Part 6
Liz glanced at the clock, then back at Isabel who was sitting at her desk marking papers. "I'm getting a little worried Isabel." She was standing at the window, staring out at Ben, who was sitting on the grass in front of the school, patiently waiting for Michael to pick him up. "Michael hasn't arrived yet."
Whoever this neighbour of Michael's was, he clearly had yet to learn that Michael Guerin was not the most responsible baby-sitter in the world.
Isabel looked up, a frown marring her beautiful face. "Is he still out there?" She stood up, came to join Liz at the window. The two women continued to watch the little blond boy for several moments. "He did well today, didn't he?" She asked. When Liz nodded, Isabel continued, "I've never seen a kid so brilliant in math before. I gave him an aptitude test and he aced it - even some high school level questions."
"But he's still a kid." Liz remarked. "The other boys think he's great. I saw them all playing with him at recess. I couldn't make out what they were doing, but he had them enthralled with something."
Isabel nodded. "Yup, I think he's going to fit in just fine. I'm going to tell him to come wait in here. It's not safe for a little boy out there all by himself." She shook her head ruefully. "This is why I have never left Michael alone with Lexi."
Liz called after her, "Wait! Why don't I just walk him home? He has to live in this neighbourhood if he's registered here...doesn't he?"
Isabel shrugged. "Yes. But are you sure Liz?"
"Yeah. Then you can ream Michael out when he gets here [I]and[/I] get caught up with him afterward." Liz smiled. "Don't forget. You're digging for information. Plus, I wouldn't mind having a little chat with Ben, seeing how he feels after his first day."
Isabel grinned. "You've got this teacher stuff down pat already Parker."
Liz blushed with pleasure. "I had a great day Isabel. Thanks so much for letting me come."
She [I]had[/I] had a wonderful day. She had loved every minute of it, from helping Isabel give a spelling test, to working in a small group with some kids who needed help with their reading. The way their eyes lit up when they understood something - it was the closest thing Liz had experienced to instant gratification in a job.
For the first time, in a long time, she had actually felt like she was doing something important, something that really made a difference.
And the best part of the whole thing was that it had actually kept her mind off of Max Evans for the entire day. That had to be saying something.
Harvard and Boston seemed to be less attractive to her every time she thought about them though, which was a problem. She still had no idea how she was going to tell Dan that she really did not want to go back to her present job after the wedding. He was not going to be happy.
"Hey, I should be thanking you." Isabel protested. She turned back to her papers. "I'll see you at home in a while."
Liz nodded, picked up her jacket and purse and hurried out of the building.
She paused for a moment as her eyes settled on the Ben. He was occupying himself in a typical kid way - his arms were twisted around each other and then were looped over his neck. He looked like a pretzel. She laughed, remembering how proud Alex had always been of himself whenever he managed to contort his body into some new formation. Of course, Alex had [I]still[/I] been doing that kind of stuff in high school...
Well, it had always confirmed to she and Maria what they had always known anyway. Boys were weird, Alex in particular. It was why they had loved him so much. It was why she still missed him with a deep, dull ache that never went away.
"Hey!" She called to Ben.
He looked up, a smile breaking out across his face. "Hi Liz!" They had agreed that he would call her Miss Parker in class but that when they were alone he could call her Liz - since they were both the "newbies" and all. Liz had bonded with this kid because of it and she had seen him looking at her several times during the day, to make sure that he was doing things right.
If she hadn't known better, she almost would have thought that this was the first time Ben had ever been in school. But he was so polite and so smart, she knew that that couldn't have been true.
"No sign of your ride yet?" She asked quietly.
Ben's smile faltered a bit. "I don't get it. My dad would never leave me just sitting here. Something must have happened to him or Michael." Liz felt her heart go out to him, knew that she was going to kill Michael the next time she saw him.
"Well, do you feel like going for a walk with me?" Liz asked. "I can walk you home if you like."
Ben looked doubtful. "I want to but I'm not sure..."
"You do know the way?"
"Sure." Ben said, with that typical eight-year-old arrogance. "It's just that my dad told me not to go anywhere until Michael came to get me."
"Your dad's careful, which is good." Liz replied, "But he probably doesn't know Michael nearly as well as I do. If he's not here yet, he's not coming."
"My dad has known him since Grade 4." Ben's expression was confused. "At least that's what he told me. They were the same age as me when they met."
