Author's Note: Okay, last chapter at last. How sad :( I sure enjoyed writing this though, and I hope you enjoyed reading it too. Thank you for all your support. Meanwhile you COULD check out my other fics :)
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns all the Harry Potter characters. Me? I own zero. Sad...
**Chapter Thirteen**
To Love Is A Mistake....
Star light, star bright...
First star I see tonight...
Lily sighed as she drummed her fingers distractedly on the windowsill, focusing her gaze on the brightest star she found in the sky. As the stars suddenly began to form the shape of James, and the first tears began to form in her startlingly green eyes, she scolded herself:
Not again, Lily.
You've had enough of crying. Be strong, for goodness sake.
I can't, the whiny part of her argued. You know how much I miss him. How much I love him. I'm so crazy about him!
Lily Evans... the sensible part of her warned. Why torture yourself when you know you'll never be together?
Shut up, I didn't ask you for your opinion, the James-defender had now moved in and taken over her brain, shoving the commonsensical and rational part of her away.
Lily flopped hopelessly on her bed, her sparkling eyes unusually bright.
That night, Lily slept fitfully.
*
Oh, James....
Kiss me! Kiss me once again!
Lily ran towards James, in a cliché sort of way, like lovers did. The beautiful flowers sprang out behind her, reflecting on her heart's blooming of feelings.
"I missed you..." James murmured.
Me too! Me too! answered Lily gleefully as he swung her around, her commitment ring glinting in the merry sunlight.
Our engagement ring...our promise ring...
Something hard was painfully poking her at the side of her face.
Hey...stop it James...
That something kept going PECK!
I said stop it! It's not funny!
"Hoot! Hoot! Tu-whoo!"
Hey! ....Huh? A bird?
Lily's eyes fluttered open to find an owl perched on her pillow, beside her cheek.
Lily gave a strangled cry as she leapt out of bed in shock. She groaned.
You mean...about James...It was all a dream...
Damn! And such a good one too!
"Okay, all right, I'm awake already," Lily yawned, her eyes still quite puffy from the silent crying she had done the night before. Not to mention she didn't sleep well.
"What do you have for me?" she asked the owl, extending her hand as her eyes struggled with the new line of vision that was streaming through.
The fairly intelligent owl flew over and dropped a rolled-up piece of parchment in her hand. Lily sighed. She was in no mood to read letters. Not after all she'd been through...and knowing that she and James were not meant to be...
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Lily screamed and dropped the letter in surprise. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" she muttered endlessly to herself. Suddenly she was awake. She was very awake.
Taking a deep breath, she picked the letter up again, and scanned the parchment eagerly for what her lover wrote:
Lily dearest:
Something important has happened and I need to tell you. It concerns our future and my providence with you. Please meet me at the flower field bordering the end of your neighbourhood. I'll be waiting for you there at five o'clock sharp. Always remember that I love you.
Love from James
Lily's hand shook as coherent thought battled for space in her love-filled brain. Did James know? Was that what he wanted to tell her? She didn't know what, but she had to know. [a/n: how original is that line?] Grabbing her cloak, she dashed for the exit from the house but -
Petunia!
"What the hell are you doing here?" Lily yelled. She had no time to argue with her pesky, irritating sister. The urgency of James' note far outweighed what Petunia would say, and that had an effect on her temper.
"Just being concerned about why my little sister was screaming," Petunia spat scathingly.
"Well it's really none of your business," Lily retorted.
"I make it my business," Petunia replied.
"Go away," Lily snapped.
"What's that?" Petunia said suddenly, reaching out to grab hold of James' letter.
"Nothing!" Lily said, flustered, as she shielded it.
Petunia narrowed her eyes. Lily could see the cogs in her brain working frantically as she put two and two together. "You've been writing to your lover-boy, haven't you?"
"Wh-what nonsense!" Lily spluttered, and pushed Petunia aside and strode through. Well, at least it was the truth. She hadn't been writing to James, James was writing to her.
"And you're going out to meet him, aren't you?" Petunia said angrily, pulling Lily back by the tail of her coat.
"Just leave me alone, you nuisance," Lily snapped and swatted at Petunia's hand, successfully prying away her grip. "Have you got nothing better to do!?"
