Part 20
"So, that was kind of weird." Kyle finally broke the silence after they had been driving for a good half an hour. He had seemed to understand that Liz wasn't in any sort of mood for conversation, but she had felt his increasing tension as the miles crept by. She knew that he wanted to talk to her about something.
"What was?" She asked wearily, fingering the ring which she still clutched in her hand. She didn't know what to do with it, but putting it back in her pocket seemed wrong somehow. As she clenched her fist now she felt the otherworldly metal which formed it's ring scrape against the platinum of her engagement ring.
She quickly opened her purse and thrust the Antarian jewel inside.
Kyle did not reply for a long moment, long enough that Liz glanced sharply to the left. She could see that his hands were clenched tightly on the steering wheel as he stared straight ahead out the front windshield.
Liz and Kyle had grown close over the years since Max had left. After graduation he had accepted a baseball scholarship to BU and so they had hung out often during their college days. Liz had actually been the person who had introduced Kyle to his wife Sarah, who had been her room-mate during her first year at Harvard. It did not surprise Liz that Dan trusted Kyle to intervene in the situation between she and her friends. They knew each other well and Dan was also aware of the history of antipathy between Max and Kyle, although he thought it was because of the fact that Liz had broken up with Kyle to be with Max in high school.
All of this meant that Liz was more than able to judge Kyle's moods, and his present one was melancholy, to say the least. She could see the pain etched on his face, although he was trying to hide it.
And Liz suddenly understood.
"It's because Ben looks so much like her, isn't it?" Liz asked gently.
She saw him swallow, hard. "I haven't thought about her in a long time Liz. But he looks exactly like her." He glanced at her quickly, then returned his eyes to the road. "I had forgotten...I mean, I had forgotten how much..."
"How much you loved her." Liz finished. And she knew he had - loved Tess. He had even admitted it flat-out to her once. He had shown up at her door in Boston, plastered out of his mind after a fraternity event during his sophomore year and had cried in Liz's arms about her...a full two years after she had been gone from their lives. He had been wracked with guilt that he still missed her, even after they had known what she had done to Alex. But, she had been like a sister to him.
It was not easy to take back your heart after you had given it away. She knew that better than anyone.
[I]I give you my home in exchange for your heart.[/I] Max's voice filtered through her mind again. She frowned, crushed it ruthlessly. The last person she needed to be thinking about right now was Max. Kyle needed her.
Tess had been a different person when she had been with the Valentis. Even now, despising her as she did, Liz could recognize this. Max had even said as much - that Tess had tried to change for them. To Kyle, seeing Ben, seeing [I]her[/I] reflected in his features, must have been something of a shock.
"Max told me that she missed you." Liz told him softly.
Kyle jerked around to stare at her. "She...she told him that?"
Well, Max hadn't [I]exactly[/I] told Liz that, but he had implied it, she thought, grimacing slightly. But she lied anyway. "Yes."
"My middle name is Benjamin." Kyle said, after a couple more minutes of silence.
Liz blinked, whipped her head around to stare at him. "It is? I'd forgotten that."
"Yeah."
They sat in silence for the rest of the trip to the truck stop, because there was really nothing else to say.
**************************************************
Liz could see Maria sitting on the hood of Isabel and Jesse's car as she and Kyle pulled into the parking lot of the truck stop. She slid to the ground when she caught sight of the sheriff's department vehicle, stood waiting for them, shifting impatiently from foot to foot.
It was close to ten o'clock at night. Liz knew that her best friend and the others had been stranded at the truck stop in the middle of nowhere for close to twelve hours now, but Maria appeared to be still completely energized. Frowning slightly, Liz climbed out of Kyle's vehicle and right into Maria's enthusiastic embrace.
"I'll go find the others." Kyle called over the hood of the car, disappearing into the huge building that was made up of a 24 hour gas station, restaurant, and hotel.
"Lizzie! Thank God you're here." Maria practically yelped, basically ignoring Kyle altogether. He just rolled his eyes and sauntered off. "This has been hell. I told Dan that he had to let me talk to you first. That he at least owed us all that." She finished disdainfully.
Liz pulled back, sighing heavily. "I am so sorry about this Maria. How are Michael and Izzy?"
"Well, I had to make Michael take a time-out a couple of hours ago." Maria wrinkled her nose at the memory. "I can't remember exactly what Dan said that set him off, but since everything he has said over the past few hours has been somehow an insult of Max, it must have been something like that." Maria lowered her voice. "Liz, his hand was up and everything. He [I]literally[/I] almost blasted him. In public."
