Title: The Dance Is Over
Author: Lucy Mars
Disclaimer: As you read on, you'll realize that they don't belong to me. ;]
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Chapter #6:
"I still think that it's a bad idea."
"What is?" Josh asked looking up from his magazine.
"Going to this wedding with you." Kathleen said taking her drink from the flight attendant.
"I told you, it's my way of saying thanks. I'll set you up with some great contacts. You'll be back in the game in no time."
"Still," Kathleen frowned, "don't you think it's going to be awkward?"
"How so?"
"Ah, hello," Kathleen said waving her hand in front of Josh's face, "Donna's going to be there."
"So?" Josh asked, purposely feigning ignorance.
"She's going to think that we're an item."
"I hate to break it to you, but half of D.C is talking about us already," Josh shrugged going back to his magazine.
"That doesn't bother you?" Kathleen asked, sincerely bewildered by his behavior.
"Why should it?"
"Because you're in love with her and she's in love with you."
"Okay," Josh said putting his magazine down and taking Kathleen's drink away form her, "you're had enough to drink."
Slapping Josh's hand away, Kathleen took her drink back. "Listen, Josh. You're the brother I already have. There's no point in denying it."
"I'm not in love with Donna." Josh protested.
"Have you told yourself that so many times that you believe it now?" Kathleen asked, raising an amused eyebrow.
Frowning, Josh suddenly saw the mistake of letting Kathleen have the aisle seat. He was trapped with three hours to go on this flight. "Just mind your own business, Kathleen."
"The fact that you're trying to pull me into this twisted…thing, that you and Donna do, automatically makes it my business."
"I'm not pulling you into anything." Josh denied.
"Bringing me as your date to a wedding that will also mark the first time you're going to see Donna in two years does qualify as pulling me into the thing that you do." Kathleen replied, "Anyway, I don't like seeing you all mopey."
"I'm not mopey," Josh said closing his eyes.
"Again, can I remind you that you're the brother I already have?" Kathleen said poking Josh's arm, "I know moping when I see it."
"The thing that Donna and I did is over."
"So you admit that there was a thing." Kathleen said, feeling excitement that she was making some ground.
"It's been over for a long time now." Josh muttered not commenting on his slip.
"I don't know," Kathleen said skeptically, "I don't think it is."
"What are you talking about?" Josh demanded, "I haven't seen her in two years."
"So? You still think about her, don't you?"
"No," Josh lied.
"Liar," Kathleen shot back.
"Am not!"
"You totally are." Kathleen scoffed, "You're doing that scrunch-y thing with your forehead. You're totally lying. I don't know how you ever survived in politics as long as you did."
"Shut up," Josh frowned.
"Nope, sorry, I can't. We've got three hours left in this flight and I need to entertain myself somehow."
"You find dissecting my life entertaining?" Josh demanded.
"Yes," Kathleen said taking a sip of her drink, "Especially when I see how stupid you can be."
"You're one twisted woman."
"Well from one twisted person to another, can I just tell you that you'll feel a lot better when you just tell Donna the truth?"
"The truth?" Josh asked putting his magazine down. There was no point in fighting with Kathleen. She was relentless when she got her teeth into something.
"That you love her."
"I don't love her." Josh replied automatically.
"Okay, really, if you lie to me one more time I'm going to have to smack you." Kathleen threatened.
"What do you want from me?"
"The truth."
"The truth?" Josh laughed.
"Yes, and what's so funny about that?" Kathleen demanded, annoyed now.
"Nothing," Josh laughed.
"What?"
"Nothing,"
"Josh, this can either be very simple or very hard."
"How so?"
"You can either tell Donna yourself, or I can tell her." Kathleen replied.
"Don't get into something that you don't understand, Kathleen." Josh practically growled.
Narrowing her eyes at Josh, Kathleen grabbed his arm. "Listen to me, Josh. I don't know why you do the things you do, or say the things you do when it comes to Donna, but I do know that you're being an idiot. I don't understand the history you have with Donna, I'll grant you that, but I do understand that for the past 6 months that we've been working together you think about her all the time. You don't think I know, but I know about the picture of her you keep in your briefcase."
"How did you…" Josh asked his eyes bulging in surprise.
"Never mind how," Kathleen said shaking her head, "That's not the point. I know about the phone calls you have with your mutual friends and how you cherish them because there is that slight chance that you'll hear something about Donna. I see how you rush out of meetings when Sam or CJ call. I see how you do a double take every single goddamn time a woman with blonde hair walks by. Damn it Josh, most people never fall in love and you've spent the last two years trying to fall out of it."
