Title: "The Hole"
By: Oscar "Hoskie" (justcallmesir@hotmail.com)
Pairing: Lister/Rimmer
Spoilers: "Pete - Part One" Season Eight
Disclaimer: Red Dwarf and all of the characters herein belong to Grant Naylor Productions. I'm not making any profit off of this story. I'm just writing this because I am a lonely lonely boy.
Authors Note: When I saw that they got sent to "the hole" together, the rabid plot bunnies came in droves.
***
"Well?" Hollister said, standing up, furious.
"It wasn't me, sir. It was him," Rimmer said, gesturing as best he could towards Lister, while still covering his genitals. "He mad me do it."
"You Judas," Lister said looking at Rimmer, "I thought we agreed to refuse to talk."
"Just let me blame you first, then I'll refuse to talk."
"If I bever/b, see you in this office again, then you're in the hole. Is that what you want?" Hollister asked.
"No, sir," Lister and Rimmer said, simultaneously.
"Well then, get out!" Hollister said, pointing to the door.
"Thank you, sir," Rimmer said, carefully extending his hand. Hollister shook it, looking wary. "Thank you."
Out of the corner of his eye, Hollister saw his sleeve gradually to begin to disappear. "You haven't been down to Medi-bay to get this virus off, have you?" He asked, accusingly.
"I probably shouldn't have shaken your hand, sir, that was probably a big mistake," Rimmer said, looking guilty.
"A big mistake, sir," Lister added.
"I, uh, we'll be going, sir," Rimmer said, looking nervously at Lister.
"Right now," Lister said, beginning to turn.
Hollister reached up to rub his head in frustration, when he noticed that most of his hair had already been eaten away.
"That's it!" Hollister screamed, "Two months. In the hole!"
"Sir, what about my athlete's hand?" Lister asked, grasping at straws.
"Now!!" Hollister screamed as the last of his hair disappeared.
***
A large slanted door was opened and the guards flung Lister and Rimmer into a small room with a very low ceiling. They are back in their violet uniforms, but are now wearing blue beanie hats pulled down over their heads, due to their lack of hair.
"Two months! Two months stuck in here with you. You think if I appeal they might be compassionate and give me a sentence instead?" Rimmer asked, sitting down and leaning up against the mold-covered wall.
"Look, we're going to be fine," Lister said, trying to combat Rimmer's pessimism.
"How are we going to pass the time?" Rimmer said, staring blankly at the ceiling.
"By talking," Lister said, grinning.
"For two months?" Rimmer asked, skeptically.
"We'll take turns choosing a subject and give talks to one another about themes and topics we're interested in."
"Oh great," Rimmer said rolling his eyes, "I'm going to become an expert in how to play the rock classics with a kazoo lodged between my buttocks."
"Sounds like fun," Lister said, grinning again.
"Two months of this, God," Rimmer let his head fall back. It hit the wall with a clunk. "Ouch," he mumbled to himself.
***
Hours went by, and the two sat in complete silence. Rimmer finally broke it when he said, "I'm going to sleep."
"Me too," Lister said, flopping down on to the cold concrete floor.
More silence.
"It's cold," Lister said, opening one eye.
"Yes," Rimmer said, not moving an inch.
"What are we going to do?"
"Sleep," Rimmer said trying to get Lister to be quiet.
"Do you think we could…?"
"No," he said before Lister could finish.
"How can you say no? You didn't even know what I was going to suggest."
"Listy, whatever it is, I know I'm not going to like it."
"Just hear me out, man."
"Okay, what were you going to suggest?" Rimmer said, rolling over and looking annoyed.
Lister's eyes darted around the room, as if there were someone who might hear him. "Body heat."
Rimmer's body tensed. In one way he dreaded the thought, but in another he relished it.
"Or y'know…we could just be cold. Either way…doesn't matter to me," Lister said, rolling over to face the wall, embarrassed that he had said anything.
"If it'll get you to be quiet," Rimmer said, making up an excuse to try it out.
Lister, somewhat shocked at Rimmer's response, jumped up and brushed the dirt off of his suit and walked over to Rimmer. He paused, hovering over the older man.
"Well?" Rimmer asked, getting impatient.
"Okay," Lister said, slowly lowering himself to the floor. He rested his head on Rimmer's chest and sighed.
Rimmer froze. "iWhy did I agree to this? This isn't a good idea. It's bad. Very, very bad. I should.../i" Rimmer's inner voice was silenced when Lister wrapped his arms around him. Rimmer looked down and stared at his bunkmate. He slowly lifted his arms up and embraced the younger man.
***
After that, the two months went by very quickly. Curled up against each other every night, sharing the occasional kiss. Days passing in relative silence, because there was really no need to speak.
When they finally got released, Kryten, Kochanski, and the Cat were waiting for them. Kochanski ran up and hugged Lister. "I didn't think I'd miss you, but I did," she said, smiling at him.
"Welcome back, Mr. Lister, sir," Kryten said.
"How was it spending two months with goal post head?" Cat said, even though he knew that this Rimmer was no longer a hologram. That was the first moment that anyone noticed Rimmer's presence. They all turned to look at him. He said nothing, just turned and began the trek back to his quarters.