Liz shook her head. She wasn't at all surprised. In fact, she was almost shocked it hadn't happened earlier. "I'm going to kill him." She muttered. Her annoyance and anger at Dan had faded during the drive, but it was now coming back full-force.
Isabel, Michael and Maria had absolutely nothing to do with any of this. It was completely ridiculous that they had been pulled into it at all.
"How are the others?" Liz asked as she and Maria moved towards the door leading into the restaurant attached to the gas station.
"Isabel and the baby are asleep in the car." Maria gestured behind her. "There's still no word from Jesse, but Liz, the weird thing is..."
Liz stopped abruptly, holding her hand up. "What do you mean there's been no word from Jesse? Isn't he here?"
Maria stared at her. "What? Didn't Max tell you?"
"Tell me what?" Liz demanded, her eyes narrowing. Although she knew that she hadn't given Max much of an opportunity to tell her anything, being as she had refused to talk to him for almost the whole day, she still felt a flash of irritation.
"Jesse's disappeared." Maria replied, frowning. "Why didn't Max tell you this?" She asked suspiciously.
"Because we're not presently speaking." Liz told her, sighing. "I don't think we are anyway. I'm not speaking to [I]him[/I]." She just shook her head, suddenly realized how childish the whole thing sounded. They were smack dab in the middle of danger and Max had not given her extremely important information because she had been pouting like a baby. "Maria, I think I'm losing my mind." She dropped her face into her hands, collapsed on the curb in front of the restaurant.
Maria sat down beside her, put her arm around her. "What's wrong?"
"He's driving me insane." Liz replied in a muffled voice. "I don't know what to do." She leaned into her best friend, craving comfort. Only Maria could possibly understand her complete upheaval and confusion.
"You [I]do[/I] still love him!" Maria breathed, unable to keep a note of victory from her voice. "I so [I]knew[/I] it!"
Liz's head shot up. She glared at her friend. "Of course I do. But it can't matter Maria! I can't take another chance on him. I barely survived the last one I gave him."
Maria was quite for a long time. "Liz, no one knows better than I do that it isn't easy. It's damn hard being in love with a Czechoslovakian. But you and Max..." She shook her head. "You know I like Dan...well, not at the moment obviously..." she amended wryly, "But what you and Max had..."
"Don't you think I know that?" Liz demanded. "But I can't live in the past. He's got Ben to think about now and I have Dan."
Maria smiled slightly. "You do have Dan. I know it. That man is crazy about you Liz. He's practically been climbing the walls with worry. You know I'll support you no matter what you decide, but I have to say, it [I]can[/I] work you know. With Max, I mean."
"Maria, he left me. I can't trust him."
"Michael's left me more times than I can count Liz." Maria replied, shrugging. "If not physically, then emotionally. But look where we are today."
Liz stared at her. "Are you back together [I]again?[/I]" She demanded, felt pleasure at the thought of it. She had not fully understood why Michael and Maria had broken up in the first place, Maria had been so cryptic about it. But if any two people belonged together it was her best friend and Max's almost brother. They fought, they made up, but, in the end, they completed each other.
Maria rolled her eyes. "Jeez! Max Evans is as close-mouthed with the gossip today as he was ten years ago! We're engaged! Michael told Max when he spoke to him."
Liz felt her mouth fall open in shock. "Oh my God! Maria!" She reached out an hugged her friend tightly. "I'm so happy for you."
"Yeah, well..." When Liz pulled back again, she saw tears of joy in Maria's eyes. "You know Liz, since I hit it big, I can have any guy I want, but he's the only one [I]I've[/I] ever loved. I don't know what I would do without him."
Liz hugged her again. "You'd survive Maria, but you wouldn't really live."
Just like me, Liz thought sadly. And yet, she could not give in. She could not trust him again. It was just impossible.
"Oh Liz..." Maria squeezed her sympathetically, seeming to understand. "We [I]need[/I] to live. We [I]have[/I] to. It's the only fair thing."
Liz knew exactly what Maria was talking about. "Because of Alex."
"God, he never even got the chance to live Liz. But he hasn't left us." Maria was really crying now. "We haven't even talked about this you know. About Ben I mean." She paused, then whispered. "Did Max tell you how it happened? I just can't believe that Alex would do that...with Tess I mean."
