11. THE SECOND GIFT
Claire sat at her desk and sighed in desperation. Never in the 18 years she had been involved in the Winterstorm businesses had there been such a mess in her bookkeeping and her papers. She had always prided herself in her discipline, but lately there had been so many better things to do than sign contracts and proof-read manuscripts - something she did sporadically, because she wanted to have an eye on what Winterstorm Publishing produced. Still, sitting in the sun and watching Sirius and Harry play Quidditch, or try on robes with Serene or discuss the Muggle world with Laurel, was so much better. Somehow the pile on her desk had grown into a mountain of parchment scrolls, and she had to at least mail off some of the manuscripts or the books wouldn't be in the stores in time for the beginning of the next term.
Bravely she worked her way from the highest layer down, until she reached the desk. Now all she had to do was sort the drawers and prepare the parcels for the noon-owls. In the drawer she found mostly bills, a flyer she had picked up at the fair, and a pile of parchment sheets, covered in minuscule handwriting. Frowning she studied the first page, and recognised Sirius' stories. She smiled. He still told her stories, and - another thing she'd have to admit to him sooner or later - she still had the quill write down every word. Digging in the second drawer she found the collection of stories she had gathered over the course of the last weeks. Carefully she smoothed the parchment, and pondered where to store it so Sirius would not stumble over it before she told him. Eventually she wrapped and sealed it, wrote 'S. PADFOOT' and 'Prisoner syndrome?' as a cross reference on the envelope and put it on a shelf where she kept her quills and seal-wax.
When the door opened she jumped guiltily.
"Sirius!"
He frowned. "Did I scare you?"
She sat down at the now considerably less cluttered desk. "I just forgot the time with all the paperwork."
"Remus sent me an owl. They'll arrive in fifteen minutes. The fireplace in your office is the only one connected to the Floo-network, is that right?"
"Yes, my father used it to get to the stores. When it became obvious that I could not travel by Floo, he had all the fireplaces closed but this one."
Sirius stepped behind her and started to rub her neck with soft, circular strokes. For a moment Claire closed her eyes, then she relaxed, almost melted under his touch. How had she lived without him? All the little things … The laughter. The sensations. The very presence of him.
"Sirius," she said softly. "There is something we need to talk about."
He kept stroking, caressing, let his hands wander to her cleavage. His silky mane brushed her face when he bent over her and kissed her temple.
"I promise not to let Harry fly the motorcycle without me."
"That's not what I meant. Although I'd rather you didn't ride that terrible thing either."
"Well, if it is not about the motorcycle - what is so important then?"
Claire reached for his hand and held it, while she searched for the right words.
"Serene had a vision. A vision about you in Azkaban."
Sirius laughed, a low amused laughter, that would have pleased Claire at any other time. But now she wanted him to take her seriously.
"She saw you imprisoned in Azkaban! We have to talk to Headmaster Dumbledore about it, I think, and find a way to not let it happen."
"I don't give a damn about Serene and her visions, baby. You should know that by now."
"Laurel said that Serene's vision about Severus was dead right."
He stepped around her and sat on the desk, so he could see her face. Taking her hands and putting them on his knees, he said emphatically, "Claire, I don't believe in divinations. Remember, my mother was a clairvoyant or at least she claimed to be one. But if she'd really foreseen my father's death, it wouldn't have taken her by surprise so much when it happened. So whatever Serene thinks she saw, it was just an illusion. And probably born out of her disdain for me."
"Sirius …"
"No, listen to me now. Don't let her frighten you. It is just make- believe."
Claire sighed and let her head rest on his thigh while he stroked her hair. "But she could describe it in detail. What it looked like, what you wore …"
Sirius gently pushed back her chair and got up. Wandering to the window, he stared out into the garden, where the elves were busy setting up tables and chairs. They had sent Harry to Hogwarts to deliver a robe of Claire's to Serene, an errand that should keep him away from the Manor for long enough to prepare a birthday party. Hagrid had been invited, and Remus would bring three more guests.
"Claire, I know that Serene was wrong," he sighed eventually.
Claire stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him from behind, rubbing her cheek against his back. "How can you know that?"
"Because there is no way they'll take me back to Azkaban alive."
She tensed in shock. "You don't …"
"I'd rather die than go back there. You don't know how it is, Claire. It is the worst place you can imagine. No living being should be convicted to this icy hell. So next time they won't get me alive."
A deep rumbling sound in the fireplace made them turn, both shaky with emotion. Claire grasped Sirius' hand, not sure whether she needed support or wanted to support him.
"That must be Remus." Sirius voice betrayed his inner tension. "I am sorry I spoiled this sunny morning with my .."
"Don't!" She turned to him, almost violently. Her eyes flared up. "Don't you dare to apologise for sharing your feelings with me!"
For a moment they remained like this, Claire like lightning, Sirius like rain. Then he drew her in his embrace, kissed her face, her lips, in desperate need of her affection.
Claire answered his kisses, shyly at first, but then opening to the intensity of his tongue that explored her mouth. This was not just a kiss, she thought with the last bit of reason she could muster, this was a wordless plea.
Suddenly she felt Sirius tense. The moment shattered.
When she came up for air, she almost jumped. Green flames blazed in the fireplace, and right in the centre she saw four people, who only seconds later stumbled out into the office. Remus coughed and brushed soot off his sleeves.
"You really need to get this fireplace cleaned," he frowned. "Or else you want have too many visitors, I am afraid."
"I am so sorry!" Claire passed him a handkerchief. "It hasn't been in use since my father died two years ago."
Remus wiped his face clean. "I was only joking, Claire. Now here I bring you the three visitors you requested." He introduced her to a red-haired boy and a girl she remembered from Sirius' Animagus class. "Ron and Hermione, they are both with Harry in Gryffindor. And this," he pushed forward a smaller, red-haired girl, "is Virginia, Ron's sister." The family likeness could not be denied. "I tried to get hold of the Longbottom boy, but he went to Bath with his grand-uncle."
