Yes, it's been done before…many, many times before! Multi-author fanfic, done with me, SSJA; Sakki; and Voldy. But we don't copy other authors, and our fics always end up—unique! Yeah…unique… This started out because I was bored the period before we had to take a standardized test. Sakki added something to it during lunchtime, and Voldy started writing in it the next day. One week later, chapter one has resulted! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
FUSHIGI YUUGI TRUTH OR DARE!
The Fanfiction War! Multi-author insanity! Better than Pure Insanity!
Because it's more hentai, more hilarious and…well…we said so, ok? Good!
^_^
"Damn, I hate standardized tests…" muttered SSJA in English class one day.
But it wasn't just any day, oh no. It was the first day of a stupid standardized state test…thing. It was evil, and every student in her grade knew it. What better way to spend the class period before, than write a stupid fanfic instead of listening to the teacher!
Zapping herself into the Fushigi Yuugi Universe disguised as Yui was always a fun thing to do. In some fanfic she had written before, the Seiryu seishi had kidnapped Tama-neko, so she decided to start writing where that plot had left off.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hi everybody!" 'Yui' exclaimed cheerfully.
"We still have the cat hostage." Amiboshi informed her.
"OK. In that case…PREPARE THE MACHINE!" Yui exclaimed, with a dramatic pause for effect somewhere in that sentence.
Everyone gasped. So that was what they were going to do the Suzaku seishi. The gasps were replaced by laughter. (If you think I'm revealing the plot now…!)
A short while later, the Suzaku seishi arrived—wearing galoshes, as planned. (Hey, I made that part up when it was 10 at night…)
"Guess what we're doing!" 'Yui' told them happily upon their arrival.
"Where's the cat?" demanded Mitsukake, unnaturally loud.
"He's OK. We wouldn't really eat him." 'Yui' said. "Bring the food inside. We're going to play Truth or Dare. Failure to do so will result in…THE KARAOKE MACHINE!!"
(Spooky music!)
"Sakki better not kill me for doing this later…" 'Yui' muttered and brought Sakki into the fic disguised as Miaka. Sakki…don't kill me yet, ok? You haven't seen the "good" part of the fic.
"MIAKA?!?!" Sakki demanded, ready to chop SSJA's head off with the nearest blunt object.
"Shut up and just pick dare, ok?" 'Yui' hissed back at her friend. "And Chiriko, there's nothing in the rules that say you can't do certain things because you're underage."
Chiriko swore.
"I didn't teach him the damn words, why are y' all lookin' at me like that?!" Tasuki muttered.
"'Miaka'!" 'Yui' exclaimed. "Truth or dare."
"Dare." Sakki said with a "what-the-hell?" look on her face.
"I dare you to do in that room over there with Tasuki and—" 'Yui' said. "You know. But come back to the game, ok?"
Tamahome shot the author a Death Glare™. Anything to annoy you, Tamahome! Did you know, it's fifteen minutes before the test? It is, it is! I hate the test! Time passed. The author had no ideas and stared at a half-blank page. Inside the fic, Sakki came out of the room with Tasuki. Tamahome shot the author more Death Glares™. Ten minutes before the test! Nobody stepped up to dare anyone else. Finally, Tasuki said…
"Chiriko, truth or dare?"
"Um…" the genius replied. "I could pick truth…or I could pick dare…I could say something stupid…or do something stupid…"
"Shut up an' pick one!"
"Dare?"
"I dare ya to…" Tasuki said with a smile. "Have some sake! Here!"
(Everyone sweatdropped and fell to the floor.)
… … …
Chiriko swayed dizzily and fell to the floor. "That was…good…"
"Oh, Suzaku! You killed Chiriko! You bastard!" Nuriko yelled, and slammed Tasuki into the wall.
"Tamahome no da." Chichiri said, because Chiriko was not in any mental state to ask questions now. "Truth or dare na no da?"
"Dare." Tamahome replied.
(Because THAT will be funny…)
"Then I dare you to go over there and kiss Nakago na no da." Chichiri said. "For a whole minute no da. I would make it longer, but then I'd be a dead monk na no da."
"You'll still be a dead monk na no da!" Tamahome yelled as he got up and tried to attempt murder.
"Oh, another rule of the game? You can't severely injure or kill anyone about what goes on in the game—even AFTER." SSJA reminded everyone. "Which means no killing of any blue haired monks (no da)."
