Part 3
"Are you sure Isabel?" Liz could feel her heart beating double-time with excitement. "I won't be a total pain?"
Isabel grinned as she put the dirty plate into the dishwasher. "Liz, any pair of helping hands with twenty-five eight year-olds is a God-send. You're doing [I]me[/I] a favour." She glanced back as Liz handed her another dish. "The kids loved you too - not as much as Miss Deluca of course - but they thought you were great."
"Well, I certainly don't blame them." Liz laughed. "Me or the woman responsible for the theme song from Leonardo DiCaprio's latest love fest? I know it's a tough choice, but I think they made the right one."
"Do I hear mocking?" Maria demanded as she sauntered into the kitchen, lightly punching Liz on the shoulder as she passed her to sit at the kitchen table in Jesse and Isabel's comfortable split-level house. Isabel had invited Liz and Maria for dinner after the she finished at work, so the two friends had spent the day shopping and then had met up with their other friend that evening.
Liz was still amazed by how well they were all getting along. Isabel had changed drastically since she had left Roswell and had found her calling in teaching. She was not nearly as high-strung, nor as cold. Liz had always wanted to be closer to Max's sister when she had been with Max, but had given up fairly early on in their relationship. Isabel had been impossible to get to know in high school. The only ones who had ever really known her were Max, Michael and, surprisingly perhaps, or maybe not because of who he had been, Alex Whitman.
"You could grab a dishtowel oh famous one." Liz countered wryly, as Maria continued to watch Isabel and Liz clean up the kitchen.
"Liz, you know that I vowed these hands would never touch another dirty dish after I quit the Crashdown." Maria smirked back. "I am far too famous to waste my time on mere chores." The twinkle in her eye belied the tone of her words though.
"Oh, so that's why you couldn't keep your hands to yourself when we were at the Crashdown yesterday?" Liz retorted, snorting at the memory of Maria's first visit to her father's restaurant since they had returned to Roswell. She had taken over completely, ordering the waitresses around like a dictator until they had almost revolted.
"Those waitresses are idiots." Maria shrugged innocently. "Someone had to show them what to do. I couldn't leave your parents with such incompetence."
"I'm sure my father was eternally grateful that you [I]helped[/I] Tina and Tonya." Liz rolled her eyes, grinning towards Isabel in amusement.
"Anything for your dad." Maria replied. "Anyway...What are we discussing in here? Jesse and Dan are talking about football. I deemed it best to escape as quickly as possible."
"Liz is coming to school with me again tomorrow." Isabel told her, sounding pleased.
Maria raised an eyebrow, glanced at Liz. "She is? Why?" She backpedaled quickly when both Isabel and Liz stared at her. "I mean, they're cute and all, but one day with a bunch of kids was about all I could handle."
"I just liked it." Liz replied, defensively. "I liked being in a school again. I thought it might be fun to actually see a classroom in action."
"Lizzie, don't you have stuff to do for the wedding?" Maria asked suspiciously.
"Nah." Liz waved her hand in the air dismissively, although she knew it wasn't true. "Dan is perfectly happy to take care of all that. He's so organized. He loves it."
"A man who [I]likes[/I] planning a wedding?" Isabel sounded jealous. "Jesse can't even organize his socks!"
"Yeah." Liz smiled. "He's great."
Maria spoke up again, unwilling to leave the previous topic. "I don't get it though Liz. What is this about?"
Liz sighed heavily. She should have known that Maria would not accept this as easily as Isabel. Maria knew her a lot better after all. She had to know that something strange was going on. "Okay. I'll tell you the truth. But you have to promise me you're not going to flip out."
Maria raised her hands innocently. "Liz, it's me!"
Liz giggled, glanced at Isabel again. "Do you know, the last time I heard that was when I told her the truth about you and your brothers." She raised an eyebrow towards Maria. "Did you, or did you not, flip out in that instance?"
"Liz, I'm assuming that whatever you're about to tell me is not on the same level as [I]that[/I] piece of Czechoslovakian information." Maria snapped back, looking embarrassed. Suddenly her expression changed to one of horror. "Is it?"
"Well, I hope you don't think so." Liz replied. She took a deep breath and said aloud for the first time what she had been dealing with inside for a long time. "I absolutely, positively despise my job."
There was a minute of complete silence as Isabel and Maria both stared at her.
"Is that all?" Isabel finally said.
"But...but... Liz! You have your dream job! You're a molecular biologist at Harvard!" Maria sputtered at the same time. "What does this mean? The entire axis of my world is tilting! The universe is turning upside down!" By that last phrase Liz knew that Maria was joking. She scowled affectionately.
