Auther's note: 'Scuse ze typos. Anyway, this is a little 'fic I wrote for
my friends, so please ignore the lack-there-of charrie descriptions,
because my friends already knew what the Fushigi Yuugi charries looked
like. Anyway, This takes place after the main story, and before the OVA.
Enjoy!
~Parody…twice over…Daaa…~
"NURI-I-I-IKO!!"
There was an extremely loud yell, sounding like the battle cry of the Amazon tribe. Unfortunately, the sound was emitted from my girlfriend. I winced, and shuddered.
"SORRY, MIAKA!" Came Nuriko's response. Why must they scream their conversations? Is it necessary just to get your point across?
"THAT'S ALRIGHT!!"
I pity the others. They don't know about the trials, the pain…the whining. Yes, even I, the great and ever so wonderful Tamahome got annoyed with Miaka. She just didn't stop. Gods, and the food she consumes... She's going to run me out of house and home when we get married - or, as Miaka has been referring to it: 'When we dun get hitched.' I think Chichiri said that it was a southern accent she was taking on, but I really don't know. All I know is that she has ceased to make sense.
So, that is why I, the great and ever so wonderful Tamahome, have a migraine.
"Tama-a-a-a-a-a!! Yer grub dun got fixed!" Miaka burst into the door, looking harried, probably the thought of food so close nearly killing her.
I, the great and ever so wonderful Tamahome, looked up and snapped, "Don't call me Tama! I'm not a cat!"
Miaka blinked, "Tamahome…"
Oh God, it was…. THE POWER!! Whenever Miaka said my name, the Power consumed any rational thought, and the need to respond with her name was too great. "…Miaka…"
She was trying to fight it too; "Tamahome."
"Miaka."
"Tamahome."
"Miaka."
"Tamahome…."
"Miaka…"
"Ta-"
The door slammed open suddenly, and Nuriko entered, "I thought Miaka went to tell you that supper was-What the hell? Oh no, you guys haven't started the name thing again, have you?"
Miaka nearly fainted when she couldn't finish her fragment sentence. "- MAHOME!"
Dear God, why wouldn't she stop?? Only, I couldn't either… "MIAKA!!"
"PEOPLE! Come ON! Get a hold of yourselves!" Nuriko rubbed his temples… "Dinner's ready, we're waiting. You can start up the name thing some other time… It's not like Miaka to be late for dinner…"
All through supper we both had to struggle not to use eachother's names. So we contented ourselves with pointing and using "you"
Miaka eyed the noodles, which unfortunately were beside my plate, "T-I mean, person-guy sitting across from me, could you hand me the noodles?" She had begun to water at the mouth.
"Sure, Mi-er, Suzaku no Miko." I gave her the desired noodles, trying not to notice the odd stares we were getting.
Tasuki, with his mouth full, decided to point out the obvious, "Mpth mmth pthg!"
Chiriko patted him on the shoulder, "Chew an' swallow, man. Chew and swallow."
Mitsukake, who had an abnormally weird urge to say, "I didn't know he could talk." and "Shoka" every five seconds, said, "I didn't know he could talk."
"He has food in his mouth, Mitsukake. That's why he can't talk," Hotohori patiently explained.
With which Mitsukake immediately responded with, "Shoka."
Tasuki, who by now had swallowed, thanks to Chiriko's excellent advice, said "Yes, Shoka. Died a while back. Real sad."
Mitsukake had become confused, "I didn't know he could talk?"
"Humor him." Nuriko said to Tasuki under his breath.
"R-right. Um, I didn't know he could…talk either…" Tasuki twitched violently.
For which some reason Mitsukake burst into tears. Chiriko abruptly stood up and said, "You ALL are a bunch of nutcases! Look at you!"
Hotohori looked up at Chiriko in surprise, nearly dropping the comb he had been grooming his noodles with. "What do you mean, Chiriko?"
"I mean THIS! You're all just PATHETIC! And I think I am going to slit my wrists!" Chiriko hollered and ran out, plunging into a nearby lake.
Nuriko snorted, "What was his deal?"
"Maybe it was the noodles. I've had better." Miaka shrugged and continued eating.
Hotohori stopped combing his precious noodles to say, "Hey, where's Chichiri?"
"I think he's trying to find some decent car insurance prices." I said.
A very pale Chiriko, who was dripping wet, appeared in the doorway.
Tasuki grinned at him, "Chiri-man, what's up?"
Chiriko glared, "Chiriko - or Chiri-man as some of you prefer to call him - is dead! He drowned in the lake! I am the ghost of Chiri-man! Bow in my presence or I'll curse you all!"
Chichiri, who had FINALLY decided to show up said vacantly, "So… you mean that you don't sell car insurance, na no da?"
"No, I do not sell car insurance." Chiriko's ghost responded, "I am DEAD."
"But you don't sell car insurance, na no da," Chichiri asked again, wanting to be sure.
