**To Love Is A Mistake**
Chapter Five
Author's Note: Thank you all for giving me your support by submitting in your reviews. I greatly appreciate it, for I believe a writer can only improve by getting comments and suggestions. Please continue to review my fics. ^_^
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters that I have mentioned in my story below, they all belong to J.K Rowling. The song that I have included (only a part of it) belongs to the soundtrack of Moulin Rouge, and to Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor, so I do not own it, PLEASSSSE don't sue me!
Now let's get on with the story!
"Lily!" James cried hoarsely, and dived into the lake to save her after putting a spell on himself so he could breathe underwater. Lily's head had already gone underwater, probably caught by the large octopus or something.
It was dark and murky and James was extremely uncomfortable, swimming in robes. He muttered "Lumos" to his wand, but it didn't light up.
Please, please, please let Lily be alive, he thought desperately.
James dived down even further, and got attacked by a lashing octopus.
"Damn you, could you just PISS OFF!" James yelled at the octopus.
Unfortunately, the octopus never did understand English, so James blasted a few spells at it. It finally moved away, probably tickled by the stream of spells sent at it.
Hidden behind the octopus was Lily, floating lifelessly, her chest heaving slowly, as if she was running out of breath. Her figure was contrasted against the dark backdrop, which made her stand out as a beautiful princess, blessed with the gift of serenity and the beauty of her green eyes.
James said a silent prayer thanking God, then he swam to her, but was immediately blocked by a swarm of talking fishes he never knew existed in the lake.
"Do not touch her - she is dead. She will never come back to life," a fish said.
"What the hell are you talking about? She isn't dead yet - look!" James yelled, trying to break through the shoals of fish.
"She will be offered up to our King. No one can save her. Because someone threw her into the lake as an object of sacrifice, we must accept it. Unless..."
"Unless what? I'll do anything!" James said desperately.
"She gets a kiss of life from her true love," the fish said.
James was crestfallen - he couldn't do that. Severus was the one Lily loved, and kissing her wouldn't do any good. But he could try - he never knew.
"Let me try," James pleaded.
At his words, the fish parted and James swam through. As he neared Lily, suddenly a song played into his head, out of nowhere.
Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love you more and more
James looked at Lily - her pale face in the dim light, her eyes gently shut, her red hair like ambers of fire against the black colour of the water, like paint. The colour of health had been drained out of her skin, her skin now eerily white.
James' heart broke to see Lily this dead. He leaned in to place his lips on her own cold ones, to give some of his life into her; to encourage her to wake up so that he could hear her voice again.
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time
James parted from Lily just as Lily's eyes fluttered open, her emerald eyes looking around in wonderment. Around them, the fish clapped [A/N: sorry, I mean, I invented these crazy fish just because I couldn't think of anything else :) ] in awe. Obviously Lily didn't know what was going on, but then suddenly she couldn't see anything else but the world she and James was in, and there was a song playing at the back of her head, a song that seemed strangely familiar.
Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day
"James?" Lily said weakly. She was bewildered at these feelings tossing her around like her heart was a bouncing basketball.
"Don't say anything, Lily," James said quietly.
Lily was glad he said that, because she chose that perfect moment to faint in his arms.
*
When Lily came to, she was in the Infirmary, but no one else was around except Madam Florine, the matron of the Infirmary. She was glad of the peace and quiet, and the silence, as she could finally think her issues out clearly.
Severus tried to kill me, she thought sadly, the thought crushing on her heart like a heavy block of stone.
He took advantage of me.
Lily shed tears, her vision now blurring over.
And my knight in shining armour....
Lily sighed.
Is James Potter.
Lily rolled over, trying to forget James.
Again, she thought exasperatedly.
Every time I get into trouble, he comes, like he was meant for me.
MEANT FOR ME?! What I am talking about?
But Lily had to admit, the feeling of seeing James there for her, her rescuer; her saviour; her comforter, couldn't just stretch to relief. It was...a nice feeling. Of warmth and of strength.
He was there to pick the pieces for me when my heart shattered. And he never let go of those pieces, so obviously most of my heart belongs there with him now.
James was the only one who was there for me when Severus broke up with me. He bothered to come looking for me, when I expected Severus. He didn't mind that I treated him like a idiot.
And James rescued me today, didn't he?
STOP IT, LILY. Seriously!
Lily turned over to the other side, trying to ignore her feelings.
I'm supposed to love Severus.
SEVERUS. Severus Snape, the love of my life.
Or not.
STOP IT. You know he is.
The love of your life...
Lily sat up, frustrated.
Why can't I stop thinking about James Potter?
I'm not IN love with him!
I'm not, I'm not.