"He was mindwarped." Liz explained sadly, her arm through her friend's. "Leanna...she didn't exist. Well, she [I]did[/I], but the girl that Alex was with was Tess."
Maria closed her eyes in horror. "I think Michael and I were both in shock when we first found out. Plus, it was so weird to be back in danger like that...I didn't even know how to deal with it. That little kid had to save us both. Neither of us knew what to do." She finally managed to croak. "We haven't told Isabel yet. I think it's best if Max does it." She smiled slightly through her still tear-stained face. "But Liz...can you believe it? It's like we still have a piece of him!"
Liz felt tears filling her own eyes. "Maria, he's so great. Ben, I mean. And Max is so good with him. You wouldn't even believe it. He's just a perfect little boy."
Maria frowned slightly. "But, if Ben is Alex's, then what about Max and the skank?" She asked. "Did they even..."
"I don't know." Liz replied evenly. "I don't care. It doesn't change anything anyway."
But Liz knew that that was not true. It was why she had not even allowed herself to contemplate the fact that if Ben was not Max's son, she could not know for sure that Max had even been with Tess.
If she found out that Max had not, in fact, slept with Tess, it would change [I]everything[/I]. She had forgiven him for it once, when they had gotten back together after Tess had taken off in the granolith, but she had never forgotten about it. It had gnawed at her constantly, had worried her when they had been together that she might not measure up in some way, not measure up to the girl that Max had been destined to be with - the girl he [I]had[/I] been with.
Of course, he had never loved Tess. Not even in that other life. And yet, he had potentially slept with her anyway, which almost made it worse. Even though Liz knew intellectually that she had pushed him towards Tess time and again, she still felt hurt over the whole mess.
She had forgiven him long ago for it, but she had never forgotten.
But if he hadn't slept with her at all...
Maria did not look convinced that it didn't change things either, but she didn't comment, linked her arm through Liz's. "I so cannot wait to meet him again. We are going to be the best aunties in the whole world." They started to walk towards the restaurant again. "Is Max going to let the Whitmans see him?"
"We didn't really talk about it." Liz grimaced. "I would guess yes, as long as he could be sure that they wouldn't try and take him away from him. Ben is the centre of his life."
"I thought you guys didn't talk much." Maria commented wickedly. "You seem to know an awful lot about what's important to him Liz."
"It's Max." Liz sighed. "I've always known."
And that was the biggest problem of all.
************************************************************
Liz's eyes met Dan's the instant she entered the greasy spoon. He was sitting in a booth, twirling a spoon between his immaculately manicured fingers. She couldn't see that detail from where she stood, but she knew those hands almost as well as she knew her own.
He was her fiancé. She had loved him for close to four years. She was angry with him, yes, and she was beginning to recognize that perhaps he was not the one for her after all, but she did care about him.
And now she needed to figure out what the hell she was going to do about him.
Kyle and Michael were sitting at the counter, sipping coffee and talking quietly. Liz frowned slightly. She was shocked that Michael hadn't bolted the instant she and Kyle had arrived. But he looked completely settled.
"What's that about?" She whispered to Maria, who still stood beside her.
"I think he thinks he has to protect you." Maria sounded amused and affectionate. "For Max."
"Oh for God's sake." Liz sighed.
"Max is his best friend Liz." Maria shrugged. "And he was never nearly as pissed at Max as both you and Isabel. He told me once he would have done exactly the same thing Max did. I didn't speak to him for a week after that, but when I remembered that he had stayed for me...well, I sort of forgave him. See, the thing is, we [I]all[/I] would have done it. If we'd thought it was our kid I mean. Hell, if we'd known Ben was Alex's, I think we all would have been on that spaceship anyway."
Liz didn't reply. She couldn't. Because she knew that Maria was right. Because [I]she[/I] had been planning to go with Max all along. Part of the reason she couldn't trust him was because he had known it and he had left without her anyway. He had said that it had been to protect her, but it had not been his choice to make, to leave her like that.
"You need to leave Maria." She said instead, forcing her random thoughts about Max aside again. "Max needs you guys. He needs help protecting Ben."
"I know." Maria shook her head. "Just give me a minute with Spaceboy and we'll be out of your hair." She started to move away, but then paused. "Are you going back to Roswell?" She asked suddenly, as though it had just occurred to her that Liz might in fact be leaving them all.
"No." Liz replied instantly. "I'll get Kyle to take me back to Atherton's as soon as I deal with Dan."
