=-=: Standard disclaimers apply.=-=
::- Again thanks once again to my opinionists, you know who you are. Thanks Please be patient...Other chapters are coming ASAP Life goes on, people change...stories always come on their own! Please be patient with me thank you -::
A time of rememberance
Severus Awoke abruptly trying to beat the dream away with his bare hands. Again it was the same dream he closed his eyes in pain and wiped at his brow with the back of his hand. He shivered at the memory and finally was aware that he was still in his chambers at Hogwarts school. He sighed deeply and glanced over at the crystal time ball. It was early morning for him. Pulling the covers over his chilled skin he rested his arm over his eyes. His thoughts raced around his head like some psychotic out of control pendulum. He shivered uncontrollably for a moment at the thought of his initiation to the DeathEaters. It was so long ago that it seemed almost surreal to him. But the muscles in his hands remembered the weight and the feel of the beautiful,yet foul sword.Sometimes they itched to feel the blade back in his hands. Even his thoughts turned rebellious and forced him to relive the torture of the girl. Voldemort told him she was a mudblood and he believed him The feel of the blade pushing,and tearing her flesh. His ears ringing with that horrid death scream. Quickly he got out of bed and wrapped his dressing robe around him. This was one memory that he hadn't wanted to relive, Other memories were tolerable but this one, this was the one that really destroyed his faith in Voldemort...All because she had wanted to love him. Sighing he quickly showered and dressed, sleep no longer an option nor sitting in his chambers he had to get out.
Sverus roamed the halls trying to blot out the dreams that triggered the locked gate of his memories to break wide open. Today was going to be a long day,but fortunately no students were here to make it far worse. He found himself walking the rather long hall of windows. He stopped at one and gazed out at the moon. It was the same moon from that night. He remembered forcing her to look at it before her life extinguished. He remembered her mouthing her last inaudible prayer. Mudbloods whom had muggles for parents usually had only one icon to put their faith in. He only assumed that was whom she was invoking. He wished savagely that he hadn't been so stupid in his youth. His only redemption he had ever received was her.
'Falaliel...' his voice going deeper with emotion as he gazed at the moon. Imagining her face in the moon, seeing her smile,and hearing her laugh again. Quickly Severus shook his head to do his best to remove himself from such painful memories. 'they do me no good...' He rested both his hands on the open window and stared over the edge.'She is gone...' he whispered barely seeing the wind swaying the trees below, fortunately he felt none of it. The hall of windows was spelled to keep out the natural forces,yet giving the visitor optimal open viewing and comfort to the stars. Quickly turning from the beautiful scenery to stare at the stone floor. He sighed again and decided to occupy his mind so he wouldn't remember. He started back to his dungeons to begin work on Poppy Pomfrey's cure-all potion,to which she had told him she was beginning running low amongst other potions as well but this one was second to the last and he could start the final one after dinner. Smirking to himself he joked about her in his mind ' Poppy's idea of running low is if the beaker is only half empty...' Arriving at the potions classroom he spoke the password 'Obsidian Saturn' and heard the audible click of the lock mechanism open. He entered and stood at the threshold for but a moment. He glanced around and headed to the supply room to get the ingredients and to start the preparation work before he could even start the potion itself.
Albus Dumbledore sat behind his desk sucking thoughtfully on a lemon drop. He wasn't doing much just reading the latest issue of the Daily Prophet. Things were almost the same,except when he found a rather interesting article. 'NEW DEATHEATER BASED CULT ATTACK!' screamed the headline. Albus raised an eyebrow and looked mildly surprised. He read on finding out that this new DeathEater band was a little odd. They had been spotted in the countryside. What was even more puzzling, they seemed to ride transfigured horses and were silent. Those who survived reported that when this band swept down on them, they had no warning at all. The only thing heard was that of the horses charging. It was also reported that these riders didn't speak,not even to issue warnings or orders but knew exactly what to do.
He sighed and sat back in his chair. He reached over and picked up his quill and pulled a piece of parchment from his desk.He began a letter to one of his long time friends and one of his trusted informants. It didn't take long at all he summoned one of his most used owls as it flew through his window and landed before him just as he had sealed the letter with his special seal and wax the owl hooted at him and waited. Albus looked up and smiled. "Ahh yes thank you for coming friend...Are you ready?" The owl hooted and extended his leg as Albus tied the letter to it . The owl feeling the magic from the sealing wax hooted in question and figured out he was going to be polymorphed in a moment to a new form. "I'm sorry but this is delicate work, I have no choice would you prefer the form of a raven?" The owl blinked and hooted. A matter of moments and a puff of gray smoke the new form flapped it's great wings clearing the smoke. The raven cawed at Albus and lighted on his shoulder. Taking him to the window he spoke softly "you know where to go yes?" the raven cawed and took to wing out in the clear predawn sky. 'gods speed...' He thought silently as he watched till the bird could no longer be seen.
Severus Stifled a yawn as he absent mindedly browsed through a potions journal only published a week ago. He couldn't concentrate on the reading for the writer obviously was of the overly dry and very boring type. 'I would think that even Mr.LongBottom could produce a better article than this...And be more interesting by far...' Growing tired of the reading he tossed the journal on to the table and stood. He stretched and heard the ligaments in his shoulders and back snap slightly as they became limber again. He walked over to the cauldron and checked the consistency of the potion. 'not long now...about a half hours more simmering' He couldn't do much more than stand and lean against a nearby table and stare at the flames. He rubbed the stiffness out of his neck and began to walk towards his office.
