Hey, it's SSJA!  Look at that, I just made a stupid rhyme.  Anyhow, that stands for SSJ Arcanine.  Super Saiya-jin Arcanine.  But spelling it out takes a while, so SSJA is much easier!  Well, it's been a while since I typed the fic and since we're on spring break now…  Drumroll, please!  *DRUMROLL*  (Thank you.)  As I was saying, now I'm typing the rest of the fic!  PRESENTING…THAT WEIRD FIC WE STARTED WRITING RIGHT BEFORE A STANDARDIZED TEST!!  Oh yes, and thanks to huffpuff for the ONLY review…*mock-tragic sigh* 

Fushigi Yuugi Truth Or Dare! Fanfiction Wars!

Multi-Author Insanity!

Chapter 2: The Rest Of Part One!

(Voldy writes)

"Now for a change of scenery!" cried Voldy.

A dungeon background rolled in on wheels.

"Great pun," said SSJA sarcastically.

"Thank you." Said Voldy.

"Let's torture people!" said Voldy.

"Well, we don't have anything better to do!" said SSJA.

A cheer of joy emerged from several people, including Mitsukake's cat, which everyone then stared at.

"We'll have to take the stairs no da!" said Chichiri, find the elevator, created magically, was out of order.

Our heroes and/or villains continued to the dungeon. 

"Hey, Voldy, we'll need some assholes to torture." Said Sakki.

Suddenly, 4 bastards from their school appeared.

"Sorry, I could only get bastards, not assholes from school." Said Voldy.

"That's OK!  ^_^" said SSJA.

Voldy smiled a thin lipped smile, and her eyes got an evil shiney look to them.

"Vengeance (which both me and Voldy spelled wrong in the fic… --SSJA) is your friend." Said Voldy.

"Stop acting so goddamn ominous." Said either SSJA or Tasuki.

The assholes/bastards were strapped to the torture rack.

(SSJA writes)

SSJA rolled her eyes.  "This is boring!  It's just Voldy-fun!  Can we do something funny?  Or…oh…whatever…"

"I call thee 'Depression Corner'!" 'Yui' said in mock-enthusiasm, and sat down, sulking, next to Suboshi—also sulking.  "Anybody else think that this fic is going nowhere fast?"

She held up a plane ticket that said:

Fanfiction

Destination: Nowhere

Speed: Fast, or No, we're not on it.

Everyone groaned at the bad joke.  Sakki went over to 'Depression Corner' because she wasn't packing Tasuki.  [This is where the insane part begins, and I started to write all over the page…]

[Hmm…If lightning never strikes in the same place twice, what about inspiration? … …  My teacher just said something about 'energy transfer' in science.  … …  I'm tired and I want my books!]  *Weird arrow pointing to a sentence somewhere else on the page*  Sakki's going to laugh now…because one type of energy transfer is conduction—direct contact. 

[Actually, I'm ranting about how evil Sakki is because of what she wrote in "Mysterious Crisis…" which is henceforth called The Part With The Wall.  Yes, I gave it a stupid name with capital letters and whatever.]

"OH TASUKI!" said Sakki.

"No!  Don't go!  I'm bored and I'm stuck sitting in a corner!" SSJA complained.

Sakki walked off with Tasuki.

"I hate you…"  (But for some stupid reason, I forgot to add in 'SSJA muttered under her breath' and Sakki thought that she said that.  Which led to—well—the next part of the fic.)

**Sakki writes**

"…So much that I'm going to fuck Nakago and Suboshi simultaneously just to SPITE YOU!  (Insert inappropriate sentence here, that should really only be mentioned in health class…)!"

SSJA fell to the floor totally green and said, "I think I'm gonna have a seizure…"

**SSJA writes**

"I think she's dead…" Voldy remarked.  "I get her stuff!"

While Sakki and Voldy argued about who got what, Suboshi peered down at the unconscious 'Yui'.

"Yui-sama?"

"No, I get her laptop!" Sakki argued.

"I do!" Voldy argued.

