- Chapter 4 -
The odd couple
The rest of that morning was normal enough for Gaz. Dib kept hanging around her, silent, but still annoying. He kept staring at her while she tried to focus her entire being on the TV. Obviously, Dib was trying hard to keep his mouth shut.
Gaz didn't dare think about her past. Those were bad memories. She was hoping THIS Valentines would be different. So what if Zim was a stupid alien? He had asked her out. This was Gaz's chance.
And speaking of Zim... The poor alien spent the whole morning trying to dance with a woman (a mechanical one) in his underground base. He was being tested by Gir, believe it or not, since the small robot knew everything about the "do's and don'ts" of Valentine's Day.
Zim was having trouble to keep track of his mechanical partner's steps. It was as tall as he was, but faceless. It only had a round body and thin appendages. Enough so that he could practice. However, Zim suddenly got angry and pushed it away.
-Enough for Zim! -the alien yelled.
Gir, who was waving its fingers to the music's rhythm, suddenly widened its cyan eyes.
-Whassup?
-This is useless! -Zim complained-. I can not understand this intense waste of muscular power! I can not *believe* humans *like* to do this for entertainment!
Zim reached for the audio controls of the computer and turned the music off.
-Ohh, I liked that one... -Gir whimpered.
The alien didn't seem to hear that complaint. Instead, he paced in circles; arms folded behind his back, thinking about what was going to happen in matter of hours. How was he going to pretend be a normal human if he couldn't dance??
-There must be a way -he said-. Yes... there MUST be a way for those drooling earthstinks to *think* I can dance...
-Dance is fun! -the mechanical voice of his little robot helper suddenly exclaimed.
-Yeah? Prove it! -Zim scowled, stopping.
Gir smiled at the order of its master. It jumped to the audio controls and turned them on. The beat of a country song suddenly blared from the loudspeakers. Zim was caught by surprise when Gir suddenly grabbed his arm and forced him to dance.
-No! Wait!! -the alien complained-. Stop it, right now!!!
-Dance!! -the tiny helper yelled, happy.
Zim had no choice. Gir was manipulating his steps and controlling its master. The song ended with a fast spin, prompting Gir to RELEASE Zim. The Irken spun away at top speed.
-Ta-Daa!! -Gir smiled, stopping.
*SMACK!*
Gir glanced at the opposite wall. Zim was smashed against it. The small bot walked to him, humming the notes of the previous song, and stopped at his side.
-See? Dance is fun!
Zim slowly slid down the wall until his damaged body was laying on the floor. He raised a trembling finger.
-Do that again -he whispered painfully-, and I'll be force to recycle you...
-Again? -the small robot startled-. Yaaayyy!!!
Zim heard his "loyal" slave walking to the other side of the room. The music was suddenly playing again and Zim's eyes widen in horror. But he didn't have time to react. One second later, Gir was grabbing his hand once more.
-Nooooooooo!! -the poor, hopeless alien screamed.
-o-
-Good afternoon! This is Jenny "Jam" Johnson, transmitting LIVE from the Heavy-Rock Stars' Valentine's Party! It's four-thirty, and the rock stars are approaching this special event of...
-You have to play it so LOUD?
Gaz turned her attention from the TV screen so she could focus on her brother.
-Yes, I do -she replied.
Dib frowned at her, then looked down at the buttons of his white dress shirt. Gaz glanced at him for a few more seconds, before returning her attention to the TV.
-Aren't you going to wear some kinda dress, or anything like that? -Dib asked.
-Why would I? -his sister murmured.
Dib finished with the buttons and approached the sofa, working on his tie.
-You should wear something else, you know? -he suggested while jumping on the sofa-. Everybody will be dressing well, and your current outfit is... kind of...
He was about to continue, but Gaz chose that moment to turn, scowling darkly. Dib kept his mouth shut (and his wide eyes focused Gaz) until she returned her attention to the TV.
-I like my daily clothes -she simply stated.
-You'll be the only one dressed funny at the party (except, and I have no doubts about it, for Zim).
Gaz didn't turn, but her mind began to work. If she was going to beat Valentines Day, she should do it right. Although she didn't like the idea of dressing as a dorky cool girl, it was a risk she had to take.
She slid down the sofa.
