Chapter Eight
**To Love Is A Mistake**
A/N: Helllllo people! I am BACK! Well, I'm taking time off my study time to write this chapter just for you all...hope you like it...WARNING: Things in this chapter get really gross! Well, at least that gives you an idea of what I'm like... :) Here goes: Melody vs. the wonderful Lily Evans! (sorry if I sound biased...)
Disclaimer: If you read Harry Potter you'll know the original Harry Potter characters like James Potter, Lily Evans and Sirius Black aren't mine but J.K Rowling's! I only own that sickening little Melody and the Boyfriend/Girlfriend Handbook. Also, all of Melody's bimbo-tic actions all belong to me! (Ewwww....I still can't believe I made up such a character...)
*Seen through the eyes of Melody*
I need to go find James Potter, thought Melody excitedly.
He is so cute, and sweet and just plain EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED!
Melody's sharp eye caught that familiar black hair, and those beautiful eyes, which were currently crinkling with mirth at a joke Sirius was telling him.
Oh, oh, oh! Melody thought, getting all jumpy. See, he's so, so, so, so SO CUTE!
Okay, okay, calm down, stop hyperventilating, Melody Jones.
All right. Rule number eight in "The Boyfriend/Girlfriend Handbook": Time to turn on your charm when the person of your choice is drifting down the hallway in your direction.
Melody fluttered her eyelashes and flicked her hair when James came by, so he could smell the fragrance of her hair, but James recoiled.
"Got some dandruff in your hair, Jones?" Sirius laughed. "Need to flick it all off?"
"Shut up, Black," Melody snapped. "Going somewhere, Jaaaaaames?" Melody said sweetly, pursing her lips out so he could see the luscious fullness of her lips.
James had a mix of emotions running around crazily in his eyes: confusion, disgust, fear and a bunch of other things Melody didn't recognize.
Are these supposed to be the telltale signs of a future crush? Melody thought, still striking her pose, and mentally, quickly referred to her favourite handbook.
Nope, it's not under the sections "Crush" or "First Kiss" or "Getting to Know Your Love Better" and all the other useful help sections.
"Uh..." James had finally opened his mouth to speak. "Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do have Potions now."
"With the Slytherins," Remus commented. "Yuck," he gagged.
"Oh?" Melody said, then she giggled. "I have that now too!"
"Duh," Sirius said lazily, then smirked. "You're a Gryffindor, aren't you?" He then looked at Remus and mouthed, A complete airhead.
"Oh, of course, yes," Melody said, flushing red. How embarrassing...
James looked at her with pitying eyes, or at least that's what Melody thought. "Well," he said. "Want to walk with us?"
"James!!!!" Sirius whined.
"What?" James said, oblivious to the fact that Sirius didn't particularly like Melody; she was always being an irritating idiot following James around like a lost dog. But Sirius couldn't very well say the reason out in front of Melody.
I win, you lose, thought Melody proudly as she trailed behind James. Suddenly she felt very daring. Darting forward, she deftly pinched James' bum. The effect was instantaneous. He spun around almost immediately, looking shocked and horrified and even...terrified!
What do I say, what do I say....! "Ooh, soft," she softly giggled, saying the only thing that came to her mind.
Sirius' mouth was hanging open, obviously not believing she had just done that to his best friend.
Ha ha, Sirius, shut that big trap or a fly will get in, thought Melody happily.
"Excuse me," someone said coldly, bringing Melody back down to Earth, then freezing her molten hot feelings into ice. That's how icy it had become - with snow and rain as well.
"What?" Melody retorted, angry that someone had broken her romantic train of thoughts and so rudely blocked the path to the Potions dungeon. Melody realized that James was looking away from the girl who now stood in her way, looking at everything else but her.
The girl smiled slowly. "Obviously you haven't heard about the great Lily Evans. Nothing, or no one, will ever come in my way."
Melody stood up to Lily. "Oh yeah?" she shot back. "Why don't I be the first one?"
Lily was looking furious. "As long as I stand here you can't do anything!"
"Oh yeah?" Melody said, shoving Lily backwards.
Lily's green eyes had practically changed their colour to the colour of her amber hair. "Maybe you shouldn't have done that."
"Yeah?" Melody yelled. "Well, I just did, Lily - Evans!" Melody spat.
"You watch out, Melody Jones!" said Lily dangerously and softly as she went right up to Melody, so close Lily could see Melody's pupils dilating with fear. "It's wartime."
What did I do to her?! She's got some major ATTITUDE problem!
Lily Evans, indeed! More like, Killer Evans!
*
Melody could see Lily practically seething with anger, but she didn't know what she did. Maybe she was jealous because she got such a perfect guy like James and she didn't have.
Melody began batting her eyelids again, trying to attract James. Sirius laughed and said, "Got something in your eye, Jones? Here, let me help -" With that, Sirius poked and practically gouged her whole eyeball out.
"Watch it, Sir...I mean, Black!" faltered Melody, trying to balance on her two feet as she rocked on her heels, because she had been trying to dodge Sirius.
Sirius only laughed harder and mimicked her whiny voice.
"Jaaaaaames!!" Melody protested. "He's bullying me!"
She thought she heard James mutter, "Urrrrrgh...good for you." But it was probably just her imagination.
"Jaaaaaames, he's bullying meeeeee!" Sirius screeched, copying Melody's every spoken word.
Melody decided it was best to ignore that pesky Sirius. She edged closer to James, but not watching out for her robes, in which the edge had caught on the stool, ripping her robes ever so slightly. James heard the ripping noise and turned to look, only to stare at an extremely embarrassed Melody, flushing red from head to toe.
