Part 39
"Are you sure that he's not going to break out of there?" Kyle asked suspiciously as he walked Max and Michael back into the house he shared with his wife, Sarah. He had agreed to take the first watch on Jesse after they had locked him up in a shed in Kyle's backyard. Jesse had remained resigned, telling Max that he had absolutely no intention of running from them.
They were going to have to decide what to do with him at some point because he would not leave his wife or his daughter he had told them flatly, making Max just shake his head. It was apparently too much to ask for Nicholas to just try something so that they could kill him in peace. Michael had looked equally as irritated.
But he had promised himself that Isabel was going to be the one to decide her traitorous husband's fate. He would stick to that as long as Jesse remained cooperative.
Max sighed now. "I don't know Kyle. But it's all I can think of for now. He seems to really want to try and work things out with Isabel. I'm hoping he's not just messing with us about that. We thought about it on the way back. It would be just too complicated to actually involve the legal system, which we would have to if you arrested him." He shrugged. "And there's no guarantee he wouldn't break out of there anyway." He ran a hand through his hair wearily, still trying to figure out how they could possibly keep Isabel's husband secure until they could figure out exactly how trustworthy he was.
Kyle just shook his head. "Jeez Evans. Even if he does want to work things out with Isabel, I can't believe you're just going to let him." He glanced at Michael for support. "I mean, he tortured you. She's your sister. How can you let her stay married to a monster like that?"
Max closed his eyes. "I know Kyle, but we can't just kill him. Whatever else he might be, he is Lexi's father."
"Okay, but let me be the first to say I think this is a really bad idea." Kyle glanced at Michael. "I can't believe you're going along with this."
Michael looked away, an unreadable expression on his face. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "I'm not the leader." Max frowned at him, opened his mouth to say that he wasn't anymore either, but Michael met his eyes. "Puh-lease. You know we all still listen to you, abdication or not." He rolled his eyes. "Fine Maxwell. Don't get your pants in a twist. I agree with him Kyle. We're just not killers."
"So, I guess we're off to see my parents," Max continued, nodding at Michael in satisfaction.
"And Liz?" Kyle grinned at him slyly, allowing the topic to change if it meant that he was going to be allowed to needle Max. Some things would never change.
"I don't know. I'm guessing that she went to see Dan." Max refused to discuss the state of his relationship with Liz with Kyle Valenti. He trusted him, considered him a friend, but he had not consumed copious - or even small - amounts of alcohol after all. Kyle did not need to know.
"Kyle, is that you?" A woman's voice drifted down the stairs.
Kyle glanced at the clock, grimaced. "She's going to wonder why I'm home. I'm supposed to work today." He stared out the window at the shed, sitting innocuously at the back of the yard. "I also haven't figured out what to tell her to keep her out of the shed..." He cut himself off abruptly as a slender blonde came bouncing into the kitchen.
"What are you doing home honey?" She stared curiously at Max and Michael. "Hi Michael.Hi! I'm Sarah!" She continued, holding her hand out to Max.
"I'm Max," he replied.
"Not [i] the[/i] Max. Not Max Evans," Sarah's mouth fell open. A mischievous expression crossed her delicately- featured face. "And suddenly it all makes sense. Why Kyle's been so uptight the last few days I mean." She grinned lovingly at her husband. "It's your nemesis honey!"
Kyle looked uncomfortable, his face reddening. Max and Michael just exchanged a glance, Michael struggling to contain a grin at Kyle's mortification. "Sarah..."
"Well, I have news boys," Sarah continued, smiling at Max. "And from what I've heard about you Mr. Evans, I think you're going to like it." Kyle just tightened his jaw as though he knew he had absolutely no control over his wife and was just going to have to accept whatever it was she was going to say.
"Know what?" Max smiled back. He couldn't help it. Her grin lit up her face in a way that was infectious. He could see very easily what it was about Sarah that appealed to Kyle. He felt like he had known her for years already.
"Liz's mom just called me," Sarah continued. "The wedding's off. Well, sort of." She glanced at Michael, but then looked away again. Max saw suspicion on Michael's face, but he didn't pursue that comment. He was obviously used to Sarah's ability to speak cryptically. "Kyle's told me all about you and Liz. From before I mean. If you're back in town..."
And suddenly what she had just said penetrated. [i] The wedding's off.[/i] Liz had really done it. She wasn't going to marry Dan.
