Part 18
Liz was no longer seething ten minutes later. Instead, she was sitting on the dirty floor leaning up against the equally filthy bathtub, staring straight ahead, her mind whirling in a thousand different directions.
After slamming the bathroom door in Max's face she had paced around the small room in a mindless fury, her one desire to break something. Unfortunately there had been nothing around that fit the bill. So she had continued to stalk about, feeling like a caged animal, thinking of numerous ways that she could go about removing that smug smirk from Max Evans's face the next time she was forced to be in his presence.
It had only been when she had caught a glimpse of her flushed face and wild eyes in the dirty mirror over the sink that she had stopped, taking deep breaths in an attempt to control herself.
Because that one glance had instantly brought to mind the only other time she had so completely lost control of herself. Max had been responsible for that too. The circumstances had been far different, but he had been responsible. Maybe not directly, but in every way that counted.
Liz had not immediately left Roswell after her Senior year of high school. She had, to the horror of her parents, deferred her Harvard acceptance for a year and had continued to work in the Crashdown, convinced down to the very marrow of her bones that Max was about to return at any time. She refused to leave town, refused to take the chance that he might show up suddenly, that he might need her and she wouldn't be there. It was what you did when you loved someone after all. She would not desert him.
It had taken an entirely stupid incident for her to realize that [I]she[/I] was the one who had been deserted.
She had been driving back from Hondo, having gone to pick up something for the restaurant for her dad. She had been in her parent's car, the radio blaring as she sang along to some song or another. She couldn't remember now what song it had been, but she could still remember how light her heart had felt. She had actually been [I]happy[/I]] for the first time in a long time.
At some point though, the sound on the radio had begun to fade in and out. The very innocent thought that she should get Max to take a look at it had crossed her mind. She had remembered what Maria had once told her about Isabel having been able to use her powers to fix the radio in the Jetta.
It had actually taken her thirty seconds to remember that Max couldn't look at it - that Max couldn't do anything for her anymore. Max was [I]gone[/I]. Max had [I]been[/I] gone for close to a year at that point and it had taken her almost half a minute to remember it.
It was in that moment that she had realized that she was slowly driving herself insane.
She had stopped the car on the side of the road, had buried her face in her hands and had screamed at the top of her lungs until her voice was hoarse.
When she had finally regained her composure, she had caught a glimpse of herself in the rear-view mirror of the car and her face had looked [I]exactly[/I] like it did now - red and blotchy and completely out of control.
In that moment she had decided that he was never going to make her feel that way again.
She had left for Harvard a few months later and had not looked back. The Liz Parker who had loved Max Evans so much she had burned with it, had lost her mind over it, had been gone forever.
But, as she had stared at herself in the mirror moments ago, she had realized that that Liz had only been lying dormant while they had been separated, while she had shut her memories of him out of her life, had completely shut off the emotions he engendered. But now [I]that[/I] Liz was back, with a vengeance. And the fact that something deep inside of her was [I]pleased[/I] about it made the whole mess even sicker.
It was why she loved Dan now. He was safe, did not stir up these wild emotions, feelings that she did not enjoy, that she was too damn [I]old[/I] for.
It was one thing to be a fool in love at seventeen. At twenty-six it was just kind of embarrassing... and it was most definitely crazy.
Which she apparently was, because, for one incredible, horrible moment, while Max had told her that he was not going to give up on her, that he did not accept her decision, all she had wanted to do was throw herself into his arms.
Crazy. Insane. No question about it.
The fact that being around Max recently had also resulted in the one truly calm, peaceful moment of her life during the past eight years did not mean anything. Besides, that could just as easily be attributed to Ben - to the fact that she had been blessed with the presence of the child of her best friend, one she had missed with every fibre of her being since his premature death.
No. It had not been Max, had not been about lying in a bed with him, knowing he was safe and [I]here[/I], for one perfect moment all right with the world. How could it have been when the mere thought of him now made her want to smash something - preferably his perfect face?