"This is going to be something that we'll see in our nightmares for a long time…" Amiboshi muttered.
(Once that's over…because I'm too lazy to write it…)
"Chichiri!" Nakago said.
"AAH!" the seishi exclaimed, going SD in panic. "Truth na no da!!"
Nakago and Tamahome whispered together, trying to figure out a "suitable punishment".
**SAKKI WRITES**
"Go fuck Yui and Miaka simultaneously!" Nakago proclaimed.
"What the hell!!" Tamahome screeched (which was unnaturally high-pitched for a guy.) Sakki paled and Yui…Well…Yui was unconscious since Miaka couldn't stand her yelling in her hair.
(SSJA: Or at least yelling things like "NO!", "WHAT THE?!" and so on in the cafeteria where some normal people were looking on…hehehe…)
**SSJA writes**
"If you lay a finger on Yui-sama, I'll kill you." Suboshi informed the shocked monk (na no da).
"Guys!" 'Yui' exclaimed very happily, as she suddenly woke up. "He didn't say 'dare', he said 'truth'!"
"Thank Suzaku na no da!" Chichiri sighed with relief.
"OK. Uh-huh. Nakago lost his turn. Who's next?" 'Yui' asked.
"Truth or dare is a scary game." Amiboshi said.
Tasuki had recovered from his wall-shattering experience—literally "wall-shattering"—and Chiriko was in a slightly better mental state…though slightly delirious.
"I haven't gone yet." Mitsukake said.
"Ahhh! It talks!" Chiriko yelled.
"Tasuki?" Mitsukake asked.
"Dare, so long as th' damn thing doesn't get me killed…" the bandit answered.
"I dare you to…" Mitsukake paused.
Everyone listened nervously.
"Sing Blue Eyes Blue!" Mitsukake said.
"Bring in…THE KARAOKE MACHINE!" exclaimed Yui.
"Ehehehe…" muttered Tasuki.
The result would be similar to Amiboshi or Mitsukake singing "Ai to Iuna no Tatakai ni", which is Tamahome's song. Anyway:
"Watch me, everyone!" 'Yui' said hyperactively.
She cupped her hands to her mouth to make her voice sound deeper and began to sing Blue Eyes Blue. Everyone covered their ears, so she stopped.
"THAT'S how you sing it, Tasuki."
"Who's next?" Sakki wondered.
"When it's your turn, you can't dare Tasuki to 'pack' you." 'Yui' told her.
"Damn it!"
"It is my fic…I don't want too much hentai."
**Sakki writes, and SSJA flips out in first period**
"Whatever." Sakki said. Then here eyes took an evil glint. "Then Suboshi, go 'pack' Yui! You KNOW you want to!"
**SSJA writes again, and later finds out Sakki said that all because she was disguised as Miaka for part of the fic. Yeeesh…talk about holding grudges!**
'Yui' paled, turned bright red, and also looked slightly green. She muttered under her breath something about how only Sakki could be so evil for writing that, and that she did the right thing by running away after 'Yui' got the story back.
"Pack?"
"Fuck." Sakki explained. "It's a joke. Pack means fuck."
"Oh."
"Correction—Oh no." 'Yui' muttered. "With huge emphasis on the "I'm-going-to-destroy-Sakki" part of the phrase."
Tamahome and Sakki were about to collapse in hysterical laughter. That's evil. Oh well…I'll find some way to get you back, Sakki. *Evil laugh* Wait—you expect me to write that?! YOU write it. I'm NOT writing it! You'll probably make it sick and detailed though…*sigh*…I'll write it…
(A short while later) ßAHAHAHA! See how undetailed it was?
**Later, Sakki sees this and…**
THE HENTAI SCENE THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!
Sakki put in airplane earplugs guaranteed to block out both sound and pressure (trust me these things saved me lots of torture riding airplanes to the Philippines and Hong Kong!!)
**As written by Voldy, in a conspiracy with Sakki**
(Note: Sakki told Voldy that Suboshi says "Yui-sama"…and as she put it… "Emphasis on SAMA!")
"Yui-SAMA! Where are you?" cried out Suboshi from under the blankets.
"Down here." Said 'Yui SAMA' on the floor, running for her clothes.
"Come back!" said Suboshi, grappling for Yui.
Yui SAMA made it to the door with her clothes on, while knocking out Suboshi with a lightbulb, then dragging his unconscious body by the ears down the hallway and into a garbage can.