He sat down heavily in his chair and just stared off in space. He was exhausted from the lack of sleep, and it was showing most annoyingly in his face, that scowling couldn't help cover up. Getting comfortable for a few moments longer before he was to check the potion again and let it cool before he stored it. It gave him more time to think about Falaliel. Gladly the more happier thoughts of her came instead of the dream induced horrors of joining the DeathEaters. He almost smiled as he thought of how they first met. and how they interacted with one another every single day for almost their entire seven years at Hogwarts. Till she introduced him to her parents, that's when it became clear that they had no liking for him and wished that Falaliel had chosen differently. Even her sisters were against him and constantly tormented him when Falaliel wasn't around, But she could read him as if his emotions were worn on his sleeve. How she demanded that her sisters apologize when she found out. The youngest of 4, she quickly learned how to be the toughest one, he loved that about her.
He began to hate them slowly except for her.Nothing good ever happened to him when muggles were involved. He silently made the vow that he would get revenge on muggles that married wizards...Except for her.He kept it all silent from his then best friend and companion. As they reached the final two years, when Voldemort started to form his DeathEaters Falaleil and himself became more than friends, they forged a relationship that was far too strong for her family to break. She trusted him much more than she did her family. The evening of the last day of school they sat together holding hands gazing at the stars. Severus smiled at her and kissed her. "I love you Falaleil..." he whispered in her ear and smiled when she rested against him. He warmly put his arms around her and heard her sigh as she held his hand " I love you too SeverusMy Slytherin love."
"The chuckle that reverberated from his chest at this. Who would have ever thought that a Slytherin and a Gryffindor could find and make a lasting relationship?" he whispered the empty room. Again he sighed and stood up he checked the potion and found it was the right time to extinguish the flame and let it cool to it's usable color. He checked the small portable crystal time ball he carried with him it was Breakfast in the great hall and he felt ready for some human presence, instead of the comfortable loneliness he was used to. He walked the way leaving the everything as it was.
Minerva Mcgonagall sat at the table and looked at her breakfast. Today was just another day. But what worried her was the fact that Dumbledor had showed her the article in the Daily Prophet. A new kind of DeathEaters were forming? She was hardly believing what was stated there. Of course she had spoken privately with Albus about if there had been something more deeper to this matter. Not even he could say. And that was bothering her more than the threat of a new breed of DeathEater. Of course her being his head deputy at Hogwarts, it entitled her information that wasn't normally passed around in the first go. She felt someone one sit next to her and it brought her back from her thoughts. She looked over and was surprised to Severus. He glanced over at her and gave her a nod in greeting. Usually it was rare to see him here for breakfast, he usually had it in his chambers...but then she remembered that there were no students here yet to wear his nerves down. It simply amazed Minerva that he was so different when students were around than when they weren't. He was almost sociable "Good morning Severus..." She spoke softly, weighing her words carefully with him. She almost dropped her goblet when he replied. "good morning to you as well Minerva." She looked at him for a moment to recover from her shock. He was looking at her, his jet black eyes fixed on her with a raised eyebrow. His smooth voice once again cutting in to her senses "Is something wrong Minerva?" he asked and she shook her head quickly "n-no Severus...Just that I wasn't expecting you to answer...is..all" She bowed her head and blushed lightly.
Severus wasn't expecting that at all. He knew when his nerves were overtaxed,that it made him in to a complete ill tempered dragon. But her reaction to him being so social had taken her by surprise. He hadn't wanted her to feel as if he was a monster all the time. He did something rather rare and placed his long tapered fingered hand lightly on hers to make her look at him. Needlessly to say that it worked. The shock she couldn't hide as she sputtered "S-Severus" Before she could make herself out to be the fool Severus quickly whispered to her "Minerva, I'm not usually a cold monster, it's complicated for me to tell you but I'm not the anti social hermit of a potions master either. I just don't respond well to acts of kindness,and children." And he leaned back in his chair. About to remove his hand from it's current resting place, another act that he wasn't familiar with that caught him by surprise, Minerva had turned her palm up and wrapped her fingers around his hand and squeezed gently in acknowledgment of what he had said and released his hand. All he could think of was 'her hand is warm...'
Albus seen briefly the connection between his colleagues and tried not to smile. Though Severus was seeming to be a bit more relaxed at the moment. He knew that would change once term started. Severus didn't care too much for being surrounded by students for a term. What made it even more apparent that he chose to be so demanding and cruel, but Albus knew the reason why. Why Severus was a perfectionist to heart when it came to teaching potions. He reminded himself that he needed to meet with Severus before the term started. Naturally Albus knew the outcome already, but he wanted to make sure there were no snarls that would make one of his colleagues uncomfortable or angry. He turned to his breakfast and began to eat heartily, engaging in a conversation with madam hooch on the topic of this seasons Qudditch teams.
The rest of day had gone reasonably calm. Nothing too eventful happened other than Mrs.Norris snooping around the open door to his classroom and leaping up on to the rim of the cauldron to peer inside to see if the contents were edible. Mrs. Norris had taken a liking for chewing on Severus's supply of wormwood. Last time he almost cast the petrifaction spell on her when she decided to raid the supply cupboard. He wanted to make sure the cat wasn't just curious because she had never been in the classroom or what. But he soon found out the answer. Silently walking up behind Mrs. Norris who had just taken a sizable chunk of the wormwood he had just prepared and spoke in his coldest, student frightening voice "So Mrs.NorrisYou like chewing on my supply of wormwood is it?" The cat spun around and arched her back in reflex and hissed, dropping the wormwood in to the cauldron. Severus barely had time to widen his eyes in fear as the explosion rocked the classroom. He was about to do his best to protect himself from the hot adulterated potion . He moved to sweep his robes around himself and felt the cat leap in to his arms and her claws sink in to his chest.The force of the explosion had knocked Severus to the floor rendering him unconscious for a few minutes. Mrs.Norris took this perfect opportunity to make her escape, knowing all too well she would be punished by Severus if he caught her. Before she left she couldn't resist, she leapt up again on the work table and snatched another chunk of wormwood and ran out the door.