"Ugh…hentai…" the unconscious 'Yui' muttered.

"Yui-sama's alive!"

"Damn…" muttered Sakki, the murderer who is related to Nakago.

"Damn hentai Sakki!" exclaimed SSJA after recovering.  "Is there anything to eat here?  I want to eat something before I injure her…"

SSJA got up and started to go look for the kitchen.  "Wait a sec…I don't trust Sakki!  Come on Suboshi, must find kitchen!"

[This was before lunch, and I was really hungry…Speaking of that blessed, wonderful time of the school day, that was when we talked a lot and Voldy decided to write this somewhat entertaining yet sickening scene of doom.  I'm censoring it and you can't stop me!  *Sticks tongue out at Voldy and Sakki*  Me no like hentai.]

**VOLDY**

"Hey, Nakago, do you want to pack?" asked Sakki.

"Umm…" said Nakago.

"Good.  I'll meet you in the bathroom in 10 minutes." Said Sakki.

Nakago hobbled off to the bathroom.  Sakki ran over to Suboshi and asked, "Do you wanna pack?"

"What the heeeell—" said Suboshi as Sakki dragged Suboshi into the bathroom. 

On the way, she stopped to grab 'Yui'.  Voldy chuckled and decided not to make a comment because then it would happen.  [Arcanine's note: What, like "have fun"?  Because I'm damn glad you didn't say that…]

In the bathroom, we find 'Yui' trying to break down the door while a nude Suboshi is attempting to take her clothing off her.  "AAAH!  Save me!" screamed 'Yui'.  Voldy wondered how Tasuki felt about this. 

"Yui-sama, are you trying to evade me?" asked Suboshi.  [Arcanine's note: Well, to put it nicely…YES!]

Sakki and Nakago are in a Jacuzzi and Voldy is writing what is going on between the two of them.  Arcanine, however, has recently reacquired her hentai-phobia and is NOT about to scar herself/the readers for life by typing this.  It's NOT a pretty sight.  *Once more, sticks tongue out at Voldy and Sakki* 

"I'm gonna hurl!" said 'Yui' just as Voldy opened the door so she may (??  I can't read Voldy's handwriting!) get out just before Suboshi could reach for her undergarments.  [Arcanine's note: *Lets out breath she was holding*  I'm saved!]

(Sakki and Nakago do bad things.)

'Yui' threw on her clothing and went to go cower in a corner where Suboshi could not find her.  Nakago and Sakki **continued to do things that are bad and shouldn't be talked about in fanfiction**. 

Voldy had been sharpening a dagger the whole time, this is completely irrelevant.  Sakki and Nakago had finally redressed, Nakago was never the same [does Voldy know what Nakago and Soi do quite frequently?], Sakki had a little variety, Suboshi was disappointed, 'Yui' was relieved and Voldy was impressed with what she could write.  [Which you will not see due to hentai-ness.]  Tasuki was jealous, and Chichiri was missing in action.

"Um…That wasn't really how I wanted space to be filled." Said SSJA.

"Tee hee." Said Voldy.

"That was interesting." Said Tasuki, glaring at Nakago.

"I'll make it up to you, Tasuki!" said Sakki.

"NOT AGAIN!" yelled SSJA, before anything could happen she locked all the doors and melted the keys with a candle.  "Oh shit, now I'm stuck in the same room as you guys!"

"Abso-fucking-lutely!" said Voldy.  "Quite literally."

**SSJA, relieved at not having to face Suboshi, finally gets to write something.  And yes, I was talking in third person again…**

"The only thing that will stop me from killing you, Voldy, is the fact that you 'saved' me." 'Yui' said with a glare.  "BUT WHY DIDN'T YOU DO SOMETHING SOONER?  WHY THE HELL WERE YOU SHARPENING YOUR GODDAMN DAGGER?!"

SSJA momentarily transformed back to her author self and went SSJ3, launching ki blasts at everything in sight.  Then she went back to 'normal' and began ranting senselessly about thinking she heard Sakki talk about kodoku at lunch. 