**Sakki, as we left the cafeteria**
"Oooh, Yui-SAMA, I heard very interesting sounds coming from OVER THERE!!"
**SSJA**
"How could you hear with those earplugs in, anyway?" 'Yui-SAMA' asked her evil hentai friend.
Sakki's rude remarks continued (and she took out the earplugs because of her curiosity to hear her friend's torture.)
"Shut up!" SSJA snapped. "whose turn is it anyway?"
"Um…" Sakki said, and looked around the room.
"I demand that I get my turn back!" Nakago exclaimed.
"No na no da!" Chichiri exclaimed.
"I don't want him to get his turn back either…" SSJA agreed.
"IT'S MY TURN!" Chiriko exclaimed. "Hey, Hotohori-sama!"
(…the drunken genius who stayed up too late…)
"Um…" the uncertain emperor replied. "Dare."
(How bad could it be?) thought Hotohori. (It's just Chiriko.)
"I dare you to…be UGLY!" the genius said.
"What?!" everyone yelled, Hotohori yelling the loudest.
"Wh…what?!" Hotohori repeated.
"How is he supposed to do that?" Nuriko asked.
"I don't know." Chiriko said, and fell asleep.
"Ah. That was—" Hotohori said. "Weird. I guess it's my turn since he's out cold…"
(From down the hallway somewhere, we suddenly hear "Hey! Huh? Why am I in the garbage? Where's Yui-sama and everyone else?")
"You stuffed him in the garbage?" Amiboshi asked.
"And knocked him out with a lightbulb." SSJA agreed.
"You told me I couldn't kill anyone—like Chichiri, or you—" Tamahome glared at the monk and the author with an evil Death Glare™. "Because of 'game related events'."
"I didn't kill him!"
Hotohori was trying to pick his victim. "Hm…Is there anyone I have a grudge against?" (And he continued to think.)
"Ack!" yelled Voldy, falling from the ceiling. "That's the last time I let SSJA draw me a map of the solar system!"
"…Voldy? That was my 'destroyed planets' list. I think you fell through a black hole." SSJA said. "And we're in the middle of a fic here! You can stay!"
"Hey!" Sakki exclaimed. "Lookie! Tomo and Hotohori look alike!"
"Long lost siblings!" exclaimed 'Yui'.
"How could you say I look like—him?!" Hotohori demanded.
The two authors—but not Voldy—jumped at Tomo and proceeded to take off his makeup.
"Ahhh!" yelled everyone. "Tomo is a bishounen!"
Hotohori nearly fainted at the thought of resembling one who normally looked so ugly and weird.
"Hey, look! Nakago and Mitsukake look alike, too!" Sakki and 'Yui' yelled.
They were silenced by flying objects. "…That's not nice…"
Suboshi—upon finding his way out of the garbage and getting dressed—wandered into he room, yelled "WHO'S THAT?!"
"THAT is Tomo!" 'Yui' said.
"We think he's Hotohori's long lost brother." Sakki agreed.
Nakago and Mitsukake stared at each other. "Maybe we are related…?"
"This scares me na no da." Chichiri remarked.
"Yep." Tasuki nodded.
Voldy decided to try strangling Nakago because she didn't like him very much. There was whatever noise a chi blast makes and Voldy flew into the wall.
"Look at all the pretty, shiny, bloody knives!" Voldy exclaimed as images of pretty, shiny, bloody knives circled her head. "They killed all the little birdies!"
"Can we get on with the game?!" 'Yui' demanded. "whose turn is it?"
**Sakki writes**
"Oh no you don't!!" Sakki said. "I get free reign now in this story since SSJA can't think of anything! Muhahahaha!"
"First…" Sakki pumped her fist in the air. "I am a goddess Second Class, Third Category! I am like Urd!" kukukuku! "I am gonna summon Ken from Weiss Kreuz!!"
(SSJA's Smartass corner: Seki Tomokazu plays Ken! And Chichiri! And some people from other shows! And stuff like that!)
"2 planets soon link together
hand in hand
they become one like lovers
take this wildly passionate me
and come to me
with me
in an imploding end!!
::SWIRL/SHINE::
"Kaiki kuso!"
"Now who is this lovely lady?" asked Yohji.
"Wahh! I wanted Ken! Not the playboy Yohji! L!"
**SSJA**
"Uhh…" SSJA muttered. "I sense a hentai! And I'm still bored, so I will entertain you all with the fact that Yohji is played by the same guy as—KEISUKE!"