He opened his eyes slowly. He tried to remember how he had fallen. His chest felt as if the skin had been ripped to shreds. Severus sat up slowly and looked around, He narrowed his eyes at the still steaming cauldron and the memory of catching Filtch's cat stealing his wormwood. "That BLASTED cat..." he snarled and stood up looking at the damage. He took out his wand from it's place from the sleeve of his robe and cleaned up most of the potion. Fortunately it wasn't anything that was harmful while still in it's preparation stage. He sighed and silently vowed that if he even seen Mrs.Noris the cat was going to find herself dunked in the lake,or nearest bucket of ice water. He sighed and started all over. He gathered fresh ingredients so as not to contaminate the potion with cat hair.
What seemed several hours later he could finally look over to the bubbling cauldron to check the consistency of this potion. Again he was tempted to read the Potions journal, but decided against it, he hadn't wanted to fall asleep while brewing this potion, otherwise he'd have to start all over yet again. So he sat in his chair and pondered some more.forgotten book sat in his lap he stared blankly on to it's hand written pages but nothing registered in his brain about the contents. as he sat there his mind far away he hadn't heard the little fledgling owl hoot at him from the crown of his chair.
The little owl hopped up and down a little annoyed that she wasn't being paid attention to. When she suddenly hopped on to his shoulder and nipped lightly on his ear lobe. Severus turned his tunnel like eyes and furrowed his brow for a moment before he realized that it was a messenger owl. He blinked and answered in a soft apologetic tone "I'm sorry little one..." The owl only nipped his ear again in affection and extended her leg for him to untie the neatly rolled tube of parchment. He did so and a faint smile spread across his face. This was one of the newer hatchlings who hadn't yet been taught that he was the mean one. He conjured up a small bar of chocolate and broke it to pieces. This owl had always been sent to Him by Dumbledor and she had taken to him as if they had been meant to find each other. Severus always found it amusing that any intelligent living creature could love him so unabashedly. He smiled and spoke again "thank you little one, perhaps one day someone will give you a name...had you been mine i most certainly would have called you..." He stopped for a moment and smiled as the little owl rubbed her soft feathers against his cheek, urging him to finish "I would have called you glain" Again the owl hopped up and down on his shoulder in agreement. Quickly he thanked her and before she left he offered her a bit of the chocolate "would you like some?" as he offered the morsel . She stretched her wings and folded them and bent forward, daintily taking the morsel of chocolate and ate it just as daintily. "While you are enjoying that let me read your message.." He recognized the ornate hand writing immediately as Albus's.
"Dear Severus, I didn't see you at dinner this evening, everything alright? I sincerely hope so, if you please, will you meet with me at your convienice in my chambers?
Albus"
Quickly he turned over the parchment and wrote his reply
"Albus, Of course I'll join you in half hours time.
-Severus"
The little owl finished her snack and hooted softly to him and hopped down to the table as rolled the parchment up again. She extended her leg again so he could attach t with the thin piece of leather magicked to tie it's self to the howls comfort. Again she hooted and he tenderly stroked the soft feathers and she nipped his fingers in affection "thank you again little one.." And she took to wing leaving his office the same way she entered. Checking the potion he was quite surprised at Dumbledor's timing. The potion was at the stage where it now needed to cool to reach it's proper color and consistency. Rubbing his eyes he luxuriously stretched and took his wand from his sleeve and extinguished the flames. He checked to see that nothing else needed to be cleaned up or stoppered or to be put away. He nodded as he took a finally look around, everything was in order to his satisfaction.
He removed his heavier, outdoor shoes and replaced them with lighter black cloth and soft deer hide soles indoor shoes. He grimaced once at the memory of when a cauldron foot was set on his large toe. Nearly breaking it while he wore indoor shoes. Fortunately for him he was still going to hogwarts when the incident happened. as he finished he decided to walk to Albus's chambers, he felt the tightness in his leg muscles and wanted to stretch them a bit and the walk was just the thing. He shrugged off the canvas work robes and put on his everyday robe he walked out the door, his locking wards falling in to place, he checked them to make sure the door was locked out of sheer habit and walked down the corridor. He walked through the Slytherin part of the school and soon found himself taking the long way, again through the hall of windows. It would be far too pointless to stop and go another way so he trudged on, taking his time to look at the beautiful evening sky, just minutes after the sun had set. He winced as he realized that he was so engrossed in his work that he hadn't even taken a break from it till now.
Quickly he made his way to Dumbledor's chambers, passing no one on the way. He tapped on the heavy,carved oakwood door and waited to be admitted. In a matter of second he was, The door opened by it's self and Severus quickly entered. "Good evening, Professor," Dumbledor spoke warmly without looking at him. Severus looked puzzled for a moment, and he realized that Dumbledor wanted to get school matters out of the way first before the pleasantries. "good evening Headmaster" Severus said smoothly and walked towards the fire. He waited as Albus ushered him to the chair next to him and waited till he got comfortable. "I hope I have not torn you away at a critical moment, professor..." Albus looked at him with a slightly raised eyebrow and Severus merely shook his head, " Your timing is impeccable headmaster...it was at the stage were it needed to cool to reach it's proper consistency..." Albus chuckled a bit " ahhh yes, seems I do have a knack for getting people at the right time..." Severus merely raised an eyebrow and templed his fingers in thought.