It could not have been him, even though in the instant when she had woken up in his arms, when her eyes had momentarily gazed into his, before she had realized where she was, she had felt like she had finally come home again, for the first time in so long, it had almost made her eyes well up with tears of contentment.
But it had been a mistake. She loved him, but he was not right for her. He was controlling and irresponsible and untrustworthy.
Well, maybe not irresponsible - not that any longer. The way he acted about Ben...There was no question in Liz's mind that the child came first with Max, in every way.
It was an attractive quality, one that she [I]knew[/I] he was using to seduce her. Just like he had seduced her the first time, with healing in his hands and stars in his eyes - stars that had shone only for her...until Tess.
The most horrible and confusing part of it all was that she did not doubt that he loved her, that he had [I]always[/I] loved her, but, in the end, it had never been enough. He had turned from her in anger once and had slept with Tess, the person who had killed Liz's best friend, and then he had left her, Liz, behind to follow that snake across the universe.
She could not trust her heart to him again. It was impossible.
How dare he proclaim that he wasn't going to [I]let[/I] her turn her back on him? She wasn't turning her back on [I]him[/I]! She was struggling to maintain her sanity. Giving into him, trusting him again, letting go of someone like Dan was just that after all. Crazy.
Liz could feel the rage beginning to run through her veins again. He was not King Zan anymore, had told her as much himself. If he thought that he could come back here and pick up where he had left off on Antar, ordering everyone around, ordering [I]her[/I] around, he was the crazy one!
She could feel herself getting worked up again. Turning on the sink, she watched the water, rusty from years of disuse, rush down the drain. When it had finally cleared, she cupped her hands together, collected a handful and splashed it over her face, willing herself to calm down.
Because she knew that this was what he wanted. He wanted her worked up over him - even if it was in anger. Because anger was better than nothing.
She was not going to give him the satisfaction.
It was only after she turned off the sink that she became aware of the tentative tapping on the door.
"MAX! Go away!" She snapped, before she could control herself. She rolled her eyes in annoyance. She did [I]not[/I] want him to know that she was still mad. She knew that he [I]liked[/I] that he had been able to rile her up the way he had.
Even if he had not said it, his face had shown it. [I]Does Dan ever make you feel this way? Does Dan make you want to kiss him and kill him in the same breath?[/I] She had almost been able to hear him asking the questions in her mind, had needed to slam the door to effectively shut them off.
Since the answer to both was an unqualified no, the whole thing had been even [I]more[/I] maddening.
She hated him. She really did.
"Liz, it's me." Ben's small voice came through the door. "Are you okay?"
Liz blinked, then grimaced. Ben! What had she been thinking? He had to be absolutely terrified by her behavior. Getting the small boy to trust her now, after she had screamed like a banshee at the father he adored...She felt her heart fall at the thought of it.
She had to fix things with him. For Alex's sake. For Ben's sake. For her [I]own[/I] sake.
Because nothing - not even anger at Max - was going to keep her from being a part of Alex's son's life.
Liz opened the door, smiled down at Ben, who was staring at her anxiously.
It had started out forced, the smile, but just seeing him, just seeing Alex reflected back at her in that small face, made it genuine before she even knew what was happening. He might have Tess's hair and eye colour, might posses Tess's amazing gift, but he was Alex's son. And she loved him.
"Did my dad make you mad?" Ben asked, his expression worried. He reached out and took her hand, speaking so quickly, he stumbled over the words. "He said...he said he did, but he didn't sound sorry about it. So I thought I would say sorry...for him. Because he told me that he really likes you and I don't think he really meant it..." Ben trailed off, apparently losing his train of thought. He looked absolutely bewildered and desperate - like he could not understand any of this, but he knew that he didn't like it.
She felt another flash of intense annoyance at Max. Liz pulled Ben towards her, hugged him lightly. "Whatever happens between me and your dad has nothing to do with you sweetie. Whether I'm mad at him or not, it does not mean that I'm mad at you." She stepped back, looked down at him. She could see a glimmer of relief in his blue eyes. "That's what you thought huh?"