I AM NOT. Get that into your stupid head.
Potter. Potter, Potter, Potter, Potter, Potter.
Shut up, debated Lily in her mind, arguing with the other voice in her brain. How can I fall for him so fast? It's only a few incidents. I'll just ignore it. I love Severus. How can I ever love his arch-enemy?
Lily settled back down, relieved that she had settled her relationships. She hated James for ruining her perfect life, turning it upside-down. Before he rudely intruded into her life, she could have just loved Severus as one, as a whole. Now she was two-timing him, deceiving him and also deceiving herself.
James probably put some sort of weird love spell on me. Yes, that's right. That's why I'm feeling this way. I'll settle scores with him tomorrow - bash him up or something for messing with my mind and heart.
Lily tried to sleep, but thoughts popped into her brain once more.
But why would Severus want to kill me?
I thought we settled that already? thought Lily, angry with herself for being so confused.
Maybe he was under control of somebody. Yes...that's the answer. Now go to sleep already.
Glad that she finally could answer her own questions, she settled off into a dreamless sleep. Because of her deep love for Severus, she was even able to ignore the nagging voice at the back of her brain, telling her that she must love James.
*
"You've got a fair amount of admirers, Miss Evans," Madam Florine smiled, wheeling an entire cart of get-well cards from her fellow schoolmates.
"Mmm," Lily merely said, but her heart leapt. Maybe there's a card from Severus in there... she thought hopefully.
"Enjoy reading them, Miss Evans," Madam Florine turned on her heel and walked over to her desk at the other side of the room, leaving her in peace.
Lily rummaged through all her get-well cards and little gifts, ignoring all the Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw ones and only looking for the ones from the guys of Slytherin. She was disappointed.
There's none from Severus...
Suddenly the door opened; someone had entered the Infirmary.
"You can't come in yet. Miss Evans says she's not ready to see anyone," she could hear Madam Florine say.
Maybe that's Severus, coming to see me personally!
"Who is it? Let him see me," Lily called out.
"Hello," Sirius Black's face peeked around the corner.
"What are you doing here?" she demanded rudely. She disliked anyone in the company of James Potter. Anyone who knew him was as mean as he was - messing with other people's hearts and minds.
"Geez, can't a guy see you without getting snapped at?" Sirius retorted, and even though she didn't invite him to sit down, he pulled up a chair and sat next to her bed.
"Oh, stuff from admirers, huh?" Sirius tried to strike a conversation.
"If you have nothing else to say, get out. I'm expecting someone," Lily said sourly.
"Oh?" Sirius said, cocking an eyebrow questioningly.
Just like James...I mean, shut up, Lily, don't think about him, Lily scolded herself mentally.
"Yes," Lily said firmly, crossing her arms and looking suggestively at the door.
"Tut, tut, tut, what a temper," Sirius smiled. "The kind of girl I like. Fiery yet cold."
"Shut up," retorted Lily, her red hair reflecting the anger in her eyes.
Sirius shrugged. "If you keep that act up, I won't show you the one special card you've been waiting to see."
"What, a card from James Potter?" Lily drawled sarcastically.
"Ooh, you are so cute when you get sarcastic," Sirius chuckled. Then, he suddenly made a disgusted face. "No, it's not from James."
"Really?" Lily said hopefully, in case it was a card from Severus.
"Now you're so sweet. Really, Lily - you're as calm as water when you want to be, then hard as steel as well," Sirius said.
"Shut up, Sirius, or else I won't let you in anymore. Now give it," Lily said.
"Here you go," Sirius held out a yellow card to her, but before Lily could touch it, he hid it away and yawned. "You gotta be faster than that, Lily."
"Sirius Black!" warned Lily.
"Now, now, getting angry are we? Smile again, Lily, then I'll show it to you," Sirius said, teasing her.
Lily had to use every ounce of her self-control not to give him a black eye. Instead, she formed a small, sarcastic smile, in which Sirius howled at.
"Oh, that's a good one," Sirius laughed. "Anyway, you have to pay me for my postal services."
"You -" Lily started.
Sirius waved the card temptingly in front of her face.
"Very well," Lily sighed resignedly and tiredly. "What?"
"Give me a massage," Sirius said, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
Lily wanted to smack him - HARD - so as to wipe that silly grin off his face. Like all the other flirtatious guys, he wanted a taste of Lily Evans.
Very well. You want me? So you've got it, thought Lily, a smirk creeping up her face. Two can play this game.
"All right, Sirius," Lily said seductively. "Come closer."
Sirius chuckled again, but responded.
Lily placed her hands on Sirius' strong shoulders, and started to massage them gently.