To temporarily prevent all hell from breaking loose, 'Yui' put on headphones and started singing 'Flying Away' from Gundam Wing.  It's stuck in my head!! 

"I'm sick of that song now…" 'Yui' muttered and threw the headphones across the room, which conveniently hit Voldy and Sakki on the heads in the process.

"And why is Chichiri missing in action?  Hentai Voldy!"

**Sakki wrote this while SSJA was absent for 4 days…This was all that she wrote in four days!**

Then Yohji jumped out of nowhere and latched onto…Sakki's chest!  "Aww…Come on baby…You did it with that guy why don't you do it with me?"  When you expected Sakki to say 'yes' the total opposite happened.  "HENTAI!" followed by a magnificent right uppercut. 

"Hentai?" SSJA said indignantly.  "You're the hentai!" 

"Oh…would you like someone to latch onto your chest?  But then yours isn't half as nice as mine!"

**SSJA writes**

SSJA began thinking just how odd Sakki was, and ran off to ask Chichiri if he could put up wards against the hentai stuff.  Sakki ran after, of course, because it's all just a conspiracy, isn't it?  Along the way, Voldy didn't have much time in the fic because nobody knows where she is.

**Voldy writes**

"I'm in the locked room with all of you!" said Voldy, stabbing a rat and watching as blood spewed everywhere and its intestines seeped out of a bloody gash on its underbelly.

"Ewww…" said someone.

"Hey, SSJA." Said Voldy.  "Remember that time when we heard that song and you said that Nakago—"

Noticing that Nakago was asleep and couldn't hear her, Voldy decided not to finish the sentence.

"So now what?" asked SSJA.

"Well, we're stuck in a big room with no food—" said Voldy.

"NO FOOD?!" asked SSJA.  "AHHHHHH!"

"Can't we use our author powers?" Asked Sakki.

"Or break down the door!" suggested Voldy.

Voldy searched the room for something to kill since she had an extremely high blood lust right now.  Sakki hadn't had her fill of hentai-ness for better or for worse.  This frightened SSJA. 

Voldy saw Mitsukake's cat and thought about slicing his head off but realized that SSJA wouldn't let her.  Voldy couldn't find anything so was about to gash a shrieking, nonexistent hamster, which was actually a salami sandwich SSJA had managed to find.  [Arcanine's note: I don't like salami, actually…]

"NOOO!  That's our only food!" cried SSJA, stopping Voldy from impaling the sandwich.

Right now everyone was extremely hungry even if they didn't like salami.

Sakki wondered if she would have to feed Tasuki.

SSJA wondered what that meant.

Voldy decided not to tell her.  [Arcanine says!  And SSJA was happy she didn't have to find out.] 

"Do we have a phone?" asked Voldy.

"We're in ancient China!" said Sakki.

"Then we can't order a pizza." Said a disappointed Voldy.  [Arcanine: Yes, we can!  Just look at Mysterious Crisis!]

Suddenly, a mob of smiling, really cute small children appeared.

"Aaaah!" cried Voldy.  "My evil nemesis!"

"Boo!" said Voldy, and the small children scattered and screamed in fear.

Voldy laughed.

"You don't like small children no da!" said Chichiri.

Voldy suddenly thought of "3 Authors' Story Time!"

"Come on children, its SSJA, Sakki and Voldy's story time!" said Voldy, dragging her 2 friends over.  [Arcanine: With friends like you guys, who needs enemies?]

"YAY!" said the small children.

"Now Sakki will tell a story." Said Voldy, elbowing her.

"Um…Once upon a time there was a…um…" started Sakki.

"Pirate King!" cried out the small children.

"OK.  There was a pirate king and he had a ship and a lot of treasure and a loyal army.  But he was lonely." Said Sakki.  [Arcanine: You know where this is going…]

"That's so sad." Sobbed the small children.

"Then he found a bride and they made passionate love and fucked a lot.  The End." Said Sakki.

"What does that mean?" asked the small children.

"You're on your own!" said SSJA to Sakki.