"Okay, okay!" Liz did feel a little offended. This was a life-changing decision she was making here after all. "It's not on the level of finding out there's life on other planets, I admit, but this is pretty significant for me."
Maria jumped up, threw her arm around Liz's shoulders. "I'm sorry Lizzie! You should have seen the expression on your face though. You looked like you were about to tell us the world was ending."
"Don't you see?" Liz shrugged Maria's arm away, looked at them both seriously. "For me, it is. My entire life revolves around that place. And I hate it! What does that mean about my life?" Liz had not realized until this moment how much she really meant what she said. She was not happy at work. In fact, she was ready to make a complete break.
It scared the hell out of her. If all the dreams she had ever had had turned out so poorly, what on Earth was she going to do with the rest of her life?
"That you hate it?" Maria asked, confused.
Isabel elbowed her soundly. "Maria!" She grabbed Liz by the hand, pulled her towards the kitchen table and pushed her down on a chair, taking a seat across the table. "Liz, its okay to have doubts about your career. You're young still. There's plenty of time to change your mind. I think you're making a wise decision to take advantage of your situation this week. Come to work with me. See if there could be something out there that you like better. What harm can it do?"
Liz sighed heavily. "A lot actually." She glanced towards the door leading towards the living room. "Dan is going to freak."
Isabel looked nonplused. "He is? Why?"
"He'll never understand. Harvard is the be all and end all to him." Liz closed her eyes briefly. "He's going to think I'm crazy."
"Let him!" Isabel replied. "Husbands need to be kept on their toes."
Liz sighed again. "You don't understand Isabel." She swallowed. "If I'm not working at Harvard, I don't know if I want to live in Boston."
"Oh." Isabel's mouth snapped shut after that single syllable. "That is a problem."
"I really miss the desert." Liz admitted. "I never though I would miss it as much as I do, but it's true. Being back here has only reinforced it."
"But Liz," Isabel looked sympathetic, but serious, "you have to understand that marriage is about compromise. Dan might be perfectly fine with you leaving your job. But I think you might have to allow that you do pursue something else, its going to have to be in Boston."
"I know." And Liz did know. She just didn't like it.
She knew she was being the epitome of selfish, but there it was. It was how she felt and she had to get it out there.
The sound of a child crying caused all the women to look towards the baby monitor sitting on the counter. Isabel glanced at the clock. "Lexi's awake. That's weird. I better go check on her."
"Oh! Bring her down!" Maria insisted. "It was so not fair that Jesse had put her to bed before we got here. I want to see this wonder kid you can't stop talking about."
Isabel smiled, looked pleased to be asked. "Do you really want me to? I thought you were sick of kids."
"Kids that belong to strangers Isabel. Not kids I know!" Maria replied. "Am I not right here Liz?"
"Totally. I would love to meet Alex's namesake."
"Okay, I'll just be a second." With that, she turned and hurried out of the room.
Maria turned around and grabbed Liz by the shoulders the instant Isabel was out of the room. "Okay Liz. It's truth time. This is about Max isn't it?"
Liz blinked. "What? Maria, what on Earth are you talking about?" She truly had no idea what Maria was talking about.
"All this talk about moving back here, leaving your dream job. You're having second thoughts about this wedding, aren't you?" Maria demanded. "Seeing Isabel has brought it all back and now you've decided to go back to pining for your soulmate. I know [I]you.[/I]"
"Maria! That's absolutely crazy!" Liz felt a flash of anger. She had told Maria a million times that she was totally over Max Evans and it was more than true. She was in love with her fiancé. "Max has nothing to do with it. He's on another planet for God's sake! Why would I suddenly make a decision like this because of him?"
"Because you have exactly six days until your wedding and you are starting to freak out." Maria replied, sounding absolutely certain that she was right. "Don't try and tell me that you haven't always secretly dreamed that Max would come back in time to stop you. Can you honestly tell me that you're not settling?"
"Settling for Dan?" Liz exclaimed. "Are you crazy? I've been dating him for three years Maria. He's brilliant, he's gorgeous, he's successful! Who in their right mind would call that settling?"
"Liz." Maria pressed her lips together. "He's not Max Evans."
"No Maria. He's not. Max Evans deserted me. Max Evans is likely either dead or married to the alien skank that murdered our best friend!" Liz said evenly. "I don't know why you're bringing all of this up right now, but I want you to stop it! Just because something happened between you and Michael... Don't try and mess up [I]my[/I] relationship!"