"Well," Claire beamed at them. "It is great you all could come. Just feel at home. Harry won't be here for another hour, so why don't you let Peagreen show you your rooms and the house, before the party starts?"
Hermione, uncharacteristically tongue-tied, gaped at her.
"It is you!" she breathed eventually.
"Indeed, Miss Granger," Sirius said dryly. "It is her."
"No … I mean …", Hermione stuttered. "This is Claire Winterstorm, the owner of Winterstorm Inc.!"
"Yes?"
"But Professor, don't you know she has been named 'Business Witch of the Year' twice? She was on the cover of 'Galleons and Knuts' only this January!"
"Is that so?" Sirius smiled at Claire who had blushed and resembled a beetroot right now. "So I married a celebrity?"
"Oh rubbish," Claire murmured.
"You published 'Brianna Smith's Diary'! It was hilarious, I gave it to my mum who is a Muggle and even she liked it!
"You girls can discuss books later," decided Remus and ushered them all out of the office. "Right now lets get this birthday party going."
* * *
After blowing out sixteen candles on a gigantic high-towering cake, listening to a slightly off-tune version of 'Happy Birthday' and unwrapping the presents from his friends, even Harry had to agree that birthdays could be good. In fact this one was great, he decided, when he turned his attention to the last parcel, which stood on a side table, wrapped in plain brown paper.
Remus and Sirius smirked when he tore the wrapping off and found a heavy earthenware bowl the size of a large tureen. Harry frowned.
"Is this what I think it is?" he asked.
Remus nodded. "A pensieve, yes. The smallest we could find."
"What is a pensieve?" piped Ginny.
"You can keep your memories in it," explained Harry and eyed the silvery surface of the bowl.
"Like … in a diary?"
"More so," said Remus, patient as always. "You literally extract your memories out of your brain and into the pensieve. And in a quiet hour you can take your time and look at them."
Ginny stared at the pensieve. "This is …. memories? It looks like quicksilver," she said.
"Harry knows how it works, don't you?" Sirius laid a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Remus and I thought we wanted to give you a memory of your parents. Mine is of your father winning the house cup for Gryffindor in our sixth year."
"Mine is of Lily, telling us she was expecting a baby." Remus' voice trembled ever so lightly, and to Claire's great surprise Serene stepped behind him and slipped her hand into his for a moment, until he had regained his calm.
"Why don't we all go for a walk in the park, while Harry tries out his present," Claire suggested cheerily. "And when you are done, Harry, I really think you should come and explain the offside rule to me."
Sirius knew that Quidditch rules were a perpetual inside-joke between his godson and his wife, and saw with relief how Harry smiled. Giving a sixteen year old boy a memory of his long dead parents was not something he and Remus had done easily. First, he would miss the memory of James making that one final pass. Second, they did not know how Harry would react. But then again, the boy had a family and friends who would catch him if he crumbled.
"Take your time," he said softly to Harry. "They are your memories now."
Sirius sat down in the grass next to Remus, sighing contentedly, a mug of Butterbeer in his hand, and enjoyed the sunset.
"Ah Moony, have we ever been like them? So … carefree? So young?".
His friend shrugged.
"I can't remember. But Harry is not carefree most of the times. You know that as well as I do. He carries that black cloud of doom wherever he goes, and as hard as he tries to be a normal teenager, as long as Voldemort exists, days like today will be an exception for him."
"Claire did a great job," Sirius smiled and raised his mug in greeting when Ron and Hagrid soared over their heads on their brooms. Serene, Ginny and Hermione sat on garden chairs next to the cake table, Serene conjuring minuscule models of great robes she wished one could by at Gladrags. Everybody seemed to have a good time. "She is so unaware of it, but she attracts all the loners, all the strays, and makes them feel welcome." He set the mug aside and crossed his arms behind his head.
"Are you happy, Padfoot?" Remus asked softly, looking intently at Sirius.
Sirius turned his head and the expression on his face took his friend by surprise. Desperate desire, almost palpable need …
"This is all I ever wanted," Sirius admitted, and Remus could see it cost him dearly. "A wife, a child. A family of my own." He watched Harry and Claire laughing, Harry using two spoons to demonstrate the Tcherkessow defence, and Claire shaking her head in mirth. "I wish they were mine."
Remus sighed in emphaty. He had seen it coming, had watched his friend lose his heart step by step. "Harry may not be your child but he is your god- son. And with Claire it won't need more than a word from you to make her truly yours," he suggested. "She is in love with you, even a blind wizard can see that."
Sirius froze. "Claire needs freedom," he said stiffly. "She grew up in a prison, Remus, and all she does - this marriage, the mission - serves only one goal. To be free. How could I tie her to me?"
"So she wants to be free and you want to be loved?" Remus' face did not show the deep pain he felt. "Welcome to the club, my friend."
He got up and wiped grass and brushed off his robes. "I'll get me another of these strawberry cakes. Want one?"
Sirius smirked. "You are only looking for an excuse to talk to Serene. Remus, she really isn't good for you. I have never seen you as unhappy as you are now. Find another girl, and forget about her."
Lupin raised an eyebrow, but swallowed his initial reaction and just shook his head.
"I want to talk to her. I need to. We'll probably start fighting before I finish my first sentence but if I don't hear her voice …"
"But that's ridiculous, Remus! She is just a witch. She's pretty, I give you that. But obviously she is completely out of her mind."
"Get lost, Black." Remus' voice shook and Sirius winced when he recognised he had said too much. "I only hope Claire breaks your heart, so you get an idea of what you are talking about."
"Moony, I am sorry."
Lupin only shrugged and left. Sirius hugged his knees and let his head sink rest on them. Remus was so smart, knew so much about the human condition - why didn't he see that Serene was not interested in what he had to offer?
Claire wandered over the lawn to the shadowy spot where Sirius sat. Suddenly daring, she kneeled down and caressed his bare neck.
"What's wrong with Lupin?"