Kyle was staring at him. "Wow. You really do know how to smile." He snorted. "Amazing."
"Only when it has anything to do with Liz Parker," Michael confided. "Ow," he continued mildly when Max punched him lightly on the shoulder.
Max rolled his eyes. "We need to go Michael," he said, already hurrying towards the front door. "I need to see Liz. It was nice to meet you Sarah," he called back over his shoulder.
Liz. She was finally free. And now he could tell her exactly what he had wanted to tell her since he had first laid eyes on her again a few days before. He had told her truth after truth over the past week, but it was the first time that they would truly be able to talk without the shadow of guilt about her fiancé dangling over them.
Kyle was right. He was grinning like a fool, but he couldn't help himself. He didn't expect that everything was going to be perfect right away, simply because Dan was gone, but at least they could try now. They could finally really try.
But it wasn't meant to be. Not right away anyway. Because when Max opened the door to leave, standing on the front porch, her hand raised to ring the bell was Isabel. Max's eyes met his sister's questioningly, relief flooding him that she seemed in complete control of her faculties again.
In fact, she seemed a little [i] too[/i] calm
"What are you doing here Iz?" He could feel Michael tensing behind him. He realized why a moment later.
Looking past his sister, his eyes met his father's for the first time in eight years. He gasped in surprise. "Max?" Phillip Evans's voice broke. "I can't believe it's really you son."
Max forced himself to breathe. "Hi Dad." He smiled at his mother, who was already sobbing openly. "Hi Mom."
The next thing he knew he was hugging his mother, his father's arms around them both. And for the next several minutes, all else flew out of his mind.
One more step climbed. He was closer to truly being [i] home[/i] then he ever had been.
And yet, he knew that something still wasn't right. There was one person he could not forget, even in his joy at being reunited with the people who had raised him, the kind family that had made him who he was, all strife and grief they had caused each other before he had left long forgotten.
Liz.
She should be here, he thought regretfully. He knew how happy she would be for him - for them all.
Nothing would ever be complete without her.
He had argued with himself that he could make a life for Ben and himself without her, had told himself that he would be able to accept it if she chose Dan. But he understood now that he had been lying to himself. None of it would mean anything without her.
He had to tell her. And until he did, [i] home[/i] would remain just slightly beyond his reach.
*********************************************
"I want to see my husband." Isabel's tone brooked no argument. Max could see clearly that she expected one. She stared both he and Michael down, daring them to naysay her.
"Okay," Max replied simply. "But we need to talk first." He was seated on the couch in Kyle and Sarah's living room, Isabel seated across from him, rigid in an armchair. Michael stood stiffly near the doorway to the kitchen to make sure that Sarah wasn't listening, although she had readily agreed to leave the Evans family in peace when she had understood that Max`s parents hadn't seen him in years. "Are you okay Isabel? You were totally out of it. Are you sure you're ready for this?" Max's mother was seated beside him on the couch, seemingly unable to let go of his hand, while his father stood behind Isabel, his hand on her shoulder in support.
"I'll never be ready," Isabel said, her voice weakening slightly. She had obviously been surprised by Max`s quick capitulation. "But it needs to be now. I have to break it off now, before he can mess with my head again." She lifted her chin, looked away. "I know it's what you all want."
Max and Michael exchanged glances. The way Isabel had said that..."Isabel, it has to be what you want," Max told her quietly.
"Needless to say Isabel, we're not thrilled by this, but we'll go with what you decide." Michael agreed. "We won't kill him - we've already decided that. Not unless he makes us."
Max recognized the shock on his sister's face. "Who are you guys?" She demanded after a moment of silence. "My brothers would [i] never[/i] let me stay married to Nicholas of all people!" She sounded hurt.
And suddenly Max understood. Despite all her grand posturing of moments before, she [i] wanted[/i] them to tell her what to do - wanted them to make the decision for her - so that she wouldn't have to do it.
It told him more about what she wanted to do than anything else ever could have.
"You want to stay married to him - don't you?" He asked gently, grief for his sister's guilt making is heart almost break. "Oh Iz."
Isabel started, stared straight at him. As he watched, her face crumbled with despair. She lifted her hands, buried her face. She began to cry, great sobs of confusion wracking her slender frame. Max's mother jumped to her feet, went to perch on the arm of the chair in which Isabel sat, her arm going around her daughter in comfort.
"Max, does she really need to talk about this now?" Diane asked tearfully. "She needs to get away for a while - needs time to think."