-I'll go change my clothes -were her only words while she disappeared into the hallway.
Dib waited a couple seconds to make sure she was not returning, then started to talk to himself.
-Good... Time to test this device...
Dib glanced at the remote control at the opposite end of the sofa. With a sly statement in his face, the boy pressed the knot of his tie with a finger. The bow of the tie opened and a telescoping needle appeared. Its tip glimmered with a sticky substance. The needle shot forward and hit the remote, firmly affixing itself to the remote. Next, Dib pressed the knot for a second time; the needle returned at top speed, bringing the remote control with it. Dib snatched the control free and the tie returned to its normal position, hiding any evidence of technology behind it.
-Perfect! -Dib whispered-. Now you're doomed, Zim! I'll use this tie to remove your stupid wig right off that green head of yours! Then, when everybody sees your alien antennae, they'll know I was right all along! They'll know you are not human!!
He laughed triumphantly, but his breathing problem quickly turned it into a hacking cough.
The doorbell rang.
-There he is! -Dib said-. I must act normal...
He walked to the front door. The boy put a hand on the doorknob.
-Hello, you horrible space monster! -Dib shouted as he opened the door.
-Oh, heh, heh, that's one of the sweetest things anybody's ever said to me!
Dib gasped. It was not Zim, but his date... the brace girl. She was actually smiling at Dib's comment.
-Oh, no, no... I didn't mean you... I... I thought it was somebody else. But, eh, come in, come in...
A beet-red Dib moved aside to allow her entrance. She crossed the threshold, giggling. She was wearing a long, white dress, although she still had those pigtails and the notorious braces. She stopped and turned at him, raising her skirt a little.
-Well, what do you think? -she snorted.
-Well, I... -Dib trailed off, confused, as he closed the door.
The door was suddenly opened by a kick, just as Dib was about to close it. The child paranormalist suddenly found himself on the floor. The nerdy girl glanced at Dib on the floor, and then at the person at the door, who had raised both fists (and also closed eyes) to the air triumphantly.
-Attention, everybody! Zim has arrived! -the alien said. Nobody replied, he lowered both arms and asked calmly-. What?
Dib leapt to his feet, sweeping the dirt off his white shirt and scowling at Zim.
-Zim... you're here.
Dib and Zim, as usual, scowled at each other. The human boy scanned the outfit of his Nemesis. The usual black wig, the fake eyes... but his clothes were certainly different; as if Zim had been studying the party wardrobes VERY carefully. Zim was wearing some sort of black tuxedo with a white shirt under it. It greatly contrasted with that strange Irken backpack he also wore. Dib noticed he had a bunch of roses in hand (and he also noticed none of the roses had thorns). Zim also had a black bow tie and... platform boots with little blinking lights??
-Hey... nice boots -Dib slowly said, smiling slyly when realizing those were NOT normal boots.
-Do not focus on them -the alien warned.
-Oh, come on! What kind of alien weapons *are* those? -Dib almost yelled.
-These are NOT weapons! I just have a height problem I want to disguise! -the alien defended.
-How true, heh, heh -the nerdy girl said-. I wouldn't like to be called geek, or shorty.
-I'm ready -Gaz's voice announced.
The two kids and the alien turned to the hallway; there was Gaz, but she was not wearing her regular wardrobe. Instead, she had her purple hair released and mostly plain, except for a little part by her fringe, falling onto her forehead. The dress she wore was black, and its skirt almost reached the floor, revealing black, high-heeled shoes. The skull-shaped pendant she always had with her was not spotted on her body, hanging from the string; it was now at one side of her hair, working as hair-clasp. Dib was speechless; he wasn't used to seeing his little sister like that.
Zim didn't really seem to notice Gaz's new look. He just made his way to her, held out the upside-down flowers, and offered them to his date.
-Greetings, *my* human date. May I offer this sample of earthling dusty nature in an attempt of showing NORMAL human affection?
Dib giggled at that. Gaz just rolled her semi-closed eyes.
-Fine... Let's get this part over with -she took the branch-. Let's go to that party, for once and for all.
Zim suddenly bowed, offering his arm. Gaz scowled, not at Zim, but at Dib. He was chuckling a bit louder at Zim's attitude. Gaz took Zim's arm and he guided her outside.
