SORCERESS RECEPTION LESS THAN ENTHUSIASTIC
magistrate

Sorceress Edea, in an astonishing political move last week, became Ambassador of Galbadia. At her appointment ceremonial parade in Deling City, however, the masses were not impressed.

"Yeah, she gets up there an' starts dissin' us," says one resident who declined to be identified. "Really ticked me off. Then she goes and skewers the President--but who cares about him?"

Angry protests gave way to rioting as an unknown team of people trapped Edea underneath the archway and attempted to assassinate her. When Edea stopped the bullet that would have killed her, one of the assassins attempted a head-on assault.

"I was just trying to get away from a G-soldier, and then this guy with this really big honkin' sword comes down out of nowhere and chops the guy in half!" says the same resident. "I turn to thank him, and he jumps in my car and drives away! What was up with that?"

Though the assassins were all captured, Edea says she will not be staying in Deling City.

"Fools. Pathetic worms. Do you think this city has anything which could possibly interest me?" Edea says. When asked if she fears another assassination, she responded "you bore me," and impaled the interveiver on her fingers.

As of yet the assassin's identities have not been released.