"It's when *yes, Voldy actually wrote this in the notebook…*"

"Sounds like fun!" said the small children.

"It is." Said Sakki.

"My turn!" said SSJA.  [Yes, please!  Anything but Sakki's storytelling!]  "Did you hear the joke about the broken pencil?"

"No." said the small children.

"It had no point!" said SSJA and the children found this hysterical.  Voldy whispered a joke to SSJA.

"Did you hear about the bad revolution joke?" asked SSJA.  "It was revolting!"

The children laughed again.

"I wanna go!" said Voldy to SSJA.

"One more joke." Said SSJA.

"OK." Said Voldy.

"Did you hear the joke about the ocean?  It's over your head!" said SSJA.  The small children still found it funny.

Voldy started, "Once upon a time, Penny Jack Rabbit and Phillip Squirrel were going to a picnic.  Suddenly Phillip stepped on a hand grenade and they were blown apart into little pieces and their insides scattered across the countryside.  The end."

The children winced.

**SSJA writes and is sorry she didn't blow up the small children with a bomb.**

"Can we say 'scarred for life'?" asked SSJA, thinking back to Sakki's "story".

"Scarred for life!" chorused everybody.

'Yui' gave them all the finger, took out a phone, and ordered a pizza.

As Sakki told her to write, some guy from Weiss Kreuz started to sing—extremely off-key and was worse-sounding than SSJA on drugs.  Not that SSJA has been on drugs, or tried to sing while on drugs, either. 

"He's going to scare away the pizza!" SSJA exclaimed.

"Pizza delivery!" someone called out at the door.

SSJA was restrained by half of the characters in the room while Sakki and Voldy went to retrieve—

"MY WONDERFUL PIZZA!" yelled SSJA, eating about half the pie in one mouthful.

"So!" she said.  "When's lunch?"

Everyone facefaulted/fell to the floor.

àIt was here that our beloved fic was stolen by one of greater evil than Voldy—SSJA and Sakki's social studies teacher!  Thankfully, SSJA only forgot to hand something in and was called in to the classroom while she and Sakki were in the library.  Nervous that it was about the fic, SSJA dragged Sakki along—where she promptly snatched the fic off the teacher's desk!  "YOU STOLE THE FIC?!"  "Yeah."  "O_O!"  Hehehe…it was kinda funny.  I'm happy, though.  We won't be sent away for mental help…yet.  On with the fic now!  ^_^

This was written at 11:30 at night!

"Anybody got some sake?" asked Tasuki.

"Here ya go!" SSJA said, pulling out a bottle from—uh—somewhere with sake?

Now, I'm only doing this for the sake of humor.  Yes, this is funny.  No, I don't like Suboshi…  ßRead before continuing to read the fic.

Yohji, who had joined what SSJA called 'sake-fest 2002!' was quite drunk.  He swayed around, trying to walk over to the first girl he saw.  Which was SSJA.

"I—uh—already have a boyfriend." 'Yui' exlaimed, running to hide behind Suboshi from the hentai psycho worse than Sakki.

"…" muttered Yohji, who was by now up to his 17th glass of sake.

Why hadn't he passed out?  A law of fanficion states that any anime character may get drunk at any time and not pass out until the end of the fic unless the author wants them to do so sooner.

"I'm going to pick up the developed pictures from this fic so I have control over the blackmail…" SSJA muttered.  Oh how glad I am that I have the original fic.

SSJA's eyes took on the Evil Glint™.  What evil thought(s) flashed through her head?  You know what?  I forgot!  "I'm tired…" muttered the fanfiction author who was writing at 11:45 PM.  "All you hentai people scare me, though."

Suddenly, Tokaki appeared!  Is there a reason?  Yes!  He has a cool name.  A very cool name no da!  Speaking of no da…

"Hey no da!" Chichiri exlaimed.  "Look what I found no da!  Some really hentai-ish tapes no da!"

Yep, SSJA very tired.  Delirious.  She grabbed Tasuki's fan.  "REKKA SHINEN!"