Sirius almost purred with pleasure when she started to massage his shoulders. "Serene is what's wrong. He got it in his stubborn head that he is in love with her, and so he suffers whenever she kicks him. Which she seems to do whenever he gets close."
Claire peaked over to the cake-table where Remus and Serene stood, talking without looking at each other. "You are too hard on Serene. She hurts him, that's true, but I can see she suffers as well. I think she really loves him, but for some reason she tries to scare him away. And since he doesn't budge, she keeps hurting him."
"Well, I think she is a conceited cruel bitch who takes great pleasure in yanking Remus' chain."
Claire's hands ceased their movements.
"Sirius!" she scolded. "She is not a bitch and she is not … She may appear cruel, but she loves him. I just know it."
He turned his head so he could see her face.
"And what would you know about love, Claire?" he asked softy.
The very moment he heard his words and saw the hurt in her eyes, he desperately wished he could take it back. And yet, he felt so confused about his own emotions … He needed to reassure himself that this marriage was a safe arrangement, one that would not endanger the defences he had built up over the years. He needed to know that it was friendship, nothing else, that bound him to Claire and that he would be able to leave her when the mission was over, without his or her heart breaking …
"What do I know about love?" she repeated his question. "What would you say if I told you that I love you, Sirius?"
He paled. For a moment his heart ceased to beat and when it came alive again, it raced so fast he could hear it thunder in his ears.
"I told you not to."
"Love isn't anything you can permit or forbid."
"It is just imagination, Claire." He cupped her chin and made her look at him. What he had dreaded, was there. She really fancied herself in love with him.
"Claire, don't you see that this is just a natural reaction? You are not used to male company, and we spend so much time together. We go through dangerous situations together, we share a bed. No wonder, you confuse comradeship with love."
She held her head very straight, a posture that reminded him very much of the little Hufflepuff girl who had made him feel like a complete fool whenever he teased her. "I am not your comrade," she said with dignity.
"Baby, I am the first wizard you ever kissed. The first you ever had sex with. You've never had a chance to compare."
Claire's eyes flashed with anger when she got up from her knees very abruptly. Without another word to Sirius she strode over the lawn, her fists clenched, her blue robe billowing.
When she reached Remus and Serene, she grabbed the wizard at the shoulders, turned him around so he faced her and kissed him right on the lips. The kiss was … pleasant. Remus' lips were warm and soft, but she did not feel the blood rushing in her ears like with Sirius. Her heartbeat was steady and calm. Almost disappointed she stepped back, and blushed violently when she saw the confusion in Remus' eyes.
"What … what was that for?"
Claire stammered an apology, but a side glance at Serene's furious face made her voice falter. If she'd needed proof that Serene felt something for Remus - now here it was. The red-haired witch stared at her as if she'd transform her into a toad any minute.
"Nothing. Forget it," she whispered and almost ran back to Sirius, who also stared at her with an expression she could not read.
"Well, I kissed another man, "she snapped. "I can compare kisses now. His was nice. Yours are better."
A sudden thunder in the air interrupted her. A lightning bolt criss-crossed the sky. Within minutes a summer storm broke loose, propelling napkins, leaves and one of Claire's books over the lawn. The elves hunted the book down, and saved the cake, but when warm rain started to pour down they gathered in the safety of the doorway and let napkins be napkins.
"Kids, forget about the chairs and pillows!" Claire ushered Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione inside, out of the thriving rain. "They are soaking wet already. Up you go and get dry! Coco will be delighted to fix you some hot chocolate and cookies."
Hagrid, who had been saving the motorcycle together with Sirius, moved carefully through the door, his hair and beard dripping all over the carpet. Claire urged him to take off the wet coat. "There is no way I'll let you fly home in this weather," she declared.
"I guess I'll sleep quite well on you living room floor," Hagrid boomed.
"Ygor's bed is still in the chamber behind the kitchen, it is," interfered Peagreen and beamed up at the huge wizard. "He is very big like you Mr. Rubeus."
"And if it doesn't fit, there is always magic." Sirius had made it into the house as the last of the party and closed the door behind him. He shook his head and the water from his hair sprayed everybody.
"Ah Padfoot, quit!" Remus scolded grinning. "Down boy!"
Sirius laughed, glad his friend was not angry anymore, and bared his teeth, before he went upstairs after the kids to make sure the windows in the office were shut.
Claire smiled when she saw the tiny Peagreen lead Hagrid to Ygor's chamber, and turned to Remus and Serene, who was wringing her wet mane, shivering with cold. It startled her when she saw the raw longing in Remus' eyes, looking at Serene. When he felt that Claire watched him, his face went blank and kind as always.
She cleared her throat and addressed Serene, suddenly too shy to look at Lupin.
"How about you and Remus? Care to share a room?"
Claire winced and clasped a hand over her mouth. Why had she just said that? Serene's eyes flared up in anger and when she stormed up the stairs. Remus' eyes followed her unhappily.
"That was uncalled for," he said softly.
"Sorry. I am sorry," Claire sighed. "Of course there are enough rooms for everybody. Just pick one and the elves will provide you with a fire and towels and linen or whatever you need."
He just nodded and went upstairs.
Claire could have slapped herself. How could she have said something like that? Then again … a night of passion might be just what these two stubborn ignorants needed … Too bad she could not think of any way to lock them into a room and not let them out until the deed was done. Laurel had told her about how Dumbledore had hexed her and Severus into a chamber into the tower to make them understand they needed each other. Physically, yes, but hadn't it been like that with her and Sirius, too? She had learned to trust him with her body, and then she had begun to trust him with her heart …
Her hand clasped the small crystal trinket she always wore. She'd go upstairs and find Sirius and make sure the trinket was visible. Very visible. Making sure the elves would not make another attempt to bring in furniture or plates, she turned off the magical light in the living room and opened her braid, so her hair fell in damp ringlets down her back.
She paused on the first step. And then, calmer than she'd ever thought she'd be in this situation, she took off the chain and slipped into her pocket.