"before we get to anything else professor, I would like to ask if you wish the position for Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Severus wasn't too surprised at this and pretended to really be thinking this over. After a few minutes of silence he spoke rather gravely for the subject. "No Headmaster, The Just for the Defense Against the Dark Arts isn't what I wish to do this year..." Severus didn't need to look at the older man at all. This had been done many times just before the start of the new term. And always Severus had turned the job down. He finished with a soft edge in his voice "Perhaps when I can no longer properly prepare the ingredients for simple potions. Though D.A.T.D.A is another qualification of mine, it isn't my true calling...sir" He added softly and relaxed in the chair a little bit.
Albus stared in to the flames, his own thoughts racing around in his head. He listened to Severus as he did many times before. Severus had never changed the speech he had used to formally reject the job offer. Albus simply stated in a cheery voice " As usually Severus, You turn down the job, yet you let the rest of the faculty and students think that it's that particular job you wait for, ready to pounce on." At this Severus almost choked on his chuckling. "Yes very true Albus, I have my reasons...after all no student should ever be able to get on more friendlier terms with other professors...I believe they should learn not curry favor from the faculty." Albus merely smiled and finally looked at him "You know Severus...you truly are an enigma. I think some of the student body would faint had they the chance to see you like this." Severus snorted " Only some Albus? I think the whole school would be sitting in Poppy's hospital wing waiting to be treated for severe shock." Albus didn't say anything but Severus simply stated in the matter of factly tone "I don't mind being the monster, it makes the students learn, fear has it's uses...if only to open the minds of those who look for the easy way..."
"I agree Severus, if I didn't you would have known about it..." " I know.." was all he said, not once look at Albus, trying desperately to hide the darkening circles under his eyes. This past week was hard on him. Being awoken each night by the one reoccurring dream, the night he coldly murdered the one person who he would have loved...Falaliel...
"Severus?" Albus asked out in concern and suddenly Severus's attention was snapped back to reality " I'm sorry?" " It was nothing Severus, I just asked if you cared for something to drink...perhaps a fine scotch?" Severus merely nodded and a small table with a decanter and two rocks glasses appeared between their chairs. Albus didn't even need to use his wand, the serving set had already been spelled to pour it's self. Noticing that Severus was locked in his own thoughts, they both stared in to the fire for several minutes, he knew Severus would speak when he was ready. It was just a small matter of time.
Severus relaxed more than he meant to. He hadn't any hunger at dinner so the alcohol was fast acting in his bloodstream. It started of with a softly asked question " You remember Falaliel don't you Albus?" replying " You mean Falaliel Abelrard?..Ahh yes I do remember her in fact...sweet girl though we never did the chance to talk that much....why do you ask?" Knocking back the rest of the fiery liquid, Severus told him of the dream that plagued him. He didn't want to say her name too loudly. As if merely him saying it would guide her spirit back to haunt him. Severus Had placed his cup back on to the table and watched as the decanter refilled it for him. It was hard, but Severus felt it needed to be said otherwise the grim alternative was no sleep and an exhausted dull mind when term started.
Dumbledor listened to his friend intently, not once interrupting. He felt this emotional release was much needed on his part, Albus had no idea that Falaleil had followed Severus in to the deatheaters, Nor did her know that it was Severus that had ended her life. When they had found the poor girls body, it had been desecrated. Garbage and other unnamable filth covered her from head to toe. Of course Albus remembered this grisly scene, he was one of the Aurors that had been sent to investigate a potential Deatheater 'Blooding' ceremony. Of course he also remembered that there was a couple of aurors that were deemed 'special operations and suppression' by their badges pinned to their dark vermilion cloaks. They spirited the body away saying they had higher orders an no one stopped them...everyone knew these special aurors weren't to be messed with. None knew the identity of the body, but since it was in others hands it was quickly dismissed. No one asked questions later...Albus could only wonder if that body was Falaliel Abelrard.
The two men drank together, reminisced, and talked way in to the morning Through his drunken haze, Severus head the chimes of the Wizarding clock and noted the time. Forgetting he had set the rocks glass on his knee he bolted up and hurriedly made his excuses. He apologized profusely about the glass and Albus merely smiled and ushered Severus out the door with an offer of walking him back. Severus admandiantly refused and tried his best to walk. Not even filtch would be out this early in the morning Albus watched his friend stagger out the door and down the hallways. Knowing he would be fine, as long as peeves stayed away from Severus.
Walking back to the chair Albus looked at the broken glass and intently studied the reflection of the flames dance on the sharp points. He only smiled and drew out his wand. new glass appeared and the decanter set vanished, along with the table. Albus took the chair Severus occupied, and sat in thought. He couldn't believe that Voldemort had made Severus kill...Only now he understood why Severus would want to turn his ways around...it wasn't easy to kill someone in it's self, but to find out that it was you who had murdered someone you cared for....He narrowed his eyes and knew he would make Voldemort pay dearly.
Dumbledore felt a weight land on his shoulder. "Yes Fawkes, I still am awake..." He turned to the Phoenix and smiled. "Fawkes..time to go to bed is it?" He watched as the bird took to the air ad landed by the door to his bed chambers. "well how can I resist such a comforting idea..." And Albus made his way to bed.
Severus finally made it back to his own chambers, He was grateful for that, He only took his shoes and the long flowing robes off leaving him in the black under suit. He flopped on to his bed, unconscious before he even hit the pillow...that night he dreamed of nothing, thankfully nothing.