"NO. I DON'T SELL CAR INSURANCE."
"Great." Chichiri hopped out of the room, and out of the fic.
"Do you know Elvis?" Miaka inquired, absently chewing on a celery stick.
"I've only been dead five minutes, give me a break!" Chiriko said, exasperated. He shook his head and wandered off.
I scratched my head. "Wait, Chiriko died?"
Tasuki shoved me, "Where have you been? Chiri-man's been dead for a while now!"
"Five minutes," put in Hotohori.
"Yeah, five minutes."
Shrugging, I looked over at Miaka and asked, "Hey, where'd you get the celery, Miaka?"
There was dead silence, and Nuriko screeched, "You idiot!"
Miaka had gone into a trance, as had I, "Tamahome…"
"Miaka…"
"Tamahome…"
"Miaka…."
"CUT IT OUT!!!"
"Tamahome…"
"Mi-"
"STOP IT!!"
"-aka…"
"Tamahome…"
"I didn't know he could talk."
"Miaka…"
"Shoka?"
"Tamahome…"
"I DIDN'T KNOW HE COULD TALK!!!"
"Miaka…"
-Pause -
Just then, lo and behold, Nakago ran in. Much to Chichiri's delight, he was, in fact, selling car insurance.
"Na no DA!" were Chichiri's exact words.
Hotohori, who didn't need car insurance -- or ANY insurance, seeing as how he controlled it - said, "Why are YOU here, Nakago?"
Nakago rolled his eyes at Hotohori's extreme idioticness, replying, "I'm selling car insurance, you moron." Hotohori sniffed at his imprudence. Nakago then turned back to Chichiri and motioned to some papers he was signing.
Tasuki was busy making laud farting noises in the corner, for whatever reason… I really don't want to go there…
"Tama-"
"Oh, shut UP!" Nuriko snapped, exasperated.
Miaka sniffed, "Gomen nasai."
Tasuki made a particularly loud fart noise and said the most inane thing he could think of off of the top of his head, "I like rubber."
Mitsukake jumped up, and his eyes flashed dangerously, "Shoka?" he asked in a suspicious tone.
Tasuki threw his hands up. "Get off it, Mitsukake!"
Mitsukake recoiled, "I didn't know he could talk," he said meekly.
"HE CAN'T TALK, DAMNIT!"
Mitsukake was near tears. "S-s-shok-"
"SHUT THE HELL UP, MITSUKAKE!"
This was all Mitsukake could take, evidently, because he ran out, sobbing hysterically.
And I, the great and ever-so-wonderful Tamahome, said, "Miaka."
So, it starts all over again, once the first page is turned.
~Parody…twice over…Daaa…~
"NURI-I-I-IKO!!"
There was an extremely loud yell, sounding like the battle cry of the Amazon tribe. Unfortunately, the sound was emitted from my girlfriend. I winced, and shuddered.
"SORRY, MIAKA!" Came Nuriko's response. Why must they scream their conversations? Is it necessary just to get your point across?
"THAT'S ALRIGHT!!"
I pity the others. They don't know about the trials, the pain…the whining. Yes, even I, the great and ever so wonderful Tamahome got annoyed with Miaka. She just didn't stop. Gods, and the food she consumes... She's going to run me out of house and home when we get married - or, as Miaka has been referring to it: 'When we dun get hitched.' I think Chichiri said that it was a southern accent she was taking on, but I really don't know. All I know is that she has ceased to make sense.
So, that is why I, the great and ever so wonderful Tamahome, have a migraine.
"Tama-a-a-a-a-a!! Yer grub dun got fixed!" Miaka burst into the door, looking harried, probably the thought of food so close nearly killing her.
I, the great and ever so wonderful Tamahome, looked up and snapped, "Don't call me Tama! I'm not a cat!"
Miaka blinked, "Tamahome…"
Oh God, it was…. THE POWER!! Whenever Miaka said my name, the Power consumed any rational thought, and the need to respond with her name was too great. "…Miaka…"
She was trying to fight it too; "Tamahome."
"Miaka."
"Tamahome."
"Miaka."
"Tamahome…."
"Miaka…"
"Ta-"
The door slammed open suddenly, and Nuriko entered, "I thought Miaka went to tell you that supper was-What the hell? Oh no, you guys haven't started the name thing again, have you?"
Miaka nearly fainted when she couldn't finish her fragment sentence. "- MAHOME!"
Dear God, why wouldn't she stop?? Only, I couldn't either… "MIAKA!!"
"PEOPLE! Come ON! Get a hold of yourselves!" Nuriko rubbed his temples… "Dinner's ready, we're waiting. You can start up the name thing some other time… It's not like Miaka to be late for dinner…"
All through supper we both had to struggle not to use eachother's names. So we contented ourselves with pointing and using "you"
Miaka eyed the noodles, which unfortunately were beside my plate, "T-I mean, person-guy sitting across from me, could you hand me the noodles?" She had begun to water at the mouth.