"No." Ben denied vehemently, shaking his head, but Liz could see that he had. "But I wish you guys would be friends." He paused, then asked carefully. "Don't you like my dad Liz?"
She sighed, decided that she had no choice but to reassure him, even though, at the moment, she was practically lying to him. "I like him Ben. I promise. He's my friend. But sometimes friends make each other pretty angry."
Ben frowned slightly, biting his lip. Then he blurted, "Did you ever get mad at my other dad too? He was your friend."
Liz felt her heart stop. "You mean my friend Alex?" She asked lightly, trying not to let her voice crack. "Hardly ever." She smiled sadly. No, she and Alex had rarely fought. They had only ever argued one time actually - over Max. When Liz had been keeping Max's secret from him.
He nodded, as though not surprised. There was a pause, and then, "Did you like [I]him[/I] better than my dad - [I]this[/I] dad I mean? Is that why you're so mad?"
"We were a different kind of friends." Liz explained gently. "How much do you know about your other father?" She was trying to keep her voice steady, reassuring, but her entire being was screaming for Alex, for what he had missed, that he was never going to get the chance to be to this child what he would have wanted to be.
"I know his name was Alex Whitman." Ben replied. "He liked computers."
[I]He liked computers.[/I]
Liz felt tears welling in her eyes. Alex had been about so much more than that. But how could Max have told Ben anything else? He had barely known Alex. Yes, he had trusted him, had almost died with him on several occasions, but they had never been close. In fact, their only real connection had been Liz...and, later, Isabel of course.
That all Ben knew about Alex was that he had liked computers. It was just completely wrong.
Dealing with Max was going to have to wait. This was too important.
"And he was really brave." Ben continued, sounding proud, oblivious to Liz's resolve. "My dad said so."
"Yes, he was." Liz agreed. She took Ben by the hand, led him out into the main dome area and back into the bedroom. They both flopped back onto the bed, lay staring up at the ceiling. "But that's not all he was. He was also a real scaredy cat."
"What do you mean?" Ben asked. "How can someone be brave and scared at the same time?"
"Well, let me tell you about the time Maria and I snuck over to Alex's house in the middle of the night..."
********************************************************
Max came back into the house after finally getting off the phone with Michael.
It had taken close to five minutes for Michael to finally stutter an explanation as to how he and Maria had gone from hating each other's guts only yesterday to engagement today.
"Michael, you do realize that you just made getting engaged sound like a death sentence." Max had managed to ask wryly, after his shock had finally worn off.
Michael had sighed heavily. "It's not that Max. It's just that I wish that we could have made this decision under different circumstances. I think she would have appreciated a more romantic venue."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, it happened like five minutes ago. We were having some sort of stupid argument, as usual. I think it was about what to order. I decided I wanted a hamburger instead of a grilled cheese. She got mad." Max had tried to suppress a snort, but had failed miserably. "Are you laughing at me Maxwell?" Michael had demanded, sounding annoyed.
"Er - no. I swear." But he had been having a hard time [I]not[/I] laughing, it was true. The complete absurdity of Michael and Maria somehow, finally, getting engaged, in the middle of a crisis, was just [I]so[/I] typical, it had made Max so suddenly giddy with happiness, all he had wanted to do was laugh.
He was home.
He was [I]really[/I] back on Earth. He had been here for a month, but everything had been so far from typical, so far from usual, he had not really [I]felt[/I] it until this moment. He had been in hiding, away from the people he really cared about, but now it was all falling back into place. Finally.
And it wasn't just Michael and Maria.
It was the feeling of peace that had settled over him when he had finally acknowledged that he was going to be unable to let Liz go, that he was going to [I]have[/I] to win her back.
Because, without her, there was no home.