"You don't understand." Josh said ripping his arm away from Kathleen.
"Then make me," Kathleen begged.
"You wouldn't understand."
"Don't be a condescending jackass," Kathleen spit out, "Explain it to me."
"Will you leave me alone if I do?" Josh demanded.
"No," Kathleen snapped, "I won't."
"Do you understand that I'm a gunshot victim?" Josh asked lowering his voice and glaring at Kathleen.
"So?"
"So?!" Josh demanded, "Do you understand the complications that come with that? Do you understand the problems that I might have five, ten, twenty years down the road? Just long enough to leave Donna with kids to support and raise on her own."
"That may happen, that may not." Kathleen pointed out, "Who knows what the future holds. Donna could be run over by a truck and you'd never be able to tell her that you love her."
"Don't say that," Josh said looking at Kathleen, suddenly pale. "Don't ever say anything like that about Donna."
"Why not? Nobody knows what the future holds."
"Do you want to know what this body holds?" Josh asked, "Can you understand that I have a fractured psyche? I jump every goddamn time I hear gunfire on the fucking television, Kathleen. Or if a car near me backfires. Is that the kind of man that you want raising your children?"
"I want a man who will love his children." Kathleen answered honestly, "And I know that you'd be a great father."
"I've got a scar that travels down my chest." Josh said stubbornly. He wasn't about to lose this argument to Kathleen. He'd spent the last two years perfecting it. "Could you love a man who is broken?"
"Oh Josh," Kathleen whispered putting her hand on his arm, "You're not broken."
"I have to watch what I eat, what I drink, how I live for the rest of my goddamn life." Josh exclaimed angrily, "I need to see doctors for problems that aren't my fault. They're the result of surviving fourteen hours in surgery, Kathleen! I've got more specialists on speed dial than most people see in the lifetimes."
"Being in love means loving the person no matter who they are or how they are."
"I need to taken extra precaution with every damn thing I do." Josh continued,
"But that doesn't make you unlovable," Kathleen argued.
"Those are just a few downsides to being with me. Do you want to hear the others?" Josh demanded, glaring at Kathleen and her somber expression, "Because if all the reasons that I've just stated aren't enough, there are more. I was her boss, Kathleen.
During the campaign she was a volunteer and I paid her out of my own pocket for awhile. You're in politics. You know how that would look. You also know Donna. You know that she's smart. She's capable. You know that she's going to be right up there with the top guys in no time. How's being with me going to affect her career? Everything that she's done, everything that she could accomplish is going to take a back seat to all the fucking articles calling her things that I don't even want to think about." Josh finished, his chest rising and falling in time with his ragged breaths. The adrenaline was pumping wildly through his veins. He felt like he'd just run a marathon. "Do you understand?" Josh asked quietly.
Licking her dry lips, Kathleen pulled herself together and gave Josh a sad look. "Josh?"
"Yeah?"
"For your sixty-four reasons to why it would be a bad idea, I've got one reason that can stand against them all." Kathleen informed Josh calmly.
"One reason?" Josh asked skeptically.
"That's all I need." Kathleen said sincerely.
"Getting cocky in your old age?" Josh asked.
"You know I'm going to be right." Kathleen whispered.
"Really? Then what would your one reason be, to beat out my sixty-four?"
Smiling, Kathleen shifted in her seat and gently laid her hand over his heart and scar. "Because," she whispered, "right here, it's right. It doesn't matter what your head tells you. How you think it could be a PR problem. How you're afraid that you won't be able to be the husband that she needs. All that really matters, is that right here, you know that it's right. You've found your match, Joshua."
Looking at Kathleen through his sudden tears, Josh was desperate to believe. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," Kathleen confirmed pulling Josh against her for a hug.
"If you're wrong," Josh murmured against her neck, "I'm going to have to hurt you."
Laughing, Kathleen kissed his head softly. "Listen to your heart. It's right. It's been right for years."
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"Today is going to be fun!"
"Yes, fun." Donna sighed pulling off her sunglasses and following Zoey into the restaurant.
"Why do I get the feeling that you aren't sharing in my joy? You're going to get to try on your dresses today."
"I'm sorry," Donna said sincerely, "it's just that I have all this work to do. I've got three senators to convince to…"
"No shop talk," CJ frowned walking along side Zoey, "I forbid it."
"What?" Donna asked sarcastically, "You going to give me a time out?"