"Sure, Mi-er, Suzaku no Miko." I gave her the desired noodles, trying not to notice the odd stares we were getting.
Tasuki, with his mouth full, decided to point out the obvious, "Mpth mmth pthg!"
Chiriko patted him on the shoulder, "Chew an' swallow, man. Chew and swallow."
Mitsukake, who had an abnormally weird urge to say, "I didn't know he could talk." and "Shoka" every five seconds, said, "I didn't know he could talk."
"He has food in his mouth, Mitsukake. That's why he can't talk," Hotohori patiently explained.
With which Mitsukake immediately responded with, "Shoka."
Tasuki, who by now had swallowed, thanks to Chiriko's excellent advice, said "Yes, Shoka. Died a while back. Real sad."
Mitsukake had become confused, "I didn't know he could talk?"
"Humor him." Nuriko said to Tasuki under his breath.
"R-right. Um, I didn't know he could…talk either…" Tasuki twitched violently.
For which some reason Mitsukake burst into tears. Chiriko abruptly stood up and said, "You ALL are a bunch of nutcases! Look at you!"
Hotohori looked up at Chiriko in surprise, nearly dropping the comb he had been grooming his noodles with. "What do you mean, Chiriko?"
"I mean THIS! You're all just PATHETIC! And I think I am going to slit my wrists!" Chiriko hollered and ran out, plunging into a nearby lake.
Nuriko snorted, "What was his deal?"
"Maybe it was the noodles. I've had better." Miaka shrugged and continued eating.
Hotohori stopped combing his precious noodles to say, "Hey, where's Chichiri?"
"I think he's trying to find some decent car insurance prices." I said.
A very pale Chiriko, who was dripping wet, appeared in the doorway.
Tasuki grinned at him, "Chiri-man, what's up?"
Chiriko glared, "Chiriko - or Chiri-man as some of you prefer to call him - is dead! He drowned in the lake! I am the ghost of Chiri-man! Bow in my presence or I'll curse you all!"
Chichiri, who had FINALLY decided to show up said vacantly, "So… you mean that you don't sell car insurance, na no da?"
"No, I do not sell car insurance." Chiriko's ghost responded, "I am DEAD."
"But you don't sell car insurance, na no da," Chichiri asked again, wanting to be sure.
"NO. I DON'T SELL CAR INSURANCE."
"Great." Chichiri hopped out of the room, and out of the fic.
"Do you know Elvis?" Miaka inquired, absently chewing on a celery stick.
"I've only been dead five minutes, give me a break!" Chiriko said, exasperated. He shook his head and wandered off.
I scratched my head. "Wait, Chiriko died?"
Tasuki shoved me, "Where have you been? Chiri-man's been dead for a while now!"
"Five minutes," put in Hotohori.
"Yeah, five minutes."
Shrugging, I looked over at Miaka and asked, "Hey, where'd you get the celery, Miaka?"
There was dead silence, and Nuriko screeched, "You idiot!"
Miaka had gone into a trance, as had I, "Tamahome…"
"Miaka…"
"Tamahome…"
"Miaka…."
"CUT IT OUT!!!"
"Tamahome…"
"Mi-"
"STOP IT!!"
"-aka…"
"Tamahome…"
"I didn't know he could talk."
"Miaka…"
"Shoka?"
"Tamahome…"
"I DIDN'T KNOW HE COULD TALK!!!"
"Miaka…"
-Pause -
Just then, lo and behold, Nakago ran in. Much to Chichiri's delight, he was, in fact, selling car insurance.
"Na no DA!" were Chichiri's exact words.
Hotohori, who didn't need car insurance -- or ANY insurance, seeing as how he controlled it - said, "Why are YOU here, Nakago?"
Nakago rolled his eyes at Hotohori's extreme idioticness, replying, "I'm selling car insurance, you moron." Hotohori sniffed at his imprudence. Nakago then turned back to Chichiri and motioned to some papers he was signing.
Tasuki was busy making laud farting noises in the corner, for whatever reason… I really don't want to go there…
"Tama-"
"Oh, shut UP!" Nuriko snapped, exasperated.
Miaka sniffed, "Gomen nasai."
Tasuki made a particularly loud fart noise and said the most inane thing he could think of off of the top of his head, "I like rubber."
Mitsukake jumped up, and his eyes flashed dangerously, "Shoka?" he asked in a suspicious tone.
Tasuki threw his hands up. "Get off it, Mitsukake!"
Mitsukake recoiled, "I didn't know he could talk," he said meekly.
"HE CAN'T TALK, DAMNIT!"
Mitsukake was near tears. "S-s-shok-"
"SHUT THE HELL UP, MITSUKAKE!"
This was all Mitsukake could take, evidently, because he ran out, sobbing hysterically.
And I, the great and ever-so-wonderful Tamahome, said, "Miaka."
So, it starts all over again, once the first page is turned.