"Really?" Liz was interested. "That means your dad probably went to school in Roswell." She reflected on how quickly Michael had denied that Liz knew Ben's father that morning. She was about to ask him what his dad's name was when she noticed a car heading towards them, going at so quickly, the tires were squealing.
She rolled her eyes. That had to be Michael. But as the car approached, Liz realized that it wasn't slowing down. In fact, it seemed to be speeding up. She realized that Ben was standing far too close to the curb. The car was swerving, something obviously seriously wrong with the driver.
"Ben!" Liz shrieked, moving forward and grabbing him just as the car ran over the curb, passing through the spot where the child had been standing only seconds before.
Liz had fallen over onto the grass, pulling Ben down with her. She sat up, stared after the car in shock, which was screeching around the corner at the far end of the quiet street upon which the school was located. "Are you okay Sweetie?" She asked, pulling him against her side. She had seen the expression of terror in his blue eyes as he stared at her, clearly not comprehending what had almost happened to him, but knowing that he had had a narrow escape.
"I want to go home." His eyes began to fill with tears. Liz could see Isabel running across the grass towards them, yelling her name, clearly having witnessed the whole thing through her classroom window.
Liz stood up, pulled Ben up with her, hugged him tightly. "It's okay. I'll take you home. You're okay."
But as she continued to stare in the direction where the car had disappeared, she wondered if she was telling him the truth.
Because the more she thought about it, the more it had seemed to her that that car had [I]wanted[/I] to hit Ben. It had appeared like a near-miss accident, but Liz's sixth sense was telling her that this was something much more.
It was time to meet Ben's father and figure out what the heck was going on with this kid.
***************************************************
"Oh my God. Is it really you?" Max stood up as Maria rushed across the room and threw her arms around him. "You're alive!"
"It's me." He hugged her back, knowing that there was nothing else to do. She knew, which meant that Liz was going to know. And soon.
"You big idiot!" She turned to glare at Michael. "[I]This[/I] is what you've been keeping from me? Isn't it?"
She whirled, bringing Max in on her sudden anger. "Why are you in Albuquerque? Why aren't you in Roswell with your family? Why haven't you seen Isabel? Or..." She smacked him lightly on the arm. "OR LIZ!" She threw her hands up in the air in fury. "I can't believe you guys! You are [I]such[/I] jerks!" She pulled a cell phone out of her purse, started dialing. "Well, this is easily rectified..."
Max felt his heart stop. "NO!"
"Maria..." Michael moved forward, a pained expression on his face.
"Don't you [I]Maria[/I] me!" She snapped. "I am going to kill you as soon as I get off this phone."
Michael didn't stop though. He grabbed the phone out of his girlfriend's hand and glowered at her. "You have no idea what's going on around here, so I suggest you listen before you start messing with everything." He yelled.
Maria stared at him for full minute, then turned to Max again. "How are you here?" She asked, sounding more reasonable again. Max almost couldn't stop himself from grinning. Hurricane Deluca, changing directions in a split second, just like always.
"Spaceship." He replied. "Ben and I escaped in one about a year ago."
Kyle raised his hands at this. "HOLD IT!" He shook his head, brought his hands down to his face and scrubbed. "Spaceship? Are you telling me that you actually landed a spaceship on this planet and [I]no one[/I] noticed?"
Max shrugged. "We were cloaked."
Maria waved her hand in the air in annoyance. "Who cares about spaceships? Who is this Ben?"
"Ben is my son." Max told her simply. "And I'm back because this is my home. It's his too."
More than they would ever know in fact.
Maria and Kyle exchanged a look. "Where's..." Kyle swallowed. "Where is his mother?"
Max wondered how long it would take someone to ask him that. They couldn't even say her name. He didn't blame them.
He had never hated anyone as much as he hated Ben's mother. But it had never stopped him from loving that little boy with every part of his heart.
"She's dead." What he didn't add was that Max had had to kill her himself, that he had had no choice - that she had been on the verge of killing her own son and the only way to stop her had been to end her life.
But that was something he tried not to think about. She was Ben's mother after all and he was going to have to someday explain to his son exactly what had happened to Tess Harding. He was not looking forward to it.
"Is...is he normal?" Maria asked. "I mean, I thought he couldn't survive in this atmosphere."
"He's a healthy, normal eight-year old." Max replied. "Tess lied." He added. "She lied about a lot of things as it turned out."
Maria's eyes closed briefly. Max knew she was thinking about Alex. He took a deep breath.
