome Tidus!
Tidus: *walks into arena waving* Hey! Thank you! And I'll be part of the band in a week!
Announcer: Next up is Tidus' girlfriend, daughter of High Summoner Braska, and friend of the aeons, please welcome Yuna!
Yuna: *flys into stadium on Valefor* I'll do my best!
Announcer: Contestant number three has the aerodynamic hair and can really take a beating in blitzball! Captain of the Besaid Aurochs, Wakka!
Wakka: *enters spinning blitzball on finger* This'll be a piece o' cake, ya?
Announcer: And now the lady without patience, Voo Doo Extraordinare, and evil black mage, Lulu!
Lulu: *appears in a burst of fire* When do we start?
Announcer: Now the blue cat, the silent one, the one who gets picked on by his old friends, Kimarhi!
Kimarhi: *walks in*…
Announcer: Next in the line up is the dead guy, who people often couple up with Rikku, the supposedly one-handed guy, High Summoner Braska's Guardian, Auron!
Auron: *walks in* I shall win!
Announcer: And the excessively hyper one, who likes BOOMS, and likes using Tidus as a punching bag, the Al Bhed girl and crowd favorite, Rikku!
Rikku: *runs into arena* Let's get this started!
Announcer: And finally, our eighth quarter finalist, the yellow riding bird, Choco the Chocobo!
Choco: *struts in*…
Announcer: And there they are folks! I…Wait; our pairings are now in. Round one is Tidus vs Choco, Lulu vs Wakka, Kimarhi vs Rikku, Yuna vs Auron. Who shall win?
*Round One: fight between Choco and Tidus*
Choco: *pecks Tidus repeatedly on the head*
Tidus: Owowowowow! *gets mad and kills Choco*
Choco: Wark! (translation: Ouch!) *falls over*
Announcer: Well... I guess that Tidus is the winner! However, Tidus, there's something you should know. Choco was Valefor's distant cousin.
Valefor: *snarls at Tidus*
Tidus: Eeep... Nice birdy thing...
Valefor: *eats Tidus, then burps*
Yuna: Bad Valefor! You shouldn't eat people.
Announcer: Don't feel bad, Yuna. He dies at the end of the game anyway, so he'd only break your heart.
Yuna: Oh, okay.
*Round One: fight between Lulu and Wakka*
Wakka: I am so dead…
Lulu: How long did it take you to figure that one out? *doublecasts Ultima*
Wakka: Ouch…*falls over dead*
Lulu: Oops. *smiles evilly*
*Round One: Rikku vs Kimarhi*
Rikku: *runs over to Announcer and whispers in his ear*
Announcer: Rikku has just announced that she will be going for the quickest fight ever in memory of the speedy Choco. That's so sweet…
Crowd: Awwww……
Rikku: *reaches into pouch, draws out grenade, and blows Kimarhi up*
Announcer: Three seconds! A new record! Rikku wins!
Rikku: That was for Choco!
*Round One: Auron takes on Yuna*
Announcer: Good thing Tidus isn't around to see this. Oh, is this on? Whoops! Anyway, this is a fight for the history books! Auron, High Summoner Braska's Guardian, takes on High Summoner Braska's daughter, Yuna. Get ready for an action packed match folks!
Auron: Actually, it shan't be that long.
Yuna: In honor of Tidus, I must win this fight!
Auron: Yeah, right.
Yuna: But you're my guardian, you're not allowed to fight me.
Auron: Damn, she's right... *sees Yuna about to summon Ifrit* On second thought, forget the Guardian's code. *uses Shooting Star to send Yuna into orbit*
Announcer: Well, there's not something you see every day... All right, the pairings for the next round are in. Auron vs. Lulu, and Rikku vs. no one.
Mysterious Person: Wait! Rikku, I challenge you!
Rikku: Who the heck are you?
Mysterious Person: I am Graav, captain of the Luca Goers! Mwa ha!
Wakka and Tidus: *they never got sent to the farplane, so they come back as fiends and smack Graav around for beating the Besaid Aurochs*
Graav: Owie!
Rikku: Hey Auron, Lulu, should I help?