"Anyway," Michael had continued. "Maria started screeching about how this was so typical of me. That I couldn't make a commitment to anything, even a grilled cheese sandwich. She was holding Lexi at the time and the baby started wailing. Isabel got really pissed off. She started yelling about how we were just both too stubborn to admit that we wanted to get married, but that neither of us was willing to do the asking. I think Dan thought we were all complete psychos. No wonder he thinks you kidnapped Liz."
"And?" Max had asked, shaking his head at Isabel's obviously correct assessment of the situation, and rolling his eyes at the Dan comment at the same time.
"She was right." Michael had admitted. "I already told you I wanted to get married. But I was sure she didn't. Turns out she was constantly babbling about [I]not[/I] wanting to get married because she didn't want me to ask unless I really wanted to."
"Michael, you do know that you and Maria are going to have to figure out how to communicate without yelling at some point in your relationship, don't you?" Max had asked, still smiling.
"Nah." Michael had replied. "It's when we [I]stop[/I] fighting that things get screwed up."
Max had genuinely laughed at that. "So, are you happy about this?"
"Yeah."
"Well then, congratulations."
"Whatever." Max had heard the pleasure in Michael's voice however. "What I really want to know, is what we're going to do about this Dan character."
Unfortunately, there was only one thing that could be done about Dan.
Liz was going to have to deal with him. There was no other choice. She had to leave.
Up until this point, she had refused to leave Ben. Even after her panic attack of a few minutes ago and her even more recent anger, she was not going to want to go.
And Max certainly did not want her to. But she [I]had[/I] to. The others would not be safe until they arrived here, until they all figured out what they were going to do about Nicholas, and it was clear Dan was not going to let them come without him, which was just unacceptable. Kyle [I]might[/I] be able to help, but he couldn't arrest Dan for being in a public truck stop or on a public highway.
As he moved towards the sound of voices at the back of the dome, the less he wanted to let her go. He couldn't imagine not being with her, even if she was still angry. Because [I]being[/I] with her, in any state, was all he wanted.
It was all he wanted [I]after[/I] making sure his son was safe. Which was why she had to go - for now. Whatever transpired after that was up to her. Dan was [I]her[/I] fiancé after all. If she wanted to come back, she was going to have to do something about him.
Max had every intention of winning Liz back, but not if it meant putting his son in danger. If she chose Dan, he was going to have to let her go, even if it was going to kill him inside.
And, so, a loophole in his resolve to win her back had been found already. He hated it, but there was no alternative.
He paused outside the door to the bedroom. He could hear Ben and Liz talking, but their voices were so low, it was difficult to make out what they were saying at first. Gradually he began to understand though. When he realized that they were talking about Alex, he smiled slightly to himself.
"...think that maybe I could learn to play the guitar? Like Alex did?" Ben was asking.
"I don't see why not." Liz replied. "I know Maria still has Alex's old one. I bet she would let you have it." Max could tell that she was trying to keep her voice steady, but that her grief was beginning to get the better of her. He frowned slightly, wondered how long it had been since she had thought about Alex like this. It was clear that she had still not gotten over his death, even after all this time. Not that he had expected her to, but, he was ashamed to say, it gave him a spark of hope.
She had told him that she had mourned [I]him[/I] too. That she had moved on. He was beginning to understand that it had been a lie. She had not moved beyond any of it. Not Alex, not him either.
And yet, the last thing he wanted their new relationship to be built on was pain and heart-ache from the past. What they had been to each other before - before he had left her - had been amazing and heart-rending and life-changing.
But it was over. It had to be. They could never go back. Not to that other lifetime and not to before Tess.
It would all shape where they ended up, but they had to start from scratch, had to make a [I]new[/I] life together. They owed it to themselves. They [I]deserved[/I] to be happy, together.
It was how he would convince her. It was how he would win her back.
But not now. Not when Ben's life was in danger.
Soon though. Very soon.
With that thought, he knocked lightly on the half-closed bedroom door. "Hey guys. I really don't want to interrupt. It sounds like you're having a really important conversation, but something's come up. Listen Liz...We have a bit of a problem."