She found Sirius in the bathroom where he dried his hair with a towel, another one wrapped dangerously low around his narrow hips. When he met Claire's eyes in the mirror, he gave her a big grin.
"Good to know that I am not the only one who wishes they'd bitten their tongue off before they talked to Moony. I overheard …"
The grin died with the words, and he turned around, dropping the towel he had used on his head.
Claire stood there, open hair flowing down her back, face flushed with nervousness. She licked her upper lip with a quick flick of her tongue that did more to him than any bold touch.
"I want you."
Her voice was so soft he thought he had misheard her. His breath hitched in his throat when he watched her opening the fastening of her robe and letting the soft material slide to the bathroom floor.
"I want you to … do the things you do."
"Things?"
He had gone all serious.
She sighed. This was not easy. "I want you to kiss me all over. To hold me so close that I feel I am melding with you." The thin shift followed the robe. "I want your hands on me … and you in me."
Naked, she closed the distance between them and took in the pleased surprise in his eyes - and the reaction her words had caused. To know she could do that to him, could make him hard with so little, filled her with joy and gratitude and self-assurance.
Her finger drew a line down his chest, very carefully, almost painfully slow, and lower across his stomach until it reached the towel.
"But first," her breath got faster, "I want you to do nothing."
Sirius cleared his throat when her finger hooked into the towel and loosened it inch by inch.
"Nothing?"
She smiled, her mouth only a heartbeat away from his.
"Nothing."
Claire took her time. She had never really looked at him when he was naked. Of course she had touched him … there. But under the covers, not like now. Sirius moaned softly when she let a finger slide down his erection, and gasped in surprise when she wrapped her hand around him.
"Did I hurt you?" She let go immediately. "Did I do anything wrong?"
"Merlin, no. You are doing fine … just fine." He blinked when she took up her caresses again. "Just fine. Perfect."
Claire trailed kisses down his chin, his throat, and never let go off him.
"Sirius, your knees are shaking!" she chuckled. "Want to lay down?"
He groaned, a sound of surrender.
She moved him with little pushes against his back out of the bathroom, into the bedroom. But when he meant to get onto the bed, she shook her head.
"The floor?"
"In front of the fire, if you please."
He felt … vulnerable, laying there, hard and throbbing for her touch, and his oh so shy wife kneeling next to him, studying his body like a piece of fine art.
Then her mouth started to nibble at his collarbone, at the flat taunt stomach, and lower, until he clenched his fists into the carpet.
"Is this really what you want?" he managed, the blood roaring in his ears. "To let me alone in this?"
"No," she gasped and ceased her nibbling immediately. "No."
Sliding her body over his like a soft silky sheet, she remained still for a moment. Then, rising and straddling him at the same time, she slowly took him into her. Sirius groaned. She was ready for him, wet and warm and welcoming.
"Tell me how it feels," he demanded, his throat rough like shark skin.
"As if something had been missing. And is now being replaced," she gasped. "As if I'd been alone and empty all my life, and now I was whole."
He still lay there, letting her set the pace, although it became harder and harder to control the urge to move
"And it feels like words can never be enough."
Claire bowed down, cupping his face with both hands, and kissed him deeply, letting him feel what it really felt like.
Satisfied she was experiencing the same pleasure he felt, Sirius took over, his hands trailing down her sides, cupping her breasts, stroking her hard nipples, until she closed her eyes in helpless exultation.
He began to move, gliding in and out of her, stretching, pushing deeper with each stroke. He tilted her hips so he could thrust even deeper, as if he wanted to become one with her.
Claire lost herself in the hard thrusts of his body, in the fiery heat that rose and engulfed all of her. She threw her head back, riding faster, her fingers entwined with his.
With a low growl he rolled them over so he topped her, and his rhythm got faster, harder, his body beyond any pretence of control.
Right then, for the fraction of a moment before her body took over and all rational thought surrendered to absolute bliss, Claire knew she loved him. And would do anything to make him love her, too.
Then the world shattered and they both became one heartbeat.
Later Sirius propped his head on the pillow and looked at her with an expression she had never seen before. Wonderment.
She liked that look.
"If you ever came to me … like you just did, he pressed a kiss onto her temple and sighed contentedly when she slipped into her favourite position, head in the crook of his shoulder, half wrapped around him. "I promised to grant you a wish, if you ever found the courage to tell me you wanted me."
"A wish?"
"Whatever you want."
"You are taking a serious risk with that, you know? What if I wanted you to jump off the North Tower?"
He chuckled. "I'd jump. Then I'd be dead and you'd be all alone in your big four-poster and you'd be sorry."
"Would I?"
His hand slipped in between their bodies, teasing, demanding and delivering at the same time.
Claire moaned softly. "Alright, I'd miss you. I … would miss you … very much."
"So you better think it over before you call in my debt." He grinned satisfied, utterly relaxed and at ease.
Claire tensed for a moment, her mouth pressed again his neck, her breath coming in great ragged gasps.
"I will. I promise, I will."
When her heartbeat had calmed to its normal pace, Sirius' finger trailed her forehead.
"Promise me one more thing."
"Oh Sirius, not again. I can't promise I won't fall in love with you." She hid her face in his dark hair. "I am afraid it is too late for that."
Sirius sighed and stared into the darkness of the bedroom. What was he to do? How had he diverted the feelings of all those girls in school he had dated but had never been really interested in? Sooner or later he'd have to find a way to make Claire see that he was no good for her. To make her leave him, and be glad about it. But until then …
"Promise me you won't kiss another wizard while we are married."
"But you told me to! Remember?"
He winced. "I know. I wish I could take my words back, but I can't. So just promise me it won't happen again."
Claire propped her head on one arm. It was too dark to see his face clearly, so she laid a hand over it to feel if he smiled. But he seemed to be utterly serious.
"Why?" she asked and tried desperately to keep her voice calm.
His answer took so much time that she almost thought he'd fallen asleep, and when he talked it sounded genuinely surprised.
"Because I did not like it. I did not like it at all."