Max shrugged. "I don't disagree Mom, but I think Izzy's already made her decision," he continued grimly. "Haven't you Isabel?"
Isabel dropped her hands, sniffled. "Do you know why I went into that weird catatonia after I found out?" She asked abruptly, her voice cracking slightly. She cleared it, continued. "Since you've guessed already Max, do you know why I did that?"
Max sighed. "I don't Iz."
"I was trying to figure out how I couldn't have known. I went through absolutely every memory I have of my husband - of Jesse Ramirez - trying to remember even one incident that I ignored, or that I should have been able to guess from. I couldn't. Not during the entire eight years I've known him." She shook her dark head sadly. "I really wanted to find one Max. I wanted a reason to run away from him - wanted a reason to leave him, even to kill him…" Max saw his mother flinch at that one. "But there was nothing."
"Isabel, if you need reasons, I can tell you one," Michael spoke up quietly. "What about [i] before[/i] he was Jesse. What about when he was the troll? He [i] tortured[/i] us Isabel! All of us! How's that for a reason?" Max could hear the anger in Michael's voice, understood how his best friend felt.
He did not want his sister to stay with Jesse. He wanted her to be in a relationship that was safe and secure and that wasn't built on lies.
Isabel met his eyes. "Max, that's what I have." He blinked. Had he said that out loud? But he knew he hadn't. Isabel was anticipating his thoughts before he even had them it seemed. "He is not the same. Not anymore. He is not Nicholas. He is Jesse Ramirez, my husband. More than anything I want to be able to walk away from him, but I just can't. And that's why I escaped from this world for a while. I needed to come to terms with the fact that I didn't care who he was. He was my husband and I loved him. He was [i] Nicholas[/i] and I [i] still[/i] loved him. I know it's wrong, and yet it's still the most right thing I have ever felt. I cannot walk away from him - when I knew it, I came back."
"Why not?" Michael flared. "Why the hell not? Just do it Isabel! If he's the great guy now that you seem to think, he'll let you. He'll leave you alone."
"She loves him." Max closed his eyes. "And he loves her." He looked at Michael. "Michael, we know it. We [i] believed[/i] him in the car. You can't deny it. I know you believed him." He looked down again. "And, in the end, he's really not so different from me. In some ways, we're both monsters."
"Max!" His mother exclaimed. "Don't say things like that!"
"Maxwell, comparing yourself to Nicholas is like comparing apples and oranges. You're nothing like him!" Michael snapped. "Stop being ridiculous. If the troll was right about one thing, he was right that your guilt complex is going to do nothing but get you into trouble."
Max raised his eyebrows wryly. "I appreciate the support you guys, but you don't really know me - not completely. Some of the stuff I've done…it's pretty horrible. You don't need to know about all of it, but I like to think that for most of it I had some pretty valid reasons. I think that Nicholas truly believed that a lot of what he did to us was justified. He [i] loved[/i] Khivar - thought he was the rightful king. When I think about what I would do to protect the people I love - what I [i] have[/i] done, he really doesn't seem quite as horrible. And he knows what Khivar was now. He won't make the same mistakes again." He looked directly at Isabel. "We can't ever truly know another person Isabel, but if we trust that we know them well enough, sometimes that's enough." He reached across and took her hand. "I trust you to make the right decision Izzy. If you accept Jesse, then I do too."
Isabel's eyes filled with tears again. She smiled though. "In some ways, I wish you'd pull that king crap and tell me to stay away from him, but here…" She placed a hand firmly over her heart, "I know that he's changed. I know that we can trust him."
"Then it's enough," Max replied. "I'm not saying that I won't be keeping a very close eye on your husband for a very long time…"
"Me too," Michael growled.
"But I am willing to let him earn [i] my[/i] trust as he regains yours." Max looked warningly at Michael. Michael scowled back at him. Max could almost hear him mentally complaining [i] You said you weren't the king anymore[/i].
"Do you want to see him now?" Max asked, getting to his feet. "If so, I hope you don't mind taking Michael with you. Because, for now, I think it's a good idea."
"Where are you going?" Isabel asked, clearly understanding that the only reason that he wasn't accompanying her was that he had something else on his mind.