"Ohhhhhh...that's nice. Oh, just what my aching shoulders need..." Sirius smiled.
Lily began to massage more vigorously.
"Stop, Lily, you're going a bit too fast...normal pace please..."
Lily didn't stop. In fact, she put on more force and practically wrenched the flesh out of his bones.
"No, Lily! Ouchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Sirius yelled, and yanked Lily's hands away from him. As he recuperated from Lily's special massage, Lily caught the card and opened it.
It said:
My dear Lily,
I am sorry that I have not been able to visit you lately, as I have been assigned a huge amount of homework. I am terribly sorry about the night at the lake. Something had possessed me and I still cannot believe I did that to you. Please graciously forgive me. I hope your love for me has not wavered. If I have time, I will come down to see you. Wait for me. I love you.
Yours lovingly,
Severus Snape
P/S Please don't be surprised to see Sirius Black (my enemy for always!!!!) send this to you as he is under my orders to do so. (Bribery, you know.) Otherwise, I would reveal his crush on Emily Alliot ^_^
Lily sighed with happiness and clutched the card to her chest. Sirius had now recovered and was glaring at Lily with a killer stare.
"You've done your duties, now get out," Lily said, making sure she sounded extra-sweet and innocent.
*
After three days Lily was back to normal health. She had recuperated faster than expected, mostly because of Severus' cards which brightened her day. However, after she had been discharged, Severus did not come to see her, or even look at her. Lily figured he was still remorseful and embarrassed for what happened to her. She thought it was an extremely sweet thing to do.
Lily made sure she avoided James' eye whenever he passed. At first he smiled at her whenever he saw her, but after earning Lily's killer frowns, he looked confused, then after a while he looked hurt.
Serves him right for tampering with my mind, Lily thought smugly. Too bad I was smart enough to see through his scheme.
But after a while James ignored her as well, which kind of stirred a guilty feeling in Lily. But Lily thought it was another of those hallucinations she was getting, and thought nothing of it. However, she was finding it harder and harder each day to erase the memory of James' black hair, the natural way he calmly strode through the Hogwarts halls, the way he smiled when someone told him a joke, the way his eyebrows rose when something was questionable.
What a strong effect the love spell he used on me has, thought Lily. He must be an extremely good student to make me think he's so attractive. Yuck. Thank God I have Severus.
But Severus hadn't been talking to her for the last few days, which kind of irritated Lily. She had already forgiven him. She even told him that she still loved him and that she had loved his cards. She was still waiting for him to come back to her.
She had said all that, but Severus was probably deaf to her pleas. He even told her he didn't remember anything about sending her cards, but Lily believed in seeing better than believing.
"I really didn't send you anything," Severus protested. "And I thought you hated me."
"I don't hate you," Lily said desperately. "No. Not at all. I've been waiting for you; for your love."
Severus didn't reply. And he never did.
Lily was crushed. But she thought, maybe guys are just like that. They pretend to forget about important things to us girls because they're shy.
How sweet of Severus!
*
"I LOVE SEVERUS SNAPE!" Lily screamed when she was in her dorm room.
"Please, keep the volume down," a fellow Slytherin roommate giggled.
"He was so sweet, when I was ill he sent me cards and everything!"
"Um, Lily. Could I talk to you for a second?" Dawn spoke up. She had put down the book she was reading.
"Sure. Spit it out," Lily said excitedly.
"I mean, in private?" Dawn said. She was getting increasingly edgy.
Dawn dragged Lily to the common room, which was completely empty now.
"Well...I noticed you've been extremely cold to the Marauders recently. I mean, not that usually you aren't cold, it's just...I mean, you don't talk to them even when it's necessary."
"So?" Lily snorted. "That's because I'm angry with them!" She proceeded to tell Dawn about her thoughts about James Potter and the love spell he put on her.
Dawn shut her eyes. "Lily...I'm afraid you're wrong. There's something you need to know."
"I already do know, and that is I want nothing to do with them! How despicable of them! I only want to be with Severus -"
"Yes, see, that's what I want to talk to you about. To enlighten you about," Dawn said. She hesitated.
Lily started to become suspicious. "It's about the cards Severus sent you."
"I love them," Lily replied defiantly.
"Exactly, but..." Dawn hesitated again. "Look, I don't know if I should be telling you. I mean, it's supposed to be a secret and all that but -"
"Dawn," Lily said firmly. "Just tell me. NOW."
"Okay." Dawn took a deep breath. "Don't freak out on me, okay?"
"I won't."
"You promise?"
"I promise," Lily said half-heartedly, just eager and anxious to know what the big secret was.
"Well, the cards weren't written by Severus."