"Liz, he's not going to let you go off again." Maria told her.
"Yes, he will, or I'll end it." Liz said firmly.
"Liz..."
"Maria, I'm not trying to come up with excuses to break it off with Dan. I still fully intend to marry him." Liz continued stubbornly. "But Ben has to come first. He [I]has[/I] to."
Maria just sighed, quickly hugged her again. "Okay. But be careful. He's really hurt. If you do intend to marry him, I think you have some bridges to rebuild." When Liz gave her a strange look, she shrugged. "I told you I liked him Liz. I just know that he's not who you really want. But I told you I'd support you no matter what, and I will."
Maria went over to Michael then, spoke quietly to him. He seemed to be about to argue, but then appeared to change his mind. He muttered something to Kyle, stood up and followed Maria out the door at the far end of the restaurant.
Liz exchanged a charged glance with Kyle, who raised an eyebrow at her as she passed him. "I'm staying right here Liz." He muttered.
"Kyle, it's Dan. He's not going to hurt me. You can go wait outside." Liz replied, exasperated. Kyle had already agreed that he would take her back to Atherton's after her conversation with Dan, but Liz certainly didn't need him hovering over her like some sort of protective older brother.
"Maybe not, but he was plenty steamed when I saw him earlier." Kyle shrugged. "I'm not taking any chances."
"Fine." Liz swallowed, squared her shoulders and marched towards her fiancé, who had set the spoon down with a click and was staring at her, his expression unreadable, his green eyes chilly.
She slid into the booth across from him, narrowed her eyes. "I hope you're happy with yourself." She said quietly. "I told you I was perfectly safe. And now I'm sitting here with you when I should be with a very sick little boy."
She chose not to reflect on the fact that she didn't even feel guilty lying to him anymore. It was not a good sign she knew. Their relationship was teetering on very shaky ground at the moment. And yet, now that she sat across from him, only moments after she had told Maria that she still intended to marry him, she couldn't bring herself to care.
Because all she knew was that the last place on the face of the planet she wanted to be was in this booth. And that was not how one was supposed to feel about one's fiancé, three days before the wedding, even if one was as furious as all get out at said fiancé.
She had to break up with him. It was as simple as that.
To be continued...
"So, that was kind of weird." Kyle finally broke the silence after they had been driving for a good half an hour. He had seemed to understand that Liz wasn't in any sort of mood for conversation, but she had felt his increasing tension as the miles crept by. She knew that he wanted to talk to her about something.
"What was?" She asked wearily, fingering the ring which she still clutched in her hand. She didn't know what to do with it, but putting it back in her pocket seemed wrong somehow. As she clenched her fist now she felt the otherworldly metal which formed it's ring scrape against the platinum of her engagement ring.
She quickly opened her purse and thrust the Antarian jewel inside.
Kyle did not reply for a long moment, long enough that Liz glanced sharply to the left. She could see that his hands were clenched tightly on the steering wheel as he stared straight ahead out the front windshield.
Liz and Kyle had grown close over the years since Max had left. After graduation he had accepted a baseball scholarship to BU and so they had hung out often during their college days. Liz had actually been the person who had introduced Kyle to his wife Sarah, who had been her room-mate during her first year at Harvard. It did not surprise Liz that Dan trusted Kyle to intervene in the situation between she and her friends. They knew each other well and Dan was also aware of the history of antipathy between Max and Kyle, although he thought it was because of the fact that Liz had broken up with Kyle to be with Max in high school.
All of this meant that Liz was more than able to judge Kyle's moods, and his present one was melancholy, to say the least. She could see the pain etched on his face, although he was trying to hide it.
And Liz suddenly understood.
"It's because Ben looks so much like her, isn't it?" Liz asked gently.
She saw him swallow, hard. "I haven't thought about her in a long time Liz. But he looks exactly like her." He glanced at her quickly, then returned his eyes to the road. "I had forgotten...I mean, I had forgotten how much..."
"How much you loved her." Liz finished. And she knew he had - loved Tess. He had even admitted it flat-out to her once. He had shown up at her door in Boston, plastered out of his mind after a fraternity event during his sophomore year and had cried in Liz's arms about her...a full two years after she had been gone from their lives. He had been wracked with guilt that he still missed her, even after they had known what she had done to Alex. But, she had been like a sister to him.
It was not easy to take back your heart after you had given it away. She knew that better than anyone.