=:= Well hope you likes this chapter! Chapter 2 is well on it's way it's on my list of things to do!=:=
::- Again thanks once again to my opinionists, you know who you are. Thanks Please be patient...Other chapters are coming ASAP Life goes on, people change...stories always come on their own! Please be patient with me thank you -::
A time of rememberance
Severus Awoke abruptly trying to beat the dream away with his bare hands. Again it was the same dream he closed his eyes in pain and wiped at his brow with the back of his hand. He shivered at the memory and finally was aware that he was still in his chambers at Hogwarts school. He sighed deeply and glanced over at the crystal time ball. It was early morning for him. Pulling the covers over his chilled skin he rested his arm over his eyes. His thoughts raced around his head like some psychotic out of control pendulum. He shivered uncontrollably for a moment at the thought of his initiation to the DeathEaters. It was so long ago that it seemed almost surreal to him. But the muscles in his hands remembered the weight and the feel of the beautiful,yet foul sword.Sometimes they itched to feel the blade back in his hands. Even his thoughts turned rebellious and forced him to relive the torture of the girl. Voldemort told him she was a mudblood and he believed him The feel of the blade pushing,and tearing her flesh. His ears ringing with that horrid death scream. Quickly he got out of bed and wrapped his dressing robe around him. This was one memory that he hadn't wanted to relive, Other memories were tolerable but this one, this was the one that really destroyed his faith in Voldemort...All because she had wanted to love him. Sighing he quickly showered and dressed, sleep no longer an option nor sitting in his chambers he had to get out.
Sverus roamed the halls trying to blot out the dreams that triggered the locked gate of his memories to break wide open. Today was going to be a long day,but fortunately no students were here to make it far worse. He found himself walking the rather long hall of windows. He stopped at one and gazed out at the moon. It was the same moon from that night. He remembered forcing her to look at it before her life extinguished. He remembered her mouthing her last inaudible prayer. Mudbloods whom had muggles for parents usually had only one icon to put their faith in. He only assumed that was whom she was invoking. He wished savagely that he hadn't been so stupid in his youth. His only redemption he had ever received was her.
'Falaliel...' his voice going deeper with emotion as he gazed at the moon. Imagining her face in the moon, seeing her smile,and hearing her laugh again. Quickly Severus shook his head to do his best to remove himself from such painful memories. 'they do me no good...' He rested both his hands on the open window and stared over the edge.'She is gone...' he whispered barely seeing the wind swaying the trees below, fortunately he felt none of it. The hall of windows was spelled to keep out the natural forces,yet giving the visitor optimal open viewing and comfort to the stars. Quickly turning from the beautiful scenery to stare at the stone floor. He sighed again and decided to occupy his mind so he wouldn't remember. He started back to his dungeons to begin work on Poppy Pomfrey's cure-all potion,to which she had told him she was beginning running low amongst other potions as well but this one was second to the last and he could start the final one after dinner. Smirking to himself he joked about her in his mind ' Poppy's idea of running low is if the beaker is only half empty...' Arriving at the potions classroom he spoke the password 'Obsidian Saturn' and heard the audible click of the lock mechanism open. He entered and stood at the threshold for but a moment. He glanced around and headed to the supply room to get the ingredients and to start the preparation work before he could even start the potion itself.
Albus Dumbledore sat behind his desk sucking thoughtfully on a lemon drop. He wasn't doing much just reading the latest issue of the Daily Prophet. Things were almost the same,except when he found a rather interesting article. 'NEW DEATHEATER BASED CULT ATTACK!' screamed the headline. Albus raised an eyebrow and looked mildly surprised. He read on finding out that this new DeathEater band was a little odd. They had been spotted in the countryside. What was even more puzzling, they seemed to ride transfigured horses and were silent. Those who survived reported that when this band swept down on them, they had no warning at all. The only thing heard was that of the horses charging. It was also reported that these riders didn't speak,not even to issue warnings or orders but knew exactly what to do.
He sighed and sat back in his chair. He reached over and picked up his quill and pulled a piece of parchment from his desk.He began a letter to one of his long time friends and one of his trusted informants. It didn't take long at all he summoned one of his most used owls as it flew through his window and landed before him just as he had sealed the letter with his special seal and wax the owl hooted at him and waited. Albus looked up and smiled. "Ahh yes thank you for coming friend...Are you ready?" The owl hooted and extended his leg as Albus tied the letter to it . The owl feeling the magic from the sealing wax hooted in question and figured out he was going to be polymorphed in a moment to a new form. "I'm sorry but this is delicate work, I have no choice would you prefer the form of a raven?" The owl blinked and hooted. A matter of moments and a puff of gray smoke the new form flapped it's great wings clearing the smoke. The raven cawed at Albus and lighted on his shoulder. Taking him to the window he spoke softly "you know where to go yes?" the raven cawed and took to wing out in the clear predawn sky. 'gods speed...' He thought silently as he watched till the bird could no longer be seen.
Severus Stifled a yawn as he absent mindedly browsed through a potions journal only published a week ago. He couldn't concentrate on the reading for the writer obviously was of the overly dry and very boring type. 'I would think that even Mr.LongBottom could produce a better article than this...And be more interesting by far...' Growing tired of the reading he tossed the journal on to the table and stood. He stretched and heard the ligaments in his shoulders and back snap slightly as they became limber again. He walked over to the cauldron and checked the consistency of the potion. 'not long now...about a half hours more simmering' He couldn't do much more than stand and lean against a nearby table and stare at the flames. He rubbed the stiffness out of his neck and began to walk towards his office.