So they still missed him. He should have known they would. He missed him too and they hadn't even been that close. Alex Whitman's death had been the greatest tragedy of any of their lives because he had represented all that was best and brightest about their small band.
The rest of them had had flaws. Alex Whitman had had none. He had been loyal and brave and he had paid for it with his life.
It was because of his memory that he could not regret Tess's death. It might have been an accident, but she had deliberately used and abused the one person who had least deserved it. And, for that reason, her son was better off without her. Max would do everything in his power to make sure that Ben never missed her.
Once, before he had literally come back to Earth, to the reality that life had gone on without him here, he had hoped that Liz Parker would have replaced Tess in Ben's life. But that was just a dream, a fantasy, a fairy story that had no substance and was not meant to be.
Max was going to have to be enough.
It was in that instant that he realized that no one had gone to pick Ben up. "Michael! You need to go!" Max glanced at his watch in horror. It was almost an hour past the time when school ended. They had been so distracted by Maria and Kyle's arrival, they had completely forgotten about his son. What kind of father was he?
Michael's eyes widened. "Oh crap!" He turned to hurry out the door.
Maria whirled. "Where do you think you're going buster?" She demanded, moving to grab his arm. "You still have some explaining to do."
"Later." Michael shook her off.
Maria screeched in annoyance, but the expression on her face showed that she was more hurt than anything -that something as significant as Max coming home had happened and Michael had kept it from her.
The door slammed behind Michael and an uncomfortable silence descended over the group.
"I asked him not to tell you Maria." Max said, hoping to smooth things over a bit before Michael returned. The last thing he had ever wanted to do was disrupt his friends' lives with his return. He knew that Michael and Maria had bigger problems than the secret of his return, but apparently this had not helped matters any.
" I gathered that, but its still no excuse. I just don't understand why Max." Maria sat down on the couch, leaning back wearily, all the anger draining out of her.
"I agree." Kyle spoke up. He had been strangely quiet - as though he didn't feel like he truly belonged there, in this reunion between a group that had meant everything to each other.
"I..." Max ran a hand through his cropped hair, hair that he had cut as soon as he had returned to Earth. He had let it grow long on Antar, because that had been the fashion there, but he liked it better short. It made him feel more human this way. "I knew that I hurt everyone enough when I left. I needed to get the lay of the land, needed to know if me waltzing back into everyone's lives - with an eight-year-old kid yet - was too much." He paused. "And then I heard about Liz...and I decided that showing up in her life again - now - when she's about to get married, it just wasn't fair."
"[I]Now[/I] he thinks about others." Kyle muttered. Max eyed him for a moment, knew that Kyle was remembering all the times Max had ignored what was best for his friends, had pushed ahead with whatever plan he had come up with, dealing with consequences only [I] after[/I] it was too late to change anything. Healing Liz...Sleeping with Tess...Taking off with Langley... He had acted before thinking on all of those occasions and had almost destroyed the lives of all he held most dear in the process all three times.
"It's not your decision Max." Maria was glaring at Kyle, but Max could see that she was mainly in agreement with him, maybe just not with his tone. "Isabel and Liz both have the right to know that you're back and [I]you[/I] have to accept that you're going to have to take whatever revenge or anger or guilt they might want to dish out."
Kyle was still standing, staring at Max. "She's right." He stated. "Even if I thought you were a selfish idiot Evans, I never took you for a coward. Not in the old days."
Max felt as though he had been punched, which was followed by a rage so deep, he had to clench his fists to keep from attacking Kyle.
A coward! How dare he? Kyle Valenti had no idea of the meaning of the word. He had not gone through the eight years of hell Max had gone through - eight years alone, searching for a boy that meant more to him than anyone could possibly imagine, finding a way to liberate his planet in such a way that he wouldn't be needed anymore, that he could come back to them all!
But a small part of Max knew that Kyle was right. It was why he was so mad.
He was scared of his own sister, frightened that Isabel would reject him, that she had moved on without him, would have no desire to have him in her life.
And he was even more scared of Liz. Not of her personally, of course. No matter his past worries, he knew Liz would be glad to see him.
What he was really scared of was seeing pleasure that he was safe, but indifference in every other way. He did not know if he could face her and not see that flash of recognition, that even if they weren't together, even if they could never [I]be[/I] together, they both knew they were supposed to be.