"This is [I]so[/I] not about Michael!" Maria almost yelled back. Liz took a step backward. Was her best friend going crazy? "This is about [I] you[/I] Liz! Admit it! You are totally denying what you really feel. You have refused to say one word about Max since the day you left for Harvard. You're bottling it all up and it's not fair to Dan."
"Is everything okay in here?"
Liz whirled at the sound of her fiancé's voice. He and Jesse were standing in the doorway to the kitchen, both staring at she and Maria in dismay.
"Elizabeth?" Dan was the only person in her entire life who had called her by her full name. She continued to stare at him, not knowing what to say. He knew all about Max of course - well, minus the alien stuff - but how could she tell him that Maria was flipping out about her ex-boyfriend, for some reason that Liz still didn't understand?
"Everything's fine." Liz finally said, hurrying across the room and linking her arm with Dan's. He stared at her, confusion in his green eyes. "I think we should go now. Thanks for everything Jesse. Tell Isabel I'll see her tomorrow."
"Liz..." Maria called after her. "We're not done here."
Liz ignored her. She needed air. Quickly. She actually felt like she was about to pass out. "Elizabeth, are you all right?" Dan was asking as he followed her.
But escape was not meant to be. As she passed by the stairs on her way to the front hallway, Isabel was just coming down, her small daughter balanced on her hip. Liz glanced up, saw Alexandra's face, her gaze pulled directly to the little girl's shining dark eyes, eyes that seemed wiser and more intelligent than the eyes of any two year old had the right to be.
But, the thing was, she didn't see Isabel's daughter at all. Because the little girl was staring back at her with Max Evans' eyes. She was the spitting image of the boy who had deserted her, Liz, so long ago.
Liz brought her hands up to her mouth, gasping. "Oh my God. Isabel!" She felt behind her, collapsed into a straight-back chair that sat against a wall in the hallway. "How...how is this possible?"
And she knew that every single word Maria had said was true. Maria had known and she, Liz, hadn't even realized it herself.
She was not over Max Evans.
"How is what possible?" Isabel asked, sounding confused. She looked at her daughter with concern, obviously thinking that there was something wrong with Lexi.
"She..." Liz swallowed, hard, glanced at Dan out of the corner of her eye. He looked like he thought she was going insane, which perhaps she was. "Isabel, I need to talk to you alone. Now."
"Elizabeth..."
Liz kissed him quickly on the cheek. "I'll be right back honey." She had a feeling she was going to pay for [I]that[/I] later. If there was one thing Dan hated it was feeling like he was out of the loop, but she had no choice.
"Can we go upstairs?" Liz asked Max's sister.
"Of course."
They didn't say another word until they were back in Lexi's nursery. Liz made sure the door was firmly closed before she said. "How could you not have warned me?"
Isabel placed the baby back in her crib, turned back, her arms crossed across her middle. "Tell you what Liz?" She sounded genuinely perplexed.
"Don't you see it?" Liz demanded. "How can you [I]not[/I] see it?" When Isabel still eyed her with concern, no sign of understanding on her pretty face, Liz almost yelled, "She looks exactly like Max! How is this possible? You were both cloned! You are not genetic siblings!"
"Oh that!" Isabel looked back at her daughter. "I guess you're right that there's a resemblance. I don't really see it. I think she looks like Jesse's mom."
"Isabel!"
"Liz, I don't understand why you're so upset. Michael and I just figured that Max and I had genetic donors who were related. It would make sense, don't you think? We were brother and sister on Antar, so they decided to clone us from a brother and sister on Earth." Isabel shrugged. "Who cares? I try to forget that she looks anything like my idiot brother."
Liz brought her hands up to her temples, tried to rub away the headache that was beginning to pound away there. "I'm sorry." She sat down heavily in a rocking chair near the crib. "I just didn't expect it. Maria was yelling at me about Max in the kitchen and then there was Lexi..." Liz stood up again, moved towards the crib and gazed down at Isabel's daughter, who was gradually falling back to sleep. "It's absolutely amazing..." She whispered, reaching down and sweeping a black curl back off the baby's forehead.
Liz felt her heart swell up in her chest. Was this what Max's son had looked like as a baby? Was this what [I]their[/I] children would have looked like, if things had turned out differently?
She felt Isabel's hand on her shoulder. "Liz, what is this about?" She sounded concerned. "I thought you were over Max. Who cares if Lexi looks like him?"