"I'll tell Mum and Dad, Lily! You just watch out!" Petunia threatened as Lily slammed the door in her face.
What Lily didn't know was that Petunia was now spying on her from the window.
*
Lily gingerly stepped into the field of daisies, as she looked out for any sign of her loved one.
"James, oh James, you promised...please be here, please..." Lily murmured to herself as she frantically spun around, her desperate eyes waiting impatiently for any sight of James, willing it to bring her lover forward.
She sank down in the middle of the field, her rear falling on soft, gentle bunches of daisies.
She chose one and randomly began to pluck its petals. Suddenly, as if she wanted confirmation of James' love for her, and for her own reassurance, Lily picked another flower and plucked the first petal off. Hopefully, she would get an answer that made her heart exultant.
"He loves me..."
"He loves me not..."
"He loves me..."
"He loves me not..."
"He loves me..."
Three more petals left. Lily's spirits fell as she listlessly began to pluck the rest.
"He loves me not..."
"He loves me..."
"He loves me..." Lily's voice faltered. "Not...!"
So maybe everything Dumbledore said was true.
Maybe I should give up...
Since the signs don't look good, and James 'supposedly' doesn't love me...
"You actually believe that thing?" a voice piped up behind her and Lily scrambled to her feet.
There he was, gorgeous James Potter, his hair dishevelled as usual, his hazel eyes sparkling with amusement. Lily wanted so much to believe him, but instead she just hugged him and tried to make her fears dissipate. For now, she would love him, even if Lady Fate said no.
"You don't love me," Lily mumbled.
"Flowers never had much sense, Lily," chuckled James. "How childish can you get? I give you my word, I will love you until the end of time." He pulled away and brought Lily's hand up to his gaze, so he could see her engagement ring. "After all, didn't I promise you with this ring?"
Lily burst into tears.
"What's the matter, Lily?" asked James concernedly. "I'm sorry. Did I say anything wrong?"
"I...I h-hate you! How can you t-tease me like t-that!" blubbered Lily.
"You silly goose," James said, ruffling her hair. "You know I don't mean it when I said you were childish."
"I...I know," Lily whispered. "It's just...I can't marry you, James!" she sobbed even harder. "I...I'm not supposed to."
Lily could hear James sigh. Was he hurt? Rejected? Disappointed? But the next words that James spoke were:
"I suppose you know already," he said tonelessly.
"Dumbledore told you too?" Lily said, surprised.
"How could he not, knowing you were sure to rebel against it? You are forever so stubborn, Lily. So of course he had to try to discourage me. He...came yesterday evening."
After he finished talking with me, Lily thought.
"You...you didn't agree?!" Lily said worriedly.
James sighed again. "Of course not. Lily, you know I love you too much."
"But what shall we do?" Lily said softly.
"We're going to face it together," James said firmly. He cradled Lily's face upward to his, the gesture so tender that Lily melted. "Right?"
"You mean...you mean..." Lily repeated stupidly.
James smiled warmly. "Yes, I still want to marry you, Lily. The problem is, do you?"
"Of course!" Lily exclaimed. "But what will my parents say?" she said excitedly.
James smiled again - mischievously, this time. The old charm was back again. "Who said they had to know?"
Laughing, they both took off together as they headed for the Registry of Marriages at the Ministry of Magic.
*
Lily had always imagined her wedding to be elegant and impressive, with gentle, tinkling bells softly ringing in the backdrop as she walked up that aisle of devotion in pure, unblemished white, graciously holding the hand of her father, then given rightfully to the one she had always dreamed about, her only love, James Potter. And the sky would be a soft hue of cerulean, the sun warming the Earth gently, coyly giving off its rays to illuminate her wedding dress, splashing it with a golden tint, making her feel royal. Flowers would greet her as they were thrown at her by her relatives and friends.
But that day, there were no softly ringing wedding bells. There wasn't even a gown in white. Just simple, casual, clothes, and the heart of the man she loved. But Lily was content. Even if there was no elaboration, she felt as light-hearted as she would have been if she had a proper wedding. Knowing that James would now never leave her, her heart was blossoming into flowers of its own.
She gave James' hand one last squeeze - for their love, and for courage to take on the vows.
