In answer to P2's Challenge to do a Clem/Dawn scene, with Sophie for added goodness.

Previously in the Englishman Abroad Universe: Spike made a wish after Xander started insulting Anya, so Xander is now only able to speak to say something pleasant. This is the evening after the departure of Spike, Buffy, Giles and Anyanka to Cairo where they intend to fix Buffy (who did come back wrong after-all). Willow has been taken to Tanzania by the Shaman. Full tale to date at http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=688600

Disclaimer: All belongs to Joss who lets 'em all suffer. Just trying to make 'em feel better.



The doorbell rang just as the delicious aromas coming from the kitchen almost got too much for the hungry demon.

Clem opened the door of his small, book filled apartment. "Dawn! So glad you could come! Wait 'til you taste Sophie's goulash, you'll love it! Welcome, come in. It's the first time you've been here isn't it?"

"Yes, thanks Clem, smells tummy heaven in here. So many books! Ooh! Othello! We're doing that in summer school. You couldn't help me with my homework could you? I keep getting told off by the teacher for saying Desdemona is a wimp, who should have told Othello where to get off."

"Happy to help, Dawn. I could come over tomorrow if you'd like. Promised Spike I'd look after you."

At this a strangely muted growl came from the plump man standing at the door.

"Xander! Sorry didn't see you there man. How are you? Come in! Plenty of goulash to go round. Sophie! It's Dawn and Xander!"

Sophie stuck her head round the kitchen door. "Hey! Good to see ya. Just putting Spike's Africa clothes through the washing machine again. That clay is hell to shift, and there's all these salt stains on the t-shirts."

Xander's mouth opened. Shut. And repeated the actions several times before he was able to say something pleasant in the presence of the S word. "Thank you Sophie. I can't stay, not with."Silence and a red face. "Have a good meal Dawn. Call me later, and I'll come and fetch you. Bye." And he stomped off to his car.

Clem shut the door. "Shame. Aw well, his loss. More for us."

"Can I help? With the table, or anything. Trying to get more into the chores thing, for when Buffy comes back. Wanna be more help...They can do it Clem. Can't they? I'm not gonna lose her again? Not again, not after Mum, and poor Tara."

Spike, Giles and Anyanka! No problem Dawn. Good as done. Course you can help with the table. Be a big help actually. I tend to lose forks in my folds and then we run out."

Dawn started setting the table while Clem cleared the chairs of yet more books. Sophie brought in the goulash, heaps of rice, and then some ice-tea, and they dug in.

"So are you two like living together now? Coz looks very cosy."

Clem held Sophie's hand. "You are our first dinner guest!"

"Ooh, ooh!" Bounced Dawn at some risk to the rather rickety chair. "Congratulations!"

"My Mother wasn't being too welcoming to Clem, and being at home with just the two of us was stifling me, so we decided to move in together. Between the two of us it's cozy. Be good to get Spike's things back to him at some point, so we'd have more space. But it's a start. Our first home."

"I'm so happy for you. Really! I w.Nope, not using the w word. Bad Dawn. I'd say move Spike's stuff to our basement, but with Xander staying that might not be a great idea."

"How is Xander as a sitter Dawn?"

"Quiet, very quiet. I think it's all catching up on him, and not being able to say anything that's not nice is "a challenge". I try, but."

"Can't help anyone unless they want to Dawnie". Said Sophie.

"I know. I w.Nope. Anyway, been curious girl. How did you and Spike get to be friends? First I heard of you was Buffy rambling to Giles about low- lifes, kitten poker and demons that went poof! Course the next morning all she could do was groan, clutch her head and refuse the bacon sandwich Giles tried to get her to eat. Then it's her birthday and the wedding that wasn't, and I never got the story. I miss the stories Spike used to tell me. So."

"Books, Dawn. Strange thing. Played poker together for a couple of months. I just saw another tough ass punk vampire. He saw a demon who kept losing cards in his skin folds, and who liked kittens. Which, thanks to my sweetie here, I have now given up."

"My fur allergy is grateful, know it was hard baby. But thanks."

"Anything for my Sophie."

"Story!" from a teenager caught between blegh and mushy heap.

"Anyway, he owed me some kitties so I went round to his crypt in daylight. Found him reading Coleridge, and he's one of my favourites. We ended up in a long debate on Byron verses Wordsworth, then Dawson's Creek verses Roswell. Both like English football, even if he is a Man U fan, and the only possible choice is Liverpool.

Went on from there really. Don't find many other demons round the Hellmouth you can have an intelligent discussion with, and most humans think we're just animals so they won't bother. So, hence, friends. Tried to help, but he's been through a rough time. Hope it gets better, for all of them."

"I w.It certainly did get bad, for everybody. But I'll drink some ice tea to it all getting much better."

So they did.