"Don't you ever wonder where he is Izzy?" Liz asked, using the name Max had always used to address his sister. She saw Isabel flinch at it. Liz guessed that no one had called her that since he had left. "I mean...I do. I wonder if he's alive. If he found his son. If he's fighting a war with Khivar right now...."
Isabel closed her eyes briefly. "I try not to wonder Liz."
"Are you ever going to forgive him Isabel?"
"Did you?" Isabel snapped back, turning away.
Liz smiled slightly. "I think I have." She replied, knowing it was true, even if Maria had been right that maybe she wasn't as over the memory of Max as she had insisted to herself for years. Maria had been right that being near Isabel had brought it all flooding back. There had been a reason it seemed that she had not sought out Max's sister's company in the years since she had left Roswell. "But I think it's pretty clear that I haven't tried to forget him. You have. Why?"
Liz saw a shudder pass through Isabel's body. She turned, gripped the side of Lexi's crib tightly. "Because if I hate him..." A sob broke through. "Then I don' t miss him so much."
"Isabel, I'm sorry." Liz sighed heavily. "I didn't mean to upset you. Maybe it would be best if I didn't come to the school tomorrow." Isabel turned, looked surprised. "Maria said something that I think might be accurate. Being around each other isn't healthy. I know that seeing you has made me think about him, and I think it's the same for you. Am I right?"
Isabel was quiet for a long moment. Finally she said, "I think it is true Liz. But that doesn't mean I regret it. I want you to come. I think maybe it's time I deal with this. It's not healthy to go through life hating my own brother."
"Or blaming yourself for him leaving." Liz added, taking a wild guess. "It wasn't your fault that he left Isabel."
"But I hung up on him!" Isabel replied. So Liz had been right. The other woman [I]was[/I] haunted by the fact that she had been the last to speak to her brother. Not only haunted, but guilty as well, no doubt.
"It wasn't your fault Isabel. None of this was [I]anyone's[/I] fault." Liz insisted, suddenly seeing a way through this morass of guilt and pain. They had to move past this - together. The mistake they had made was in ignoring the common bond they shared, which was Max.
"I know it Liz. It doesn't mean I don't still feel it." Isabel replied, rubbing a weary hand across her eyes.
Liz knew exactly what she meant. Because telling herself that she didn't still dream about Max Evans certainly had not stopped her from doing so.
And until this moment she had not even admitted this to herself. Did it mean that she didn't love Dan? Of course it didn't. All it meant was that a relationship in her past had never had a chance to play itself out to it's natural end. It had been stopped in it's tracks on two separate occasions - first when she and Future Max had messed with the timeline in the fall of her junior year, and again when Max had left the planet without even saying goodbye.
Because the main problem with all of it, was that Liz knew, in her heart of hearts, that if there was absolutely any way, Max would come back for her.
But she just wasn't strong enough to wait for that.
She didn't [I] want[/I] to wait for it. She had a man who loved her, one that she loved.
And she was going to marry him on Saturday, come hell or high water.
"Okay." Liz said resolutely. "We'll deal with it then. Together."
Isabel smiled, reached out and hugged Liz. "Starting tomorrow."
As they moved to leave the room, Isabel checked on Lexi one last time. The little girl was sleeping peacefully again, her small thumb tucked into her mouth.
"She is beautiful Isabel." Liz told her. "I hope I have a daughter some day."
This caused Isabel to pause before opening the door. "Liz, what are you going to tell Dan about this? He's bound to ask questions." She paused again and then continued, a little more tentatively. "I really like him by the way. He..." She swallowed. "I don't know whether I should tell you this or not, but he reminds me of Max - from before I mean." Isabel amended. "Before Tess."
Liz thought about it for a long moment. "I think you might be right. But he's his own man. I'm going to tell him the truth - or as much of it as I can. That I'm having doubts I mean. And we'll work on it together."
"I'm glad you have him." Isabel said after another moment of silence. "I think Max would be too."
"I hope so."
Isabel frowned slightly, then asked quietly. "Do you think he's still alive somewhere? I mean, I try not to think he isn't - even when I'm my angriest at him - but..."
This question Liz could answer with absolute certainty. Because she knew the answer, knew that she would always know. Because even if Max had left her, even though he was on an entirely different planet, one of the reasons Liz had never been able to totally let go was that a tiny part of him still held on in her heart, still burned brightly, would always exist as long as he was safe and alive, as long as there was still hope that he would return someday - maybe not to [I]her[/I] but to everyone who loved him.
"I know he is."
