The Usual Pre-Fic Note: Be prepared for a weird chapter! My friends decide to torture me. Oh joy. Note the sarcasm. There are a few funny scenes, which were mostly written by ME. Because I'm funny and they just write hentai… *sigh* Enough of my 'tragic tale'…you'll see for yourselves. I won't even bother to say who's writing what anymore.
The Fourth Chapter
I'd Give It A Title But I'm Too Grossed Out At The Moment
"Uh…I have no idea…Let's have a packing spree!" Sakki said.
SSJA facefaulted and gave a sigh of relief. No, wait. Scratch that. It just meant that Sakki would probably write something hentai at lunch and make me lose my lunch.
"You want to have a packing spree?!" demanded SSJA. "Didn't you just finish up with Tasuki?"
"Uh…yeah." Sakki said.
I'm bored beyond boredom! Help meee! Boredom!!
SSJA walked around aimlessly because she was bored. "Blah blah blah…"
Soi walked over to Tomo. "Your seishi power stinks and you're a smelly asshole!"
Hehe… And the 2 began fighting to the death, but that's for another fanfic. Gaaah! No ideas!
"Hey, Yui-sama, do you want any more sugar water?" Suboshi asked 'innocently'.
"No." she replied.
"Damn it…" he muttered.
"I wanna pack!!!" Sakki wailed. "Oh! Yeah! *Insert ranting that SSJA doesn't understand about some fic she's reading*!"
"Yeah, whatever. Your turn to dare someone." SSJA said.
"OK…Suboshi go pack Soi…And Soi don't back out since you were seducing the little boys at the camp with Tessou…" Sakki said. (**THE BASARA! Ryuusei Den!** ^_^)
"Him?!" Soi asked, slightly disgusted that it was Suboshi instead of Nakago.
"Soi?!" asked Suboshi in horror, certain that his dare would have been to do one of a number of things to 'Yui'.
Plus the fact that him and many other people were scared of Soi. *Arcanine runs away before Soi can hit her with lightning*
"I have an idea…" 'Yui' said, and whispered to the two victims who looked happier afterwards.
"What did you tell them?!" Sakki asked, her eyes narrowing as she glared at 'Yui'.
"Can't tell ya!" SSJA said cheerfully, and handed out earplugs after putting some in herself.
When they returned, Voldy announced, "I wanna dare Nakago!"
"I dare you to live with small children for a week!"
Everyone gasped in horror and shock. Then they cheered and shoved Nakago out the door. Voldy followed to set up the proper evil spells that would prevent Nakago from killing the children. Hehehehe…
"Now that you can't do anything about it," SSJA told Sakki. "I just told them to make it sound like they were 'packing', but not to actually do it."
"What?! You ruined it!" Sakki yelled angrily.
"That was the point." SSJA responded. "My revenge will be messing stuff up…"
"Which means I can mess up MORE things!" Sakki retorted.
"I won't give you the website with Genrou Den on it!" SSJA said.
"Back!" Voldy exclaimed, turning on the TV (yes, the one and only TV in ancient China!), and watching Nakago get attacked by the small children.
"Daddy Nakky, tell us a story!"
"Ok…How about one about Tenkou?" (At least it's not one about the Kuto Emperor!!)
SSJA got bored and went to sleep.
The small children became frightened by "Daddy Nakky's" story about Tenkou.
Voldy laughed.
Sakki looked for Tasuki.
Amiboshi was in a corner of the room, playing his flute.
"Shut up!" Sakki yelled, unable to find Tasuki, due to the fact that he was in the "little bandit's room". (Bad joke, yes…but still, kinda funny.)
"I'm trying to plan revenge, too…" Sakki added.
"She's asleep." Voldy pointed.
[Yes, this is self-bashing. I was so bored, and this idea popped into my head. The little hentai voice in my head doesn't like me, either!]
"Quick, grab the camera! Not the video camera, the regular one!" Sakki instructed.
I have no idea WHY I'm writing this…and my 8th period class is sooo annoying…!
Voldy arrived with the camera just in time to see:
SSJA beat the crap out of the people in her 8th period class and blast their remains to little pieces with ki blasts. To see Sakki drag a sleeping Suboshi over to 'Yui' and take a bunch of pictures."Blackmail!" They cheered.
Please repeat step one a few more times, they're trying to steal my manga!