Lulu: It probably isn't the right thing to do, but ah well…
Rikku: Alright. *helps Wakka and Tidus beat Graav up 'til he's dead*
Announcer: Well, I guess Rikku wins that fight. She's heading to the finals! Next up, Auron and Lulu! But first, a word from our sponsors while our new summoner Dona performs a sending.
Auron: I didn't think we had sponsors.
Announcer: We don't? Ah, well, Dona, please proceed with your sending.
Tidus and Wakka: *attack Dona because she took Yuna's place and kill her*
Announcer: Alrighty then, we'll have to find someone else to perform the sending.
Tidus: *miraculously is able to talk* Don't worry, Wakka and I are heading to the Farplane. We got revenge on everyone who we wanted to! We'll drag Graav and Dona with us. Choco and Kimarhi are coming with us too!
Rikku: I can't believe I'm saying this, but thanks Tidus! I forgive you for blowing my machina up too!
Announcer: Alrightie! Auron, Lulu, begin!
Auron: Bout time. *rushes at Lulu, about to slash her with another Shooting Star*
Lulu: Time to die! *doublecasts Ultima again*
Auron and Lulu: *both attacks hit at the same time so both fall down dead*
Announcer: Ok, Auron and Lulu have killed each other off. This round is a stalemate, and Rikku automatically wins. What are you going to do with the prize money Rikku?
Rikku: There's prize money?
Announcer: Oops, wrong event. I mean, how does it feel to be champ?
Rikku: Great! Except, really lonely.
Announcer: You mean you're out of Phoenix Downs?
Rikku: Yeah, Yuna had them all.
Announcer: Oh well, we'll think of something by the next chapter.
Rikku: That reminds me. What are we doing next?
Announcer: Umm…..*shuffles through notecards* A cooking show starring you, Yuna, and Lulu.
Rikku: Cool!
AN: So there we go! What did ya think? Sorry if any Tidus fans are reading this. Sapphire Dragon and I don't like Tidus that much. I mean, why couldn't it be Auron's story? Of just Yuna's story? Or even better, Rikku's story? Why Tidus? He's worthless! If you agree with that, look for Sapphire Dragon's rants about the characters. Coming soon!
Tidus: *walks into arena waving* Hey! Thank you! And I'll be part of the band in a week!
Announcer: Next up is Tidus' girlfriend, daughter of High Summoner Braska, and friend of the aeons, please welcome Yuna!
Yuna: *flys into stadium on Valefor* I'll do my best!
Announcer: Contestant number three has the aerodynamic hair and can really take a beating in blitzball! Captain of the Besaid Aurochs, Wakka!
Wakka: *enters spinning blitzball on finger* This'll be a piece o' cake, ya?
Announcer: And now the lady without patience, Voo Doo Extraordinare, and evil black mage, Lulu!
Lulu: *appears in a burst of fire* When do we start?
Announcer: Now the blue cat, the silent one, the one who gets picked on by his old friends, Kimarhi!
Kimarhi: *walks in*…
Announcer: Next in the line up is the dead guy, who people often couple up with Rikku, the supposedly one-handed guy, High Summoner Braska's Guardian, Auron!
Auron: *walks in* I shall win!
Announcer: And the excessively hyper one, who likes BOOMS, and likes using Tidus as a punching bag, the Al Bhed girl and crowd favorite, Rikku!
Rikku: *runs into arena* Let's get this started!
Announcer: And finally, our eighth quarter finalist, the yellow riding bird, Choco the Chocobo!
Choco: *struts in*…
Announcer: And there they are folks! I…Wait; our pairings are now in. Round one is Tidus vs Choco, Lulu vs Wakka, Kimarhi vs Rikku, Yuna vs Auron. Who shall win?
*Round One: fight between Choco and Tidus*
Choco: *pecks Tidus repeatedly on the head*
Tidus: Owowowowow! *gets mad and kills Choco*
Choco: Wark! (translation: Ouch!) *falls over*
Announcer: Well... I guess that Tidus is the winner! However, Tidus, there's something you should know. Choco was Valefor's distant cousin.
Valefor: *snarls at Tidus*
Tidus: Eeep... Nice birdy thing...
Valefor: *eats Tidus, then burps*
Yuna: Bad Valefor! You shouldn't eat people.