"We are gathered here today," the justice of the peace said solemnly, "to unite this man, Mr James Potter, and this woman, Miss Lily Evans, in the bonds of holy matrimony which is an honourable estate. Into this, these two now come to be joined."
James smiled at Lily, who had her hand clasped in his. It was all so exciting, all so unreal, that Lily practically shivered with delight.
I'm going to be married. Married. Oh god. To the man I love all my life.
Me! The stuck-up, girl with the cool factor, ice queen of all Hogwarts, married to James Potter.
How I love my life, Voldemort or not.
This is MY life. The way I choose to live it.
"If anyone present can show just and legal cause why they may not be joined, let them speak now or forever hold their peace," the judge said, smiling slightly.
"But there's no one here except us," James interrupted and Lily nudged him.
Just then, the door burst open and in strode Dumbledore, his face looking oddly calm. Or was that just a sign of calm anger?
Next, she watched her parents come in, her mother looking tearful, her father stiff. Petunia was smirking.
That irritant! I vow to get her later! But now... Lily thought anxiously.
The judge watched Dumbledore and her parents curiously. Dumbledore let her parents sit in chairs, while he chose to stand by a wall.
"Well, does anyone have any objections?" the judge said, slightly interested.
They're going to object! Why must this happen to me!? Lily thought sadly. James seemed to be thinking the same thing as he looked crestfallen.
And here I was, thinking I had gotten away with it...It's all Petunia's fault! I shouldn't have quarrelled with her!
"Fine. Let us proceed, then," the judge said, his tone now becoming less interested.
What?! I can't believe Mum and Dad just kept quiet when they had their chance!
Lily was bewildered by all this, but she held James' hand tighter, as if to calm herself down. She snuck a quick look at James, whose eyes reflected confusion as well.
But now they had to sign some papers. It gave Lily a thrill as she signed her name, "Lily Evans-Potter". She was now rightfully James'. And how crazy - and unreal - it all seemed, yet they had been through so much to be together. By the time the process ended, Lily was in a daze and her head full of unanswered questions. Things she needed to know.
"Professor Dumbledore!" she called after they had left the justice of peace and had been pronounced man and wife.
"I am so sorry to disturb you," she said breathlessly. "But please...tell me something...I need to know..."
"Ahhh, yes, I have been expecting your questions, Miss Evans. Or shall I say - Mrs Potter?"
Lily blushed at the uncustomary calling of her new name. "Professor Dumbledore...you've always been so...what's the word? You've always opposed against my marrying James. But why didn't you object when we were doing the real thing?"
Dumbledore merely smiled. "You silly child. How can I force you to believe something that you do not? And, child, how could I bear to separate the two of you, who are so very much in love?"
Lily, in gratitude, hugged Dumbledore. "Thank you. Thank you for letting me do this...for letting me choose..."
"Lily, there's no need for thanks. Doesn't everyone have two paths they have to choose to walk on?" Dumbledore explained.
"But...how about Voldemort...?"
"Don't worry about this today, Lily. It's your big day. We'll find a way to lead him off," Dumbledore reassured her.
"Mum...Dad...how about you...?" Lily asked.
Her mother's tears had begun falling again. "Lily, we've always wanted the best for you, you know that."
"Oh, Mum..." Lily embraced her mother tightly and painfully.
"We promise you a better ceremony, Lily, probably a grand one in the church. Just give us some time," her mother whispered.
"That'll be great. Thank you..." Lily said.
"Lily," James called from behind. He had a new ring too - a makeshift wedding ring that Lily promised she would replace when she found the time, since they hadn't bought any when they rashly decided to get married immediately, so that no one could separate them.
"Go on. Go on to your new life," Lily's father urged her.
"I'll miss you, Dad, but I promise I'll visit," Lily said soothingly as she took the hand of her husband, James Potter, whose last name she now bore.
Lily looked up into James' eyes. They were so welcoming, inviting her to look beyond the depths of the colour, knowing she could seek solace within them, and in his heart.
"I love you, Lily Evans," James whispered, kissing her cheek.
"Lily Potter," she insisted, kissing him back.
I am the luckiest girl in the world...not even Voldemort could touch me with a ten-foot pole!
*
ONE MONTH LATER...