"On second thought, let's all watch a nice Disney movie no da…" said a fried Chichiri, holding up the ashes of his tapes.

Quite a few people in the room looked disappointed.

SSJA got Chichiri to put up wards around a bed so she could go to sleep. 

^_^ 

(The next day, when I continue writing, Voldy comes over, and more madness ensues!)

SSJA was entertained by dreams of revenge against Sakki and Voldy.  Speaking of Voldy, she was entertaining herself by scaring the small children.

"Yaaaahhh!" yelled the small children, running in fear.

A crowd of characters were crowded around Nakago, trying to illegally buy illegal kodoku (diedu, if you read the translated manga) from him. 

"Calm down, you'll all get the drug eventually." Nakago said, and thought to himself: This is going to be a very profitable enterprise. 

Sakki was on the 'line' to get some kodoku for Tasuki.  (SSJA: *gag*)

[SSJA, by now, has woken up.]

**Voldy writes!**

Voldy withdrew a dagger and sliced off a small child's head.  There was a bloody stump and all the children screamed.  Voldy on the other hand was laughing maniacally.  By this time, the small child population had decreased 80%.  Voldy innocently whistled and a cheap plastic halo appeared.  When no one was looking, Voldy chucked the halo.  Sakki finally got some kodoku.

"TASUKI!" she yelled.

SSJA finally decided to

**SSJA writes, and is angry that Voldy has left the sentence for her to finish**

--throw a party!  But then she realized that there was already a party going on!  Once more, SSJA contemplated revenge on Sakki and Voldy. 

Voldy will now be in bold, SSJA in regular because we switched off so frequently while she was over my house. 

Voldy wondered how she would get rid of the rest of the children.

"Kill 'em with a bomb!" yelled 'Yui' and the children yelled in fear (again).

Voldy grabbed the nearest child and strangled them slowly, then ripped their arm out of the child's sockets.

"Oooh, that's gotta hurt!" SSJA said.  "But not as much pain as the two of you will be in when I find suitable revenge!  Mwahaha!"

Voldy turned to Sakki.  "Are you sure she's not on anything?"

"I'll be sure to throw a party back in Prolingmon when I have my army." Said Voldy.  [Arcanine's note: Read Nesia Xavier Voldermort's story whose title I completely forgot at the moment to find out just what the heck Prolingmon is.  That's Voldy's pen name on ff.net, by the way.]

"But what the fuck does that have to do with anything?" inquired SSJA.

"I can kill you if I have to." Responded Voldy, smiling.

"Oh Seiryu!" SSJA said 'dramatically'.  "How did I get stuck with evil and hentai friends like you two, who both want to kill/torture me…"

"The forces of evil have triumphed!" Voldy yelled.  "Hah hah!"

"And I do NOT want to play melee!" SSJA yelled in Voldy's face.  (Super Smash Bros. Melee.)

"I got to summon skeletons!" (Gauntlet Dark Legacy.)

"Shut up."

Voldy notices only 10 small children left to haplessly murder.

"Please do something other than torture small children.  It's amusing and all, but gets kinda annoying with all the screaming." SSJA told Voldy, throwing a shoe at her head.

Voldy stabbed SSJA in the back and was dragged off to prison.

"Owie…" SSJA muttered.  "That's not nice…"

"YUI-SAMA!"  (Guess who?)

"Ow!  I'm going to kill Voldy's when she's out of prison." SSJA muttered.

(Poof, Voldy is back.)

"YOU STABBED YUI-SAMA!" yelled Suboshi.

[In 'reality', SSJA talks to huffpuff and Voldy pesters her to play Super Smash Bros. Melee.  SSJA keeps protesting, and Voldy decides to threaten her.  This is the result…]

Sakki and Tasuki were trying to educate the children.  Voldy's brain shut off and stayed off for a few hours. 

Suddenly, Suboshi yelled, "Please, Yui-sama, pack me."

SSJA found light bulb remains and used them on Suboshi.
            Voldy was about to attempt to erase herself with a pencil eraser when she thought to blackmail SSJA.  [Into playing Super Smash Bros. Melee.]