"I have to go see Liz," Max admitted. "Because I'm beginning to realize that I haven't been fair to her. She's told me she forgives me, that she's willing to give me another chance, but I think I finally understand that I haven't been ready to forgive myself. For all I've put her through…" He sighed heavily. "I don't deserve her, I know it. But she thinks I do. And second guessing her all the time isn't fair. For her, I'm willing to forgive anyone - even myself."
Isabel smiled at him. "Good luck then." She stood, hugged him tightly. "Max, I'm glad you're home. I haven't told you so yet, but I am so happy. I have my brother back." She reached out, wrapped a hand around Michael's neck, pulling him against her as well. "Both of my brothers. My life would not be complete without you guys. You are the only two who really understand me. Because, in the end, we're the same and we need each other." She placed a gentle kiss on first Max's cheek and then Michael's. "Thank you for trusting me. I swear he won't disappoint you."
Max met Michael's gaze across their sister. His best friend still looked somewhat unconvinced. Max could not deny that was still a little wary too, but they would be careful. They would not be caught off guard again.
"If he has any intention of being for you what I intend to be for Liz, then I don't think we're going to have a problem," Max grinned. "And on that note, I'm out of here." He hugged his mother and father. "I'll see you guys at home later. Thank you for allowing it to still be my home."
"You're our son Max," his father replied emotionally. "You always will be and you will always be welcome in our house. You and [i] your[/i] son."
Max was whistling to himself as he climbed into the Cherokee and drove towards the centre of town. He knew that he really should not be in such a good mood - he still didn't know if Liz was going to forgive him for his latest freak-out. He understood that he should be more worried about Jesse and Isabel.
And, yet, he still had a gut instinct that their troubled times were over. For the first time in his entire life, optimism was practically making him giddy.
He pulled up in front of the Crashdown several minutes later, virtually leapt from the car and hurried towards the familiar doors - the doors that he had [i] dreamt[/i] of going through to tell Liz how much he loved her for so long, it was pretty much a permanent part of his imagination.
He pushed them open, his heart pounding in anticipation. The bell over the door tinkled it's familiar tone, bringing a half-smile to his face. He stepped into the empty restaurant, his breath catching.
Because suddenly, there she was. She was just coming through the swinging door from the back, throwing a bag over her shoulder, obviously on her way out. She came to abrupt halt at the sight of him.
They stared at each other for what felt like forever before she finally broke the silence.
"Hi." Her voice was soft, barely audible.
"Hi," he replied tentatively, unsure how she was going to greet him.
"You came back." A small half-smile made his heart thunder.
"I had to see you."
She tilted her dark head to the side, continued to stare at him, her large brown eyes shining. "Why?"
"You're not engaged anymore."
Liz frowned. "Is that all?"
"Because I love you." He took a careful step towards her. "I know that you've been waiting. I'm sorry."
She didn't reply immediately, just watched him. "Am I going to have to wait much longer Max?"
"You are never going to have to wait for me again."
It felt as though they were both holding their breath, unsure how to proceed. "We still need to talk," Liz told him quietly.
"I know."
"Things can't go back to the way they were. Not ever."
"I know that too. I want to start over with you Liz. I want you to fall all over again."
She smiled slightly again. "I don't think that's going to be hard." There was a pause. "I was on my way to see Ben."
"Good idea. We should check on him." Max felt a twinge of guilt that Ben had actually not been on his mind at all for the past few minutes. His son was [i] always[/i] on his mind, always came first. For just one instant, he had wanted it to be Liz who did.
But she would not allow it.
Liz brushed past him, headed for the door. He felt his heart fall slightly. She was pushing her way through, the bell already ringing, when she suddenly whirled and threw her arms around his neck. He stumbled backwards slightly, barely managed to grab her by the waist before her lips were on his.
"Liz?" He exclaimed, pushing her hair away from her face, unable to pull his own lips away from hers, despite the fact that he was so shocked, it took him a moment to start responding.
He had been waiting for this for so long, he had almost forgotten how to do it. But their lips were made for each other after all. It didn't take him long.
She wound her hands through his hair, pulled back slightly. They were both gasping for air. She smiled at him, a sexy little grin that curled his toes. "I've fallen. It's too late."
"But we need to talk," Max told her, leaning his forehead against hers, trying desperately to get a hold of himself. It was hard, considering the fact that all he wanted to do was to drag her down onto the floor of the Crashdown and make love to her.
He was a virgin, yes, but this was Liz and he didn't think he was going to have much trouble figuring out what to do.
"We will." She continued to smile. "Just not now."
And with that, she kissed him again.