Because he still felt it - that connection. If she didn't...He didn't know if he would be able to survive the pain of that. He had survived a lot - torture, physical and mental; loneliness, guilt, fear... But he could not survive losing the dream that he and Liz were two halves of the same whole, that they would always understand each other even if they couldn't be with each other.
But he knew that he had to face it. It was only fair. Maria and Kyle were both right. The least he could do was give both Izzy and Liz the chance to spit in his face if that's what they wanted to do. After all, he had had the chance with his worst enemies. They deserved the same.
"I know you're right." Max sighed heavily. "I just..."
"You don't want to hurt them again." Maria interrupted. "We understand that Max. But if they find out that you've been here for almost...how long? Two weeks, a month and didn't call them...You don't think that's going to hurt them a million times worse?"
Max joined Maria on the couch, buried his face in his hands. "You're right."
Maria scooted over, put her arm around his shoulders. "Because Max, I have to say..." He looked up at her sideways. "I'm really glad you're alive. And I have a feeling that how I feel is going to pale in comparison to how Liz and Isabel are going to feel - even if they don't show it at first."
Max stood up. "Okay. I'm going to do it. I'll just wait until Ben gets home..."
Maria narrowed her eyes at him. "Go now. I swear I'll make sure the kid eats okay, that Michael doesn't drown him in the bath-tub or something. Don't wait on this Max. Every minute counts here." She reached into her purse, grabbed a pen and piece of paper and scribbled something. "Here's Isabel's address. Start with her. I think she's going to be more hard actually. She is still pissed at you...even after all this time."
Max stared down at the address uncomprehendingly. His stomach was in knots, but excitement was building within him as well. His sister. He was going to see Izzy. And anger he could deal with - there was a thin line between love and hate after all.
It was Liz he was more worried about - because what Maria [I]didn't[/I] say worried him more than what she did. Liz was not going to be as difficult because she really wouldn't care that he was back.
He had lost her. He knew it with bone-shattering certainty. He had recognized that it might be so before, but not seeing her, he had always been able to hold onto the hope...the hope that if he returned there would be no Dan Riley anymore, that things could return to the way they were supposed to be - Max and Liz together, forever.
There was no hope anymore. His soul mate was lost to him - and he was just going to have to accept it.
To be continued...
Liz glanced at the clock, then back at Isabel who was sitting at her desk marking papers. "I'm getting a little worried Isabel." She was standing at the window, staring out at Ben, who was sitting on the grass in front of the school, patiently waiting for Michael to pick him up. "Michael hasn't arrived yet."
Whoever this neighbour of Michael's was, he clearly had yet to learn that Michael Guerin was not the most responsible baby-sitter in the world.
Isabel looked up, a frown marring her beautiful face. "Is he still out there?" She stood up, came to join Liz at the window. The two women continued to watch the little blond boy for several moments. "He did well today, didn't he?" She asked. When Liz nodded, Isabel continued, "I've never seen a kid so brilliant in math before. I gave him an aptitude test and he aced it - even some high school level questions."
"But he's still a kid." Liz remarked. "The other boys think he's great. I saw them all playing with him at recess. I couldn't make out what they were doing, but he had them enthralled with something."
Isabel nodded. "Yup, I think he's going to fit in just fine. I'm going to tell him to come wait in here. It's not safe for a little boy out there all by himself." She shook her head ruefully. "This is why I have never left Michael alone with Lexi."
Liz called after her, "Wait! Why don't I just walk him home? He has to live in this neighbourhood if he's registered here...doesn't he?"
Isabel shrugged. "Yes. But are you sure Liz?"
"Yeah. Then you can ream Michael out when he gets here [I]and[/I] get caught up with him afterward." Liz smiled. "Don't forget. You're digging for information. Plus, I wouldn't mind having a little chat with Ben, seeing how he feels after his first day."
Isabel grinned. "You've got this teacher stuff down pat already Parker."
Liz blushed with pleasure. "I had a great day Isabel. Thanks so much for letting me come."
She [I]had[/I] had a wonderful day. She had loved every minute of it, from helping Isabel give a spelling test, to working in a small group with some kids who needed help with their reading. The way their eyes lit up when they understood something - it was the closest thing Liz had experienced to instant gratification in a job.
For the first time, in a long time, she had actually felt like she was doing something important, something that really made a difference.
And the best part of the whole thing was that it had actually kept her mind off of Max Evans for the entire day. That had to be saying something.