Me=smartass. Me also=BORED. Me also also=afraid of the word imploding!
**Sakki**
"Wahh!! L I wanted Ken!" the psuedo goddess said.
**SSJA**
"How about a PLOT? Or something?" SSJA said. "And what about the FY people…?"
SSJA/'Yui' pointed at the confused characters.
"HUH no da?" Chichiri asked.
"ONE LETTER WORDS!" Voldy yelled. "Affairs with cats!"
"Shut up…" Somebody said.
"I'm bored…" 'Yui' muttered.
"It's OK." Sakki said 'nicely'. "You can always pack Suboshi."
SLAM!
Sakki flew into a wall.
"Much better." SSJA said,
**VOLDY**
"Can I ask someone now?" asked Voldy.
"Sure." Said SSJA.
Voldy smiled maniacally.
"Shit." Said SSJA.
Voldy started contemplating if she should dare Nakago to kill him himself or make Sakki eat pudding. Suddenly, two soulder consciences pop up on Voldy's shoulders. One said, "Make Sakki eat pudding in the name of um…NAMES!"
"Kill Nakago! He refused to give you torture tips in that other 'fic!"
"Stop confusing me! I'm running out of paper!" cried Voldy. "Shit. I don't have any…"
"paper!" said Voldy, erasing some unimportant French paper for space to write.
"Anyway, you should kill Nakago!" said the death-to-Nakago conscience.
"No. You need him fo rthe rest of the 'fic for plot reasons!" said the pudding conscience, stabbing the other conscience.
"You attempted to assault me!" said the kill-Nakago-shoulder-conscience.
Suddenly, Voldy's judge and lawyer consciences appear.
"This is confusing! Go to a court! Go poof and vanish!" yelled Voldy.
By now, everyone thought Voldy was a schizophrenic. Suddenly, the consciences went POOF.
"Finally!" said Voldy. "Ok, Sakki, Truth or Dare?"
"Dare." Said Sakki, hoping it would be to pack/fuck/have intercourse with Tasuki.
"You must eat…ONE OF THOSE PUDDINGS I BRING TO SCHOOL!" shouted Voldy, who started maniacally laughing.
"Not the chocolate pudding!" cried Sakki in fear/disappointment.
Suddenly, several bowls of chocolate pudding appeared.
"Ooh, food." Said SSJA.
Sakki is force fed pudding by Voldy and SSJA.
"Gwahh!" said Sakki.
2 hours later, Sakki was ready to vomit and there was pudding everywhere.
"Hey, Sakki, you can dare someone now." Said Voldy.
"I'm gonna hurl." Said SSJA.
"Tasuki, Truth or Dare?" asked Sakki.
"Dare." Said Tasuki.
"Oh shit." Said SSJA.
"I dare you to pack…"
"No…" said SSJA.
"A suitcase, pretending to go on a trip, except you must get this elephant--*elephant appears*--in the bag."
"Do you mean--?" asked SSJA.
"No." said Sakki.
"Oh." Said SSJA. "Thank God!"
**SSJA writes**
Tasuki looked very confused. "How the fuck am I supposed to get the damn elephant in the damn bag?"
"Don't ask me! It was *HER* idea!" Sakki glared at Voldy, because, knowing Sakki, she would injure Voldy for wasting her dare.
"Fight! Fight! Fight!" cheered 'Yui'/SSJA. "Fiiiight!"
"Be quiet, bloodthirsty child!" Voldy said.
"Fight!" insisted 'Yui' who just forgot any ideas she might have had a minute ago. ["Oh…I remember now…"]
While the room was temporarily thrown into chaos by a sleepwalking Chiriko, the 3 authors discussed a plot.
"Can't we do more stuff with shoulder conscience-y things?" Voldy asked.
Sakki glared at Voldy. "I could be packing Tasuki right now…"
"No." 'Yui' said. "We need something weird, hilarious…um…more weird and more hilarious!"
["…I don't trust either of you with the paper!"—Me, lunchtime.]
So, the three authors began talking about—whatever…
"Hmm…" 'Yui' said loudly so everyone could hear. "Maybe I should pack Suboshi!"
"WHAT?!"
"Just kidding!" 'Yui' exclaimed, now on the floor in hysterical laughter bordering on "passed out from lack of oxygen".
The 'oh-my-god-the-world-is-gonna-end' looks disappeared from Sakki's and Voldy's faces, while Suboshi looked extremely disappointed.
