Winter's Darkness (set just before the end of Obernewtyn).
Author's note: Obernewtyn and all related characters are, of course, copyright Isobelle Carmody. The material in this story is my own, so please don't copy it. The end of this story contains dialogue and events written by Isobelle, but told from an alternate perspective. However, I have used exact quotes in some places. Again, all material quoted from "Obernewtyn" is Isobelle's property. I'm not trying to plagiarize, just to situate my own story in the context of the book. I hope you like it! Please read and review, and let me know what you think!
Winter had descended upon us with the fury of some huge beast. The wind had a bite to it that blew through clothing to chill skin, and the air whistled eerily through the stone passages of Obernewtyn. The air even tasted different than usual- cold and metallic, and rather wet. I shivered. The constant snowfall was oppressive and made me feel closed-in. I could hear it, whisper-soft and incessant, gradually accumulating on the roof, muffling sound.
"Does it look like it's going to let up soon?" I asked Matthew hopefully.
I heard him turn from the window of the chamber we shared. "Nah," he said, "th' sky looks same as ever. If anythin', it looks like the snowfall's getting heavier."
I sighed as I turned in my chair to face the fire, enjoying the warmth washing across my face and hands. A wave of restlessness assailed me from the direction of the window, and I smiled in spite of my bleak mood. "You might as well come sit," I said over my shoulder. "Latemeal isn't for hours yet, and there's really no work to be done. Watching the snow fall down isn't going to make it stop."
Matthew laughed. "An' how would you know that?" he inquired teasingly as he came over and settled himself in the chair across from me.
I smiled in the direction of his voice. "Well, listening to it hasn't made the sound stop, so I doubt watching it will help matters much." He snorted, and I felt his amusement wash over me.
"Truespoken, that," he said, and I heard his chair creak as he sat back into it. We sat in companionable silence for a few moments before I voiced the question that was most on my mind.
"Do you know if Elspeth is awake?" I asked, schooling my face to keep it impassive, and attempting to sound casual.
"Elf?" he said, sounding surprised. "I haven't seen her since I took firstmeal up to her room, but I think I heard someone say that she's asleep. Why, d'ye want me to farseek her and find out?"
"No!" I said, perhaps a bit too vehemently. "No, that's all right," I repeated. "I just wondered."
I felt amusement vying with curiosity emanating from Matthew and guessed that he was looking at me with speculation. I kept my expression carefully bland. "You 'just wondered', huh?"
My cheeks grew hot, and I turned my face back towards the fire to hide my discomfiture. The waves of curiosity assailing me became stronger. "So I'm right, then?" Matthew persisted. "You do have feelings for her?" I knew he was not going to stop hounding me until I told him, so I sighed and turned back to face him.
"Are you sure you're not an empath?" I asked teasingly. He laughed.
"Dameon, I'd have to be a fool not to see it," Matthew replied. "I don't need to be an empath to see the way your ears perk up every time her name is mentioned, like a horse when it hears fresh hay being put into its stall."
I laughed at the comparison, feeling myself flush again. "I didn't realize I'd been so obvious," I muttered, then tensed as an embarrassing thought struck me. "Do you think she knows?"
"Nah," he said, "she's as blind as you are when it come to that sort of thing." I sighed with relief, and felt another rush of curiosity from Matthew.
"Why?" He asked. "Don't you want her to know?"
I hesitated before speaking, and heard his chair creak as he leaned forward. There was a brief rustling noise, a pop, and I felt a renewed burst of warmth. Matthew had stoked the fire. I heard a muffled 'thump' as he put another log on. "Well…" I said, at last, "I'm not sure, actually."
"Why?" He asked again. I shook my head slowly.
"I don't know," I said seriously. "It's just that, well, Elspeth is my friend. I don't know how to tell her that what I feel for her is something more than friendship." I grimaced. "Besides, I've never felt this way about anyone before. I wouldn't know what to say!"
Matthew laughed. "Is that all?"
I shrugged a shoulder uncomfortably. "Well, that, and the fact that I'm afraid of what she'd say," I said quietly.
I was mildly gratified to feel his puzzlement. "What, you think she wouldn't love ye 'cause you're blind?" he asked incredulously.
I smiled. "No, not because I'm blind." I replied. "In fact, one of the things I love about Elspeth is that she has never treated me differently because of it. That, and the fact that she's kind, and fierce, and vibrant, and brave…" I trailed off, embarrassed.