* * *
Claire sat at her desk and sighed in desperation. Never in the 18 years she had been involved in the Winterstorm businesses had there been such a mess in her bookkeeping and her papers. She had always prided herself in her discipline, but lately there had been so many better things to do than sign contracts and proof-read manuscripts - something she did sporadically, because she wanted to have an eye on what Winterstorm Publishing produced. Still, sitting in the sun and watching Sirius and Harry play Quidditch, or try on robes with Serene or discuss the Muggle world with Laurel, was so much better. Somehow the pile on her desk had grown into a mountain of parchment scrolls, and she had to at least mail off some of the manuscripts or the books wouldn't be in the stores in time for the beginning of the next term.
Bravely she worked her way from the highest layer down, until she reached the desk. Now all she had to do was sort the drawers and prepare the parcels for the noon-owls. In the drawer she found mostly bills, a flyer she had picked up at the fair, and a pile of parchment sheets, covered in minuscule handwriting. Frowning she studied the first page, and recognised Sirius' stories. She smiled. He still told her stories, and - another thing she'd have to admit to him sooner or later - she still had the quill write down every word. Digging in the second drawer she found the collection of stories she had gathered over the course of the last weeks. Carefully she smoothed the parchment, and pondered where to store it so Sirius would not stumble over it before she told him. Eventually she wrapped and sealed it, wrote 'S. PADFOOT' and 'Prisoner syndrome?' as a cross reference on the envelope and put it on a shelf where she kept her quills and seal-wax.
When the door opened she jumped guiltily.
"Sirius!"
He frowned. "Did I scare you?"
She sat down at the now considerably less cluttered desk. "I just forgot the time with all the paperwork."
"Remus sent me an owl. They'll arrive in fifteen minutes. The fireplace in your office is the only one connected to the Floo-network, is that right?"
"Yes, my father used it to get to the stores. When it became obvious that I could not travel by Floo, he had all the fireplaces closed but this one."
Sirius stepped behind her and started to rub her neck with soft, circular strokes. For a moment Claire closed her eyes, then she relaxed, almost melted under his touch. How had she lived without him? All the little things … The laughter. The sensations. The very presence of him.
"Sirius," she said softly. "There is something we need to talk about."
He kept stroking, caressing, let his hands wander to her cleavage. His silky mane brushed her face when he bent over her and kissed her temple.
"I promise not to let Harry fly the motorcycle without me."
"That's not what I meant. Although I'd rather you didn't ride that terrible thing either."
"Well, if it is not about the motorcycle - what is so important then?"
Claire reached for his hand and held it, while she searched for the right words.
"Serene had a vision. A vision about you in Azkaban."
Sirius laughed, a low amused laughter, that would have pleased Claire at any other time. But now she wanted him to take her seriously.
"She saw you imprisoned in Azkaban! We have to talk to Headmaster Dumbledore about it, I think, and find a way to not let it happen."
"I don't give a damn about Serene and her visions, baby. You should know that by now."
"Laurel said that Serene's vision about Severus was dead right."
He stepped around her and sat on the desk, so he could see her face. Taking her hands and putting them on his knees, he said emphatically, "Claire, I don't believe in divinations. Remember, my mother was a clairvoyant or at least she claimed to be one. But if she'd really foreseen my father's death, it wouldn't have taken her by surprise so much when it happened. So whatever Serene thinks she saw, it was just an illusion. And probably born out of her disdain for me."
"Sirius …"
"No, listen to me now. Don't let her frighten you. It is just make- believe."
Claire sighed and let her head rest on his thigh while he stroked her hair. "But she could describe it in detail. What it looked like, what you wore …"
Sirius gently pushed back her chair and got up. Wandering to the window, he stared out into the garden, where the elves were busy setting up tables and chairs. They had sent Harry to Hogwarts to deliver a robe of Claire's to Serene, an errand that should keep him away from the Manor for long enough to prepare a birthday party. Hagrid had been invited, and Remus would bring three more guests.
"Claire, I know that Serene was wrong," he sighed eventually.
Claire stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him from behind, rubbing her cheek against his back. "How can you know that?"
"Because there is no way they'll take me back to Azkaban alive."
She tensed in shock. "You don't …"
"I'd rather die than go back there. You don't know how it is, Claire. It is the worst place you can imagine. No living being should be convicted to this icy hell. So next time they won't get me alive."
A deep rumbling sound in the fireplace made them turn, both shaky with emotion. Claire grasped Sirius' hand, not sure whether she needed support or wanted to support him.
"That must be Remus." Sirius voice betrayed his inner tension. "I am sorry I spoiled this sunny morning with my .."
"Don't!" She turned to him, almost violently. Her eyes flared up. "Don't you dare to apologise for sharing your feelings with me!"
For a moment they remained like this, Claire like lightning, Sirius like rain. Then he drew her in his embrace, kissed her face, her lips, in desperate need of her affection.
Claire answered his kisses, shyly at first, but then opening to the intensity of his tongue that explored her mouth. This was not just a kiss, she thought with the last bit of reason she could muster, this was a wordless plea.
Suddenly she felt Sirius tense. The moment shattered.
When she came up for air, she almost jumped. Green flames blazed in the fireplace, and right in the centre she saw four people, who only seconds later stumbled out into the office. Remus coughed and brushed soot off his sleeves.
"You really need to get this fireplace cleaned," he frowned. "Or else you want have too many visitors, I am afraid."
"I am so sorry!" Claire passed him a handkerchief. "It hasn't been in use since my father died two years ago."
Remus wiped his face clean. "I was only joking, Claire. Now here I bring you the three visitors you requested." He introduced her to a red-haired boy and a girl she remembered from Sirius' Animagus class. "Ron and Hermione, they are both with Harry in Gryffindor. And this," he pushed forward a smaller, red-haired girl, "is Virginia, Ron's sister." The family likeness could not be denied. "I tried to get hold of the Longbottom boy, but he went to Bath with his grand-uncle."
