Hermione Granger rubbed her hands together evilly like a fly does when it's
about to be sick on your salad. She grabbed her diary again and began
writing down the plans. She then looked at her watch and ran to the stairs
to rush out to meet her "father" not for long she thought deviously, and
she was so busy thinking of how great her life was going to be once she got
all this out of the way she tripped and fell headfirst down the stairs. She
landed in a heap at the bottom and looked up rubbing her back to see Lucius
Malfoy smirking an all too familiar smirk. "I take it you are ready then?"
he asked innocently. She grunted something that Lucius assumed was
something like yes and heaved herself up from the heavily polished floor.
They walked out of the house (well Lucius walked, Hermione hobbled) and
mounted his broom. She carried on mumbling about how Lucius couldn't talk
having just drank a glass of vinegar, but he was too busy humming an S Club
7 tune – much to Hermiones And My disgust. "I thought you hated muggles?"
She asked incredulously. "I do, but they don't half make some great tunes!"
He grinned and carried on singing. Hermione scowled and muttered "yeah, and
that sure isn't one of them." As she felt the cool night air blow about her
as they took off into the night sky. She closed her eyes and imagined that
all this wasn't happening, and when she opened them again Hermione saw the
deep blue sky stretching for miles with the odd star in the sky and she
also saw a cat clinging onto an aeroplane for dear life – or one of them
anyway, (It had already used up 6…this was one daredevil kitty!), but she
chose to ignore that.
When they arrived Hermione climbed rather clumsily off of the broom and followed Lucius to the area where the ceremony had taken place the day before. A dark hooded figure sat on a wheelie office chair in the centre with it's back to them. Hermione yelled, "Voldemort, turn around." And to her surprise she heard a high squeal of frustration. "No! That's not how you do it! I have to sit here looking scary and then you have to tap me on the shoulder and say in a sweet little voice, 'excuse me sir'. Then I suddenly swivel round in my wheelie chair and bare my teeth at you. Then you scream and step back in horror. Got it?" He finished with an exasperated sigh. Hermione arched an eyebrow, "You've really thought about this haven't you?" she said. Voldemort nodded tentatively. And so Hermione spent the next hour doing different versions of what her dad called The Classic Scare. Then a thought occurred to her…what if she didn't have to bother with this whole Pansy Plan and just asked him if she could pretend it never happened!
When Voldemort finally noticed that Hermione was getting so bored she was staring gormless into space with a bit of spit drooling down her chin he decided it was time to do something else. "So sweetie, what do you want? You can have anything!" He smiled at her encouragingly. "erm…" Hermione thought about it. "Well…if you wanted I could always…oh, I dunno – Kill Harry Potter?!" He urged her…with an evil gleam in his eye. "No. I want this: for you to forget about me and let me go back to Hogwarts and pretend this never happened. Can I have that?" Suddenly the place went silent. Voldemorts chin dropped so low that he had to quickly shut his mouth because ants were crawling in from the ground. "But…but…but…" Hermione glared at him, "Oh, spit it out Volemort!" He sighed and said, "I am sorry but I cannot let this happen. You are my daughter. And," He added with a look of grim determination in his eyes – his voice turned very grave, "We are going to be happy. UNDERSTAND!" He then went back to playing The Classic Stare game again. Hermione sighed heavily, this was not going her way – oh well, she was going to have to use the Pansy Plan after all. Hehehehehehehehehehe…
Back at the Malfoy Manor…
"Malfoy! If you don't get your ass out of the bathroom right NOW I am going to come in and slash your green fluffy towel to PIECES!" Hermione shrieked from the other side of the bathroom door. As she had expected Malfoy came rushing out wearing his other smaller green fluffy towel (this one was another of his favourites) panting, "Alright, alright I'm out – just don't hurt my towel O.K.?!" he stared at her his eyes begging her not to come and kill his favourite towel. Hermione daintily pushed past him and locked the door in his face, making no promises. "Damn you Granger!" Draco yelled as he stomped back to his room.
Hermione cursed herself (not literally – in the non magical sense!) when she shut the door. If this Pansy Plan was going to work she was going to need Dracos help – and chances are he would not be too willing if she slashed up his FGT (fluffy green towel).