"Who's next?" asked Sakki.
"We have to wait for Nakago to come back no da!" said Chichiri.
"Let's all sleep for a while!" Voldy said.
And they did. When everyone woke up, a very ragged looking Nakago said, "Those children are so…"
"Deadly?" Voldy asked.
Nakago nodded.
"Why do you think I kill them?" Voldy replied.
"Chichiri," said Nakago. Chichiri looked nervous.
[Insert scene where SSJA yells that some ass from school touched her FY manga #6…the ones with the twins! And it had Ryuuseisui in about 4 different places! Well…scratch that. It had the twins and showed Ryuuseisui a few times.]
"Now, what are we doing, again?" SSJA asked.
"Nakago's daring Chichiri to do something." Said Voldy.
"Chichiri, I dare you to pack Sakki!" said Nakago and everyone gasped, except Voldy, who was enjoying torturing everyone through Nakago. SSJA got bored and decided to skip the next part because it makes no sense.
[insert blank space at the bottom of the page, which nobody ever wrote in.]
[insert weird things on the side of the page, drawn by Voldy, and a note by SSJA reading "What's with the weird symbols, Voldy?]
Suddenly, Voldy and Sakki caught SSJA defenseless and wildly beat her with manga and textbooks. [SSJA: Oh, look at what nice friends I have…]
"Unfair! Two against one! And I don't even have a weapon!" 'Yui' yelled, attempting to fend off the blows from the manga/textbooks.
She ran to find some weapons of her own. "Where do they keep the weapons…?!"
"Yui-sama, I'll save you!" Suboshi exclaimed, attacking pretty much everyone in sight with Ryuuseisui.
'Yui' found some garden tools and proceeded to have a war with her friends. Suboshi, unable to resist using garden tools as weapons, joined in. Everyone else looked on and thought they were completely crazy—which they were. (I'm bored, ya know! Dubbed Chichiri, ya know!! Scary…)
"Ahhh!" they all yelled SIMULTANEOUSLY as a very large ki blast sped by.
"Will you stop that?!" Nakago demanded.
"They started it!" whined SSJA. "I was DEFENDING myself!"
"…" Nakago said.
"Weren't we playing the game?" SSJA asked, because she was still bored and trying to stick to the "plot". "It's—um—someone's turn. I don't know! Somebody dare someone else!"
Silence.
{Art class déjà vu!} "Did you all know Sakki wrote a corny fic?" SSJA began talking. "And it was corny! And sappy romantic-y!"
"Shut up!" yelled Sakki.
Let's describe the scene, shall we? Just a day or two before, I finally got my notebook back from Sakki that they were writing the "Mysterious Crisis" fic in. She wrote 3 pages or so in…about 3 months! And it was a romantic-y thing, and so I had to make fun of it. You know, my duty as a humor writer and funny person. Unfortunately, Sakki doesn't like criticism very much. Lunch time, and Sakki is reading the two or three sentences above. Grabbing a pen, Sakki writes more in one class period or so than she had in three months. Do I feel special? No, not really. To make matters worse, Voldy joined in on "Let's Torture Arcanine!" What you are about to read is NOT what I wrote. My evil friends did. Anything that I wrote when I managed to steal our little fic back will be in italics, ok? Good. And I dare you to understand what Sakki wrote. …In your face, Sakki and Voldy! I have enough guts to type this!
"Shut up!" yelled Sakki. "Into the Hentai torture chamber of doom! KUKUKUKUU!!"
Sakki then proceeded to drag 'Yui' and whispered something shortly in Suboshi's ear. Then came to drag Tasuki. Suboshi escorted Sakki toward a big iron door that had kanji engraved on it saying "Hentai". Sakki pushed Suboshi in and tossed SSJA in, then closing the iron door with an audible SLAM! Then took a lot of chains and wrapped them around the door, ensuring that her victims couldn't escape. Then Sakki put on the air exhaust so her victims could breathe. "No one can stop me now!! Kukukukukuku!"
