Author's note: Thank you all so much for the reviews! It means a lot to me to know that you like my story.

First of all I need to tell you – something I forgot in my previous fanfics – that we've just started the second season here in The Netherlands. So I'm unfamiliar with some important 'Grissom & Sara' episodes. If I've got something wrong, please remember that.

Again, English is not my native language. I wish it were, especially with this fanfic.

And now for Grissom's POV… I hope you'll like it. This one was more difficult to write than Sara's. Probably because I'm a woman (so I can relate to Sara) and because Grissom is a very complex character. He's not so easily to fathom. Anyway, I hope I came close. Enjoy!

Revelations - Grissom

By Karin

Sara. She's looking at me. Although I'm sitting with my back turned toward her, I can feel her piercing look. So I turn around and meet her gaze. She doesn't look away. She doesn't even pretend that she's embarrassed about being caught staring at me. Her dark eyes are intense as if she's burning a way into my soul. Questions are clearly written in them. She wants to know me. She wants to know every part of me. My past, my present, my future… But I can't let her, and so I turn my head away and focus all my attention on my work again, while trying to ignore her soft sigh of frustration and disappointment.

"So, er, are you gonna tell us how you learned to sign?"

"No."

I noticed the look on her face when I said 'no'. She was offended. The way her face set clearly proved that. My heart wrenched for hurting her, but I wasn't ready to let her in. I'm still not ready, and I doubt whether I'll ever be ready. I'm afraid of giving myself away, afraid that she wouldn't understand.

I don't want to risk losing the perfect simple, yet isolated life I have now. I go to work, I solve scientific puzzles, I extend my knowledge and I go home again to sleep. The next day the same routine. I like my life as it is: clear, predictable and orderly. It doesn't need to become more complex.

But that's not enough for Sara. I know that she cares for me. Maybe too much for her own good. I'm afraid of hurting her, afraid that I can't give her what she needs. That's why I hope with all my heart that it's just admiration or friendship she feels instead of… love. I really hope so, for her sake.

"You wanna sleep with me?"

"Did you just say what I think you said?"

Her question caught me off guard. I removed my glasses and gave her a piercing look. That moment I felt something. When Sara asked me if I wanted to sleep with her, an image of us flashed before my eyes. I couldn't stop it. I saw the two of us lying in bed, huddled together. Both enjoying the warm and comforting embrace of the other.

It was only a matter of seconds, but it left me feeling awkward. I knew she didn't mean anything by it. She just used it as an example to make her point, to show me I was wrong. Then why did it make me feel that way?

I can't deny that I have feelings for Sara. She is one of the most remarkable women I have ever met. Sometimes, when I can't sleep, images of her seem to take up permanent residence in my mind. Her broad smile whenever she discovers something that will break or even solve the case. The sparkle in her beautiful eyes. Her laughter when she fools around with Nick and Warrick. The soft singing while she's so concentrated on the collected evidence that she doesn't even notice it. And her compassion, sometimes permitted, other times less appropriate.

"I wish I was like you, Grissom. I wish I didn't feel anything."

Her comment touched a tender spot. Unintentionally she hurt me. I did not show her that, but it was like reopening an old wound. I told her not to be so emotional, but sometimes I wish I could be more like her. I wish I could show my emotions that easily. I have never learned how, always restrained myself. I am not good with people. Sometimes not even with the people I work with. I care about my team, of course I do. I feel very protective about them. If someone runs into trouble – like Warrick – I would do anything to help him or her. And if someone gets hurt, I feel the pain as well. But that's it. I don't ask, I don't share. And I was okay with that.

Until Sara joined the team. She changed everything with her arrival. Maybe it's because of her age, her compassion, her enthusiasm, I don't know. All I know is that she wants more from me. She wants me to consider everyone's feelings more, to listen more, to show more of myself. According to her, being the boss doesn't excuse me from being ignorant. She's right. I do sometimes come across as a cold, unsociable and oblivious person, but that's only the exterior. The interior is entirely different. Only it's a part of me that people rarely get to see. I don't let them.

I know there have been times that Sara just wanted to strangle me – I wonder who will get my case if she did – I could 'read' the longing in her eyes. And for the first time I feel troubled. She makes me put my behavior under the microscope for once instead of the samples I collect. She makes me examine my actions and their consequences on the people around me. No one has ever made me do that before. Maybe it's something between the two of us. I sense that we have a special connection. We are a good team; we complement each other well. Sara is extremely intelligent, and I take great satisfaction from working with her. She's still open to ideas and new methods, and she's such a fast learner. She knows what I mean even before I say it, and she is often ahead of me when I want her to do something for me.

And what does Sara want herself? She wants me to be a man I have never been, or never got the chance to be. Maybe I can learn. I've already missed a few chances in life, and I've experienced that sometimes you get stuck in your own desperate attempts to shield yourself.

Terri was the perfect example. She was the first woman to whom I felt attracted in a very long time. It was probably because she understood my passion for my work. She was as passionate about her own job as I was. I could talk with her, really talk, and I felt at ease with her. But I blew it. I couldn't make it work, and was held back by my own personality.

I pushed her away, like I push Sara away. I do not dare to define the feelings I have for her. I hide from them by telling myself that it can never happen. I'm her supervisor; I'm older than she is. A relationship between us would never work. I'm afraid of ruining our working relationship and our friendship. I try to tell myself that, but I know it is utter nonsense. I'm making up reasons so I won't have to deal with the truth. Because if I really wanted to, then there would be way.

But what are my true feelings for her? Friendship, compassion, the need to protect her? Is it only that, or is it something more? Something I don't want to see, don't want to give in to.

Do I love her?

I hope you liked my Grissom POV and – in case you didn't read it before – my Sara POV as well. Please let me know what you think of it. - Karin -