[I]I give you my home in exchange for your heart.[/I] Max's voice filtered through her mind again. She frowned, crushed it ruthlessly. The last person she needed to be thinking about right now was Max. Kyle needed her.
Tess had been a different person when she had been with the Valentis. Even now, despising her as she did, Liz could recognize this. Max had even said as much - that Tess had tried to change for them. To Kyle, seeing Ben, seeing [I]her[/I] reflected in his features, must have been something of a shock.
"Max told me that she missed you." Liz told him softly.
Kyle jerked around to stare at her. "She...she told him that?"
Well, Max hadn't [I]exactly[/I] told Liz that, but he had implied it, she thought, grimacing slightly. But she lied anyway. "Yes."
"My middle name is Benjamin." Kyle said, after a couple more minutes of silence.
Liz blinked, whipped her head around to stare at him. "It is? I'd forgotten that."
"Yeah."
They sat in silence for the rest of the trip to the truck stop, because there was really nothing else to say.
**************************************************
Liz could see Maria sitting on the hood of Isabel and Jesse's car as she and Kyle pulled into the parking lot of the truck stop. She slid to the ground when she caught sight of the sheriff's department vehicle, stood waiting for them, shifting impatiently from foot to foot.
It was close to ten o'clock at night. Liz knew that her best friend and the others had been stranded at the truck stop in the middle of nowhere for close to twelve hours now, but Maria appeared to be still completely energized. Frowning slightly, Liz climbed out of Kyle's vehicle and right into Maria's enthusiastic embrace.
"I'll go find the others." Kyle called over the hood of the car, disappearing into the huge building that was made up of a 24 hour gas station, restaurant, and hotel.
"Lizzie! Thank God you're here." Maria practically yelped, basically ignoring Kyle altogether. He just rolled his eyes and sauntered off. "This has been hell. I told Dan that he had to let me talk to you first. That he at least owed us all that." She finished disdainfully.
Liz pulled back, sighing heavily. "I am so sorry about this Maria. How are Michael and Izzy?"
"Well, I had to make Michael take a time-out a couple of hours ago." Maria wrinkled her nose at the memory. "I can't remember exactly what Dan said that set him off, but since everything he has said over the past few hours has been somehow an insult of Max, it must have been something like that." Maria lowered her voice. "Liz, his hand was up and everything. He [I]literally[/I] almost blasted him. In public."
Liz shook her head. She wasn't at all surprised. In fact, she was almost shocked it hadn't happened earlier. "I'm going to kill him." She muttered. Her annoyance and anger at Dan had faded during the drive, but it was now coming back full-force.
Isabel, Michael and Maria had absolutely nothing to do with any of this. It was completely ridiculous that they had been pulled into it at all.
"How are the others?" Liz asked as she and Maria moved towards the door leading into the restaurant attached to the gas station.
"Isabel and the baby are asleep in the car." Maria gestured behind her. "There's still no word from Jesse, but Liz, the weird thing is..."
Liz stopped abruptly, holding her hand up. "What do you mean there's been no word from Jesse? Isn't he here?"
Maria stared at her. "What? Didn't Max tell you?"
"Tell me what?" Liz demanded, her eyes narrowing. Although she knew that she hadn't given Max much of an opportunity to tell her anything, being as she had refused to talk to him for almost the whole day, she still felt a flash of irritation.
"Jesse's disappeared." Maria replied, frowning. "Why didn't Max tell you this?" She asked suspiciously.
"Because we're not presently speaking." Liz told her, sighing. "I don't think we are anyway. I'm not speaking to [I]him[/I]." She just shook her head, suddenly realized how childish the whole thing sounded. They were smack dab in the middle of danger and Max had not given her extremely important information because she had been pouting like a baby. "Maria, I think I'm losing my mind." She dropped her face into her hands, collapsed on the curb in front of the restaurant.
Maria sat down beside her, put her arm around her. "What's wrong?"
"He's driving me insane." Liz replied in a muffled voice. "I don't know what to do." She leaned into her best friend, craving comfort. Only Maria could possibly understand her complete upheaval and confusion.
"You [I]do[/I] still love him!" Maria breathed, unable to keep a note of victory from her voice. "I so [I]knew[/I] it!"
Liz's head shot up. She glared at her friend. "Of course I do. But it can't matter Maria! I can't take another chance on him. I barely survived the last one I gave him."