"….Are we gonna fuck, baby??" Tasuki asked. Sakki replied, "Be patient…We're going to watch them now." Sakki walked over to a room that said viewing. Sakki walks in with Tasuki following her. Then in the middle of the room was a big cushy chair with LOTS of TVs lined up. Sakki pushed Tasuki into the chair. Then she turned on the TV We see Suboshi buck naked and fully aroused waiting. While SSJA tied up, suspended in air, her mouth duct-taped closed. SSJA was naked as well, the rope holding spread apart. [Did anyone understand that last sentence??] Her legs were spread apart as well. Sakki turned her back from the scene and addressed Tasuki. "Let's watch this first, okay?" said Sakki. Then she picked up a mike and spoke into it. "Okay Suboshi, you can start now." Suboshi snapped out of his reverie and proceeded to….
I am going to kill Sakki. [That was when I found the story and grabbed it to see what Sakki wrote. It was all I had the chance to write before Voldy and Sakki attacked me and made me give it back.]
Have 'fun'! "Yui-sama! I swear to you that you will like what I'm going to do!!" said Suboshi dramatically all the while shaking a can of whipped cream.
switch screen
We see Sakki & Tasuki [Yes, there was no end to this sentence.]
SSJA & Suboshi screen
Suboshi is putting whipped cream on 'Yui's' breasts and licking it off.
SSJA felt sickened and was happy, Happy, HAPPY that her mouth was taped shut.
Sakki's voice said loudly (with the microphone) "And that's only the beginning!" {As said in art class}
SSJA gulped and swore under her breath. "With friends like you, I don't want to meet my enemies."
"Ohhh… 'Yui', while you're being…I mean, having 'fun'! I'll watch you and have fun as well!" (That would be Sakki.)
"Whaaat?! I'm not having FUN!" 'Yui' attempted to yell through the duct tape but it came out as "Mmmph! Hdlfmdrfm Hmmerghf!"
"KUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUK!!" went Sakki through the loud speaker, thoroughly enjoying her friend's torture.
"Did you say something, Yui-sama?"
"MPH…" (No…)
"What?"
"(Nothing)"
"Ok…? Let's continue!" said Suboshi happily.
"(No, let's not!)"
"Don't mind her Suboshi! She's trying to say that she likes it!" blared Sakki.
"OK!" went Suboshi.
"Mph." Muttered 'Yui', which translates to things that should not be said in fanfiction, real life or not at all.
The translation of her words appeared on Sakki's evil TV. Sakki picked up the microphone and began to describe in nauseating detail what the next bit of 'fun' would be.
'Yui' swallowed and narrowed her eyes evilly. 'At lunch, I will make Sakki choke on her food. (By the way: It didn't work.)
As Suboshi listened to Sakki, his eyes went wide. "We're going to have LOTS of fun, Yui-sama!"
'Yui' shook her head. "I hate ropes…" she muttered, attempting to untie herself.
"That's the point!" yelled Sakki, when she saw the words on her evil TV of doom.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious!" SSJA thought, remembering his newest fic idea was about who Captain Obvious really was. But that's another fic.
Voldy suddenly appeared and yelled, "Bulma's Magic Rope™!"
SSJA rolled her eyes. Voldy realized that she forgot Sakki and Tasuki were naked and quickly put on blinders. While Voldy watched SSJA being tortured, she wondered about the best form of government for the Realm of Darkness: anarchy, democracy, etc. MONARCHY.
"How the hell is there a democracy in the Realm of Darkness?!" Said Sakki.
[Insert comment that's too much of a stupid joke to write.] Voldy, of all people, wrote this next part. Yes, Voldy. The psycho, violent maniac who apparently can write hentai as long as it involves torturing her friend. *Sigh* And then this tortured friend is tortured even further by having to type it…
"Here." Said Suboshi, putting on a condom before he thrust himself into 'Yui'.
"(Noooooooooooooooo!)" cried SSJA in a panic.
"I'm so glad you are enjoying yourself, my Yui-sama!" said Suboshi. "I am too!" he added.
Sakki laughed maniacally. Voldy felt bad for SSJA but then realized she could get back at her for all those times SSJA hit her on the head with no reason. Suboshi withdrew himself.
"Wasn't that fun, Yui-sama?" yelled Suboshi. "Let's do that again!"
"Actually, I think I'll use more whipped cream!"
After that, 'Yui' found herself almost completely covered in whipped cream. A bottle of fudge fell from a slot in the ceiling.
"Thank you, Sakki!" yelled Suboshi, adding the fudge to 'Yui'.
"Mmm…" said Suboshi, licking off the whipped cream and fudge.
"Mmmph!" said 'Yui' which meant "mmmph!"