-How funny! -Dib commented to his own date-. That alien guy will be a real laugh tonight, heh, heh...
A bunch of roses (*Gaz's* bunch of roses) hit him right on the forehead. Dib stopped laughing.
-Fine, fine... Gaz, you just can't take a joke.
-No, I can't -the voice of his sister was heard saying.
The nerdy girl smiled and blinked at Dib. He finally understood and also offered his arm, like Zim did to Gaz. The Brace-Girl hurried to grab it. Both walked out of the house, heading to skool.
As the four peoples reached the corner of the block, a small figure appeared at the opposite corner, staring at their backs. A small green pup was spying on them all.
-Master needs advice! -the voice of Gir squeaked from inside the disguise. It looked at something in its hands-. Let's go to the dance, couple!
Without wasting another second, the disguised robot ran after its master, carrying with it it's own date for the dance: a rather cute, rather pink, rather squeaky rubber piggy.
-o-
The whole track to the skool was very quiet. The Brace-Girl kept giggling at the fact she had been asked out; Gaz didn't comment anything; and Zim and Dib kept sending silent, threatening death glares to each other. They finally arrived. Several paper hearts and lights decorated it. A few kids were outside, but Zim guessed the rest of the stinkbeasts were inside.
-Look! Look, everybody! I have a date, heh, heh, heh!
The nerdy girl shouted those words as soon as the first kid was close enough to hear. Dib got red, while Gaz and Zim found it amusing.
They made their way to the cafeteria. As soon as they entered, Zim stopped and stepped back, separating from Gaz. The three glanced at the alien. His disguised eyes were wide open, and his breath was short. He had given the place a general look: tons of pink paper hearts hanging from anywhere and everywhere, lots of stinking human worm-babies chatting, smiling, and wearing strange outfits (aside for the regular ones), and even some female humans who had done strange thing to their hair, forming strange shapes with it.
-Is *this* the party? -the alien gasped.
-Yes, of course it is! -his Nemesis replied with a sly smile-. Go and pretend you have a date, or they'll call you *weird*.
Gaz raised her eyebrows. She was sure she had heard something like that in the past... or hadn't she?
Zim calmed down and scowled at his enemy.
-Of course this is the party -he said-, don't think I didn't know that!
-I'll go hang around the others -Dib whispered-, but I'll keep an eye on you, Zimmy.
-Yeah, get a life, human pest -the alien scowled.
Zim and Gaz observed Dib and his date walking away.
-Well... Look WHO's here tonight... -a female voice hissed.
Zim and Gaz turned. Miss Bitters was next to them, wearing a black widow dress and observing the duo through her glasses. Her hands were clasped and making her long, scary fingers collide against each other.
-Happy... eh... -Zim doubted-... Happy "valenines", eh, I meant "Valentines", Miss Bitters.
-Save it -she replied-. I'm merely awaiting the students' collective emotional DOOM when they make pitiful fools out of themselves trying to dance.
Without another word, Miss Bitters "vanished" to another place. Zim turned and saw Gaz's face. It was filled with... fear?
-Dance? -she said-. Do we have to... *dance*?
-It *is* part of the stupid festivity... isn't it? -the alien replied.
Neither of them said another word. Both just kept scowling at each other. No words were needed. Zim didn't want to dance, and Gaz didn't want to either... and yet, they both knew they'd have to, if they wanted to look "normal".
Zim glanced through the main door out of the corner of his eye. He saw Gir in its pup disguise, waving at him from inside a bush. Zim quickly glanced at Gaz.
-I'll be right back -he said quickly.
-Kay... Don't take long... You could miss the... *dance*... -Gaz said numbly.
Zim hurried outside. Gaz turned and headed to the first table with food in sight. Outside, Zim reached Gir's bush; glanced around to make sure nobody was looking, and proceeded to talk to his fellow partner.
-Gir! How good that you're here! I...!
-Look, I brought my date! -the pup squealed, pushing the rubber nose of the piggy into his master's face.
Zim pushed the piggy down.
-This is SERIOUS, Gir! My human date is much too quiet, and she doesn't seem to want to dance! Is that good?
Gir's eyes glowed red.