"Well," Claire beamed at them. "It is great you all could come. Just feel at home. Harry won't be here for another hour, so why don't you let Peagreen show you your rooms and the house, before the party starts?"
Hermione, uncharacteristically tongue-tied, gaped at her.
"It is you!" she breathed eventually.
"Indeed, Miss Granger," Sirius said dryly. "It is her."
"No … I mean …", Hermione stuttered. "This is Claire Winterstorm, the owner of Winterstorm Inc.!"
"Yes?"
"But Professor, don't you know she has been named 'Business Witch of the Year' twice? She was on the cover of 'Galleons and Knuts' only this January!"
"Is that so?" Sirius smiled at Claire who had blushed and resembled a beetroot right now. "So I married a celebrity?"
"Oh rubbish," Claire murmured.
"You published 'Brianna Smith's Diary'! It was hilarious, I gave it to my mum who is a Muggle and even she liked it!
"You girls can discuss books later," decided Remus and ushered them all out of the office. "Right now lets get this birthday party going."
* * *
After blowing out sixteen candles on a gigantic high-towering cake, listening to a slightly off-tune version of 'Happy Birthday' and unwrapping the presents from his friends, even Harry had to agree that birthdays could be good. In fact this one was great, he decided, when he turned his attention to the last parcel, which stood on a side table, wrapped in plain brown paper.
Remus and Sirius smirked when he tore the wrapping off and found a heavy earthenware bowl the size of a large tureen. Harry frowned.
"Is this what I think it is?" he asked.
Remus nodded. "A pensieve, yes. The smallest we could find."
"What is a pensieve?" piped Ginny.
"You can keep your memories in it," explained Harry and eyed the silvery surface of the bowl.
"Like … in a diary?"
"More so," said Remus, patient as always. "You literally extract your memories out of your brain and into the pensieve. And in a quiet hour you can take your time and look at them."
Ginny stared at the pensieve. "This is …. memories? It looks like quicksilver," she said.
"Harry knows how it works, don't you?" Sirius laid a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Remus and I thought we wanted to give you a memory of your parents. Mine is of your father winning the house cup for Gryffindor in our sixth year."
"Mine is of Lily, telling us she was expecting a baby." Remus' voice trembled ever so lightly, and to Claire's great surprise Serene stepped behind him and slipped her hand into his for a moment, until he had regained his calm.
"Why don't we all go for a walk in the park, while Harry tries out his present," Claire suggested cheerily. "And when you are done, Harry, I really think you should come and explain the offside rule to me."
Sirius knew that Quidditch rules were a perpetual inside-joke between his godson and his wife, and saw with relief how Harry smiled. Giving a sixteen year old boy a memory of his long dead parents was not something he and Remus had done easily. First, he would miss the memory of James making that one final pass. Second, they did not know how Harry would react. But then again, the boy had a family and friends who would catch him if he crumbled.
"Take your time," he said softly to Harry. "They are your memories now."
Sirius sat down in the grass next to Remus, sighing contentedly, a mug of Butterbeer in his hand, and enjoyed the sunset.
"Ah Moony, have we ever been like them? So … carefree? So young?".
His friend shrugged.
"I can't remember. But Harry is not carefree most of the times. You know that as well as I do. He carries that black cloud of doom wherever he goes, and as hard as he tries to be a normal teenager, as long as Voldemort exists, days like today will be an exception for him."
"Claire did a great job," Sirius smiled and raised his mug in greeting when Ron and Hagrid soared over their heads on their brooms. Serene, Ginny and Hermione sat on garden chairs next to the cake table, Serene conjuring minuscule models of great robes she wished one could by at Gladrags. Everybody seemed to have a good time. "She is so unaware of it, but she attracts all the loners, all the strays, and makes them feel welcome." He set the mug aside and crossed his arms behind his head.
"Are you happy, Padfoot?" Remus asked softly, looking intently at Sirius.
Sirius turned his head and the expression on his face took his friend by surprise. Desperate desire, almost palpable need …
"This is all I ever wanted," Sirius admitted, and Remus could see it cost him dearly. "A wife, a child. A family of my own." He watched Harry and Claire laughing, Harry using two spoons to demonstrate the Tcherkessow defence, and Claire shaking her head in mirth. "I wish they were mine."
Remus sighed in emphaty. He had seen it coming, had watched his friend lose his heart step by step. "Harry may not be your child but he is your god- son. And with Claire it won't need more than a word from you to make her truly yours," he suggested. "She is in love with you, even a blind wizard can see that."
Sirius froze. "Claire needs freedom," he said stiffly. "She grew up in a prison, Remus, and all she does - this marriage, the mission - serves only one goal. To be free. How could I tie her to me?"
"So she wants to be free and you want to be loved?" Remus' face did not show the deep pain he felt. "Welcome to the club, my friend."
He got up and wiped grass and brushed off his robes. "I'll get me another of these strawberry cakes. Want one?"
Sirius smirked. "You are only looking for an excuse to talk to Serene. Remus, she really isn't good for you. I have never seen you as unhappy as you are now. Find another girl, and forget about her."
Lupin raised an eyebrow, but swallowed his initial reaction and just shook his head.
"I want to talk to her. I need to. We'll probably start fighting before I finish my first sentence but if I don't hear her voice …"
"But that's ridiculous, Remus! She is just a witch. She's pretty, I give you that. But obviously she is completely out of her mind."
"Get lost, Black." Remus' voice shook and Sirius winced when he recognised he had said too much. "I only hope Claire breaks your heart, so you get an idea of what you are talking about."
"Moony, I am sorry."
Lupin only shrugged and left. Sirius hugged his knees and let his head sink rest on them. Remus was so smart, knew so much about the human condition - why didn't he see that Serene was not interested in what he had to offer?
Claire wandered over the lawn to the shadowy spot where Sirius sat. Suddenly daring, she kneeled down and caressed his bare neck.
"What's wrong with Lupin?"