"Do you think we've tortured her enough, Sakki?" asked Voldy.
"Nope." Said Sakki.
"She must suffer!" she added.
"When can we fuck?" asked Tasuki.
"Later." Said Sakki.
"Never!" said Voldy.
Suboshi and SSJA
(But SSJA managed to get the story before Voldy could write any more! Kwaa ha! And decided to stop writing in italics…!)
SSJA "blink-blinked" multiple times as she sat at the desk in her 8th period. o_O (Insert rant that has nothing to do with anything at all here.)
'You should all be very happy for duct tape, or I'd be cursing worse than Tasuki!' 'Yui' thought to her "friends". 'I'm going to be sooo traumatized…"
(Insert ANOTHER rant, this time, one that has to do with the fact that I write funny scenes and all they write is stupid, evil hentai.)
"And you should think twice before insulting my story." Sakki replied.
"Or hitting me on the head." Voldy agreed.
"You don't see ME writing elaborate hentai torture scenes, do you?" muttered 'Yui' and she continued to think of a way to escape.
"Let's see…tied up, mouth duct-taped shut, 'psycho yo-yo boy', evil hentai-minded friends watching—and bent on revenge—I'd say that my chances of escape are…" thought 'Yui'.
"Zero?" asked Sakki through the microphone.
And we take you LIVE to the hentai room where a nauseated SSJA/'Yui' attempts to think up an escape plan!
"There is no escape!" Sakki and Voldy said evilly, for probably the 12th time.
"Inhale…exhale…inhale…exhale…" SSJA thought to herself, attempting to remain calm. Note the 'attempting to'.
"Now feel my vengeance!" said Voldy maniacally pressing a button. It then rained Mentos and M&Ms.
"Mmm…" 'Yui' said (and it came out just like that). "(Wait! Damn duct tape…)"
Voldy laughed loudly and 'Yui' continued to stare at the M&Ms and Mentos that were being wasted.
[Thou shalt not waste sugar.]
"(Fooooood!)" exclaimed 'Yui', shooting death glares at Sakki and Voldy.
"I'm done now." Said Voldy, going to set up an assassin's guild/kodoku black market with Nakago. Nakago only did this because he gets 50% of profits.
Hentai Room
Suboshi is sleeping.
"OK. You've had enough!" said Sakki.
Everyone put on their clothes and was rather deranged.
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU SAKKI!" yelled SSJA, running after her.
"AAAGGH!" yelled Sakki as SSJA was strangling her.
"STOP IT!" yelled Voldy, who suddenly ran in. "Hire an assassin instead!" she added.
Everyone ran to Voldy and Nakago's Assassin Guild and Kodoku black market™. Suboshi and Tasuki were on line for kodoku and SSJA and Sakki were trying to see who would get on Voldy's line first.
"Welcome to Voldy's Assassin's Guild™!" cried Voldy. "Here we have many high quality assassins you can choose from."
3 curtains appeared. Voldy continued, "Behind curtain number one, we have…" The curtain opened.
"Bobofet! He enjoys working for Sith lords and hunting down Jedi, Princesses and smugglers." People applaud. Curtain 2 opens.
"This is Fat Bastard. He enjoys eating babies and uses the smell of his crap!"
"Could he eat Baby?" asked SSJA. (BTW: Baby is a villain from Dragon Ball GT. Either that, or his name is Bebi, or a dozen other things…)
"Yes!" said Voldy.
"Now for our final assassin you can choose today! Her name is Cailya!" cried Voldy as the curtain opened to reveal an elf in a black robe holding a dagger.
"She knows a wide variety of poisons and has a magic poison dagger!" Added Voldy. "So, SSJA, do you pick 1, 2, or 3?"
Some voices yelled, "2…3…pick 1…pick 8!"
"Um…" said SSJA.
"Uh…3!" she cried.
"You have picked assassin number 3, Cailya the elf!" said Voldy. "Money please."
"What?!" asked SSJA.
"You pay ½ first, then the other half once the victim is dead." Said Voldy.
"Um…how much does this cost?"
"$75."
"So I pay $37.50."
"Yup."
SSJA decided not to hire an assassin because that would take away the fun of hurting Sakki herself!!
Meanwhile, Sakki gets angry that Voldy wrote about letting SSJA out of the Hentai Room.
Stay tuned for the next installment of our insane little fic! ~Review please!~