-Sir! No, sir! According to recorded data, the success of a Valentines Day Dance is based on keeping the date happy, sir! If the dance couple doesn't want to dance, then the dance couple is NOT happy, and the Valentines Day Dance is going to be complete CHAOS! -Gir's eyes faded to cyan-. Neat, huh?
-No! It is NOT NEAT! -the alien scared-. Our mission is in jeopardy unless I find a way to make my human date happy!
Meanwhile, inside, Gaz had spotted some pizza on a table. She was munching and enjoying the first slice of the cheese-made element, when the voice of her nightmares was heard behind her.
-Ohh... I didn't know YOU where coming!
Gaz gulped down the bit of chewed pizza in her mouth. Slowly, so very slowly, she turned to face her own Nemesis. Gaz was a little scared, but her scowl didn't show that.
-Well, at least that's a better outfit -the voice repeated. Gaz glanced at her, from head to foot.
It was the blonde "cool" girl from Dib's class. The same girl who built on Gaz's already huge phobia of Valentines to the point of never stepping into a Valentines Dance Party again.
The blonde girl chuckled.
-So, how are you? Still playing with that noisy game you always carry with you?
Gaz's arm was about to launch the slice of pizza at her... but her wish to defeat the evil Valentine forces made her stop. Instead, she sighed deeply and said:
-Yes... Yes, I'm back. So what?
The blonde girl just looked at her, smiling.
-Well, I already told ya that was a better wardrobe... But you still are a loser. You have been since the last party... and you'll always be.
Instead of wanting to toss that slice of pizza, Gaz was wondering if she could lift the entire table and squish the girl with it. Again, her sheer revenge-fueled willpower was cooled by the wish to beat Valentines.
-Right... I'm a... loser -Gaz said... and turned away-. Now, leave me alone.
Gaz tried to resume eating her pizza, but...
-And where's your date? That is, if you brought someone.
The annoying blondie was getting on Gaz's nerves. At any other time, she would have Doomed her immediately... but Gaz had a trump card this time... she had Zim.
Gaz turned and faced the blondie.
-My date? Yes, he's outside.
The blonde girl stopped smiling.
-Really? -she wondered in a flat, skeptical tone-. Who is it, anyway?
-You should know him... His name is Zim.
-Who?
-Ergh... Zim... *ZIM*... The green guy.
The smile returned to the blondie's face... along with a disgusting chuckle.
-Zim?! No kidding!
-I'm not kidding -Gaz said, warning her.
-YOU are the most *pathetic* loser ever! -the blondie laughed-. You and the green freako will be Miss and Mister Clown-o after the dance. If you *dare* dance, of course.
-What makes you think I won't dance? -Gaz whispered in a very dangerous tone-. Zim and I might actually be the best ones at the dance, you know?
-You have no chance -the cool girl said-. *My* date is Richard. If you don't know him, let me tell you that he's the best dancer in the whole skool -she poked Gaz's chest there, after saying each word-. You... have... no... chance.
The cool girl left laughing, leaving Gaz with tons of fury in her. Zim stuck his head through the main door. No one in sight. He stepped in, bringing Gir and the rubber piggy in as well.
-Zim!
Zim gasped, hurrying to hide Gir and its inanimate couple under the first table in sight. He succeeded two seconds before Gaz approached.
-Zim! -she yelled as she stopped next to him-. I want to dance.-
Zim was a little confused at Gaz's sudden attitude change.
-Eh? But I thought...
-You thought wrong -Gaz interrupted, clearly annoyed-. There's a blonde girl and her date who are trying to beat us at dancing. If they beat us, we'll be called *weirdos* and--even worst--LOSERS.
Zim reacted.
-Losers?? ... L-Losers?!! -he gasped-. NO ONE CALLS THE GREAT ZIM A *LOSER*!!
-That's the spirit -Gaz whispered-. Now, if we don't want to become losers, then we must... ergh... socialize. That won't be easy, but if we do, then maybe we'll have support during the dance -Gaz paused... and gave Zim a tiny smile-. Let's go... It's time to kick some cool butts.
-Hey... Nice way of talking... -Zim said, a little amazed at the she-beaststink.
Gaz grabbed Zim's arm. The two walked amongst the crowd of kids. It was time to show that they were not the losers everyone thought.
-o-