To be continued...
Liz was no longer seething ten minutes later. Instead, she was sitting on the dirty floor leaning up against the equally filthy bathtub, staring straight ahead, her mind whirling in a thousand different directions.
After slamming the bathroom door in Max's face she had paced around the small room in a mindless fury, her one desire to break something. Unfortunately there had been nothing around that fit the bill. So she had continued to stalk about, feeling like a caged animal, thinking of numerous ways that she could go about removing that smug smirk from Max Evans's face the next time she was forced to be in his presence.
It had only been when she had caught a glimpse of her flushed face and wild eyes in the dirty mirror over the sink that she had stopped, taking deep breaths in an attempt to control herself.
Because that one glance had instantly brought to mind the only other time she had so completely lost control of herself. Max had been responsible for that too. The circumstances had been far different, but he had been responsible. Maybe not directly, but in every way that counted.
Liz had not immediately left Roswell after her Senior year of high school. She had, to the horror of her parents, deferred her Harvard acceptance for a year and had continued to work in the Crashdown, convinced down to the very marrow of her bones that Max was about to return at any time. She refused to leave town, refused to take the chance that he might show up suddenly, that he might need her and she wouldn't be there. It was what you did when you loved someone after all. She would not desert him.
It had taken an entirely stupid incident for her to realize that [I]she[/I] was the one who had been deserted.
She had been driving back from Hondo, having gone to pick up something for the restaurant for her dad. She had been in her parent's car, the radio blaring as she sang along to some song or another. She couldn't remember now what song it had been, but she could still remember how light her heart had felt. She had actually been [I]happy[/I]] for the first time in a long time.
At some point though, the sound on the radio had begun to fade in and out. The very innocent thought that she should get Max to take a look at it had crossed her mind. She had remembered what Maria had once told her about Isabel having been able to use her powers to fix the radio in the Jetta.
It had actually taken her thirty seconds to remember that Max couldn't look at it - that Max couldn't do anything for her anymore. Max was [I]gone[/I]. Max had [I]been[/I] gone for close to a year at that point and it had taken her almost half a minute to remember it.
It was in that moment that she had realized that she was slowly driving herself insane.
She had stopped the car on the side of the road, had buried her face in her hands and had screamed at the top of her lungs until her voice was hoarse.
When she had finally regained her composure, she had caught a glimpse of herself in the rear-view mirror of the car and her face had looked [I]exactly[/I] like it did now - red and blotchy and completely out of control.
In that moment she had decided that he was never going to make her feel that way again.
She had left for Harvard a few months later and had not looked back. The Liz Parker who had loved Max Evans so much she had burned with it, had lost her mind over it, had been gone forever.
But, as she had stared at herself in the mirror moments ago, she had realized that that Liz had only been lying dormant while they had been separated, while she had shut her memories of him out of her life, had completely shut off the emotions he engendered. But now [I]that[/I] Liz was back, with a vengeance. And the fact that something deep inside of her was [I]pleased[/I] about it made the whole mess even sicker.
It was why she loved Dan now. He was safe, did not stir up these wild emotions, feelings that she did not enjoy, that she was too damn [I]old[/I] for.
It was one thing to be a fool in love at seventeen. At twenty-six it was just kind of embarrassing... and it was most definitely crazy.
Which she apparently was, because, for one incredible, horrible moment, while Max had told her that he was not going to give up on her, that he did not accept her decision, all she had wanted to do was throw herself into his arms.
Crazy. Insane. No question about it.
The fact that being around Max recently had also resulted in the one truly calm, peaceful moment of her life during the past eight years did not mean anything. Besides, that could just as easily be attributed to Ben - to the fact that she had been blessed with the presence of the child of her best friend, one she had missed with every fibre of her being since his premature death.
No. It had not been Max, had not been about lying in a bed with him, knowing he was safe and [I]here[/I], for one perfect moment all right with the world. How could it have been when the mere thought of him now made her want to smash something - preferably his perfect face?