Harvard and Boston seemed to be less attractive to her every time she thought about them though, which was a problem. She still had no idea how she was going to tell Dan that she really did not want to go back to her present job after the wedding. He was not going to be happy.
"Hey, I should be thanking you." Isabel protested. She turned back to her papers. "I'll see you at home in a while."
Liz nodded, picked up her jacket and purse and hurried out of the building.
She paused for a moment as her eyes settled on the Ben. He was occupying himself in a typical kid way - his arms were twisted around each other and then were looped over his neck. He looked like a pretzel. She laughed, remembering how proud Alex had always been of himself whenever he managed to contort his body into some new formation. Of course, Alex had [I]still[/I] been doing that kind of stuff in high school...
Well, it had always confirmed to she and Maria what they had always known anyway. Boys were weird, Alex in particular. It was why they had loved him so much. It was why she still missed him with a deep, dull ache that never went away.
"Hey!" She called to Ben.
He looked up, a smile breaking out across his face. "Hi Liz!" They had agreed that he would call her Miss Parker in class but that when they were alone he could call her Liz - since they were both the "newbies" and all. Liz had bonded with this kid because of it and she had seen him looking at her several times during the day, to make sure that he was doing things right.
If she hadn't known better, she almost would have thought that this was the first time Ben had ever been in school. But he was so polite and so smart, she knew that that couldn't have been true.
"No sign of your ride yet?" She asked quietly.
Ben's smile faltered a bit. "I don't get it. My dad would never leave me just sitting here. Something must have happened to him or Michael." Liz felt her heart go out to him, knew that she was going to kill Michael the next time she saw him.
"Well, do you feel like going for a walk with me?" Liz asked. "I can walk you home if you like."
Ben looked doubtful. "I want to but I'm not sure..."
"You do know the way?"
"Sure." Ben said, with that typical eight-year-old arrogance. "It's just that my dad told me not to go anywhere until Michael came to get me."
"Your dad's careful, which is good." Liz replied, "But he probably doesn't know Michael nearly as well as I do. If he's not here yet, he's not coming."
"My dad has known him since Grade 4." Ben's expression was confused. "At least that's what he told me. They were the same age as me when they met."
"Really?" Liz was interested. "That means your dad probably went to school in Roswell." She reflected on how quickly Michael had denied that Liz knew Ben's father that morning. She was about to ask him what his dad's name was when she noticed a car heading towards them, going at so quickly, the tires were squealing.
She rolled her eyes. That had to be Michael. But as the car approached, Liz realized that it wasn't slowing down. In fact, it seemed to be speeding up. She realized that Ben was standing far too close to the curb. The car was swerving, something obviously seriously wrong with the driver.
"Ben!" Liz shrieked, moving forward and grabbing him just as the car ran over the curb, passing through the spot where the child had been standing only seconds before.
Liz had fallen over onto the grass, pulling Ben down with her. She sat up, stared after the car in shock, which was screeching around the corner at the far end of the quiet street upon which the school was located. "Are you okay Sweetie?" She asked, pulling him against her side. She had seen the expression of terror in his blue eyes as he stared at her, clearly not comprehending what had almost happened to him, but knowing that he had had a narrow escape.
"I want to go home." His eyes began to fill with tears. Liz could see Isabel running across the grass towards them, yelling her name, clearly having witnessed the whole thing through her classroom window.
Liz stood up, pulled Ben up with her, hugged him tightly. "It's okay. I'll take you home. You're okay."
But as she continued to stare in the direction where the car had disappeared, she wondered if she was telling him the truth.
Because the more she thought about it, the more it had seemed to her that that car had [I]wanted[/I] to hit Ben. It had appeared like a near-miss accident, but Liz's sixth sense was telling her that this was something much more.
It was time to meet Ben's father and figure out what the heck was going on with this kid.
***************************************************
"Oh my God. Is it really you?" Max stood up as Maria rushed across the room and threw her arms around him. "You're alive!"
"It's me." He hugged her back, knowing that there was nothing else to do. She knew, which meant that Liz was going to know. And soon.
"You big idiot!" She turned to glare at Michael. "[I]This[/I] is what you've been keeping from me? Isn't it?"
She whirled, bringing Max in on her sudden anger. "Why are you in Albuquerque? Why aren't you in Roswell with your family? Why haven't you seen Isabel? Or..." She smacked him lightly on the arm. "OR LIZ!" She threw her hands up in the air in fury. "I can't believe you guys! You are [I]such[/I] jerks!" She pulled a cell phone out of her purse, started dialing. "Well, this is easily rectified..."