"Are you sure that he's not going to break out of there?" Kyle asked suspiciously as he walked Max and Michael back into the house he shared with his wife, Sarah. He had agreed to take the first watch on Jesse after they had locked him up in a shed in Kyle's backyard. Jesse had remained resigned, telling Max that he had absolutely no intention of running from them.
They were going to have to decide what to do with him at some point because he would not leave his wife or his daughter he had told them flatly, making Max just shake his head. It was apparently too much to ask for Nicholas to just try something so that they could kill him in peace. Michael had looked equally as irritated.
But he had promised himself that Isabel was going to be the one to decide her traitorous husband's fate. He would stick to that as long as Jesse remained cooperative.
Max sighed now. "I don't know Kyle. But it's all I can think of for now. He seems to really want to try and work things out with Isabel. I'm hoping he's not just messing with us about that. We thought about it on the way back. It would be just too complicated to actually involve the legal system, which we would have to if you arrested him." He shrugged. "And there's no guarantee he wouldn't break out of there anyway." He ran a hand through his hair wearily, still trying to figure out how they could possibly keep Isabel's husband secure until they could figure out exactly how trustworthy he was.
Kyle just shook his head. "Jeez Evans. Even if he does want to work things out with Isabel, I can't believe you're just going to let him." He glanced at Michael for support. "I mean, he tortured you. She's your sister. How can you let her stay married to a monster like that?"
Max closed his eyes. "I know Kyle, but we can't just kill him. Whatever else he might be, he is Lexi's father."
"Okay, but let me be the first to say I think this is a really bad idea." Kyle glanced at Michael. "I can't believe you're going along with this."
Michael looked away, an unreadable expression on his face. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "I'm not the leader." Max frowned at him, opened his mouth to say that he wasn't anymore either, but Michael met his eyes. "Puh-lease. You know we all still listen to you, abdication or not." He rolled his eyes. "Fine Maxwell. Don't get your pants in a twist. I agree with him Kyle. We're just not killers."
"So, I guess we're off to see my parents," Max continued, nodding at Michael in satisfaction.
"And Liz?" Kyle grinned at him slyly, allowing the topic to change if it meant that he was going to be allowed to needle Max. Some things would never change.
"I don't know. I'm guessing that she went to see Dan." Max refused to discuss the state of his relationship with Liz with Kyle Valenti. He trusted him, considered him a friend, but he had not consumed copious - or even small - amounts of alcohol after all. Kyle did not need to know.
"Kyle, is that you?" A woman's voice drifted down the stairs.
Kyle glanced at the clock, grimaced. "She's going to wonder why I'm home. I'm supposed to work today." He stared out the window at the shed, sitting innocuously at the back of the yard. "I also haven't figured out what to tell her to keep her out of the shed..." He cut himself off abruptly as a slender blonde came bouncing into the kitchen.
"What are you doing home honey?" She stared curiously at Max and Michael. "Hi Michael.Hi! I'm Sarah!" She continued, holding her hand out to Max.
"I'm Max," he replied.
"Not [i] the[/i] Max. Not Max Evans," Sarah's mouth fell open. A mischievous expression crossed her delicately- featured face. "And suddenly it all makes sense. Why Kyle's been so uptight the last few days I mean." She grinned lovingly at her husband. "It's your nemesis honey!"
Kyle looked uncomfortable, his face reddening. Max and Michael just exchanged a glance, Michael struggling to contain a grin at Kyle's mortification. "Sarah..."
"Well, I have news boys," Sarah continued, smiling at Max. "And from what I've heard about you Mr. Evans, I think you're going to like it." Kyle just tightened his jaw as though he knew he had absolutely no control over his wife and was just going to have to accept whatever it was she was going to say.
"Know what?" Max smiled back. He couldn't help it. Her grin lit up her face in a way that was infectious. He could see very easily what it was about Sarah that appealed to Kyle. He felt like he had known her for years already.
"Liz's mom just called me," Sarah continued. "The wedding's off. Well, sort of." She glanced at Michael, but then looked away again. Max saw suspicion on Michael's face, but he didn't pursue that comment. He was obviously used to Sarah's ability to speak cryptically. "Kyle's told me all about you and Liz. From before I mean. If you're back in town..."
And suddenly what she had just said penetrated. [i] The wedding's off.[/i] Liz had really done it. She wasn't going to marry Dan.