"She's beautiful, too, y'know," Matthew said softly. "Her eyes are the green of tree leaves in summer, and her hair is dark like night…"
"Thank you," I said, smiling at his uncharacteristically poetic description. It…fit… somehow. "I already knew that she's beautiful, though- I don't need to see her to know that." A log popped on the fire, and I heard a hissing rustle as it fell apart. I sighed again.
"Lud, man!" exclaimed Matthew. "Just tell her and get it over with! We have to go up to her room now anyway to tell her about Rushton's meeting tonight an' his plans for us. After we do that, I'll leave, an' you can stay and tell her how you feel."
I gave him a wry look. "You do realize that you're a hopeless romantic at heart, don't you?" I felt his amusement, and could only assume that he was grinning at me.
"Aw, I'd just like to see my two friends happy! There's nothin' wrong wi' that!" he replied. "Now let's go, before you lose your nerve."
I rose carefully from my chair and heard Matthew stand as well. Listening to his footsteps in front of me with half an ear, I followed him out of the room. In truth, I knew the halls of Obernewtyn so well that I did not need this guidance, but it was helpful to know how far he was in front of me so that I would not tread on his heels. There was a sick feeling of anticipation in my stomach as we climbed the stairs to Elspeth's room, and my mouth felt strangely dry. I swallowed hard, inwardly rehearsing what I would say to her.
"Nervous?" came Matthew's voice from in front of me.
"You wouldn't believe how much," I said dryly. We stopped in front of Elspeth's door, and I took a deep breath. I heard Matthew knock, and then open the door.
"Elf?" Matthew said, walking in ahead of me. "Are you awake?"
I heard a sigh from the direction of the bed, and the rustling of bedclothes as she sat up. "I am now," Elspeth said. "Come in, though- I could use the company." Matthew led me to a chair by the bed, and I sat down into it, hearing Matthew do the same in the chair next to me. I felt waves of mental fatigue coming from Elspeth, and I knew that she was not yet recovered from her experience in the caves. Underneath it, though, I sensed something that shocked me. Elspeth was attracted to someone! The feelings were hidden deep, and it was only because of my Talent that I noticed them, but they were definitely there. I felt a rush of joy and hope. Perhaps Elspeth returned my love! I could not wait to tell her how I felt, now that I knew this. Suddenly, I realized that I was grinning like an idiot and that I must appear to be staring at Elspeth. I turned my face away.
"I heard that there is some sort of a secret meeting tonight?" Elspeth was asking.
"Yes," I said, still trying to suppress my grin. "Rushton sent word that he wants all of us to meet this evening to discuss the future of Obernewtyn." I paused, knowing well that she would not be pleased with the rest of Rushton's message. "However, he also said that you are not to leave your bed until you are completely well."
A blazing wave of anger and frustration hit me, and I flinched. "He can't stop me from going!" Elspeth exclaimed. "I'm as much a part of Obernewtyn as anyone!"
"Ye nowt well enough!" Matthew said stubbornly. I felt his worry for her, and realized that Elspeth must still look ill, as well. I certainly did not want her to risk her health for a meeting, no matter how much she might protest.
"It might be better…" I began, but Elspeth interrupted me.
"Stay here and miss this mysterious meeting, not on your life," she said. However, I heard her sink back onto her pillows, and knew that she was only protesting for the sake of argument.
"You look different," Matthew said to her.
"So would you be different if some machine was inside your head," Elspeth snapped. I grinned at her tone, and felt Matthew's amusement as well.
"Where is Rushton today?" Elspeth asked suddenly. Her tone was casual, but I felt the surge of emotions his name brought up in her. A horrible thought occurred to me. What if it was not me, but Rushton that Elspeth loved? I felt a stab of apprehension from Matthew as he jumped to the same conclusion, and heard him shift in his chair as he turned to look at me. I kept my face carefully blank, trying not to show the anguish I was feeling.
To my relief, Matthew answered Elspeth's question. "He's the master here now," Matthew said. "He's everywhere. But he'll be back for the meeting. He has plans for Obernewtyn, and for people like us."
I felt Elspeth's brief flare of annoyance. "He has been busy making sure things run smoothly. Wintertime is no time to be idle," I said, amazed at how calm my voice sounded. "He came to see you several times, but you were always asleep and he would not let us waken you."
"No doubt he was busy," Elspeth said coldly. I felt a renewed rush of dismay as I perceived her annoyance that Rushton hadn't spoken to her, and her desire to see him again. I hadn't been wrong a moment ago, then. Elspeth loved Rushton. I cursed myself inwardly for my stupidity at thinking that she could ever return my love.