Max felt his heart stop. "NO!"
"Maria..." Michael moved forward, a pained expression on his face.
"Don't you [I]Maria[/I] me!" She snapped. "I am going to kill you as soon as I get off this phone."
Michael didn't stop though. He grabbed the phone out of his girlfriend's hand and glowered at her. "You have no idea what's going on around here, so I suggest you listen before you start messing with everything." He yelled.
Maria stared at him for full minute, then turned to Max again. "How are you here?" She asked, sounding more reasonable again. Max almost couldn't stop himself from grinning. Hurricane Deluca, changing directions in a split second, just like always.
"Spaceship." He replied. "Ben and I escaped in one about a year ago."
Kyle raised his hands at this. "HOLD IT!" He shook his head, brought his hands down to his face and scrubbed. "Spaceship? Are you telling me that you actually landed a spaceship on this planet and [I]no one[/I] noticed?"
Max shrugged. "We were cloaked."
Maria waved her hand in the air in annoyance. "Who cares about spaceships? Who is this Ben?"
"Ben is my son." Max told her simply. "And I'm back because this is my home. It's his too."
More than they would ever know in fact.
Maria and Kyle exchanged a look. "Where's..." Kyle swallowed. "Where is his mother?"
Max wondered how long it would take someone to ask him that. They couldn't even say her name. He didn't blame them.
He had never hated anyone as much as he hated Ben's mother. But it had never stopped him from loving that little boy with every part of his heart.
"She's dead." What he didn't add was that Max had had to kill her himself, that he had had no choice - that she had been on the verge of killing her own son and the only way to stop her had been to end her life.
But that was something he tried not to think about. She was Ben's mother after all and he was going to have to someday explain to his son exactly what had happened to Tess Harding. He was not looking forward to it.
"Is...is he normal?" Maria asked. "I mean, I thought he couldn't survive in this atmosphere."
"He's a healthy, normal eight-year old." Max replied. "Tess lied." He added. "She lied about a lot of things as it turned out."
Maria's eyes closed briefly. Max knew she was thinking about Alex. He took a deep breath.
So they still missed him. He should have known they would. He missed him too and they hadn't even been that close. Alex Whitman's death had been the greatest tragedy of any of their lives because he had represented all that was best and brightest about their small band.
The rest of them had had flaws. Alex Whitman had had none. He had been loyal and brave and he had paid for it with his life.
It was because of his memory that he could not regret Tess's death. It might have been an accident, but she had deliberately used and abused the one person who had least deserved it. And, for that reason, her son was better off without her. Max would do everything in his power to make sure that Ben never missed her.
Once, before he had literally come back to Earth, to the reality that life had gone on without him here, he had hoped that Liz Parker would have replaced Tess in Ben's life. But that was just a dream, a fantasy, a fairy story that had no substance and was not meant to be.
Max was going to have to be enough.
It was in that instant that he realized that no one had gone to pick Ben up. "Michael! You need to go!" Max glanced at his watch in horror. It was almost an hour past the time when school ended. They had been so distracted by Maria and Kyle's arrival, they had completely forgotten about his son. What kind of father was he?
Michael's eyes widened. "Oh crap!" He turned to hurry out the door.
Maria whirled. "Where do you think you're going buster?" She demanded, moving to grab his arm. "You still have some explaining to do."
"Later." Michael shook her off.
Maria screeched in annoyance, but the expression on her face showed that she was more hurt than anything -that something as significant as Max coming home had happened and Michael had kept it from her.
The door slammed behind Michael and an uncomfortable silence descended over the group.
"I asked him not to tell you Maria." Max said, hoping to smooth things over a bit before Michael returned. The last thing he had ever wanted to do was disrupt his friends' lives with his return. He knew that Michael and Maria had bigger problems than the secret of his return, but apparently this had not helped matters any.
" I gathered that, but its still no excuse. I just don't understand why Max." Maria sat down on the couch, leaning back wearily, all the anger draining out of her.
"I agree." Kyle spoke up. He had been strangely quiet - as though he didn't feel like he truly belonged there, in this reunion between a group that had meant everything to each other.