Maria was quite for a long time. "Liz, no one knows better than I do that it isn't easy. It's damn hard being in love with a Czechoslovakian. But you and Max..." She shook her head. "You know I like Dan...well, not at the moment obviously..." she amended wryly, "But what you and Max had..."
"Don't you think I know that?" Liz demanded. "But I can't live in the past. He's got Ben to think about now and I have Dan."
Maria smiled slightly. "You do have Dan. I know it. That man is crazy about you Liz. He's practically been climbing the walls with worry. You know I'll support you no matter what you decide, but I have to say, it [I]can[/I] work you know. With Max, I mean."
"Maria, he left me. I can't trust him."
"Michael's left me more times than I can count Liz." Maria replied, shrugging. "If not physically, then emotionally. But look where we are today."
Liz stared at her. "Are you back together [I]again?[/I]" She demanded, felt pleasure at the thought of it. She had not fully understood why Michael and Maria had broken up in the first place, Maria had been so cryptic about it. But if any two people belonged together it was her best friend and Max's almost brother. They fought, they made up, but, in the end, they completed each other.
Maria rolled her eyes. "Jeez! Max Evans is as close-mouthed with the gossip today as he was ten years ago! We're engaged! Michael told Max when he spoke to him."
Liz felt her mouth fall open in shock. "Oh my God! Maria!" She reached out an hugged her friend tightly. "I'm so happy for you."
"Yeah, well..." When Liz pulled back again, she saw tears of joy in Maria's eyes. "You know Liz, since I hit it big, I can have any guy I want, but he's the only one [I]I've[/I] ever loved. I don't know what I would do without him."
Liz hugged her again. "You'd survive Maria, but you wouldn't really live."
Just like me, Liz thought sadly. And yet, she could not give in. She could not trust him again. It was just impossible.
"Oh Liz..." Maria squeezed her sympathetically, seeming to understand. "We [I]need[/I] to live. We [I]have[/I] to. It's the only fair thing."
Liz knew exactly what Maria was talking about. "Because of Alex."
"God, he never even got the chance to live Liz. But he hasn't left us." Maria was really crying now. "We haven't even talked about this you know. About Ben I mean." She paused, then whispered. "Did Max tell you how it happened? I just can't believe that Alex would do that...with Tess I mean."
"He was mindwarped." Liz explained sadly, her arm through her friend's. "Leanna...she didn't exist. Well, she [I]did[/I], but the girl that Alex was with was Tess."
Maria closed her eyes in horror. "I think Michael and I were both in shock when we first found out. Plus, it was so weird to be back in danger like that...I didn't even know how to deal with it. That little kid had to save us both. Neither of us knew what to do." She finally managed to croak. "We haven't told Isabel yet. I think it's best if Max does it." She smiled slightly through her still tear-stained face. "But Liz...can you believe it? It's like we still have a piece of him!"
Liz felt tears filling her own eyes. "Maria, he's so great. Ben, I mean. And Max is so good with him. You wouldn't even believe it. He's just a perfect little boy."
Maria frowned slightly. "But, if Ben is Alex's, then what about Max and the skank?" She asked. "Did they even..."
"I don't know." Liz replied evenly. "I don't care. It doesn't change anything anyway."
But Liz knew that that was not true. It was why she had not even allowed herself to contemplate the fact that if Ben was not Max's son, she could not know for sure that Max had even been with Tess.
If she found out that Max had not, in fact, slept with Tess, it would change [I]everything[/I]. She had forgiven him for it once, when they had gotten back together after Tess had taken off in the granolith, but she had never forgotten about it. It had gnawed at her constantly, had worried her when they had been together that she might not measure up in some way, not measure up to the girl that Max had been destined to be with - the girl he [I]had[/I] been with.
Of course, he had never loved Tess. Not even in that other life. And yet, he had potentially slept with her anyway, which almost made it worse. Even though Liz knew intellectually that she had pushed him towards Tess time and again, she still felt hurt over the whole mess.
She had forgiven him long ago for it, but she had never forgotten.
But if he hadn't slept with her at all...
Maria did not look convinced that it didn't change things either, but she didn't comment, linked her arm through Liz's. "I so cannot wait to meet him again. We are going to be the best aunties in the whole world." They started to walk towards the restaurant again. "Is Max going to let the Whitmans see him?"
"We didn't really talk about it." Liz grimaced. "I would guess yes, as long as he could be sure that they wouldn't try and take him away from him. Ben is the centre of his life."