He sat down heavily in his chair and just stared off in space. He was exhausted from the lack of sleep, and it was showing most annoyingly in his face, that scowling couldn't help cover up. Getting comfortable for a few moments longer before he was to check the potion again and let it cool before he stored it. It gave him more time to think about Falaliel. Gladly the more happier thoughts of her came instead of the dream induced horrors of joining the DeathEaters. He almost smiled as he thought of how they first met. and how they interacted with one another every single day for almost their entire seven years at Hogwarts. Till she introduced him to her parents, that's when it became clear that they had no liking for him and wished that Falaliel had chosen differently. Even her sisters were against him and constantly tormented him when Falaliel wasn't around, But she could read him as if his emotions were worn on his sleeve. How she demanded that her sisters apologize when she found out. The youngest of 4, she quickly learned how to be the toughest one, he loved that about her.
He began to hate them slowly except for her.Nothing good ever happened to him when muggles were involved. He silently made the vow that he would get revenge on muggles that married wizards...Except for her.He kept it all silent from his then best friend and companion. As they reached the final two years, when Voldemort started to form his DeathEaters Falaleil and himself became more than friends, they forged a relationship that was far too strong for her family to break. She trusted him much more than she did her family. The evening of the last day of school they sat together holding hands gazing at the stars. Severus smiled at her and kissed her. "I love you Falaleil..." he whispered in her ear and smiled when she rested against him. He warmly put his arms around her and heard her sigh as she held his hand " I love you too SeverusMy Slytherin love."
"The chuckle that reverberated from his chest at this. Who would have ever thought that a Slytherin and a Gryffindor could find and make a lasting relationship?" he whispered the empty room. Again he sighed and stood up he checked the potion and found it was the right time to extinguish the flame and let it cool to it's usable color. He checked the small portable crystal time ball he carried with him it was Breakfast in the great hall and he felt ready for some human presence, instead of the comfortable loneliness he was used to. He walked the way leaving the everything as it was.
Minerva Mcgonagall sat at the table and looked at her breakfast. Today was just another day. But what worried her was the fact that Dumbledor had showed her the article in the Daily Prophet. A new kind of DeathEaters were forming? She was hardly believing what was stated there. Of course she had spoken privately with Albus about if there had been something more deeper to this matter. Not even he could say. And that was bothering her more than the threat of a new breed of DeathEater. Of course her being his head deputy at Hogwarts, it entitled her information that wasn't normally passed around in the first go. She felt someone one sit next to her and it brought her back from her thoughts. She looked over and was surprised to Severus. He glanced over at her and gave her a nod in greeting. Usually it was rare to see him here for breakfast, he usually had it in his chambers...but then she remembered that there were no students here yet to wear his nerves down. It simply amazed Minerva that he was so different when students were around than when they weren't. He was almost sociable "Good morning Severus..." She spoke softly, weighing her words carefully with him. She almost dropped her goblet when he replied. "good morning to you as well Minerva." She looked at him for a moment to recover from her shock. He was looking at her, his jet black eyes fixed on her with a raised eyebrow. His smooth voice once again cutting in to her senses "Is something wrong Minerva?" he asked and she shook her head quickly "n-no Severus...Just that I wasn't expecting you to answer...is..all" She bowed her head and blushed lightly.
Severus wasn't expecting that at all. He knew when his nerves were overtaxed,that it made him in to a complete ill tempered dragon. But her reaction to him being so social had taken her by surprise. He hadn't wanted her to feel as if he was a monster all the time. He did something rather rare and placed his long tapered fingered hand lightly on hers to make her look at him. Needlessly to say that it worked. The shock she couldn't hide as she sputtered "S-Severus" Before she could make herself out to be the fool Severus quickly whispered to her "Minerva, I'm not usually a cold monster, it's complicated for me to tell you but I'm not the anti social hermit of a potions master either. I just don't respond well to acts of kindness,and children." And he leaned back in his chair. About to remove his hand from it's current resting place, another act that he wasn't familiar with that caught him by surprise, Minerva had turned her palm up and wrapped her fingers around his hand and squeezed gently in acknowledgment of what he had said and released his hand. All he could think of was 'her hand is warm...'
Albus seen briefly the connection between his colleagues and tried not to smile. Though Severus was seeming to be a bit more relaxed at the moment. He knew that would change once term started. Severus didn't care too much for being surrounded by students for a term. What made it even more apparent that he chose to be so demanding and cruel, but Albus knew the reason why. Why Severus was a perfectionist to heart when it came to teaching potions. He reminded himself that he needed to meet with Severus before the term started. Naturally Albus knew the outcome already, but he wanted to make sure there were no snarls that would make one of his colleagues uncomfortable or angry. He turned to his breakfast and began to eat heartily, engaging in a conversation with madam hooch on the topic of this seasons Qudditch teams.
The rest of day had gone reasonably calm. Nothing too eventful happened other than Mrs.Norris snooping around the open door to his classroom and leaping up on to the rim of the cauldron to peer inside to see if the contents were edible. Mrs. Norris had taken a liking for chewing on Severus's supply of wormwood. Last time he almost cast the petrifaction spell on her when she decided to raid the supply cupboard. He wanted to make sure the cat wasn't just curious because she had never been in the classroom or what. But he soon found out the answer. Silently walking up behind Mrs. Norris who had just taken a sizable chunk of the wormwood he had just prepared and spoke in his coldest, student frightening voice "So Mrs.NorrisYou like chewing on my supply of wormwood is it?" The cat spun around and arched her back in reflex and hissed, dropping the wormwood in to the cauldron. Severus barely had time to widen his eyes in fear as the explosion rocked the classroom. He was about to do his best to protect himself from the hot adulterated potion . He moved to sweep his robes around himself and felt the cat leap in to his arms and her claws sink in to his chest.The force of the explosion had knocked Severus to the floor rendering him unconscious for a few minutes. Mrs.Norris took this perfect opportunity to make her escape, knowing all too well she would be punished by Severus if he caught her. Before she left she couldn't resist, she leapt up again on the work table and snatched another chunk of wormwood and ran out the door.
