Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men. But Wolverine is welcome at my house anytime *wink *. I make no money from this story. It's just for personal entertainment.
The Bet part 4: Mess With the Best…
By Valkyrie
Now Wolverine was fast but that Cajun was just that much faster. Upon rounding the corner in the hallway leading to the stairs down, Logan came to an abrupt stop at an obstruction. There was Jubilee standing in front of him bracing herself to be knocked down. Luckily he was able to stop just in time. Jubilee looked at him and her eyes went wide as her gaze dropped low. Logan watched her gaze and followed it down to see himself buck-naked. He looked up and smiled a proud smile, then turned to return to his room. Holding his breath all the while, he gathered up some clothes and a few personal articles.
Logan decided he would set himself up down at the boathouse while his room aired out. He figured his room would be uninhabitable for at least a couple of days and he needed somewhere to stay. Out on the dock he stretched out with a cigar in his mouth and a six pack of beer in a bucket of ice beside him. He sat looking out on to the water and just relaxed, knowing he need do nothing as all the plans were already in motion and would come to fruition on their own.
After dinner Jubilee went looking for Logan and made her way down to the boathouse where she figured he would be.
"Hey Wolvie! Want some company?" she yelled as she approached him.
"Sure, grab a chair from against the house." He said without looking around at her.
Jubilee grabbed one of the folding chairs that was propped up against the boathouse and then came back to the dock to sit beside her favorite Canadian.
"So are you mad you have to stay down here?" she asked
"Nope" Logan answered, again with out taking his eyes off the water.
"Aren't you going to try and get even with Gambit or something?" She said dying to know what devious plan Logan might be hatching.
"I don't need to do anything but sit back and relax. Let Gumbo sweat." Logan answered and then took a long swig of his beer.
Jubilee looked at him in disbelief.
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After dinner Remy was on extra guard. He knew something was coming. It was just a matter of when and where. He figured it would be best to leave the mansion and allow Logan to try and pull some prank and come back and defuse it. 'Best to get it over with' he thought. Before going out, Remy rigged his room so that if anyone went in to mess around he would know exactly what was done.
Gambit grabbed his trench coat, announced to everyone that he was going out and left.
Remy liked New York, and a couple of hours wandering the city would be just the ticket to relax his nerves. While walking down the sidewalk in a run down part of the city, he suddenly felt he was being followed. He had a sense for things like that and he was one person you could never sneak up on. After taking a few more steps, he turned suddenly expecting to catch Logan on his heels. Instead there was nothing but an old stray cat wandering behind him on the sidewalk.
Remy turned back and continued walking, a little unnerved that his instincts had been wrong. After walking another block the feeling, which had never left him, was even stronger. He turned again to see four cats now behind him.
"Shoo! Scat!" He said to the cats, gesturing with his hands for the cats to scoot. They barely budged, obviously city cats have no fear. In addition they meowed a strange loud cry as if they were very hungry.
Remy turned again and began to walk faster. When he glanced behind him again he saw that there were now at least a dozen cats that were fast on his heels and seemed to be getting braver by the second.
Remy knew there was something amiss and decided it would be best to get out of there and started to run. Before he could round the corner one of the cats jumped on his back at began scratching his back through his coat. He manager to scrape the crazy cat off of him and made it back to his car moments before the rest of the pack converged on the vehicle.
"What da hell do dey want?" Remy said, a little shaken by the strange occurrence. "Dis is like an episode from da Twilight Zone."
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When Remy got back to the mansion, he found his room had not been touched. All the little indicators he had placed to give evidence if someone had gone into his room were still intact. This, however, did nothing to settle his nerve, in fact it did quite the opposite. For now he would still have to be on guard for the impending attack. He went into his room and took off his trench coat to check for damage. He figured the cat must have been rummaging in garbage because his coat had a slight fishy smell. There were a few scratches but nothing major. He went into his bathroom to check his back. It seemed a bit marked up. When he looked he saw that although the animals claws had not gone through the coat material the pressure had left red welt type marks on his back that resembled scratches. He also noticed that his neck seemed to be breaking out in red marks.
"Must be hives or something. Maybe I'm allergic to cats." He said aloud.
Just then there was a knock at the door. " Come in!" Remy yelled as he continued to check to strange blotches on his neck.
Rogue walked in to the room and saw that it was empty but that the light was on in the bathroom. " I was wonder where you were earlier. I was looking all over for you. Did you go out?" She said trying to get a peek of him without going right over to the door.
Remy came out in just his pants as his shirt was still on the bed. " I went into the city for a walk," He said as he grabbed the shirt and started to put it on.
"What the hell is that?" Rogue yelled at him as she came close to see his neck " Are those hickeys?"
"No chere. They are hives or something" Remy countered.
As Rogue came closer she could she his back in a mirror behind him and noticed the scratches. " And what the hell are these scratches on your back?" she said, her voice starting to sound accusing.
" I was attacked by a pussy" Remy responded then quickly corrected himself before he got in more trouble "I mean a cat"
"A cat?" Rogue said. Her hands on her hips looking at him with complete disbelief. " Remy what's going on here?"
"Nothing chere, I swear. I was attacked by a cat while out walking" He knew it sounded crazy but he had to make her believe. I think I'm allergic or something"
"Why would a cat attack you?" she asked trying to find something that would help her believe him.