Kyle was staring at him. "Wow. You really do know how to smile." He snorted. "Amazing."
"Only when it has anything to do with Liz Parker," Michael confided. "Ow," he continued mildly when Max punched him lightly on the shoulder.
Max rolled his eyes. "We need to go Michael," he said, already hurrying towards the front door. "I need to see Liz. It was nice to meet you Sarah," he called back over his shoulder.
Liz. She was finally free. And now he could tell her exactly what he had wanted to tell her since he had first laid eyes on her again a few days before. He had told her truth after truth over the past week, but it was the first time that they would truly be able to talk without the shadow of guilt about her fiancé dangling over them.
Kyle was right. He was grinning like a fool, but he couldn't help himself. He didn't expect that everything was going to be perfect right away, simply because Dan was gone, but at least they could try now. They could finally really try.
But it wasn't meant to be. Not right away anyway. Because when Max opened the door to leave, standing on the front porch, her hand raised to ring the bell was Isabel. Max's eyes met his sister's questioningly, relief flooding him that she seemed in complete control of her faculties again.
In fact, she seemed a little [i] too[/i] calm
"What are you doing here Iz?" He could feel Michael tensing behind him. He realized why a moment later.
Looking past his sister, his eyes met his father's for the first time in eight years. He gasped in surprise. "Max?" Phillip Evans's voice broke. "I can't believe it's really you son."
Max forced himself to breathe. "Hi Dad." He smiled at his mother, who was already sobbing openly. "Hi Mom."
The next thing he knew he was hugging his mother, his father's arms around them both. And for the next several minutes, all else flew out of his mind.
One more step climbed. He was closer to truly being [i] home[/i] then he ever had been.
And yet, he knew that something still wasn't right. There was one person he could not forget, even in his joy at being reunited with the people who had raised him, the kind family that had made him who he was, all strife and grief they had caused each other before he had left long forgotten.
Liz.
She should be here, he thought regretfully. He knew how happy she would be for him - for them all.
Nothing would ever be complete without her.
He had argued with himself that he could make a life for Ben and himself without her, had told himself that he would be able to accept it if she chose Dan. But he understood now that he had been lying to himself. None of it would mean anything without her.
He had to tell her. And until he did, [i] home[/i] would remain just slightly beyond his reach.
*********************************************
"I want to see my husband." Isabel's tone brooked no argument. Max could see clearly that she expected one. She stared both he and Michael down, daring them to naysay her.
"Okay," Max replied simply. "But we need to talk first." He was seated on the couch in Kyle and Sarah's living room, Isabel seated across from him, rigid in an armchair. Michael stood stiffly near the doorway to the kitchen to make sure that Sarah wasn't listening, although she had readily agreed to leave the Evans family in peace when she had understood that Max`s parents hadn't seen him in years. "Are you okay Isabel? You were totally out of it. Are you sure you're ready for this?" Max's mother was seated beside him on the couch, seemingly unable to let go of his hand, while his father stood behind Isabel, his hand on her shoulder in support.
"I'll never be ready," Isabel said, her voice weakening slightly. She had obviously been surprised by Max`s quick capitulation. "But it needs to be now. I have to break it off now, before he can mess with my head again." She lifted her chin, looked away. "I know it's what you all want."
Max and Michael exchanged glances. The way Isabel had said that..."Isabel, it has to be what you want," Max told her quietly.
"Needless to say Isabel, we're not thrilled by this, but we'll go with what you decide." Michael agreed. "We won't kill him - we've already decided that. Not unless he makes us."
Max recognized the shock on his sister's face. "Who are you guys?" She demanded after a moment of silence. "My brothers would [i] never[/i] let me stay married to Nicholas of all people!" She sounded hurt.
And suddenly Max understood. Despite all her grand posturing of moments before, she [i] wanted[/i] them to tell her what to do - wanted them to make the decision for her - so that she wouldn't have to do it.
It told him more about what she wanted to do than anything else ever could have.
"You want to stay married to him - don't you?" He asked gently, grief for his sister's guilt making is heart almost break. "Oh Iz."
Isabel started, stared straight at him. As he watched, her face crumbled with despair. She lifted her hands, buried her face. She began to cry, great sobs of confusion wracking her slender frame. Max's mother jumped to her feet, went to perch on the arm of the chair in which Isabel sat, her arm going around her daughter in comfort.
"Max, does she really need to talk about this now?" Diane asked tearfully. "She needs to get away for a while - needs time to think."