She wrapped a towel (not the FGT) around her and left the bathroom feeling lovely and fresh after just enjoying a relaxing time in the hot tub! She approached Draco's room and went to knock…but hesitated – what if he's still mad at me? She thought. But she didn't get to think for long as Draco threw open his door and stopped suddenly when he saw Hermione standing in front of him, her right arm raised as though she were about to knock (which she was of course). "Granger." Draco muttered shooting daggers at her,
"Malfoy." She said in a trying-desperately-to-be-nice tone. "Well, can I come in?" She looked up at him expectantly. Draco sighed and said, "Sure." Of course, the reason he had been so ready to forgive her had absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that she was only wearing a small towel…and to his relief it was not the FGT. He stepped back from the door and let her in. Hermione gazed around his room, her eyes falling on various interesting magical – and to her surprise Muggle – things lying around. It was a tip, and she would normally have said something or at least glared but she stopped herself as she was trying to get on Draco's good side. After she had inspected his room she plonked herself down on the bed next to Draco and looked him in the eyes. "Draco. I need you…" She paused and Draco blushed and cried, "Me too…oh, Granger!" Hermione just looked at him with confusion and continued, "I need you to help me with the Pansy Plan." Draco went more red than Hermione thought his usually pale face could manage and he said hurriedly, "Err…yeah, I meant "me too – I also need your help with some…erm…some Potions homework." Duh!" Hermione relaxed and smiled although she was of course slightly disappointed. She then launched into a detailed description of the Pansy Plan…
One Hour Later…
Hermione stopped and gasped for breath…boy, had that been hard work! She smiled when she saw Draco nod understandingly and then ask, "What's my role in all this?" Hermione thought for a moment then said, "Pansy idolizes you – so use that to lure her into my trap! Tell her stuff about how it's all the rage to have bushy hair and stuff. Also help me make a polyjuice potion…so I can take her place for a while while we sort everything out – I can say about how I ( I being Pansy) am going away to Durmstrang then,no one would suspect a thing! No one will miss her and she can have a happy life being Voldie's best girl! So will you help me?" She pleaded and to her utter relief Draco looked into her eyes and nodded once more. Hermione jumped in the air and cheered. But when she landed she trod onto an upright pin sitting on the floor. Her cheer morphed into a cry of pain then: "WOOOHOOOO…OOOOOWWWWWW!!" She yanked it out and left the room satisfied. She heard Draco call from his room, "When do I start?"
"Tomorrow!" Hermione called back.
The very next day when Hermione was stuck at home (Voldemort had forbidden her to go back to Hogwarts in case she told anyone), Malfoy was getting to work with his plan. Well, Hermione's plan anyhow. At breakfast Draco had to endure a whole half an hour listening to Pansy's ramblings about the latest witch fashions and how great she looked in them. "…and when I wore it a wizard who looked about 23 smiled at me and…oh you will never guess! He winked at me sweetie! I thought, any minute now he's going to try something, I did!" She looked at Draco searching his face for any kind of jealousy. There was nothing there but boredom, but Pansy failed to notice. "Did he do anything in the end then?" He asked monotonously. "Erm…no. But he looked as though he was just about to! Probably just shy! Ahh…the darling." She smiled sweetly at Draco. To Draco the only thing sweet about that smile was the bit of candy stuck between Pansy's teeth. He shuddered, but pulled himself together. "Pansy…honey…your hair is still straight I see." He glanced at her hair that looked like something out of a Sleek and Shine advert. She patted her hair insecurely, "Well of course! Er…why wouldn't it be Draco, sweetie?"
"Well, I heard from a very reliable source that Thick hair was what was hot right now? Didn't you know?" Draco tried to sound casual. At this point Pansy's face turned into an extremely ugly scowl, "What? Er…sorry I really gotta go! Bye Draciee!" She walked off swinging her hips as much as she could, making her look like she had a snake in her pants. Draco snorted with laughter into his drink. This was going to be more fun than he could possibly have hoped for!!!
Pansy walked down the stairs to the Great Hall for dinner with thick and bushy hair followed by her little gang of gigglies who had also mashed their hair up beyond recognition. Pansy smiled down at Draco who forced a smile back. He leaned in to her and whispered intriguingly, "I love the new hair…meet me outside the Forbidden Forest at 11pm. don't be late." And with that he turned and swaggered out of the Hall leaving Pansy to smile boastingly at her gang of gigglies. She fluffed up her new hair with er hand and tucked in for some dinner.