"I..." Max ran a hand through his cropped hair, hair that he had cut as soon as he had returned to Earth. He had let it grow long on Antar, because that had been the fashion there, but he liked it better short. It made him feel more human this way. "I knew that I hurt everyone enough when I left. I needed to get the lay of the land, needed to know if me waltzing back into everyone's lives - with an eight-year-old kid yet - was too much." He paused. "And then I heard about Liz...and I decided that showing up in her life again - now - when she's about to get married, it just wasn't fair."
"[I]Now[/I] he thinks about others." Kyle muttered. Max eyed him for a moment, knew that Kyle was remembering all the times Max had ignored what was best for his friends, had pushed ahead with whatever plan he had come up with, dealing with consequences only [I] after[/I] it was too late to change anything. Healing Liz...Sleeping with Tess...Taking off with Langley... He had acted before thinking on all of those occasions and had almost destroyed the lives of all he held most dear in the process all three times.
"It's not your decision Max." Maria was glaring at Kyle, but Max could see that she was mainly in agreement with him, maybe just not with his tone. "Isabel and Liz both have the right to know that you're back and [I]you[/I] have to accept that you're going to have to take whatever revenge or anger or guilt they might want to dish out."
Kyle was still standing, staring at Max. "She's right." He stated. "Even if I thought you were a selfish idiot Evans, I never took you for a coward. Not in the old days."
Max felt as though he had been punched, which was followed by a rage so deep, he had to clench his fists to keep from attacking Kyle.
A coward! How dare he? Kyle Valenti had no idea of the meaning of the word. He had not gone through the eight years of hell Max had gone through - eight years alone, searching for a boy that meant more to him than anyone could possibly imagine, finding a way to liberate his planet in such a way that he wouldn't be needed anymore, that he could come back to them all!
But a small part of Max knew that Kyle was right. It was why he was so mad.
He was scared of his own sister, frightened that Isabel would reject him, that she had moved on without him, would have no desire to have him in her life.
And he was even more scared of Liz. Not of her personally, of course. No matter his past worries, he knew Liz would be glad to see him.
What he was really scared of was seeing pleasure that he was safe, but indifference in every other way. He did not know if he could face her and not see that flash of recognition, that even if they weren't together, even if they could never [I]be[/I] together, they both knew they were supposed to be.
Because he still felt it - that connection. If she didn't...He didn't know if he would be able to survive the pain of that. He had survived a lot - torture, physical and mental; loneliness, guilt, fear... But he could not survive losing the dream that he and Liz were two halves of the same whole, that they would always understand each other even if they couldn't be with each other.
But he knew that he had to face it. It was only fair. Maria and Kyle were both right. The least he could do was give both Izzy and Liz the chance to spit in his face if that's what they wanted to do. After all, he had had the chance with his worst enemies. They deserved the same.
"I know you're right." Max sighed heavily. "I just..."
"You don't want to hurt them again." Maria interrupted. "We understand that Max. But if they find out that you've been here for almost...how long? Two weeks, a month and didn't call them...You don't think that's going to hurt them a million times worse?"
Max joined Maria on the couch, buried his face in his hands. "You're right."
Maria scooted over, put her arm around his shoulders. "Because Max, I have to say..." He looked up at her sideways. "I'm really glad you're alive. And I have a feeling that how I feel is going to pale in comparison to how Liz and Isabel are going to feel - even if they don't show it at first."
Max stood up. "Okay. I'm going to do it. I'll just wait until Ben gets home..."
Maria narrowed her eyes at him. "Go now. I swear I'll make sure the kid eats okay, that Michael doesn't drown him in the bath-tub or something. Don't wait on this Max. Every minute counts here." She reached into her purse, grabbed a pen and piece of paper and scribbled something. "Here's Isabel's address. Start with her. I think she's going to be more hard actually. She is still pissed at you...even after all this time."
Max stared down at the address uncomprehendingly. His stomach was in knots, but excitement was building within him as well. His sister. He was going to see Izzy. And anger he could deal with - there was a thin line between love and hate after all.
It was Liz he was more worried about - because what Maria [I]didn't[/I] say worried him more than what she did. Liz was not going to be as difficult because she really wouldn't care that he was back.
He had lost her. He knew it with bone-shattering certainty. He had recognized that it might be so before, but not seeing her, he had always been able to hold onto the hope...the hope that if he returned there would be no Dan Riley anymore, that things could return to the way they were supposed to be - Max and Liz together, forever.
There was no hope anymore. His soul mate was lost to him - and he was just going to have to accept it.
To be continued...