Max shrugged. "I don't disagree Mom, but I think Izzy's already made her decision," he continued grimly. "Haven't you Isabel?"
Isabel dropped her hands, sniffled. "Do you know why I went into that weird catatonia after I found out?" She asked abruptly, her voice cracking slightly. She cleared it, continued. "Since you've guessed already Max, do you know why I did that?"
Max sighed. "I don't Iz."
"I was trying to figure out how I couldn't have known. I went through absolutely every memory I have of my husband - of Jesse Ramirez - trying to remember even one incident that I ignored, or that I should have been able to guess from. I couldn't. Not during the entire eight years I've known him." She shook her dark head sadly. "I really wanted to find one Max. I wanted a reason to run away from him - wanted a reason to leave him, even to kill him…" Max saw his mother flinch at that one. "But there was nothing."
"Isabel, if you need reasons, I can tell you one," Michael spoke up quietly. "What about [i] before[/i] he was Jesse. What about when he was the troll? He [i] tortured[/i] us Isabel! All of us! How's that for a reason?" Max could hear the anger in Michael's voice, understood how his best friend felt.
He did not want his sister to stay with Jesse. He wanted her to be in a relationship that was safe and secure and that wasn't built on lies.
Isabel met his eyes. "Max, that's what I have." He blinked. Had he said that out loud? But he knew he hadn't. Isabel was anticipating his thoughts before he even had them it seemed. "He is not the same. Not anymore. He is not Nicholas. He is Jesse Ramirez, my husband. More than anything I want to be able to walk away from him, but I just can't. And that's why I escaped from this world for a while. I needed to come to terms with the fact that I didn't care who he was. He was my husband and I loved him. He was [i] Nicholas[/i] and I [i] still[/i] loved him. I know it's wrong, and yet it's still the most right thing I have ever felt. I cannot walk away from him - when I knew it, I came back."
"Why not?" Michael flared. "Why the hell not? Just do it Isabel! If he's the great guy now that you seem to think, he'll let you. He'll leave you alone."
"She loves him." Max closed his eyes. "And he loves her." He looked at Michael. "Michael, we know it. We [i] believed[/i] him in the car. You can't deny it. I know you believed him." He looked down again. "And, in the end, he's really not so different from me. In some ways, we're both monsters."
"Max!" His mother exclaimed. "Don't say things like that!"
"Maxwell, comparing yourself to Nicholas is like comparing apples and oranges. You're nothing like him!" Michael snapped. "Stop being ridiculous. If the troll was right about one thing, he was right that your guilt complex is going to do nothing but get you into trouble."
Max raised his eyebrows wryly. "I appreciate the support you guys, but you don't really know me - not completely. Some of the stuff I've done…it's pretty horrible. You don't need to know about all of it, but I like to think that for most of it I had some pretty valid reasons. I think that Nicholas truly believed that a lot of what he did to us was justified. He [i] loved[/i] Khivar - thought he was the rightful king. When I think about what I would do to protect the people I love - what I [i] have[/i] done, he really doesn't seem quite as horrible. And he knows what Khivar was now. He won't make the same mistakes again." He looked directly at Isabel. "We can't ever truly know another person Isabel, but if we trust that we know them well enough, sometimes that's enough." He reached across and took her hand. "I trust you to make the right decision Izzy. If you accept Jesse, then I do too."
Isabel's eyes filled with tears again. She smiled though. "In some ways, I wish you'd pull that king crap and tell me to stay away from him, but here…" She placed a hand firmly over her heart, "I know that he's changed. I know that we can trust him."
"Then it's enough," Max replied. "I'm not saying that I won't be keeping a very close eye on your husband for a very long time…"
"Me too," Michael growled.
"But I am willing to let him earn [i] my[/i] trust as he regains yours." Max looked warningly at Michael. Michael scowled back at him. Max could almost hear him mentally complaining [i] You said you weren't the king anymore[/i].
"Do you want to see him now?" Max asked, getting to his feet. "If so, I hope you don't mind taking Michael with you. Because, for now, I think it's a good idea."
"Where are you going?" Isabel asked, clearly understanding that the only reason that he wasn't accompanying her was that he had something else on his mind.