Sirius almost purred with pleasure when she started to massage his shoulders. "Serene is what's wrong. He got it in his stubborn head that he is in love with her, and so he suffers whenever she kicks him. Which she seems to do whenever he gets close."
Claire peaked over to the cake-table where Remus and Serene stood, talking without looking at each other. "You are too hard on Serene. She hurts him, that's true, but I can see she suffers as well. I think she really loves him, but for some reason she tries to scare him away. And since he doesn't budge, she keeps hurting him."
"Well, I think she is a conceited cruel bitch who takes great pleasure in yanking Remus' chain."
Claire's hands ceased their movements.
"Sirius!" she scolded. "She is not a bitch and she is not … She may appear cruel, but she loves him. I just know it."
He turned his head so he could see her face.
"And what would you know about love, Claire?" he asked softy.
The very moment he heard his words and saw the hurt in her eyes, he desperately wished he could take it back. And yet, he felt so confused about his own emotions … He needed to reassure himself that this marriage was a safe arrangement, one that would not endanger the defences he had built up over the years. He needed to know that it was friendship, nothing else, that bound him to Claire and that he would be able to leave her when the mission was over, without his or her heart breaking …
"What do I know about love?" she repeated his question. "What would you say if I told you that I love you, Sirius?"
He paled. For a moment his heart ceased to beat and when it came alive again, it raced so fast he could hear it thunder in his ears.
"I told you not to."
"Love isn't anything you can permit or forbid."
"It is just imagination, Claire." He cupped her chin and made her look at him. What he had dreaded, was there. She really fancied herself in love with him.
"Claire, don't you see that this is just a natural reaction? You are not used to male company, and we spend so much time together. We go through dangerous situations together, we share a bed. No wonder, you confuse comradeship with love."
She held her head very straight, a posture that reminded him very much of the little Hufflepuff girl who had made him feel like a complete fool whenever he teased her. "I am not your comrade," she said with dignity.
"Baby, I am the first wizard you ever kissed. The first you ever had sex with. You've never had a chance to compare."
Claire's eyes flashed with anger when she got up from her knees very abruptly. Without another word to Sirius she strode over the lawn, her fists clenched, her blue robe billowing.
When she reached Remus and Serene, she grabbed the wizard at the shoulders, turned him around so he faced her and kissed him right on the lips. The kiss was … pleasant. Remus' lips were warm and soft, but she did not feel the blood rushing in her ears like with Sirius. Her heartbeat was steady and calm. Almost disappointed she stepped back, and blushed violently when she saw the confusion in Remus' eyes.
"What … what was that for?"
Claire stammered an apology, but a side glance at Serene's furious face made her voice falter. If she'd needed proof that Serene felt something for Remus - now here it was. The red-haired witch stared at her as if she'd transform her into a toad any minute.
"Nothing. Forget it," she whispered and almost ran back to Sirius, who also stared at her with an expression she could not read.
"Well, I kissed another man, "she snapped. "I can compare kisses now. His was nice. Yours are better."
A sudden thunder in the air interrupted her. A lightning bolt criss-crossed the sky. Within minutes a summer storm broke loose, propelling napkins, leaves and one of Claire's books over the lawn. The elves hunted the book down, and saved the cake, but when warm rain started to pour down they gathered in the safety of the doorway and let napkins be napkins.
"Kids, forget about the chairs and pillows!" Claire ushered Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione inside, out of the thriving rain. "They are soaking wet already. Up you go and get dry! Coco will be delighted to fix you some hot chocolate and cookies."
Hagrid, who had been saving the motorcycle together with Sirius, moved carefully through the door, his hair and beard dripping all over the carpet. Claire urged him to take off the wet coat. "There is no way I'll let you fly home in this weather," she declared.
"I guess I'll sleep quite well on you living room floor," Hagrid boomed.
"Ygor's bed is still in the chamber behind the kitchen, it is," interfered Peagreen and beamed up at the huge wizard. "He is very big like you Mr. Rubeus."
"And if it doesn't fit, there is always magic." Sirius had made it into the house as the last of the party and closed the door behind him. He shook his head and the water from his hair sprayed everybody.
"Ah Padfoot, quit!" Remus scolded grinning. "Down boy!"
Sirius laughed, glad his friend was not angry anymore, and bared his teeth, before he went upstairs after the kids to make sure the windows in the office were shut.
Claire smiled when she saw the tiny Peagreen lead Hagrid to Ygor's chamber, and turned to Remus and Serene, who was wringing her wet mane, shivering with cold. It startled her when she saw the raw longing in Remus' eyes, looking at Serene. When he felt that Claire watched him, his face went blank and kind as always.
She cleared her throat and addressed Serene, suddenly too shy to look at Lupin.
"How about you and Remus? Care to share a room?"
Claire winced and clasped a hand over her mouth. Why had she just said that? Serene's eyes flared up in anger and when she stormed up the stairs. Remus' eyes followed her unhappily.
"That was uncalled for," he said softly.
"Sorry. I am sorry," Claire sighed. "Of course there are enough rooms for everybody. Just pick one and the elves will provide you with a fire and towels and linen or whatever you need."
He just nodded and went upstairs.
Claire could have slapped herself. How could she have said something like that? Then again … a night of passion might be just what these two stubborn ignorants needed … Too bad she could not think of any way to lock them into a room and not let them out until the deed was done. Laurel had told her about how Dumbledore had hexed her and Severus into a chamber into the tower to make them understand they needed each other. Physically, yes, but hadn't it been like that with her and Sirius, too? She had learned to trust him with her body, and then she had begun to trust him with her heart …
Her hand clasped the small crystal trinket she always wore. She'd go upstairs and find Sirius and make sure the trinket was visible. Very visible. Making sure the elves would not make another attempt to bring in furniture or plates, she turned off the magical light in the living room and opened her braid, so her hair fell in damp ringlets down her back.
She paused on the first step. And then, calmer than she'd ever thought she'd be in this situation, she took off the chain and slipped into her pocket.