I SWEAR I didn't get my robe stuck there! screamed Melody in her brain. It must have been a prank!
Professor Firbora, the Potions master, was now ordering everyone to get started on their Potions assignment.
Please, please let me pair up with James Potter...
"Potter and Evans," Professor Firbora drawled lazily. Suddenly he seemed to wake up. "No, no, sorry...Gryffindors and Slytherins can't work with each other without throwing all sorts of things at each other...tell you what Potter, you get Jones, and Evans, you pair up with Parkinson."
Victory! thought Melody excitedly. It is so sweet...thank god I remembered how to use that Befuddling Charm on Professor Firbora! Now I have James all to MYSELF!!
Lily looked furious, at something Melody wasn't sure. She also seemed to be cursing silently about something. All she knew that James looked a trifle disappointed, or was that just her way of thinking?
"Well, well, well, it seems like we're fated to be together!" squealed Melody. A loud CHOP was heard from the other table, where Lily was working on. She was viciously cutting up her roots, the pieces all uneven.
James shrugged, and made no move to be closer to her. He seemed pretty comfortable with where he was.
Ohhhhh!!!!!!! Please come closer!!!!!!! How am I going to FLIRT like this???
James seemed oblivious to the fact that Melody was practically tearing her hair out at not being able to attract James Potter just yet, and continued cutting up carrots nonchalantly.
"Oh, James!! James!!! Jaaaaaaaaaaames!!!" Melody sang, not able to suppress her silly love on James Potter.
"Shut up, Jones, your singing's curdling my potion," commented Sirius from behind.
Even James looked a bit wary and hesitant. "Umm...are you okay, Melody?"
"I just can't get enough of your name! It's so beautifuuuuuuuuuul...." Melody said.
A loud CLANG came from Lily's end. She had dropped something by accident into her cauldron, a knife or some sort, and her chest was heaving heavily.
James apparently seemed to be more concerned about Lily's health than Melody. He snuck a quick look over at Lily, but made no move to go over and console her or something.
"So!" Melody said, a bit embarrassed at her sudden outburst. Her sneaky hands entwined themselves around James' neck. "Let's set a time for a date! You and I! Just all alone, in a romantic place..."
James pulled away, prying Melody's hands from him. But he still kept strangely calm. "There's going to be nothing between us Melody," he said patiently.
Melody refused to believe it. "You're not shy, are you?!"
"Melody..." James said wearily. "We're not going out!"
Melody decided the crying-girl tactic was more suitable than attacking head-on. Rule no. twelve of the Boyfriend/Girlfriend Handbook : Cry or put up a whiny protest to show that you care.
"Nooooooooooo, James........" Melody wailed, pretending to cry. "You cannot dooooo this to meeeeeeeee...." She flung herself at James, fake-sobbing into his shoulder.
"Umm..." James began awkwardly, while trying to pull Melody off him. This was sure turning into some kind of a Potions class!
"Say you'll go out with me!" protested Melody, picking up James' knife and holding it to her throat. "Or I will kill myself!"
"Don't -" James began anxiously, but Professor Firbora had gotten there faster than he could say the rest of his words.
"Don't be foolish, Miss Jones. Now put that knife down and get back to WORK!" he screamed, magicking the knife out of her hands.
Great! Stupid Professor Firbora. I was...THIS close to asking James out!!!! Now all James can think is how much of a crazy lunatic I am, thought Melody miserably.
However, Melody never gave up and continued to cling onto James like a leech.
"We're meant to be together...look at the stars and you will know," Melody said, looking into his soulful eyes.
"Mm-hm," James merely said, not paying any attention to her.
"I love -" Suddenly Melody stopped. She was about to confess her love for James, but now a strange force had engulfed her.
And she burped instead. LOUD. A loud, deep, rich burp.
"What?" James said, staring at her. Melody could see he was trying hard not to laugh, those corners of his eyes already crinkling.
"I - I meant..." But Melody burped again, even louder this time.
"Are you all right?" James said, and a snort came out from his efforts of trying not to laugh.
Melody's eyes burned with shame. Over at Lily's table, she noticed Lily already doubling up in silent mirth.
"James, I'm sorry, it's not what I wanted to -" Melody burped. "I wanted to say -" (Burp.) "That I -" (Burp.) "Oh, this stupid -" (Burp.)
By now the entire class was laughing in gales, and Melody could feel herself sinking lower and lower.
"JAMES!" she screamed, and her next burp came out as loud as her scream. Everyone laughed.
"Make sure it doesn't come out the other way, Jones," Sirius warned amidst his guffaws.
As soon as he said that, an unpleasant bout of gas escaped Melody and Melody's face turned beet red. At this, the class howled.
"Really, Miss Jones!" Professor Firbora said. "You should go and see Madam Florine, at once! This is getting weird! Lily Evans, Lily Evans! Lily Evans from Slytherin, you go and take this meddlesome troublemaker down to the Infirmary please."
"This is so embarrassing!" Melody wailed.
"I hope it didn't take you long to figure out who made you do all that," Lily hinted subtly.
"What do you...MEAN?" Melody's chest heaved angrily.
Lily danced out of her reach. "Now you know what I mean when I say not to mess with Lily Evans! There goes your chance with the delectable Potter!"
Oooh....Lily Evans....ARRRRRRRRRRGH! I can't stand you!
A/N: Sorry if this chapter sounded a little rushed. That's because I am rushed. Sorry about that, because I wanted to post this chapter before I got back to studying my boring ol' books! Well, I can promise the next chapter won't be as bad! :)