"I thought you guys didn't talk much." Maria commented wickedly. "You seem to know an awful lot about what's important to him Liz."
"It's Max." Liz sighed. "I've always known."
And that was the biggest problem of all.
************************************************************
Liz's eyes met Dan's the instant she entered the greasy spoon. He was sitting in a booth, twirling a spoon between his immaculately manicured fingers. She couldn't see that detail from where she stood, but she knew those hands almost as well as she knew her own.
He was her fiancé. She had loved him for close to four years. She was angry with him, yes, and she was beginning to recognize that perhaps he was not the one for her after all, but she did care about him.
And now she needed to figure out what the hell she was going to do about him.
Kyle and Michael were sitting at the counter, sipping coffee and talking quietly. Liz frowned slightly. She was shocked that Michael hadn't bolted the instant she and Kyle had arrived. But he looked completely settled.
"What's that about?" She whispered to Maria, who still stood beside her.
"I think he thinks he has to protect you." Maria sounded amused and affectionate. "For Max."
"Oh for God's sake." Liz sighed.
"Max is his best friend Liz." Maria shrugged. "And he was never nearly as pissed at Max as both you and Isabel. He told me once he would have done exactly the same thing Max did. I didn't speak to him for a week after that, but when I remembered that he had stayed for me...well, I sort of forgave him. See, the thing is, we [I]all[/I] would have done it. If we'd thought it was our kid I mean. Hell, if we'd known Ben was Alex's, I think we all would have been on that spaceship anyway."
Liz didn't reply. She couldn't. Because she knew that Maria was right. Because [I]she[/I] had been planning to go with Max all along. Part of the reason she couldn't trust him was because he had known it and he had left without her anyway. He had said that it had been to protect her, but it had not been his choice to make, to leave her like that.
"You need to leave Maria." She said instead, forcing her random thoughts about Max aside again. "Max needs you guys. He needs help protecting Ben."
"I know." Maria shook her head. "Just give me a minute with Spaceboy and we'll be out of your hair." She started to move away, but then paused. "Are you going back to Roswell?" She asked suddenly, as though it had just occurred to her that Liz might in fact be leaving them all.
"No." Liz replied instantly. "I'll get Kyle to take me back to Atherton's as soon as I deal with Dan."
"Liz, he's not going to let you go off again." Maria told her.
"Yes, he will, or I'll end it." Liz said firmly.
"Liz..."
"Maria, I'm not trying to come up with excuses to break it off with Dan. I still fully intend to marry him." Liz continued stubbornly. "But Ben has to come first. He [I]has[/I] to."
Maria just sighed, quickly hugged her again. "Okay. But be careful. He's really hurt. If you do intend to marry him, I think you have some bridges to rebuild." When Liz gave her a strange look, she shrugged. "I told you I liked him Liz. I just know that he's not who you really want. But I told you I'd support you no matter what, and I will."
Maria went over to Michael then, spoke quietly to him. He seemed to be about to argue, but then appeared to change his mind. He muttered something to Kyle, stood up and followed Maria out the door at the far end of the restaurant.
Liz exchanged a charged glance with Kyle, who raised an eyebrow at her as she passed him. "I'm staying right here Liz." He muttered.
"Kyle, it's Dan. He's not going to hurt me. You can go wait outside." Liz replied, exasperated. Kyle had already agreed that he would take her back to Atherton's after her conversation with Dan, but Liz certainly didn't need him hovering over her like some sort of protective older brother.
"Maybe not, but he was plenty steamed when I saw him earlier." Kyle shrugged. "I'm not taking any chances."
"Fine." Liz swallowed, squared her shoulders and marched towards her fiancé, who had set the spoon down with a click and was staring at her, his expression unreadable, his green eyes chilly.
She slid into the booth across from him, narrowed her eyes. "I hope you're happy with yourself." She said quietly. "I told you I was perfectly safe. And now I'm sitting here with you when I should be with a very sick little boy."
She chose not to reflect on the fact that she didn't even feel guilty lying to him anymore. It was not a good sign she knew. Their relationship was teetering on very shaky ground at the moment. And yet, now that she sat across from him, only moments after she had told Maria that she still intended to marry him, she couldn't bring herself to care.
Because all she knew was that the last place on the face of the planet she wanted to be was in this booth. And that was not how one was supposed to feel about one's fiancé, three days before the wedding, even if one was as furious as all get out at said fiancé.
She had to break up with him. It was as simple as that.
To be continued...