"I don't know, dey were following me"
Rogue gave him a strange look and said "humph!" before leaving the room. Completely unsure what to think of his explanation.
"Honest chere! I think they wanted to eat me." Remy yelled at Rogue as she left.
Completely exhausted Remy went to bed, quietly praying tomorrow Logan would get it over with already.
Next day.
The entire day was completely uneventful. Logan was nowhere to be seen and Remy was starting to show the strain. When nothing had happened by the time dinner rolled around, Remy thought maybe Logan had decided to 'let it be' and maybe he could start to relax a little.
Everyone was enjoying their coffees after the wonderful dinner and discussing the days events, or lack there of, when the door bell chimed.
"I'll get it!" Jubilee yelped as she leaped out of her chair and ran for the door.
Meanwhile Logan sat back and chewed on the end of his unlit cigar. If anyone had been watching him, they would have noticed the edges of his mouth slightly twitch into a smile.
Jubilee returned carrying two decent size parcels. "Hey Gambit, some packages came for you," she said as she placed them in front of him on the table. Gambit looked shocked for a moment then smiled as he remembered.
"Did you order something?" Rogue asked as she got up to move closer in order to see what he had received.
"Yeah, I did. I just wasn't expecting dem so soon." Gambit replied remembering the special new outfit and the ass kicking boots he had ordered online.
"Well lets see em, sugah," Rogue said and gave Remy a small punch on his shoulder.
Everyone was quiet and watched in anticipation as Remy opened the first package that he assumed was his new specially designed boots. To his surprise the box contained a Styrofoam head with a wig on it. To be more specific, an auburn longhaired wig with a familiar white stripe in the front.
Everyone including Remy just stared at the wig, completely in shock. Then they all turned their stares to Remy with stunned looks on their faces. All except Logan, who was fighting back a grin with all his strength.
"Why'd ya buy a wig?" asked Rogue, her voice starting to sound strident with shock. "With hair just like mine?"
"I…" was all Remy could get out before Bobby said, "Hey I wanna see what's in the other package. Open it." Sounding very impatient.
Remy was in shock, he couldn't figure how they could send a wig instead of boots. He decided to see what condition his suit was in before getting on the phone to complain. He tore open the wrapping on the package and stopped cold at the sight of what was inside of it. All mouths in the whole room dropped open in disbelief.
On the box was the picture of a plastic woman with her mouth in a grotesque "O" shape. The package read 'Blow up Betty' with a little advertisement balloon that read 'feels life-like'.
The room was dead silent, many of the occupants with their mouths in a similar "O" shape to the doll's. Remy sat in total shock staring at the box. Finally it was Rogue who broke the silence. " Remy Lebeau!!! How dare you!! How dare you humiliate me like this!!" she screamed and bolted from the room.
Jean watched Rogue leave then turned her attention to Logan who was sitting there far too quietly, seemingly completely disinterested. She knew exactly what had happened here and was disgusted. She decided to go explain things to Rogue.
Meanwhile Remy sat in stunned silence.
"You know you should get stuff like this sent to a post office box" Bobby piped up with a snicker, then proceeded to inspect the box with the blow-up doll. He then looked into the box that had contained the wig and to his surprise pulled out two more wigs that were at the bottom of the box. "Hey, look at this! Here's a red one and a white one as well."
"Shut up" Remy finally was able to speak. He looked up to see Logan give him a shit-eating grin and that was the last straw. Remy jumped out of his seat and tried to leap across the table to wipe the smile off Logan's face. Luckily for Logan, Scott and Beast were there to hold Gambit back.
"You go too far dis time homme!" Remy yelled at him. "It's one ting to make me look bad but it's another to hurt Rogue. I'm going to make you so sorry for dis!" he yelled and shook off the two men holding him and left the room.
Again there was silence as everyone waited for Logan to make some sort of response. Instead he just continued to sit without a word.
"Well since he doesn't want this, I would like to do some experiments on the elasticity of this plastic" Beast said as he picked up the box with the doll in it.
"Oh no you don't! I know what kind of experiments you want to do. I want to check it out first," said Bobby trying to take the box out of Beast's hands.
"That's it you two! Give that here and start acting like X-men, not XXX-men," said Cyclops as he took the box away from them both and left the room with it.
Beast and Bobby gave each other the evil eye, "See! Look what you did!" Bobby said and stuck his tongue out at Hank.
Meanwhile Logan just grinned.
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When Jean caught up with Rogue she was already in her room crying her eyes out.
"Rogue, can I talk to you for a minute?" Jean asked as she stepped into the room.
Rogue unable to form words just nodded her approval and sat on the edge of her bed.
"Rogue those parcels weren't bought by Remy. This is just another addition to those stupid practical jokes that Logan and Remy are playing on each other." Jean explained.
Rogue stopped sobbing to look at Jean, her eyes full of questions.
"I overheard Logan ordering something the other day. I'm sure this is his doing."
At that Rogue was able to find her words, "Why that dirty snake! He sure messed with the wrong girl. I'm going make sure that guy never messes with Remy or me again," her strength building along with her anger now.
Jean rolled her eyes and thought, "Will this silliness never end?"
A/N: Ok, Tara it's your turn. I have this strange feeling Logan is going to piss off everybody.