To be continued...
"Are you sure Isabel?" Liz could feel her heart beating double-time with excitement. "I won't be a total pain?"
Isabel grinned as she put the dirty plate into the dishwasher. "Liz, any pair of helping hands with twenty-five eight year-olds is a God-send. You're doing [I]me[/I] a favour." She glanced back as Liz handed her another dish. "The kids loved you too - not as much as Miss Deluca of course - but they thought you were great."
"Well, I certainly don't blame them." Liz laughed. "Me or the woman responsible for the theme song from Leonardo DiCaprio's latest love fest? I know it's a tough choice, but I think they made the right one."
"Do I hear mocking?" Maria demanded as she sauntered into the kitchen, lightly punching Liz on the shoulder as she passed her to sit at the kitchen table in Jesse and Isabel's comfortable split-level house. Isabel had invited Liz and Maria for dinner after the she finished at work, so the two friends had spent the day shopping and then had met up with their other friend that evening.
Liz was still amazed by how well they were all getting along. Isabel had changed drastically since she had left Roswell and had found her calling in teaching. She was not nearly as high-strung, nor as cold. Liz had always wanted to be closer to Max's sister when she had been with Max, but had given up fairly early on in their relationship. Isabel had been impossible to get to know in high school. The only ones who had ever really known her were Max, Michael and, surprisingly perhaps, or maybe not because of who he had been, Alex Whitman.
"You could grab a dishtowel oh famous one." Liz countered wryly, as Maria continued to watch Isabel and Liz clean up the kitchen.
"Liz, you know that I vowed these hands would never touch another dirty dish after I quit the Crashdown." Maria smirked back. "I am far too famous to waste my time on mere chores." The twinkle in her eye belied the tone of her words though.
"Oh, so that's why you couldn't keep your hands to yourself when we were at the Crashdown yesterday?" Liz retorted, snorting at the memory of Maria's first visit to her father's restaurant since they had returned to Roswell. She had taken over completely, ordering the waitresses around like a dictator until they had almost revolted.
"Those waitresses are idiots." Maria shrugged innocently. "Someone had to show them what to do. I couldn't leave your parents with such incompetence."
"I'm sure my father was eternally grateful that you [I]helped[/I] Tina and Tonya." Liz rolled her eyes, grinning towards Isabel in amusement.
"Anything for your dad." Maria replied. "Anyway...What are we discussing in here? Jesse and Dan are talking about football. I deemed it best to escape as quickly as possible."
"Liz is coming to school with me again tomorrow." Isabel told her, sounding pleased.
Maria raised an eyebrow, glanced at Liz. "She is? Why?" She backpedaled quickly when both Isabel and Liz stared at her. "I mean, they're cute and all, but one day with a bunch of kids was about all I could handle."
"I just liked it." Liz replied, defensively. "I liked being in a school again. I thought it might be fun to actually see a classroom in action."
"Lizzie, don't you have stuff to do for the wedding?" Maria asked suspiciously.
"Nah." Liz waved her hand in the air dismissively, although she knew it wasn't true. "Dan is perfectly happy to take care of all that. He's so organized. He loves it."
"A man who [I]likes[/I] planning a wedding?" Isabel sounded jealous. "Jesse can't even organize his socks!"
"Yeah." Liz smiled. "He's great."
Maria spoke up again, unwilling to leave the previous topic. "I don't get it though Liz. What is this about?"
Liz sighed heavily. She should have known that Maria would not accept this as easily as Isabel. Maria knew her a lot better after all. She had to know that something strange was going on. "Okay. I'll tell you the truth. But you have to promise me you're not going to flip out."
Maria raised her hands innocently. "Liz, it's me!"
Liz giggled, glanced at Isabel again. "Do you know, the last time I heard that was when I told her the truth about you and your brothers." She raised an eyebrow towards Maria. "Did you, or did you not, flip out in that instance?"
"Liz, I'm assuming that whatever you're about to tell me is not on the same level as [I]that[/I] piece of Czechoslovakian information." Maria snapped back, looking embarrassed. Suddenly her expression changed to one of horror. "Is it?"
"Well, I hope you don't think so." Liz replied. She took a deep breath and said aloud for the first time what she had been dealing with inside for a long time. "I absolutely, positively despise my job."
There was a minute of complete silence as Isabel and Maria both stared at her.
"Is that all?" Isabel finally said.
"But...but... Liz! You have your dream job! You're a molecular biologist at Harvard!" Maria sputtered at the same time. "What does this mean? The entire axis of my world is tilting! The universe is turning upside down!" By that last phrase Liz knew that Maria was joking. She scowled affectionately.