Suboshi gained consciousness and dragged 'Yui' to the corner of the room and gave her a pack of Mentos.

"Fooled you!" yelled Voldy.

"Much better!" exclaimed 'Yui' after eating a Mento.  "I'm still angry at Voldy, though."

The Mento acted like a senzu bean (DBZ!!) and healed the 'bloody gash' on her back.  (Big words are fun, you know!)

"What bloody gash?" asked Voldy.

SSJA pointed to a paragraph on the last page.  (Well, it was the last page when we were writing it on paper.)  "Oh." Said Voldy.  "That bloody gash…"

"Let's kill the children now!" said Voldy.

"VOL-DY!" complained SSJA, raising another shoe as if to throw it at her friend/enemy's head.  "Let's do something else! Maybe the small children can get BBQ'd later!  Mmm…"  Voldy pulled out a grill.

"I'm not hungry." Said SSJA.  "Anyway, they'll get cold." 

Voldy put the children in a cage and prodded them with sharp objects.

"Hey, that's cannibalism!  Feed 'em to the dogs!" cried SSJA.

Voldy decided to leave the room to find more evil supplies to use to torture the little children.  For a strange reason…

"Hey, Voldy!  Quit bitch-slapping the door!" SSJA yelled, laughing.

(Previously, when we were playing Gauntlet Dark Legacy, Voldy's character was the Sorceress and she was trying to knock down a door.  Her character began frantically SLAPPING the door and broke it down.  It was…weird.)

Voldy responded by kicking the door down violently to feed the children to the dogs.  And of course, she made sure to evilly lock SSJA in when she closed it.

"Ha ha ha.  Feast, dogs, feast!  Feel the fresh blood of your kill flowing through your teeth!  The joy of hapless killing!" yelled Voldy.

"Voldy's sure having fun, fun, fun…" SSJA said.  "Very bloodthirsty she is…"

Some other people were also having fun.

"Sakki…"

"Tasuki…"

"What?"

"We need to get more condoms, only 2 left!"

SSJA hurled.

(Voldy left after she wrote that, leaving me with the story for the rest of the spring break.  *Evil laugh*  And now…madness continues to ensue!)

"Yep, thanks.  Just HAD to know the details.  Details are evil.  I don't like them very much.  Nope.  Dude is a word, dude is a word!  Details are annoying, and dude is a word!  You don't like my song?  Go to hell!  MWAHAHA!!  Did you know that dude rhymes with food, and I like food, especially M&Ms!  They taste really good!  And Mentos!" 'Yui' said.

"Did anyone understand her no da?" asked Chichiri.

"Uh huh." Said Suboshi.  "Something about details, the word dude, sending people to hell and M&Ms and Mentos, which both taste good."

"I suppose now you think you're so smart no da!" Chichiri retorted.

"I will now serenade you all on my wonderful flute!" Amiboshi said loudly.

"Aniki must have had some of that sake." Suboshi said.

"Shut up." Amiboshi told anyone who was trying to talk.

Voldy walked up to a nearby seishi—Tamahome—and pointed at SSJA.  "I'm blackmailing her to play video games!"

"Not yet!" retorted 'Yui'.

"Keyword…yet!" Voldy exclaimed.

Sakki was feeling left out of the conversations but SSJA decided to let her stay with Tasuki so she'd shut up.

"Well!  We're surely seeing the elephant now!" exclaimed some weird guy from the Oregon Trail (computer game).

Yes.  Someone ACTUALLY says that in the game.  o_O  Weird, ain't it?

To make things stranger, the elephant Tasuki was supposed to pack into the suitcase ran through the room and trampled some people in the process.

END OF CHAPTER ONE!  Review it, please!  ^_^  Chapter 3 will be an "interesting" summary of who is doing what at the moment.  Coming up next—jokes with kodoku and sugar water, and the game continues!  And possibly more jokes, with or without kodoku and sugar water!  Yes, we are normally this weird, and it's damn fun!  So, are you going to review…?  :)