Clutching her father's arm, she literally floated through the doors of the stained-glass doors. If this was what heaven was like, then she was really experiencing it. She carefully glided down the aisle, hearing people gasp behind her.
"She looks like a princess," someone whispered, and Lily had an urge to giggle. But she stayed serious, though smiling now, as she looked into the achingly handsome face of her husband.
"She's yours now," her father whispered to James, and James beamed. In the front row, James' mother started sobbing gleeful tears.
Looking into his attractive brown eyes, she felt like kissing him already. But she could only settle for his gentle hands to clasp in hers while the minister smiled at them and asked them to say their vows.
"I, James Potter, take you, Lily Evans, to be my wedded wife," James said, his eyes intense. "To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live."
Lily's breath got caught in her throat and tears burned her eyes as she said, rather softly, "I, Lily Evans, take you, James Potter, to be my wedded husband..."
The minister leaned forward and announced, "Please place the ring on each other's hands."
Lily felt electricity again when James' fingers brushed against her own.
"You may now kiss the bride."
At this, James took her into his arms, and delivered the most passionate kiss to Lily, folding her in waves and waves of scarlet after that. She was blushing horribly by the time it ended.
"I -" James began.
"Love you," Lily finished off for him.
Grinning, James kissed her one more time. "Truly and forever more," he added.
*
"I want you to know," Dumbledore said as the Potters strode into his office. "...that as long as you stay married, Voldemort is not going to let you go."
Lily held James' hand in comfort and for confidence, as she balanced little baby Harry on her hip, now six months old.
"And he will be on your trail even more, now that you have fulfilled the prophecy by giving birth to Harry."
Just then, Harry gave a high-pitched laugh as he pointed to Dumbledore's crooked nose.
"James, Lily...I am doing everything in my power to save you from a terrible fate," Dumbledore said wearily. "But even I could fail, for Voldemort is more cunning than I am..."
"Thus, the measurements I take are merely to lengthen your life, by a few more years - or maybe only months - or so. You must know that you must be always alert, be prepared for what you are about to face - and the fact that you might not live to see Harry grow up."
"We understand," James said.
"All right then. I think the best way to keep you safe for a period of time is by using the Fidelius Charm...the Secret-Keeper charm..."
*
"My Lord, it is done...I have convinced Sirius to tell the Potters to switch their Secret-Keeper to me..." Wormtail snickered.
"Very good, Wormtail...prepare me for my journey...and to the Potters' downfall!" Voldemort cackled.
*
"Harry, come here!" Lily clapped her hands to attract the toddler's attention. He walked unsteadily towards her, and giggled when he fell down on his butt. Both mother and child were in the garden, James was in the house.
"Try again, Harry! Come on..." Lily encouraged and she extended her hands to grasp Harry's, helping him to stand up. "Try to walk towards me, come on..."
Harry scratched his head for a minute, before gleefully toddling over to his waiting mother's arms.
"Good boy, Harry!" Lily exclaimed, hugging him close to her. A clap of thunder cracked across the sky. Suddenly the clear sky brewed up into a possible storm situation.
"Lily, come back inside, it's going to rain," James called from inside the house. Lily ran towards him, still unable to believe she was finally together with him at last, in this pretty suburban home in Godric's Hollow.
"And I fixed Harry's broken rocking-horse at last," James said proudly, kissing his wife on the cheek, and taking Harry out of her arms and spinning him around in the air, making Harry laugh happily.
James set Harry down on the rocking-horse, where Harry grabbed hold of the horse's ears and began to rock back and forth cheerfully.
Lily pulled James to her side, one arm around his waist, as they looked on at their child. They glanced briefly at one another, not needing to speak, as their eyes reflected the love they had for each other and for their son, and also -
Fear.
Fear for what would happen to Harry if -
BANG!
Harry screamed as a jet of green light missed him by inches and hit the sofa beside the rocking-horse. Harry began to wail.
"A few more inches to the right and I would have got him without you knowing," a cold, shrill voice pierced through the raging night. It came from outside the window.
"Voldemort..." James hissed. Suddenly he became extremely alert.
"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off - "
A cruel, high-pitched laughter rang out loud. The door burst open and Voldemort stumbled in, his scarlet eyes radiating the anger from him.