"I have to go see Liz," Max admitted. "Because I'm beginning to realize that I haven't been fair to her. She's told me she forgives me, that she's willing to give me another chance, but I think I finally understand that I haven't been ready to forgive myself. For all I've put her through…" He sighed heavily. "I don't deserve her, I know it. But she thinks I do. And second guessing her all the time isn't fair. For her, I'm willing to forgive anyone - even myself."
Isabel smiled at him. "Good luck then." She stood, hugged him tightly. "Max, I'm glad you're home. I haven't told you so yet, but I am so happy. I have my brother back." She reached out, wrapped a hand around Michael's neck, pulling him against her as well. "Both of my brothers. My life would not be complete without you guys. You are the only two who really understand me. Because, in the end, we're the same and we need each other." She placed a gentle kiss on first Max's cheek and then Michael's. "Thank you for trusting me. I swear he won't disappoint you."
Max met Michael's gaze across their sister. His best friend still looked somewhat unconvinced. Max could not deny that was still a little wary too, but they would be careful. They would not be caught off guard again.
"If he has any intention of being for you what I intend to be for Liz, then I don't think we're going to have a problem," Max grinned. "And on that note, I'm out of here." He hugged his mother and father. "I'll see you guys at home later. Thank you for allowing it to still be my home."
"You're our son Max," his father replied emotionally. "You always will be and you will always be welcome in our house. You and [i] your[/i] son."
Max was whistling to himself as he climbed into the Cherokee and drove towards the centre of town. He knew that he really should not be in such a good mood - he still didn't know if Liz was going to forgive him for his latest freak-out. He understood that he should be more worried about Jesse and Isabel.
And, yet, he still had a gut instinct that their troubled times were over. For the first time in his entire life, optimism was practically making him giddy.
He pulled up in front of the Crashdown several minutes later, virtually leapt from the car and hurried towards the familiar doors - the doors that he had [i] dreamt[/i] of going through to tell Liz how much he loved her for so long, it was pretty much a permanent part of his imagination.
He pushed them open, his heart pounding in anticipation. The bell over the door tinkled it's familiar tone, bringing a half-smile to his face. He stepped into the empty restaurant, his breath catching.
Because suddenly, there she was. She was just coming through the swinging door from the back, throwing a bag over her shoulder, obviously on her way out. She came to abrupt halt at the sight of him.
They stared at each other for what felt like forever before she finally broke the silence.
"Hi." Her voice was soft, barely audible.
"Hi," he replied tentatively, unsure how she was going to greet him.
"You came back." A small half-smile made his heart thunder.
"I had to see you."
She tilted her dark head to the side, continued to stare at him, her large brown eyes shining. "Why?"
"You're not engaged anymore."
Liz frowned. "Is that all?"
"Because I love you." He took a careful step towards her. "I know that you've been waiting. I'm sorry."
She didn't reply immediately, just watched him. "Am I going to have to wait much longer Max?"
"You are never going to have to wait for me again."
It felt as though they were both holding their breath, unsure how to proceed. "We still need to talk," Liz told him quietly.
"I know."
"Things can't go back to the way they were. Not ever."
"I know that too. I want to start over with you Liz. I want you to fall all over again."
She smiled slightly again. "I don't think that's going to be hard." There was a pause. "I was on my way to see Ben."
"Good idea. We should check on him." Max felt a twinge of guilt that Ben had actually not been on his mind at all for the past few minutes. His son was [i] always[/i] on his mind, always came first. For just one instant, he had wanted it to be Liz who did.
But she would not allow it.
Liz brushed past him, headed for the door. He felt his heart fall slightly. She was pushing her way through, the bell already ringing, when she suddenly whirled and threw her arms around his neck. He stumbled backwards slightly, barely managed to grab her by the waist before her lips were on his.
"Liz?" He exclaimed, pushing her hair away from her face, unable to pull his own lips away from hers, despite the fact that he was so shocked, it took him a moment to start responding.
He had been waiting for this for so long, he had almost forgotten how to do it. But their lips were made for each other after all. It didn't take him long.
She wound her hands through his hair, pulled back slightly. They were both gasping for air. She smiled at him, a sexy little grin that curled his toes. "I've fallen. It's too late."
"But we need to talk," Max told her, leaning his forehead against hers, trying desperately to get a hold of himself. It was hard, considering the fact that all he wanted to do was to drag her down onto the floor of the Crashdown and make love to her.
He was a virgin, yes, but this was Liz and he didn't think he was going to have much trouble figuring out what to do.
"We will." She continued to smile. "Just not now."
And with that, she kissed him again.