"Okay, okay!" Liz did feel a little offended. This was a life-changing decision she was making here after all. "It's not on the level of finding out there's life on other planets, I admit, but this is pretty significant for me."
Maria jumped up, threw her arm around Liz's shoulders. "I'm sorry Lizzie! You should have seen the expression on your face though. You looked like you were about to tell us the world was ending."
"Don't you see?" Liz shrugged Maria's arm away, looked at them both seriously. "For me, it is. My entire life revolves around that place. And I hate it! What does that mean about my life?" Liz had not realized until this moment how much she really meant what she said. She was not happy at work. In fact, she was ready to make a complete break.
It scared the hell out of her. If all the dreams she had ever had had turned out so poorly, what on Earth was she going to do with the rest of her life?
"That you hate it?" Maria asked, confused.
Isabel elbowed her soundly. "Maria!" She grabbed Liz by the hand, pulled her towards the kitchen table and pushed her down on a chair, taking a seat across the table. "Liz, its okay to have doubts about your career. You're young still. There's plenty of time to change your mind. I think you're making a wise decision to take advantage of your situation this week. Come to work with me. See if there could be something out there that you like better. What harm can it do?"
Liz sighed heavily. "A lot actually." She glanced towards the door leading towards the living room. "Dan is going to freak."
Isabel looked nonplused. "He is? Why?"
"He'll never understand. Harvard is the be all and end all to him." Liz closed her eyes briefly. "He's going to think I'm crazy."
"Let him!" Isabel replied. "Husbands need to be kept on their toes."
Liz sighed again. "You don't understand Isabel." She swallowed. "If I'm not working at Harvard, I don't know if I want to live in Boston."
"Oh." Isabel's mouth snapped shut after that single syllable. "That is a problem."
"I really miss the desert." Liz admitted. "I never though I would miss it as much as I do, but it's true. Being back here has only reinforced it."
"But Liz," Isabel looked sympathetic, but serious, "you have to understand that marriage is about compromise. Dan might be perfectly fine with you leaving your job. But I think you might have to allow that you do pursue something else, its going to have to be in Boston."
"I know." And Liz did know. She just didn't like it.
She knew she was being the epitome of selfish, but there it was. It was how she felt and she had to get it out there.
The sound of a child crying caused all the women to look towards the baby monitor sitting on the counter. Isabel glanced at the clock. "Lexi's awake. That's weird. I better go check on her."
"Oh! Bring her down!" Maria insisted. "It was so not fair that Jesse had put her to bed before we got here. I want to see this wonder kid you can't stop talking about."
Isabel smiled, looked pleased to be asked. "Do you really want me to? I thought you were sick of kids."
"Kids that belong to strangers Isabel. Not kids I know!" Maria replied. "Am I not right here Liz?"
"Totally. I would love to meet Alex's namesake."
"Okay, I'll just be a second." With that, she turned and hurried out of the room.
Maria turned around and grabbed Liz by the shoulders the instant Isabel was out of the room. "Okay Liz. It's truth time. This is about Max isn't it?"
Liz blinked. "What? Maria, what on Earth are you talking about?" She truly had no idea what Maria was talking about.
"All this talk about moving back here, leaving your dream job. You're having second thoughts about this wedding, aren't you?" Maria demanded. "Seeing Isabel has brought it all back and now you've decided to go back to pining for your soulmate. I know [I]you.[/I]"
"Maria! That's absolutely crazy!" Liz felt a flash of anger. She had told Maria a million times that she was totally over Max Evans and it was more than true. She was in love with her fiancé. "Max has nothing to do with it. He's on another planet for God's sake! Why would I suddenly make a decision like this because of him?"
"Because you have exactly six days until your wedding and you are starting to freak out." Maria replied, sounding absolutely certain that she was right. "Don't try and tell me that you haven't always secretly dreamed that Max would come back in time to stop you. Can you honestly tell me that you're not settling?"
"Settling for Dan?" Liz exclaimed. "Are you crazy? I've been dating him for three years Maria. He's brilliant, he's gorgeous, he's successful! Who in their right mind would call that settling?"
"Liz." Maria pressed her lips together. "He's not Max Evans."
"No Maria. He's not. Max Evans deserted me. Max Evans is likely either dead or married to the alien skank that murdered our best friend!" Liz said evenly. "I don't know why you're bringing all of this up right now, but I want you to stop it! Just because something happened between you and Michael... Don't try and mess up [I]my[/I] relationship!"