It could not have been him, even though in the instant when she had woken up in his arms, when her eyes had momentarily gazed into his, before she had realized where she was, she had felt like she had finally come home again, for the first time in so long, it had almost made her eyes well up with tears of contentment.
But it had been a mistake. She loved him, but he was not right for her. He was controlling and irresponsible and untrustworthy.
Well, maybe not irresponsible - not that any longer. The way he acted about Ben...There was no question in Liz's mind that the child came first with Max, in every way.
It was an attractive quality, one that she [I]knew[/I] he was using to seduce her. Just like he had seduced her the first time, with healing in his hands and stars in his eyes - stars that had shone only for her...until Tess.
The most horrible and confusing part of it all was that she did not doubt that he loved her, that he had [I]always[/I] loved her, but, in the end, it had never been enough. He had turned from her in anger once and had slept with Tess, the person who had killed Liz's best friend, and then he had left her, Liz, behind to follow that snake across the universe.
She could not trust her heart to him again. It was impossible.
How dare he proclaim that he wasn't going to [I]let[/I] her turn her back on him? She wasn't turning her back on [I]him[/I]! She was struggling to maintain her sanity. Giving into him, trusting him again, letting go of someone like Dan was just that after all. Crazy.
Liz could feel the rage beginning to run through her veins again. He was not King Zan anymore, had told her as much himself. If he thought that he could come back here and pick up where he had left off on Antar, ordering everyone around, ordering [I]her[/I] around, he was the crazy one!
She could feel herself getting worked up again. Turning on the sink, she watched the water, rusty from years of disuse, rush down the drain. When it had finally cleared, she cupped her hands together, collected a handful and splashed it over her face, willing herself to calm down.
Because she knew that this was what he wanted. He wanted her worked up over him - even if it was in anger. Because anger was better than nothing.
She was not going to give him the satisfaction.
It was only after she turned off the sink that she became aware of the tentative tapping on the door.
"MAX! Go away!" She snapped, before she could control herself. She rolled her eyes in annoyance. She did [I]not[/I] want him to know that she was still mad. She knew that he [I]liked[/I] that he had been able to rile her up the way he had.
Even if he had not said it, his face had shown it. [I]Does Dan ever make you feel this way? Does Dan make you want to kiss him and kill him in the same breath?[/I] She had almost been able to hear him asking the questions in her mind, had needed to slam the door to effectively shut them off.
Since the answer to both was an unqualified no, the whole thing had been even [I]more[/I] maddening.
She hated him. She really did.
"Liz, it's me." Ben's small voice came through the door. "Are you okay?"
Liz blinked, then grimaced. Ben! What had she been thinking? He had to be absolutely terrified by her behavior. Getting the small boy to trust her now, after she had screamed like a banshee at the father he adored...She felt her heart fall at the thought of it.
She had to fix things with him. For Alex's sake. For Ben's sake. For her [I]own[/I] sake.
Because nothing - not even anger at Max - was going to keep her from being a part of Alex's son's life.
Liz opened the door, smiled down at Ben, who was staring at her anxiously.
It had started out forced, the smile, but just seeing him, just seeing Alex reflected back at her in that small face, made it genuine before she even knew what was happening. He might have Tess's hair and eye colour, might posses Tess's amazing gift, but he was Alex's son. And she loved him.
"Did my dad make you mad?" Ben asked, his expression worried. He reached out and took her hand, speaking so quickly, he stumbled over the words. "He said...he said he did, but he didn't sound sorry about it. So I thought I would say sorry...for him. Because he told me that he really likes you and I don't think he really meant it..." Ben trailed off, apparently losing his train of thought. He looked absolutely bewildered and desperate - like he could not understand any of this, but he knew that he didn't like it.
She felt another flash of intense annoyance at Max. Liz pulled Ben towards her, hugged him lightly. "Whatever happens between me and your dad has nothing to do with you sweetie. Whether I'm mad at him or not, it does not mean that I'm mad at you." She stepped back, looked down at him. She could see a glimmer of relief in his blue eyes. "That's what you thought huh?"