Up in his room Draco cursed himself for trying to be suave and leaving without eating. He tried to ignore the loud rumblings of his famished stomach. He began to strip down so he could change into something sexy, not that you don't look sexy all the time draco, he told himself. He stripped down to his pants and stood in front of the mirror. He was admiring his reflection whilst singing, "I believe in miracles…since you came along…you sexy thing!" Hermione appeared looking quite disturbed in the room. "Aggh!" He screamed, like a little girl, "What the Hell are you doing here??" She blushed when she saw his bare chest and apologised over and over as he hurriedly pulled on some clothes. "well, you see I apparated here…just a little trick I learnt over the Summer! And I came to tell you that I will be waiting in disguise at the edge of the forest for you to meet Pansy and get the hair." She looked pleased with herself having mastered the apparition spell at last. Draco eyed her suspiciously, "How do you know so much about polyjuice potions?" She just brushed an invisible fleck of dust from her cloak and began twiddling with her hair as though she had not heard him. He was too tired to push it. He left that night to meet his "dearly beloved" Pansy to get this hair from her…and knock her out in the meantime. "Let the Games begin" He muttered to himself. Then he kicked himself painfully in the ankle as he realised how corny and cliché that was.
When they arrived Hermione climbed rather clumsily off of the broom and followed Lucius to the area where the ceremony had taken place the day before. A dark hooded figure sat on a wheelie office chair in the centre with it's back to them. Hermione yelled, "Voldemort, turn around." And to her surprise she heard a high squeal of frustration. "No! That's not how you do it! I have to sit here looking scary and then you have to tap me on the shoulder and say in a sweet little voice, 'excuse me sir'. Then I suddenly swivel round in my wheelie chair and bare my teeth at you. Then you scream and step back in horror. Got it?" He finished with an exasperated sigh. Hermione arched an eyebrow, "You've really thought about this haven't you?" she said. Voldemort nodded tentatively. And so Hermione spent the next hour doing different versions of what her dad called The Classic Scare. Then a thought occurred to her…what if she didn't have to bother with this whole Pansy Plan and just asked him if she could pretend it never happened!
When Voldemort finally noticed that Hermione was getting so bored she was staring gormless into space with a bit of spit drooling down her chin he decided it was time to do something else. "So sweetie, what do you want? You can have anything!" He smiled at her encouragingly. "erm…" Hermione thought about it. "Well…if you wanted I could always…oh, I dunno – Kill Harry Potter?!" He urged her…with an evil gleam in his eye. "No. I want this: for you to forget about me and let me go back to Hogwarts and pretend this never happened. Can I have that?" Suddenly the place went silent. Voldemorts chin dropped so low that he had to quickly shut his mouth because ants were crawling in from the ground. "But…but…but…" Hermione glared at him, "Oh, spit it out Volemort!" He sighed and said, "I am sorry but I cannot let this happen. You are my daughter. And," He added with a look of grim determination in his eyes – his voice turned very grave, "We are going to be happy. UNDERSTAND!" He then went back to playing The Classic Stare game again. Hermione sighed heavily, this was not going her way – oh well, she was going to have to use the Pansy Plan after all. Hehehehehehehehehehe…
Back at the Malfoy Manor…
"Malfoy! If you don't get your ass out of the bathroom right NOW I am going to come in and slash your green fluffy towel to PIECES!" Hermione shrieked from the other side of the bathroom door. As she had expected Malfoy came rushing out wearing his other smaller green fluffy towel (this one was another of his favourites) panting, "Alright, alright I'm out – just don't hurt my towel O.K.?!" he stared at her his eyes begging her not to come and kill his favourite towel. Hermione daintily pushed past him and locked the door in his face, making no promises. "Damn you Granger!" Draco yelled as he stomped back to his room.
Hermione cursed herself (not literally – in the non magical sense!) when she shut the door. If this Pansy Plan was going to work she was going to need Dracos help – and chances are he would not be too willing if she slashed up his FGT (fluffy green towel).