"This is [I]so[/I] not about Michael!" Maria almost yelled back. Liz took a step backward. Was her best friend going crazy? "This is about [I] you[/I] Liz! Admit it! You are totally denying what you really feel. You have refused to say one word about Max since the day you left for Harvard. You're bottling it all up and it's not fair to Dan."
"Is everything okay in here?"
Liz whirled at the sound of her fiancé's voice. He and Jesse were standing in the doorway to the kitchen, both staring at she and Maria in dismay.
"Elizabeth?" Dan was the only person in her entire life who had called her by her full name. She continued to stare at him, not knowing what to say. He knew all about Max of course - well, minus the alien stuff - but how could she tell him that Maria was flipping out about her ex-boyfriend, for some reason that Liz still didn't understand?
"Everything's fine." Liz finally said, hurrying across the room and linking her arm with Dan's. He stared at her, confusion in his green eyes. "I think we should go now. Thanks for everything Jesse. Tell Isabel I'll see her tomorrow."
"Liz..." Maria called after her. "We're not done here."
Liz ignored her. She needed air. Quickly. She actually felt like she was about to pass out. "Elizabeth, are you all right?" Dan was asking as he followed her.
But escape was not meant to be. As she passed by the stairs on her way to the front hallway, Isabel was just coming down, her small daughter balanced on her hip. Liz glanced up, saw Alexandra's face, her gaze pulled directly to the little girl's shining dark eyes, eyes that seemed wiser and more intelligent than the eyes of any two year old had the right to be.
But, the thing was, she didn't see Isabel's daughter at all. Because the little girl was staring back at her with Max Evans' eyes. She was the spitting image of the boy who had deserted her, Liz, so long ago.
Liz brought her hands up to her mouth, gasping. "Oh my God. Isabel!" She felt behind her, collapsed into a straight-back chair that sat against a wall in the hallway. "How...how is this possible?"
And she knew that every single word Maria had said was true. Maria had known and she, Liz, hadn't even realized it herself.
She was not over Max Evans.
"How is what possible?" Isabel asked, sounding confused. She looked at her daughter with concern, obviously thinking that there was something wrong with Lexi.
"She..." Liz swallowed, hard, glanced at Dan out of the corner of her eye. He looked like he thought she was going insane, which perhaps she was. "Isabel, I need to talk to you alone. Now."
"Elizabeth..."
Liz kissed him quickly on the cheek. "I'll be right back honey." She had a feeling she was going to pay for [I]that[/I] later. If there was one thing Dan hated it was feeling like he was out of the loop, but she had no choice.
"Can we go upstairs?" Liz asked Max's sister.
"Of course."
They didn't say another word until they were back in Lexi's nursery. Liz made sure the door was firmly closed before she said. "How could you not have warned me?"
Isabel placed the baby back in her crib, turned back, her arms crossed across her middle. "Tell you what Liz?" She sounded genuinely perplexed.
"Don't you see it?" Liz demanded. "How can you [I]not[/I] see it?" When Isabel still eyed her with concern, no sign of understanding on her pretty face, Liz almost yelled, "She looks exactly like Max! How is this possible? You were both cloned! You are not genetic siblings!"
"Oh that!" Isabel looked back at her daughter. "I guess you're right that there's a resemblance. I don't really see it. I think she looks like Jesse's mom."
"Isabel!"
"Liz, I don't understand why you're so upset. Michael and I just figured that Max and I had genetic donors who were related. It would make sense, don't you think? We were brother and sister on Antar, so they decided to clone us from a brother and sister on Earth." Isabel shrugged. "Who cares? I try to forget that she looks anything like my idiot brother."
Liz brought her hands up to her temples, tried to rub away the headache that was beginning to pound away there. "I'm sorry." She sat down heavily in a rocking chair near the crib. "I just didn't expect it. Maria was yelling at me about Max in the kitchen and then there was Lexi..." Liz stood up again, moved towards the crib and gazed down at Isabel's daughter, who was gradually falling back to sleep. "It's absolutely amazing..." She whispered, reaching down and sweeping a black curl back off the baby's forehead.
Liz felt her heart swell up in her chest. Was this what Max's son had looked like as a baby? Was this what [I]their[/I] children would have looked like, if things had turned out differently?
She felt Isabel's hand on her shoulder. "Liz, what is this about?" She sounded concerned. "I thought you were over Max. Who cares if Lexi looks like him?"