"No." Ben denied vehemently, shaking his head, but Liz could see that he had. "But I wish you guys would be friends." He paused, then asked carefully. "Don't you like my dad Liz?"
She sighed, decided that she had no choice but to reassure him, even though, at the moment, she was practically lying to him. "I like him Ben. I promise. He's my friend. But sometimes friends make each other pretty angry."
Ben frowned slightly, biting his lip. Then he blurted, "Did you ever get mad at my other dad too? He was your friend."
Liz felt her heart stop. "You mean my friend Alex?" She asked lightly, trying not to let her voice crack. "Hardly ever." She smiled sadly. No, she and Alex had rarely fought. They had only ever argued one time actually - over Max. When Liz had been keeping Max's secret from him.
He nodded, as though not surprised. There was a pause, and then, "Did you like [I]him[/I] better than my dad - [I]this[/I] dad I mean? Is that why you're so mad?"
"We were a different kind of friends." Liz explained gently. "How much do you know about your other father?" She was trying to keep her voice steady, reassuring, but her entire being was screaming for Alex, for what he had missed, that he was never going to get the chance to be to this child what he would have wanted to be.
"I know his name was Alex Whitman." Ben replied. "He liked computers."
[I]He liked computers.[/I]
Liz felt tears welling in her eyes. Alex had been about so much more than that. But how could Max have told Ben anything else? He had barely known Alex. Yes, he had trusted him, had almost died with him on several occasions, but they had never been close. In fact, their only real connection had been Liz...and, later, Isabel of course.
That all Ben knew about Alex was that he had liked computers. It was just completely wrong.
Dealing with Max was going to have to wait. This was too important.
"And he was really brave." Ben continued, sounding proud, oblivious to Liz's resolve. "My dad said so."
"Yes, he was." Liz agreed. She took Ben by the hand, led him out into the main dome area and back into the bedroom. They both flopped back onto the bed, lay staring up at the ceiling. "But that's not all he was. He was also a real scaredy cat."
"What do you mean?" Ben asked. "How can someone be brave and scared at the same time?"
"Well, let me tell you about the time Maria and I snuck over to Alex's house in the middle of the night..."
********************************************************
Max came back into the house after finally getting off the phone with Michael.
It had taken close to five minutes for Michael to finally stutter an explanation as to how he and Maria had gone from hating each other's guts only yesterday to engagement today.
"Michael, you do realize that you just made getting engaged sound like a death sentence." Max had managed to ask wryly, after his shock had finally worn off.
Michael had sighed heavily. "It's not that Max. It's just that I wish that we could have made this decision under different circumstances. I think she would have appreciated a more romantic venue."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, it happened like five minutes ago. We were having some sort of stupid argument, as usual. I think it was about what to order. I decided I wanted a hamburger instead of a grilled cheese. She got mad." Max had tried to suppress a snort, but had failed miserably. "Are you laughing at me Maxwell?" Michael had demanded, sounding annoyed.
"Er - no. I swear." But he had been having a hard time [I]not[/I] laughing, it was true. The complete absurdity of Michael and Maria somehow, finally, getting engaged, in the middle of a crisis, was just [I]so[/I] typical, it had made Max so suddenly giddy with happiness, all he had wanted to do was laugh.
He was home.
He was [I]really[/I] back on Earth. He had been here for a month, but everything had been so far from typical, so far from usual, he had not really [I]felt[/I] it until this moment. He had been in hiding, away from the people he really cared about, but now it was all falling back into place. Finally.
And it wasn't just Michael and Maria.
It was the feeling of peace that had settled over him when he had finally acknowledged that he was going to be unable to let Liz go, that he was going to [I]have[/I] to win her back.
Because, without her, there was no home.