"We're going to stay," Matthew was saying as I brought my attention reluctantly back to the conversation. "Nearly all the Misfits want to stay. He's going to make Obernewtyn a secret refuge for people like us. He has plans."
"So you said," said Elspeth. I felt her attention turn to me, and I sensed puzzlement. I realized that I must be staring at her again, and forced myself to try to smile at her.
"What about the Druid?" she asked suddenly. I heard Matthew shrug.
"They haven't contacted Rushton since he failed to meet them the night you escaped," he said. "He said he'll deal with that when the time comes."
"What about the Doctor?" she asked. I felt her insatiable curiosity, and smiled in spite of myself. I did love her still, even if that love would never be returned.
"I don't think Rushton is quite sure what to do with him yet," I said. "He really is quite harmless."
I heard Elspeth yawn. "You know, I don't think I'll go to the meeting after all," she said.
Matthew and I both sighed with relief, and I felt Elspeth's amusement. I also felt a surge of restlessness from her, as if she was impatient to get away from Obernewtyn.
"Will you be staying?" I asked her, thinking that, with Rushton as Master here, she had a reason to.
"I don't think so," she replied. My heart sank. Even if Elspeth did not love me, I did not think that I could bear to be separated from her.
"There would be a place for you. Rushton said you're stronger than all of us. He has the notion of starting his own Council," Matthew said enthusiastically.
I felt a wave of incredulity and curiosity from Elspeth, and nodded that it was true, hoping to change her mind. "He wants to govern Obernewtyn with the help of a Council elected from our ranks," I told her. "He wants it to be fair. He wants us to work to better our abilities and to train others like us to be better at what we do."
"He wants us to form groups, guilds of special abilities," Matthew added.
"And this council will be sort of a guild merge," said Elspeth. I sensed her amusement and tried not to laugh.
"A good name. I will suggest it," I said, and Elspeth laughed. I felt a brief stab of pain- my own, this time- and wished for a moment that I could make her laugh more often. I was glad that her attention seemed not to be directed at me.
"What happened to those Councilmen?" she asked, and Matthew laughed.
"There's a story," he said, and I could feel his amusement. I heard him lean forward in his chair as he began. "Madam Vega made the mistake of leaving the Councilmen to Alexi's tender mercies. Alexi, lacking any subtlety, fed them drugged wine and threw them in one of the underground storage chambers."
I grinned, feeling Elspeth's amazement. "By the time they were discovered, it was all over," Matthew continued. "Rushton got them out and told them what had happened- with a few omissions."
"A few omissions!" Elspeth gasped, and I felt Matthew's amusement grow stronger as he went on.
"He told them Madam Vega had been up to mischief for ages, plotting against the Council, and that she had organised to have the Councilmen knocked out and murdered in case they found out what she was up to," he said. "Rushton gave them the impression the whole revolt had been made to free them. His own claim was secondary. They were sick to their stomachs from the stuff Alexi gave them, and only too happy to believe anything they were told. They rushed back to Sutrium and civilisation with the promise to present Rushton's claim to the Councilcourt. Rushton said he couldn't leave in winter-time, but that he would come in the spring to make his formal petition."
Elspeth laughed aloud, but then I felt a brief surge of apprehension from her. "What about me?" she asked.
"What about you?" Matthew inquired pertly. "You're dead. You ran away during the battle and were almost certainly eaten by wolves." Elspeth laughed again.
I heard footsteps approaching the door. "Rushton's coming up," said Domick's voice. I sighed softly and stood, knowing that I should give them time alone, whether I wanted to or not. I heard Matthew begin to stand, as well.
"Wait. Don't…" said Elspeth, sounding troubled. A rush of hope flew over me. Could it be that I had misinterpreted her feelings? That she truly didn't love him? That--My heart sank again as Matthew gently took my arm, leading me from the room as Rushton walked in.
We walked back to our room in silence, and I was grateful that Matthew did not let go of my elbow. My thoughts were swirling so fast that I could not have concentrated on where I was going even if I had tried. Matthew led me to my chair by the fire, and I sank down into it, burying my head in my hands. "Lud, Dameon, I'm sorry," he said quietly. I sighed.
"It's not your fault," I said bleakly.
"D' ye want to talk?" Matthew asked. The waves of pity from him that flowed over me felt stifling, and I shook my head. I heard an indrawn breath, as if he intended to say something more, but then his footsteps sounded away, towards the door. It closed quietly behind him.
The heat of the fire caressed me, as it had before, but it was now devoid of all comfort. As I turned my face towards the warm light that I would never see, I thought that never before had my own darkness seemed so complete, or so empty. Winter had truly descended upon us.