Zim looked around suspiciously before entering his home. Wandering into the bathroom/kitchen, he crossed paths with G.I.R, who was holding a large stack of paper. "Look master, I've got a hairbrush!" he squeaked.
Zim looked down in exasperation. "No, G.I.R, that's not a brush, it's a newspaper."
"Oooooh..." he trailed off. "But it says brush right here." He pointed.
"Give me that!" he growled, swiping it away. "G.I.R, you idiot! It says 'bush', not brush!" he read the headline, Bush Wins Presidential Election. Zim read through it quickly. "They chose a bush as their country's leader?! IMPUDENT humans!!" he tossed the paper aside in annoyance, continuing his way to the lab. Once he had arrived, he opened his pack and pulled out the book, holding it with the utmost care. "Ah, yes!" he cackled. "This is how I shall rule them. Do all humans have books like these? Perhaps I could obtain the information in the heads of this ruling bush!" new thoughts and ideas crept into Zim's head.
For now, he had only this. Hopefully it would be good enough. "Look master, a chicken!" G.I.R informed as he held up a sucker.
"G.I.R, that's a...never mind. Just go away, I've work to do." He quickly flung away his disguise and leaned back into his chair, opening the book to its second page.
'Well, it's Friday,' it read, 'I guess I have some time to myself. Well, maybe I have too much time to myself. I really should get out more. It's pretty late, I wonder when Dad's gonna be back. He left a couple hours ago...I hope he didn't get in another wreck. Last time he almost lost his arm in that accident. No, no, I shouldn't think like that.'
"For how long is this so pointless?" Zim complained.
"Oooooooh! Watcha got there?" G.I.R asked curiously as he appeared in front of Zim.
"It's no business of yours!" he said.
"Okay! I'm gonna go lick the neighbor's kitty! Bye!" G.I.R hopped off the table and scurried away.
"Idiot." He grumbled. 'Is it supposed to be so...stupid?' he remembered asking. 'It's not stupid, it's advanced.' Was the answer. Advanced...The humans were stupid, but...that didn't mean they were advanced. But many of them acted like G.I.R for Irk's sake. He decided not to plague his mind with such thoughts at the moment, and read the next page.
'Dad didn't come home last night. I'm starting to get worried. Mom's been waiting by the phone and crying all day and just keeps telling me to go to my room. I didn't even go to school today.'
"Why does she care?" Zim said aloud. "Why, on Irk, parents never played such an important role. Pathetic humans!" he continued to read.
'It'll be okay, though. Dad'll come home, just like last time. And last time, he was gone for a whole week. My sister isn't worried, and she's always sensible. Hm, I wonder what's for dinner. Guess I'm on my own, Mom won't be in a mood to cook.'
Zim felt a sudden wave of tiredness. Deciding to finish the book in the morning, he stood and walked off.
Along with the new day came a new lecture on history in the early morning. Zim sat at his desk, eyes wide and focused into nowhere. This was ridiculous. Every day for the past week, the teacher had been trying to teach the students the same battle in history, a subject which none of the little beasts seemed to understand. Such a boorish waste of time.
Across from him, Dib was asleep, putting new thoughts into his head. 'Look at him. So...helpless. I could so easily crush him if there weren't so many witnesses.' He felt himself slowly drifting as well. 'Maybe one of these days I'll plant something in her beverage.' He stared at the cup of coffee on her desk. He let his eyes drift over to Tiz, who was listening attentively, not having heard he lecture before.
Zim grinned. 'Yes, it is you who shall help me rule this planet. You have brought doom to your race, doom! Ahahahaha! Ha haahahah-okay, it's not that funny.' He continued to stare, evil thoughts surrounding his mind. 'Yes, Dib would be the first to go. After that, the horrible teacher. Wait, maybe the teacher first...and then this idiotic girl who has condemned her planet into submission!'
"Zim!" the teacher crowed, causing him to straighten up. "Quit starin' at the girl and pay attention!"
The class started laughing, and Zim felt anger burning. "What?! I was simply staring at her because-" he stopped and swallowed, trying to think of a reason other then world domination.
"Do go on, Zim." Dib said with an eerie smile.
He scratched his head nervously. 'Wait, why did they think I was staring at her? It has to be a logical reason...What do they think?' he decided to play this out. "Er...well, why do you think?" he snorted.
"Zim's got a crush on the new kid!" said a random child.
Zim tried to understand the phrase, to no avail. Well, it sounded good enough. "Uh...yes. This 'crush'. Yes, I have a 'crush' on her." He smiled, seemingly very pleased with himself. But what was a crush? As long as they didn't suspect his true motive, it must've been something better.
Tiz sunk down into her seat, obviously very uncomfortable. Dib clearly saw straight through it, but didn't say so for fear of be thought of as insane. "When's the wedding?" taunted another boy.
"We...dding?" Zim thought about the word. What did this mean? Zim closed one eye in concentration. The bell rang, and the children all filed into the cafeteria. Zim got in line, setting the usual creations onto his tray. A rotten apple, carrot jello, peas, and some kind of thing that claimed to be a sandwich. Sitting down, he was annoyed to see Tiz come his direction.
"Why did you tell everyone you had a crush on me?" she asked immediately, the slightest hint of anger in her voice.
Zim blink and nonchalantly shoved a spoonful of jello into his mouth. "Maybe I do." He said.
"Why?" she asked, dumbfounded. "I just met you yesterday."
"And why do you care?" he asked, swallowing another bite.
"Because basically you just told the whole class you're in love with me!"
Zim choked and coughed, sputtering food out onto the table. "WHAT?" he didn't know what this crush was, or this wedding, but he did know what love was. "I did no such thing!"
"Yes you did, just five minutes ago." She lifted an eyebrow. "Dib was right, you're weird."
"Dib?" he growled. "Dib is a moron!" he banged his fist on the table, causing others to stare. "Anyway, I had to tell them something!"
"Why did you say that? You could've just said you were an alien from Mars and I was your next pod person."
"Irk, actually." Zim could've kicked himself. "I mean, Earth, I come from Earth."
"Whatever...just...don't say that anymore. It...isn't right." She walked off, leaving Zim to finish his hideous excuse for a meal.