He opened his eyes slowly. He tried to remember how he had fallen. His chest felt as if the skin had been ripped to shreds. Severus sat up slowly and looked around, He narrowed his eyes at the still steaming cauldron and the memory of catching Filtch's cat stealing his wormwood. "That BLASTED cat..." he snarled and stood up looking at the damage. He took out his wand from it's place from the sleeve of his robe and cleaned up most of the potion. Fortunately it wasn't anything that was harmful while still in it's preparation stage. He sighed and silently vowed that if he even seen Mrs.Noris the cat was going to find herself dunked in the lake,or nearest bucket of ice water. He sighed and started all over. He gathered fresh ingredients so as not to contaminate the potion with cat hair.
What seemed several hours later he could finally look over to the bubbling cauldron to check the consistency of this potion. Again he was tempted to read the Potions journal, but decided against it, he hadn't wanted to fall asleep while brewing this potion, otherwise he'd have to start all over yet again. So he sat in his chair and pondered some more.forgotten book sat in his lap he stared blankly on to it's hand written pages but nothing registered in his brain about the contents. as he sat there his mind far away he hadn't heard the little fledgling owl hoot at him from the crown of his chair.
The little owl hopped up and down a little annoyed that she wasn't being paid attention to. When she suddenly hopped on to his shoulder and nipped lightly on his ear lobe. Severus turned his tunnel like eyes and furrowed his brow for a moment before he realized that it was a messenger owl. He blinked and answered in a soft apologetic tone "I'm sorry little one..." The owl only nipped his ear again in affection and extended her leg for him to untie the neatly rolled tube of parchment. He did so and a faint smile spread across his face. This was one of the newer hatchlings who hadn't yet been taught that he was the mean one. He conjured up a small bar of chocolate and broke it to pieces. This owl had always been sent to Him by Dumbledor and she had taken to him as if they had been meant to find each other. Severus always found it amusing that any intelligent living creature could love him so unabashedly. He smiled and spoke again "thank you little one, perhaps one day someone will give you a name...had you been mine i most certainly would have called you..." He stopped for a moment and smiled as the little owl rubbed her soft feathers against his cheek, urging him to finish "I would have called you glain" Again the owl hopped up and down on his shoulder in agreement. Quickly he thanked her and before she left he offered her a bit of the chocolate "would you like some?" as he offered the morsel . She stretched her wings and folded them and bent forward, daintily taking the morsel of chocolate and ate it just as daintily. "While you are enjoying that let me read your message.." He recognized the ornate hand writing immediately as Albus's.
"Dear Severus, I didn't see you at dinner this evening, everything alright? I sincerely hope so, if you please, will you meet with me at your convienice in my chambers?
Albus"
Quickly he turned over the parchment and wrote his reply
"Albus, Of course I'll join you in half hours time.
-Severus"
The little owl finished her snack and hooted softly to him and hopped down to the table as rolled the parchment up again. She extended her leg again so he could attach t with the thin piece of leather magicked to tie it's self to the howls comfort. Again she hooted and he tenderly stroked the soft feathers and she nipped his fingers in affection "thank you again little one.." And she took to wing leaving his office the same way she entered. Checking the potion he was quite surprised at Dumbledor's timing. The potion was at the stage where it now needed to cool to reach it's proper color and consistency. Rubbing his eyes he luxuriously stretched and took his wand from his sleeve and extinguished the flames. He checked to see that nothing else needed to be cleaned up or stoppered or to be put away. He nodded as he took a finally look around, everything was in order to his satisfaction.
He removed his heavier, outdoor shoes and replaced them with lighter black cloth and soft deer hide soles indoor shoes. He grimaced once at the memory of when a cauldron foot was set on his large toe. Nearly breaking it while he wore indoor shoes. Fortunately for him he was still going to hogwarts when the incident happened. as he finished he decided to walk to Albus's chambers, he felt the tightness in his leg muscles and wanted to stretch them a bit and the walk was just the thing. He shrugged off the canvas work robes and put on his everyday robe he walked out the door, his locking wards falling in to place, he checked them to make sure the door was locked out of sheer habit and walked down the corridor. He walked through the Slytherin part of the school and soon found himself taking the long way, again through the hall of windows. It would be far too pointless to stop and go another way so he trudged on, taking his time to look at the beautiful evening sky, just minutes after the sun had set. He winced as he realized that he was so engrossed in his work that he hadn't even taken a break from it till now.
Quickly he made his way to Dumbledor's chambers, passing no one on the way. He tapped on the heavy,carved oakwood door and waited to be admitted. In a matter of second he was, The door opened by it's self and Severus quickly entered. "Good evening, Professor," Dumbledor spoke warmly without looking at him. Severus looked puzzled for a moment, and he realized that Dumbledor wanted to get school matters out of the way first before the pleasantries. "good evening Headmaster" Severus said smoothly and walked towards the fire. He waited as Albus ushered him to the chair next to him and waited till he got comfortable. "I hope I have not torn you away at a critical moment, professor..." Albus looked at him with a slightly raised eyebrow and Severus merely shook his head, " Your timing is impeccable headmaster...it was at the stage were it needed to cool to reach it's proper consistency..." Albus chuckled a bit " ahhh yes, seems I do have a knack for getting people at the right time..." Severus merely raised an eyebrow and templed his fingers in thought.