"Anyway," Michael had continued. "Maria started screeching about how this was so typical of me. That I couldn't make a commitment to anything, even a grilled cheese sandwich. She was holding Lexi at the time and the baby started wailing. Isabel got really pissed off. She started yelling about how we were just both too stubborn to admit that we wanted to get married, but that neither of us was willing to do the asking. I think Dan thought we were all complete psychos. No wonder he thinks you kidnapped Liz."
"And?" Max had asked, shaking his head at Isabel's obviously correct assessment of the situation, and rolling his eyes at the Dan comment at the same time.
"She was right." Michael had admitted. "I already told you I wanted to get married. But I was sure she didn't. Turns out she was constantly babbling about [I]not[/I] wanting to get married because she didn't want me to ask unless I really wanted to."
"Michael, you do know that you and Maria are going to have to figure out how to communicate without yelling at some point in your relationship, don't you?" Max had asked, still smiling.
"Nah." Michael had replied. "It's when we [I]stop[/I] fighting that things get screwed up."
Max had genuinely laughed at that. "So, are you happy about this?"
"Yeah."
"Well then, congratulations."
"Whatever." Max had heard the pleasure in Michael's voice however. "What I really want to know, is what we're going to do about this Dan character."
Unfortunately, there was only one thing that could be done about Dan.
Liz was going to have to deal with him. There was no other choice. She had to leave.
Up until this point, she had refused to leave Ben. Even after her panic attack of a few minutes ago and her even more recent anger, she was not going to want to go.
And Max certainly did not want her to. But she [I]had[/I] to. The others would not be safe until they arrived here, until they all figured out what they were going to do about Nicholas, and it was clear Dan was not going to let them come without him, which was just unacceptable. Kyle [I]might[/I] be able to help, but he couldn't arrest Dan for being in a public truck stop or on a public highway.
As he moved towards the sound of voices at the back of the dome, the less he wanted to let her go. He couldn't imagine not being with her, even if she was still angry. Because [I]being[/I] with her, in any state, was all he wanted.
It was all he wanted [I]after[/I] making sure his son was safe. Which was why she had to go - for now. Whatever transpired after that was up to her. Dan was [I]her[/I] fiancé after all. If she wanted to come back, she was going to have to do something about him.
Max had every intention of winning Liz back, but not if it meant putting his son in danger. If she chose Dan, he was going to have to let her go, even if it was going to kill him inside.
And, so, a loophole in his resolve to win her back had been found already. He hated it, but there was no alternative.
He paused outside the door to the bedroom. He could hear Ben and Liz talking, but their voices were so low, it was difficult to make out what they were saying at first. Gradually he began to understand though. When he realized that they were talking about Alex, he smiled slightly to himself.
"...think that maybe I could learn to play the guitar? Like Alex did?" Ben was asking.
"I don't see why not." Liz replied. "I know Maria still has Alex's old one. I bet she would let you have it." Max could tell that she was trying to keep her voice steady, but that her grief was beginning to get the better of her. He frowned slightly, wondered how long it had been since she had thought about Alex like this. It was clear that she had still not gotten over his death, even after all this time. Not that he had expected her to, but, he was ashamed to say, it gave him a spark of hope.
She had told him that she had mourned [I]him[/I] too. That she had moved on. He was beginning to understand that it had been a lie. She had not moved beyond any of it. Not Alex, not him either.
And yet, the last thing he wanted their new relationship to be built on was pain and heart-ache from the past. What they had been to each other before - before he had left her - had been amazing and heart-rending and life-changing.
But it was over. It had to be. They could never go back. Not to that other lifetime and not to before Tess.
It would all shape where they ended up, but they had to start from scratch, had to make a [I]new[/I] life together. They owed it to themselves. They [I]deserved[/I] to be happy, together.
It was how he would convince her. It was how he would win her back.
But not now. Not when Ben's life was in danger.
Soon though. Very soon.
With that thought, he knocked lightly on the half-closed bedroom door. "Hey guys. I really don't want to interrupt. It sounds like you're having a really important conversation, but something's come up. Listen Liz...We have a bit of a problem."
To be continued...