She wrapped a towel (not the FGT) around her and left the bathroom feeling lovely and fresh after just enjoying a relaxing time in the hot tub! She approached Draco's room and went to knock…but hesitated – what if he's still mad at me? She thought. But she didn't get to think for long as Draco threw open his door and stopped suddenly when he saw Hermione standing in front of him, her right arm raised as though she were about to knock (which she was of course). "Granger." Draco muttered shooting daggers at her,
"Malfoy." She said in a trying-desperately-to-be-nice tone. "Well, can I come in?" She looked up at him expectantly. Draco sighed and said, "Sure." Of course, the reason he had been so ready to forgive her had absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that she was only wearing a small towel…and to his relief it was not the FGT. He stepped back from the door and let her in. Hermione gazed around his room, her eyes falling on various interesting magical – and to her surprise Muggle – things lying around. It was a tip, and she would normally have said something or at least glared but she stopped herself as she was trying to get on Draco's good side. After she had inspected his room she plonked herself down on the bed next to Draco and looked him in the eyes. "Draco. I need you…" She paused and Draco blushed and cried, "Me too…oh, Granger!" Hermione just looked at him with confusion and continued, "I need you to help me with the Pansy Plan." Draco went more red than Hermione thought his usually pale face could manage and he said hurriedly, "Err…yeah, I meant "me too – I also need your help with some…erm…some Potions homework." Duh!" Hermione relaxed and smiled although she was of course slightly disappointed. She then launched into a detailed description of the Pansy Plan…
One Hour Later…
Hermione stopped and gasped for breath…boy, had that been hard work! She smiled when she saw Draco nod understandingly and then ask, "What's my role in all this?" Hermione thought for a moment then said, "Pansy idolizes you – so use that to lure her into my trap! Tell her stuff about how it's all the rage to have bushy hair and stuff. Also help me make a polyjuice potion…so I can take her place for a while while we sort everything out – I can say about how I ( I being Pansy) am going away to Durmstrang then,no one would suspect a thing! No one will miss her and she can have a happy life being Voldie's best girl! So will you help me?" She pleaded and to her utter relief Draco looked into her eyes and nodded once more. Hermione jumped in the air and cheered. But when she landed she trod onto an upright pin sitting on the floor. Her cheer morphed into a cry of pain then: "WOOOHOOOO…OOOOOWWWWWW!!" She yanked it out and left the room satisfied. She heard Draco call from his room, "When do I start?"
"Tomorrow!" Hermione called back.
The very next day when Hermione was stuck at home (Voldemort had forbidden her to go back to Hogwarts in case she told anyone), Malfoy was getting to work with his plan. Well, Hermione's plan anyhow. At breakfast Draco had to endure a whole half an hour listening to Pansy's ramblings about the latest witch fashions and how great she looked in them. "…and when I wore it a wizard who looked about 23 smiled at me and…oh you will never guess! He winked at me sweetie! I thought, any minute now he's going to try something, I did!" She looked at Draco searching his face for any kind of jealousy. There was nothing there but boredom, but Pansy failed to notice. "Did he do anything in the end then?" He asked monotonously. "Erm…no. But he looked as though he was just about to! Probably just shy! Ahh…the darling." She smiled sweetly at Draco. To Draco the only thing sweet about that smile was the bit of candy stuck between Pansy's teeth. He shuddered, but pulled himself together. "Pansy…honey…your hair is still straight I see." He glanced at her hair that looked like something out of a Sleek and Shine advert. She patted her hair insecurely, "Well of course! Er…why wouldn't it be Draco, sweetie?"
"Well, I heard from a very reliable source that Thick hair was what was hot right now? Didn't you know?" Draco tried to sound casual. At this point Pansy's face turned into an extremely ugly scowl, "What? Er…sorry I really gotta go! Bye Draciee!" She walked off swinging her hips as much as she could, making her look like she had a snake in her pants. Draco snorted with laughter into his drink. This was going to be more fun than he could possibly have hoped for!!!
Pansy walked down the stairs to the Great Hall for dinner with thick and bushy hair followed by her little gang of gigglies who had also mashed their hair up beyond recognition. Pansy smiled down at Draco who forced a smile back. He leaned in to her and whispered intriguingly, "I love the new hair…meet me outside the Forbidden Forest at 11pm. don't be late." And with that he turned and swaggered out of the Hall leaving Pansy to smile boastingly at her gang of gigglies. She fluffed up her new hair with er hand and tucked in for some dinner.
Up in his room Draco cursed himself for trying to be suave and leaving without eating. He tried to ignore the loud rumblings of his famished stomach. He began to strip down so he could change into something sexy, not that you don't look sexy all the time draco, he told himself. He stripped down to his pants and stood in front of the mirror. He was admiring his reflection whilst singing, "I believe in miracles…since you came along…you sexy thing!" Hermione appeared looking quite disturbed in the room. "Aggh!" He screamed, like a little girl, "What the Hell are you doing here??" She blushed when she saw his bare chest and apologised over and over as he hurriedly pulled on some clothes. "well, you see I apparated here…just a little trick I learnt over the Summer! And I came to tell you that I will be waiting in disguise at the edge of the forest for you to meet Pansy and get the hair." She looked pleased with herself having mastered the apparition spell at last. Draco eyed her suspiciously, "How do you know so much about polyjuice potions?" She just brushed an invisible fleck of dust from her cloak and began twiddling with her hair as though she had not heard him. He was too tired to push it. He left that night to meet his "dearly beloved" Pansy to get this hair from her…and knock her out in the meantime. "Let the Games begin" He muttered to himself. Then he kicked himself painfully in the ankle as he realised how corny and cliché that was.