"Don't you ever wonder where he is Izzy?" Liz asked, using the name Max had always used to address his sister. She saw Isabel flinch at it. Liz guessed that no one had called her that since he had left. "I mean...I do. I wonder if he's alive. If he found his son. If he's fighting a war with Khivar right now...."
Isabel closed her eyes briefly. "I try not to wonder Liz."
"Are you ever going to forgive him Isabel?"
"Did you?" Isabel snapped back, turning away.
Liz smiled slightly. "I think I have." She replied, knowing it was true, even if Maria had been right that maybe she wasn't as over the memory of Max as she had insisted to herself for years. Maria had been right that being near Isabel had brought it all flooding back. There had been a reason it seemed that she had not sought out Max's sister's company in the years since she had left Roswell. "But I think it's pretty clear that I haven't tried to forget him. You have. Why?"
Liz saw a shudder pass through Isabel's body. She turned, gripped the side of Lexi's crib tightly. "Because if I hate him..." A sob broke through. "Then I don' t miss him so much."
"Isabel, I'm sorry." Liz sighed heavily. "I didn't mean to upset you. Maybe it would be best if I didn't come to the school tomorrow." Isabel turned, looked surprised. "Maria said something that I think might be accurate. Being around each other isn't healthy. I know that seeing you has made me think about him, and I think it's the same for you. Am I right?"
Isabel was quiet for a long moment. Finally she said, "I think it is true Liz. But that doesn't mean I regret it. I want you to come. I think maybe it's time I deal with this. It's not healthy to go through life hating my own brother."
"Or blaming yourself for him leaving." Liz added, taking a wild guess. "It wasn't your fault that he left Isabel."
"But I hung up on him!" Isabel replied. So Liz had been right. The other woman [I]was[/I] haunted by the fact that she had been the last to speak to her brother. Not only haunted, but guilty as well, no doubt.
"It wasn't your fault Isabel. None of this was [I]anyone's[/I] fault." Liz insisted, suddenly seeing a way through this morass of guilt and pain. They had to move past this - together. The mistake they had made was in ignoring the common bond they shared, which was Max.
"I know it Liz. It doesn't mean I don't still feel it." Isabel replied, rubbing a weary hand across her eyes.
Liz knew exactly what she meant. Because telling herself that she didn't still dream about Max Evans certainly had not stopped her from doing so.
And until this moment she had not even admitted this to herself. Did it mean that she didn't love Dan? Of course it didn't. All it meant was that a relationship in her past had never had a chance to play itself out to it's natural end. It had been stopped in it's tracks on two separate occasions - first when she and Future Max had messed with the timeline in the fall of her junior year, and again when Max had left the planet without even saying goodbye.
Because the main problem with all of it, was that Liz knew, in her heart of hearts, that if there was absolutely any way, Max would come back for her.
But she just wasn't strong enough to wait for that.
She didn't [I] want[/I] to wait for it. She had a man who loved her, one that she loved.
And she was going to marry him on Saturday, come hell or high water.
"Okay." Liz said resolutely. "We'll deal with it then. Together."
Isabel smiled, reached out and hugged Liz. "Starting tomorrow."
As they moved to leave the room, Isabel checked on Lexi one last time. The little girl was sleeping peacefully again, her small thumb tucked into her mouth.
"She is beautiful Isabel." Liz told her. "I hope I have a daughter some day."
This caused Isabel to pause before opening the door. "Liz, what are you going to tell Dan about this? He's bound to ask questions." She paused again and then continued, a little more tentatively. "I really like him by the way. He..." She swallowed. "I don't know whether I should tell you this or not, but he reminds me of Max - from before I mean." Isabel amended. "Before Tess."
Liz thought about it for a long moment. "I think you might be right. But he's his own man. I'm going to tell him the truth - or as much of it as I can. That I'm having doubts I mean. And we'll work on it together."
"I'm glad you have him." Isabel said after another moment of silence. "I think Max would be too."
"I hope so."
Isabel frowned slightly, then asked quietly. "Do you think he's still alive somewhere? I mean, I try not to think he isn't - even when I'm my angriest at him - but..."
This question Liz could answer with absolute certainty. Because she knew the answer, knew that she would always know. Because even if Max had left her, even though he was on an entirely different planet, one of the reasons Liz had never been able to totally let go was that a tiny part of him still held on in her heart, still burned brightly, would always exist as long as he was safe and alive, as long as there was still hope that he would return someday - maybe not to [I]her[/I] but to everyone who loved him.
"I know he is."
To be continued...