"before we get to anything else professor, I would like to ask if you wish the position for Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Severus wasn't too surprised at this and pretended to really be thinking this over. After a few minutes of silence he spoke rather gravely for the subject. "No Headmaster, The Just for the Defense Against the Dark Arts isn't what I wish to do this year..." Severus didn't need to look at the older man at all. This had been done many times just before the start of the new term. And always Severus had turned the job down. He finished with a soft edge in his voice "Perhaps when I can no longer properly prepare the ingredients for simple potions. Though D.A.T.D.A is another qualification of mine, it isn't my true calling...sir" He added softly and relaxed in the chair a little bit.
Albus stared in to the flames, his own thoughts racing around in his head. He listened to Severus as he did many times before. Severus had never changed the speech he had used to formally reject the job offer. Albus simply stated in a cheery voice " As usually Severus, You turn down the job, yet you let the rest of the faculty and students think that it's that particular job you wait for, ready to pounce on." At this Severus almost choked on his chuckling. "Yes very true Albus, I have my reasons...after all no student should ever be able to get on more friendlier terms with other professors...I believe they should learn not curry favor from the faculty." Albus merely smiled and finally looked at him "You know Severus...you truly are an enigma. I think some of the student body would faint had they the chance to see you like this." Severus snorted " Only some Albus? I think the whole school would be sitting in Poppy's hospital wing waiting to be treated for severe shock." Albus didn't say anything but Severus simply stated in the matter of factly tone "I don't mind being the monster, it makes the students learn, fear has it's uses...if only to open the minds of those who look for the easy way..."
"I agree Severus, if I didn't you would have known about it..." " I know.." was all he said, not once look at Albus, trying desperately to hide the darkening circles under his eyes. This past week was hard on him. Being awoken each night by the one reoccurring dream, the night he coldly murdered the one person who he would have loved...Falaliel...
"Severus?" Albus asked out in concern and suddenly Severus's attention was snapped back to reality " I'm sorry?" " It was nothing Severus, I just asked if you cared for something to drink...perhaps a fine scotch?" Severus merely nodded and a small table with a decanter and two rocks glasses appeared between their chairs. Albus didn't even need to use his wand, the serving set had already been spelled to pour it's self. Noticing that Severus was locked in his own thoughts, they both stared in to the fire for several minutes, he knew Severus would speak when he was ready. It was just a small matter of time.
Severus relaxed more than he meant to. He hadn't any hunger at dinner so the alcohol was fast acting in his bloodstream. It started of with a softly asked question " You remember Falaliel don't you Albus?" replying " You mean Falaliel Abelrard?..Ahh yes I do remember her in fact...sweet girl though we never did the chance to talk that much....why do you ask?" Knocking back the rest of the fiery liquid, Severus told him of the dream that plagued him. He didn't want to say her name too loudly. As if merely him saying it would guide her spirit back to haunt him. Severus Had placed his cup back on to the table and watched as the decanter refilled it for him. It was hard, but Severus felt it needed to be said otherwise the grim alternative was no sleep and an exhausted dull mind when term started.
Dumbledor listened to his friend intently, not once interrupting. He felt this emotional release was much needed on his part, Albus had no idea that Falaleil had followed Severus in to the deatheaters, Nor did her know that it was Severus that had ended her life. When they had found the poor girls body, it had been desecrated. Garbage and other unnamable filth covered her from head to toe. Of course Albus remembered this grisly scene, he was one of the Aurors that had been sent to investigate a potential Deatheater 'Blooding' ceremony. Of course he also remembered that there was a couple of aurors that were deemed 'special operations and suppression' by their badges pinned to their dark vermilion cloaks. They spirited the body away saying they had higher orders an no one stopped them...everyone knew these special aurors weren't to be messed with. None knew the identity of the body, but since it was in others hands it was quickly dismissed. No one asked questions later...Albus could only wonder if that body was Falaliel Abelrard.
The two men drank together, reminisced, and talked way in to the morning Through his drunken haze, Severus head the chimes of the Wizarding clock and noted the time. Forgetting he had set the rocks glass on his knee he bolted up and hurriedly made his excuses. He apologized profusely about the glass and Albus merely smiled and ushered Severus out the door with an offer of walking him back. Severus admandiantly refused and tried his best to walk. Not even filtch would be out this early in the morning Albus watched his friend stagger out the door and down the hallways. Knowing he would be fine, as long as peeves stayed away from Severus.
Walking back to the chair Albus looked at the broken glass and intently studied the reflection of the flames dance on the sharp points. He only smiled and drew out his wand. new glass appeared and the decanter set vanished, along with the table. Albus took the chair Severus occupied, and sat in thought. He couldn't believe that Voldemort had made Severus kill...Only now he understood why Severus would want to turn his ways around...it wasn't easy to kill someone in it's self, but to find out that it was you who had murdered someone you cared for....He narrowed his eyes and knew he would make Voldemort pay dearly.
Dumbledore felt a weight land on his shoulder. "Yes Fawkes, I still am awake..." He turned to the Phoenix and smiled. "Fawkes..time to go to bed is it?" He watched as the bird took to the air ad landed by the door to his bed chambers. "well how can I resist such a comforting idea..." And Albus made his way to bed.
Severus finally made it back to his own chambers, He was grateful for that, He only took his shoes and the long flowing robes off leaving him in the black under suit. He flopped on to his bed, unconscious before he even hit the pillow...that night he dreamed of nothing, thankfully nothing.
=:= Well hope you likes this chapter! Chapter 2 is well on it's way it's on my list of things to do!=:=