Announcer: Don't feel bad, Yuna. He dies at the end of the game anyway, so he'd only break your heart.
Yuna: Oh, okay.
*Round One: fight between Lulu and Wakka*
Wakka: I am so dead…
Lulu: How long did it take you to figure that one out? *doublecasts Ultima*
Wakka: Ouch…*falls over dead*
Lulu: Oops. *smiles evilly*
*Round One: Rikku vs Kimarhi*
Rikku: *runs over to Announcer and whispers in his ear*
Announcer: Rikku has just announced that she will be going for the quickest fight ever in memory of the speedy Choco. That's so sweet…
Crowd: Awwww……
Rikku: *reaches into pouch, draws out grenade, and blows Kimarhi up*
Announcer: Three seconds! A new record! Rikku wins!
Rikku: That was for Choco!
*Round One: Auron takes on Yuna*
Announcer: Good thing Tidus isn't around to see this. Oh, is this on? Whoops! Anyway, this is a fight for the history books! Auron, High Summoner Braska's Guardian, takes on High Summoner Braska's daughter, Yuna. Get ready for an action packed match folks!
Auron: Actually, it shan't be that long.
Yuna: In honor of Tidus, I must win this fight!
Auron: Yeah, right.
Yuna: But you're my guardian, you're not allowed to fight me.
Auron: Damn, she's right... *sees Yuna about to summon Ifrit* On second thought, forget the Guardian's code. *uses Shooting Star to send Yuna into orbit*
Announcer: Well, there's not something you see every day... All right, the pairings for the next round are in. Auron vs. Lulu, and Rikku vs. no one.
Mysterious Person: Wait! Rikku, I challenge you!
Rikku: Who the heck are you?
Mysterious Person: I am Graav, captain of the Luca Goers! Mwa ha!
Wakka and Tidus: *they never got sent to the farplane, so they come back as fiends and smack Graav around for beating the Besaid Aurochs*
Graav: Owie!
Rikku: Hey Auron, Lulu, should I help?
Lulu: It probably isn't the right thing to do, but ah well…
Rikku: Alright. *helps Wakka and Tidus beat Graav up 'til he's dead*
Announcer: Well, I guess Rikku wins that fight. She's heading to the finals! Next up, Auron and Lulu! But first, a word from our sponsors while our new summoner Dona performs a sending.
Auron: I didn't think we had sponsors.
Announcer: We don't? Ah, well, Dona, please proceed with your sending.
Tidus and Wakka: *attack Dona because she took Yuna's place and kill her*
Announcer: Alrighty then, we'll have to find someone else to perform the sending.
Tidus: *miraculously is able to talk* Don't worry, Wakka and I are heading to the Farplane. We got revenge on everyone who we wanted to! We'll drag Graav and Dona with us. Choco and Kimarhi are coming with us too!
Rikku: I can't believe I'm saying this, but thanks Tidus! I forgive you for blowing my machina up too!
Announcer: Alrightie! Auron, Lulu, begin!
Auron: Bout time. *rushes at Lulu, about to slash her with another Shooting Star*
Lulu: Time to die! *doublecasts Ultima again*
Auron and Lulu: *both attacks hit at the same time so both fall down dead*
Announcer: Ok, Auron and Lulu have killed each other off. This round is a stalemate, and Rikku automatically wins. What are you going to do with the prize money Rikku?
Rikku: There's prize money?
Announcer: Oops, wrong event. I mean, how does it feel to be champ?
Rikku: Great! Except, really lonely.
Announcer: You mean you're out of Phoenix Downs?
Rikku: Yeah, Yuna had them all.
Announcer: Oh well, we'll think of something by the next chapter.
Rikku: That reminds me. What are we doing next?
Announcer: Umm…..*shuffles through notecards* A cooking show starring you, Yuna, and Lulu.
Rikku: Cool!
AN: So there we go! What did ya think? Sorry if any Tidus fans are reading this. Sapphire Dragon and I don't like Tidus that much. I mean, why couldn't it be Auron's story? Of just Yuna's story? Or even better, Rikku's story? Why Tidus? He's worthless! If you agree with that, look for Sapphire Dragon's rants about the characters. Coming soon!