By: Oscar "Hoskie" (justcallmesir@hotmail.com)
Pairing: Lister/Rimmer
Spoilers: "Pete - Part One" Season Eight
Disclaimer: Red Dwarf and all of the characters herein belong to Grant Naylor Productions. I'm not making any profit off of this story. I'm just writing this because I am a lonely lonely boy.
Authors Note: When I saw that they got sent to "the hole" together, the rabid plot bunnies came in droves.
***
"Well?" Hollister said, standing up, furious.
"It wasn't me, sir. It was him," Rimmer said, gesturing as best he could towards Lister, while still covering his genitals. "He mad me do it."
"You Judas," Lister said looking at Rimmer, "I thought we agreed to refuse to talk."
"Just let me blame you first, then I'll refuse to talk."
"If I bever/b, see you in this office again, then you're in the hole. Is that what you want?" Hollister asked.
"No, sir," Lister and Rimmer said, simultaneously.
"Well then, get out!" Hollister said, pointing to the door.
"Thank you, sir," Rimmer said, carefully extending his hand. Hollister shook it, looking wary. "Thank you."
Out of the corner of his eye, Hollister saw his sleeve gradually to begin to disappear. "You haven't been down to Medi-bay to get this virus off, have you?" He asked, accusingly.
"I probably shouldn't have shaken your hand, sir, that was probably a big mistake," Rimmer said, looking guilty.
"A big mistake, sir," Lister added.
"I, uh, we'll be going, sir," Rimmer said, looking nervously at Lister.
"Right now," Lister said, beginning to turn.
Hollister reached up to rub his head in frustration, when he noticed that most of his hair had already been eaten away.
"That's it!" Hollister screamed, "Two months. In the hole!"
"Sir, what about my athlete's hand?" Lister asked, grasping at straws.
"Now!!" Hollister screamed as the last of his hair disappeared.
***
A large slanted door was opened and the guards flung Lister and Rimmer into a small room with a very low ceiling. They are back in their violet uniforms, but are now wearing blue beanie hats pulled down over their heads, due to their lack of hair.
"Two months! Two months stuck in here with you. You think if I appeal they might be compassionate and give me a sentence instead?" Rimmer asked, sitting down and leaning up against the mold-covered wall.
"Look, we're going to be fine," Lister said, trying to combat Rimmer's pessimism.
"How are we going to pass the time?" Rimmer said, staring blankly at the ceiling.
"By talking," Lister said, grinning.
"For two months?" Rimmer asked, skeptically.
"We'll take turns choosing a subject and give talks to one another about themes and topics we're interested in."
"Oh great," Rimmer said rolling his eyes, "I'm going to become an expert in how to play the rock classics with a kazoo lodged between my buttocks."
"Sounds like fun," Lister said, grinning again.
"Two months of this, God," Rimmer let his head fall back. It hit the wall with a clunk. "Ouch," he mumbled to himself.
***
Hours went by, and the two sat in complete silence. Rimmer finally broke it when he said, "I'm going to sleep."
"Me too," Lister said, flopping down on to the cold concrete floor.
More silence.
"It's cold," Lister said, opening one eye.
"Yes," Rimmer said, not moving an inch.
"What are we going to do?"
"Sleep," Rimmer said trying to get Lister to be quiet.
"Do you think we could…?"
"No," he said before Lister could finish.
"How can you say no? You didn't even know what I was going to suggest."
"Listy, whatever it is, I know I'm not going to like it."
"Just hear me out, man."
"Okay, what were you going to suggest?" Rimmer said, rolling over and looking annoyed.
Lister's eyes darted around the room, as if there were someone who might hear him. "Body heat."
Rimmer's body tensed. In one way he dreaded the thought, but in another he relished it.
"Or y'know…we could just be cold. Either way…doesn't matter to me," Lister said, rolling over to face the wall, embarrassed that he had said anything.
"If it'll get you to be quiet," Rimmer said, making up an excuse to try it out.
Lister, somewhat shocked at Rimmer's response, jumped up and brushed the dirt off of his suit and walked over to Rimmer. He paused, hovering over the older man.
"Well?" Rimmer asked, getting impatient.
"Okay," Lister said, slowly lowering himself to the floor. He rested his head on Rimmer's chest and sighed.
Rimmer froze. "iWhy did I agree to this? This isn't a good idea. It's bad. Very, very bad. I should.../i" Rimmer's inner voice was silenced when Lister wrapped his arms around him. Rimmer looked down and stared at his bunkmate. He slowly lifted his arms up and embraced the younger man.
***
After that, the two months went by very quickly. Curled up against each other every night, sharing the occasional kiss. Days passing in relative silence, because there was really no need to speak.
When they finally got released, Kryten, Kochanski, and the Cat were waiting for them. Kochanski ran up and hugged Lister. "I didn't think I'd miss you, but I did," she said, smiling at him.
"Welcome back, Mr. Lister, sir," Kryten said.
"How was it spending two months with goal post head?" Cat said, even though he knew that this Rimmer was no longer a hologram. That was the first moment that anyone noticed Rimmer's presence. They all turned to look at him. He said nothing, just turned and began the trek back to his quarters.