"What, we've been betrayed...? Are you sure--? James -"
"Just go!" James barked, worried for Lily's safety. "There's no time to think!"
"I love you!" screamed Lily as she picked up the crying Harry and Disapparated into the night.
"You're too smart for me, Potter..." sneered Voldemort as he raised his wand. "Ready to duel?"
"Go to hell, Voldemort!" yelled James.
"Manners, Potter....time to be punished..." Voldemort laughed. "Crucio!"
James collapsed to the ground and twitched horribly.
"No....! I won't let you play with me...!" James shouted angrily. "Stupefy!"
Voldemort blocked it with a little spell that resulted in a blue light from his wand.
"A simple Stunning spell cannot hurt me, Potter...Surely you must know I am on my way to immortality? Perhaps you want to try this one - Avada Kedavra!"
James, who had been busy worrying about his wife and child, was caught unawares as he fell down dead.
Voldemort spat on James' body and kicked it to one side. He ran out of the house, said a spell to blow it up, before proceeding to chase after Lily.
*
Lily stopped to catch her breath. She had been running for quite some time, after she Disapparated. Harry had stopped crying, but was now squirming in her arms uncomfortably. His vibrant green eyes, a reflection of her own, stared back at her, and soon they crinkled into mirth.
"Keep on being happy, Harry," she whispered to him. "I will protect you, no matter what..."
Since you are the only memory I have of James.
"Next time," a voice said behind her, "do find a harder place to hide. It'll make Apparating more of a challenge to me," the voice said sardonically.
Lily gasped and spun around. "Voldemort....!"
But...where's James...?
Don't tell me....he KILLED James???
"You bastard!" Lily said strongly, causing Harry to cry.
"Awwww...look at the poor thing. He's crying," Voldemort sneered. "He's crying because he's scared. Just give him up to me, Lily, he won't feel a thing..."
"Shut up! I won't let you do anymore harm!" Lily screamed, clutching Harry closer to her.
"I just want Harry, Lily. I can spare your life. Just give him to me. You can always marry someone else and have another baby!" Voldemort said.
"No..." Lily said.
I will never love anyone but James and Harry...
"If you want him, you'll have to kill me first!" Lily screeched.
"Don't be so stubborn. Just give me your Harry!" Voldemort yelled.
There is no more meaning in my life if James and Harry are gone...I'd rather die to save Harry!
"No! Don't take him away from me. Not Harry! Not Harry! Please - I'll do anything -"
"Stand aside - stand aside, girl -"
"Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!"
"Stand aside, you silly girl...stand aside, now..."
"Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead -"
Just spare Harry. He's my child.
"Not Harry! Please...have mercy...have mercy..."
Please...tell James...tell Harry...I love them both...
Lily was so busy screaming that she didn't hear Voldemort saying quietly, "Avada Kedavra."
And with that Lily breathed her last.
*
Thus marks the end of a tragic story between two lovers who only had a simple wish - to be together. They defied destiny and their prophecy, and went through all odds and overcame many obstacles to find happiness within each other, only to find that it is short-lived. But their love story is etched out against the inky backdrop of the sky, written among those bright stars, illuminated together with the brilliant moon. Maybe, one day, two additional stars will exist, watching over the son they tried to protect, the boy who lived - Harry James Potter.
Rest In Peace
Mr and Mrs James Potter
Buried here together on 31/10/1981
"Come What May,
I Will Love You Until My Dying Day"
THE END
P/S: Please leave any comments in the pop-up box :) And by the way, the marriage vows and everything? Please don't get the wrong idea, I'm still too young to be married, I got those from books. Does anyone know when the Potters died? If you do, please inform me so I can fill it in. *(It used to be X/XX/XXXX)*
**Great thanks to Milkyweed for informing me about the date so I can FINALLY update it in. (06/11/2001)**
P/P/S: Thanks again to all of you out there who actually read my fic! Whether you liked it or not! Thank you!
**Thanks especially to Erinn -- your review was long, but I loved it! You flatter me so...I don't deserve it! (06/11/2001)**
P/P/P/S: Sorry if this fic was long. Also if this chapter is long. It's the longest one in this fic! Thank you for reading it anyways! :)
Hugz from -- Stardust Firebolt --