"Ahaha! The looks on your faces!!" 'Yui' kept laughing. "Ahahahahaha!!"
She passed out from lack of oxygen due to laughing and her face went from bright red back to normal.
[Damn! That was funny! Oh! You all fell for it, didn't you? Who's the comedian? Yeah! No one can stop the comedy! MWAHAHAHA!]
AND DID YOU KNOW? SAKKI'S REALTED TO…NAKAGO!
Hee hee hee! *Runs in fear of Sakki, Nakago and blue chi blasts*
Nakago stared at Sakki.
"Evidence!" cried out the Miko impersonator (who was now awake), presenting her list.
1. She has a mind obsessed with 'packing'.
2. She likes to torture people (in fanfics).
3. She gets people to do stuff for her (in art class).
4. She has parents who are related to Nakago/other Seiryu seishi.
5. She's violent.
6. She isn't nice to people, even if they're her friends.
7. She denies the evidence in #6.
8. She has a grudge against Tamahome—even though that's not a bad thing!
9. She likes really likes THOROUGHLY ENJOYS torturing people with songs.
10. She tries to kill people!
11. She talks about Disney movies—only the violent parts where people are stabbed, etc.
12. Her sister has blue eyes!
13. She tries to kill her sister's boyfriend. (Like Nakago tried to kill Tamahome.)
14. Thoroughly enjoys "packing".
15. She enjoys throwing people around.
16. She has a (fake) sword!
17. Threatens to kill people at least once twice A LOT OF TIMES during the day.
18. She could end up killing her friends!
19. But she doesn't and tells them to be happy that she doesn't! (As she said, denying #6, "I'm nice. I don't kill you.")
20. She holds grudges against her friends! (The Suboshi scene…all because you were Miaka for a short while…JUST SO YOU COULD 'PACK' TASUKI?! Very nice of you.)
Some characters backed a few steps away from Sakki, who glared at them.
"Who am I?" Voldy asked.
"No fair, I wanna be the Seiryu no Miko! It sounds fun!" 'Yui' complained, receiving strange looks.
"You are the Miko, Yui." Reminded Sakki.
"Oops." Said SSJA.
"Who am I?!" Voldy asked again and again. "ARGH! ANSWER ME!"
Suboshi was sitting in a corner, sulking, and wondering if "his Yui-sama was mentally OK."
(Of course I am…NOT! The day I'm mentally OK is the day…uh…I don't wanna say anything stupid like "That's the day I pack Suboshi!" because if I ever have a normal day, Sakki is going to remember that and start talking about it the whole day…So "The day I'm mentally OK is the day that something is wrong with the world!" Happy now? Good. Microsoft Word just called that a long sentence, and suggested I fix it. Stupid Paperclip guy…stupid grammar…BACK TO THE FIC!)
"HELLO!" Voldy yelled. "WHO AM I LIKE?! ARE YOU GOING TO ANSWER ME OR NOT?!"
"Is she…OK?" Mitsukake asked 'Yui'. "Is that a disease?"
"I don't think it's a disease…Voldy's always like that."
"Ah."
And so…I decide to END CHAPTER ONE! *GASP* Yep…now we don't have to carry around those papers in school—we can carry NEW papers! Writing in school is fun! ^_^
Explanation of inside jokes:
Pack: One day, Sakki was kind enough to inform SSJA and Voldy that "Pack that sheet!" said with an accent sounds like "Fuck that shit!" Enough said there.
Voldy's Pudding: Voldy is known for bringing strange lunches to school and Sakki is known for trying to eat some of it. As Voldy put at lunch one day… "[Sakki] Watch my stuff…[SSJA] Make sure she doesn't try to eat any of my lunch!" Hehehe.
Sakki is related to Nakago: During art, Sakki asks if SSJA makes fun of her for being stupid. SSJA is confused. Sakki says her mom said that she probably does. "Did you ever consider the fact that your mom is related to Nakago?" And so, if her mom is related to Nakago, Sakki must be, too. SSJA began compiling a list of evidence and the above mentioned list is what was the result.
Any seemingly random comments that are said during any of our fics are not just completely random. We usually talk WAY too much during lunch, and that stuff ends up finding some way into our fics. ^_^ I like writing notes for the readers! Hope you enjoyed this chapter of…FUSHIGI YUUGI TRUTH OR DARE! Review please!