"No, but I just may explain to you, in excruciating detail, the unimaginable pain of childbirth." CJ replied.
"Ladies, this is a conversation I don't want to be part of." Charlie said smiling uneasily.
Laughing, CJ nudged Donna towards the table. "Then tell Donna to keep the shop talk to herself this afternoon."
"Fine, fine." Donna grumbled.
"Are you kids ganging up on Donna?" Abby asked looking up from the table.
"CJ's threatening to bring the details of her agonizing experience with child labor if Donna brings the shop talk." Zoey said sitting down beside her mother.
"Ah, yes, the joys of labor. Do you know how hard it was to get Zoey's big head…"
"Mom!" Zoey protested, blushing crimson.
"Okay," Abby laughed getting up to hug both CJ and Donna. "Hello girls."
"Hi Abby," CJ smiled hugging her tightly, "You look good."
"You too, Claudia. Motherhood seems to suit you." Abby said honestly.
"Thanks," CJ said feeling her face flush.
"Where is the precious Lola?" Abby asked, noticing the missing toddler.
"She didn't want to come in yet, so Toby's outside explaining to her how the three branches of government work." CJ laughed.
"Won't that put her to sleep?" Charlie asked, putting an arm around Zoey.
"You'd think so," CJ grinned taking a seat at the table, "but she is our daughter."
"Point taken." Charlie laughed.
"And I think that she likes the sound of Toby's voice," Donna added pulling away from Abby's hug.
"You my dear," Abby frowned, taking in Donna's pale face and hollow cheeks, "don't look so good."
Laughing nervously, Donna mustered up some energy to smile. "Hi to you too, Abby. How's life as Former First Lady treating you?"
"Better than life's been treating you. When was the last time you ate?" Abby asked holding Donna's face so that she could look in her eyes.
"I'm fine," Donna lied pulling out of Abby's grasp and sitting down at the table, "just tired."
"Life hard on the Hill?" Zoey asked.
"Yes and no." Donna shrugged, uncomfortable with the sudden amount of attention.
"You look like you need some sleep." Abby said sitting down beside Donna.
"I just need some coffee and I won't look like death warmed over." Donna laughed trying to ease the sudden tension in her shoulders.
Unconvinced, Abby didn't have time to drill Donna when Lola came running up to the crowd.
"Mama!" she squealed, tackling CJ's leg.
"Hey baby," CJ laughed when she saw Toby try to catch up to their speedy daughter, "Did you race daddy? Hmm?" CJ gushed, "I think you own."
"Dada!" Lola giggled at the mention of her father. Reaching her tiny fingers out, Lola called out to her father, "Dada!"
"I'm right here," Toby said trying to pacify his loud daughter, "Hi Abby."
"Sit down," Abby laughed, "dada. Before Lola has a fit."
Feeling his face redden as the whole table laughed at him, Toby slipped into the seat between CJ and Donna. "Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up."
"Who would have thought," Charlie grinned, "Our Toby is now a dada."
"Dada," Lola squealed jumping out of her mother's arms and into Toby's.
"Whoa," Zoey laughed when Toby deftly caught his daughter, "nice catch Toby."
"I've had some practice," Toby smiled kissing his daughter, "Haven't I, Lola?"
Giggling as her father beard tickled her baby soft skin, Lola smiled at Donna. "Babaa…ba…baba."
"Hi Lola," Donna laughed taking the squirming baby into her arms, "You're so cute with your little yellow dress."
"Believe it or not," CJ grinned leaning against her husband, "Toby picked that dress out."
"I believe it," Abby said winking at a flustered and blushing Toby.
"Where's the President?" Toby asked noticing the missing man and the men in black who trailed him.
"He and Leo are in the little shop down the street," Abby replied handing Lola a warm slice of bread, "No doubt buying something to spoil Lola with."
"She seems to have everyone wrapped around her little finger, all right." Zoey laughed watching Donna play with the happy child.
"She does, doesn't she?"
Craning her head up, Donna was sure she was going to swallow her tongue in surprise.
"Look who I found," Sam laughed nervously patting Josh on the back, and breaking the awkward silence that seemed to have settled over everyone. "He just showed up at my office."
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Ahhhhhhh! *Lucy ducks the objects thrown at her by angry readers* Ow! That one hurt! ;] *hehe* Stopping here is evil, I know...but this part was like 9 pages long, and I couldn't write anymore! I'll continue quickly, I promise! ;] Tell me what you think. Cause really, feedback makes me write faster. *hinthint* ;]
-lucy
http://lucy_mars.tripod.com