She found Sirius in the bathroom where he dried his hair with a towel, another one wrapped dangerously low around his narrow hips. When he met Claire's eyes in the mirror, he gave her a big grin.
"Good to know that I am not the only one who wishes they'd bitten their tongue off before they talked to Moony. I overheard …"
The grin died with the words, and he turned around, dropping the towel he had used on his head.
Claire stood there, open hair flowing down her back, face flushed with nervousness. She licked her upper lip with a quick flick of her tongue that did more to him than any bold touch.
"I want you."
Her voice was so soft he thought he had misheard her. His breath hitched in his throat when he watched her opening the fastening of her robe and letting the soft material slide to the bathroom floor.
"I want you to … do the things you do."
"Things?"
He had gone all serious.
She sighed. This was not easy. "I want you to kiss me all over. To hold me so close that I feel I am melding with you." The thin shift followed the robe. "I want your hands on me … and you in me."
Naked, she closed the distance between them and took in the pleased surprise in his eyes - and the reaction her words had caused. To know she could do that to him, could make him hard with so little, filled her with joy and gratitude and self-assurance.
Her finger drew a line down his chest, very carefully, almost painfully slow, and lower across his stomach until it reached the towel.
"But first," her breath got faster, "I want you to do nothing."
Sirius cleared his throat when her finger hooked into the towel and loosened it inch by inch.
"Nothing?"
She smiled, her mouth only a heartbeat away from his.
"Nothing."
Claire took her time. She had never really looked at him when he was naked. Of course she had touched him … there. But under the covers, not like now. Sirius moaned softly when she let a finger slide down his erection, and gasped in surprise when she wrapped her hand around him.
"Did I hurt you?" She let go immediately. "Did I do anything wrong?"
"Merlin, no. You are doing fine … just fine." He blinked when she took up her caresses again. "Just fine. Perfect."
Claire trailed kisses down his chin, his throat, and never let go off him.
"Sirius, your knees are shaking!" she chuckled. "Want to lay down?"
He groaned, a sound of surrender.
She moved him with little pushes against his back out of the bathroom, into the bedroom. But when he meant to get onto the bed, she shook her head.
"The floor?"
"In front of the fire, if you please."
He felt … vulnerable, laying there, hard and throbbing for her touch, and his oh so shy wife kneeling next to him, studying his body like a piece of fine art.
Then her mouth started to nibble at his collarbone, at the flat taunt stomach, and lower, until he clenched his fists into the carpet.
"Is this really what you want?" he managed, the blood roaring in his ears. "To let me alone in this?"
"No," she gasped and ceased her nibbling immediately. "No."
Sliding her body over his like a soft silky sheet, she remained still for a moment. Then, rising and straddling him at the same time, she slowly took him into her. Sirius groaned. She was ready for him, wet and warm and welcoming.
"Tell me how it feels," he demanded, his throat rough like shark skin.
"As if something had been missing. And is now being replaced," she gasped. "As if I'd been alone and empty all my life, and now I was whole."
He still lay there, letting her set the pace, although it became harder and harder to control the urge to move
"And it feels like words can never be enough."
Claire bowed down, cupping his face with both hands, and kissed him deeply, letting him feel what it really felt like.
Satisfied she was experiencing the same pleasure he felt, Sirius took over, his hands trailing down her sides, cupping her breasts, stroking her hard nipples, until she closed her eyes in helpless exultation.
He began to move, gliding in and out of her, stretching, pushing deeper with each stroke. He tilted her hips so he could thrust even deeper, as if he wanted to become one with her.
Claire lost herself in the hard thrusts of his body, in the fiery heat that rose and engulfed all of her. She threw her head back, riding faster, her fingers entwined with his.
With a low growl he rolled them over so he topped her, and his rhythm got faster, harder, his body beyond any pretence of control.
Right then, for the fraction of a moment before her body took over and all rational thought surrendered to absolute bliss, Claire knew she loved him. And would do anything to make him love her, too.
Then the world shattered and they both became one heartbeat.
Later Sirius propped his head on the pillow and looked at her with an expression she had never seen before. Wonderment.
She liked that look.
"If you ever came to me … like you just did, he pressed a kiss onto her temple and sighed contentedly when she slipped into her favourite position, head in the crook of his shoulder, half wrapped around him. "I promised to grant you a wish, if you ever found the courage to tell me you wanted me."
"A wish?"
"Whatever you want."
"You are taking a serious risk with that, you know? What if I wanted you to jump off the North Tower?"
He chuckled. "I'd jump. Then I'd be dead and you'd be all alone in your big four-poster and you'd be sorry."
"Would I?"
His hand slipped in between their bodies, teasing, demanding and delivering at the same time.
Claire moaned softly. "Alright, I'd miss you. I … would miss you … very much."
"So you better think it over before you call in my debt." He grinned satisfied, utterly relaxed and at ease.
Claire tensed for a moment, her mouth pressed again his neck, her breath coming in great ragged gasps.
"I will. I promise, I will."
When her heartbeat had calmed to its normal pace, Sirius' finger trailed her forehead.
"Promise me one more thing."
"Oh Sirius, not again. I can't promise I won't fall in love with you." She hid her face in his dark hair. "I am afraid it is too late for that."
Sirius sighed and stared into the darkness of the bedroom. What was he to do? How had he diverted the feelings of all those girls in school he had dated but had never been really interested in? Sooner or later he'd have to find a way to make Claire see that he was no good for her. To make her leave him, and be glad about it. But until then …
"Promise me you won't kiss another wizard while we are married."
"But you told me to! Remember?"
He winced. "I know. I wish I could take my words back, but I can't. So just promise me it won't happen again."
Claire propped her head on one arm. It was too dark to see his face clearly, so she laid a hand over it to feel if he smiled. But he seemed to be utterly serious.
"Why?" she asked and tried desperately to keep her voice calm.
His answer took so much time that she almost thought he'd fallen asleep, and when he talked it sounded genuinely surprised.
"Because I did not like it. I did not like it at all."
* * *