Tenchi's Last Goodbyes
Silence. The silence of the night was profound. Tenchi had waited until the silence was so overwhelming there was no possible way for anyone in the household to be awake without alerting him. Once he was assured that he wouldn't be followed, Tenchi quietly snuck out of the house in the direction of his mother's grave. Trying to be as quiet as possible, Tenchi ambled his way through the delicate, freshly fallen cherry blossom petals. With nimble tiptoeing movements Tenchi made his way towards the shrine. Once he felt that he was safely out of earshot, Tenchi's walking pattern returned to normal. With mournful steps Tenchi gradually neared his mother's grave.
"Mother, I…Well, not much has really changed in my life since the last time I came to see you. Washu is still crazy; Mihoshi is still… Well…. Mihoshi. Ayeka is still a graceful, quiet princess with a wicked temper. Sasami is still an innocent, loving, trusting girl. Ryo-ohki is still cute as ever and Ryoko is still… So…so…so…"
Argh. "I can't even begin to describe Ryoko lately. It's like she's afraid of something! Oh Mom, why can't she understand, that I can't and won't choose right now. I still have so much of my life ahead of me. I'm not even out of my teens yet! I don't want to hurt her, I don't want to hurt anyone, but I just don't feel ready for the feelings that she wants from me. I'm still not sure what I want to be yet. How can Ayeka and Ryoko expect me to choose one of them when I can't even choose what I want to be?"
"Mom, I'm so tired of all this. It's so hard living here, knowing that sooner or later I'm going to have to make a choice and whether I like it or not I will hurt them somehow. I'm not even sure that I'll end up being with them. I mean, once I'm at college I'll be meeting new people everyday and I don't… I mean… I might… fall in love with someone there. And as much as I'd like to bring that person here to meet everyone, I don't want to even think about the damage that will happen."
"Mom, why can't you be here to make this easier? I really am excited about going to college and I really do want to learn. But, I'm so afraid of what will happen to this family if I leave. I mean… Will Ryoko and Ayeka antagonize each other to the point of considering killing each other? Who will keep the peace and stop the fights from getting too far out of hand? Who will protect them from themselves? I love them all so much, but I just need to get away so I can be myself for once. Am I being selfish Mom? I feel like I'm deserting them. But I keep reminding myself that if I don't figure out who I am and what make me the person that I am, then I'll never be able to make anyone happy let alone myself."
"Oh Mom, why does this have to be so hard? Why couldn't I have met them when I was ready for them?" The anguish and sorrow of the whole situation and the position that he was in was clearly visible on Tenchi's face. The strain in Tenchi's voice attested to his inner turmoil. Through the clouded confusion of his mind Tenchi heard the soft entreaties of his mother's voice.
"Tenchi, you are a kind and sweet young man, and anyone that loves you will wait for you. Even if waiting causes them pain. Love is never simple or easy and learning whom you love can be just as messy and confusing as love itself. But Tenchi, don't give up on your family, especially Ayeka and Ryoko; they both love you enough to respect your decisions. They haven't come around to accepting each other as the friends that they are, but don't worry Tenchi, they will. And you are not needed every time a situation arises. You are important, but Ayeka and Ryoko are mature enough to know on their own when enough is enough. You have just got to learn to accept that they will stop before things go too far. Ryoko is capable of more than you give her credit. And Ayeka will always be your friend, no matter the choice that you make."
"You are right Tenchi. You do need to find yourself, and you will only be able to do that if you go away. But remember Tenchi, all that you can be and all that you are is right here with these people; right now. So, don't feel bad about leaving, you are not the only one that needs this separation. The whole family must learn to live and grow without your influence. Ryoko must learn to become an adult and to express her emotions rather than bury them. Ayeka must learn that no matter how much she may want and she may crave some things will not be hers to claim. Sasami must learn to delegate responsibility and Washu must learn to express her love for her daughter. All of these things will not happen as long as you are here; you fill the gaps and hold everything together. I hate to say this to you Tenchi, but sometimes you need a breakdown in order to move forward. You are going to have to let them go, in order for them to move on." The soft caress of a gentle breeze across Tenchi's cheek told him that his mother would always be there for him if he needed her.
"I love you, my little Tenchi and I will always watch over you. Trust me, your family arrived here exactly when you were ready for them. Not a minute before and not a minute after. But you must realize this Tenchi, of all of the people in your life; Ryoko is the only one that you chose yourself to bring into your life. I will approve of any person that you chose to love, and I do not think you are selfish for wanting to decide for yourself. But Tenchi, don't take too long or your true love may leave you. Take care my little Tenchi, and know that I will always love you."
Achika's spirit silently whispered her goodbye on the wind. Tenchi heard it all, his mother's soft, soothing voice calming his concerns about the future. Tenchi felt a rush of contentment at the knowledge that his life was finally taking a course of his own choosing and his mother approved of the choice.
"Thank you… … …Mom." Tenchi whispered to the fleeting feeling of warmth, as Achika's spirit left him.
Tenchi turned to leave feeling his resolve growing with each step. The excitement of leaving finally overpowered his anxiousness, giving Tenchi a rush of exhilaration. At last content with his future and the decision he made, Tenchi contentedly strolled back home. Meandering through the forest and down the steps Tenchi's thoughts wandered back to Ryoko. Shaking his head Tenchi pushed aside the thoughts and continued down the path.
'Oh Tenchi…I love you…so very much….' Ryoko's silent confession carried its way to Tenchi's heart.
"Huh!" Tenchi whirled around to look straight into the night, his eyes unable to penetrate the darkness. He had heard her he was sure of it. He searched the shadows for the familiar pair of golden feline eyes that belonged to the hushed confession. Where was she? He could have sworn he had heard her voice. It sounded so close…almost as if she were next to him, seemingly whispering the words into his ear. Was that voice really Ryoko's or just his imagination playing tricks on him again. Tenchi searched the darkness for a while longer and then finally with a sigh, Tenchi continued his descent home.
Arriving within eyesight of the house, Tenchi's movements became stealthy and silent. Without a sound Tenchi entered the house and made his way to his room. Undetected by anyone else in the household, Tenchi soundlessly prepare for sleep. Dressed in his pajamas, Tenchi felt certain that he would never get to sleep. Too many things needed answers, too much excitement about college, too many things needed to be taken care of. But despite his concerns and thoughts, Tenchi drifted off to sleep in a matter of seconds.
Tenchi's dreams were an amazing revelation, an enthralling mixture of nightmare and daydream fantasy. Future and past, real and imagined combined in this dream, revealing to him his heart's true love. Tenchi languished in his love's arms and then wept in despair at her deathbed. Tenchi lived through the happiest, as well as, the most tragic moments of his burgeoning future. For what felt like lifetime after progressive lifetime, Tenchi experience everything possible. Despite everything he felt during his dream, nothing prepared him for the waves of sorrow that washed over him.
Ryoko's suppressed unrequited love for Tenchi became a devastating monsoon of misery and unshed tears. The grief weighed Tenchi's heart down with empathetic longing. How could so much pain be endured everyday? How could he not feel and see what had been right in front of him everyday? Question after question tumbled around Tenchi's sleep addled mind. With each new question a new wave of empathetic solitude and pain influenced Tenchi's dream world. Finally the waves subsided; Tenchi with a sigh of regret shed a tear for Ryoko's pain and returned to his dreams of the future and his love.