Memories by Hazel Dreamer
Chapter One: The Wedding
Wedding bells chimed. Everyone gaped at Lily as she entered the church in a simple pure white-coloured wedding gown. Her fiery red hair was piled up into an elegant French Twist at the back of her head, with some ringlets hanging down by the sides. James stood at the end of the aisle, speechless. She is so stunning, he thought. I must be the luckiest man on Earth!
~
Lily stood at the entrance of the church, slightly flustered. She could hardly believe that today was finally the day, the moment she had been waiting for. Everything seemed so perfect, so complete except for one thinga, perhaps. Lily tried hard to blink back her tears as she stared at the empty space beside her.
Father would be standing here, taking my hand and leading me down the aisle, if not for Voldemort, if not for me and Mother would be sitting in the front row, dabbing her eyes with that embroidered handkerchief she always carries around, gazing at me fondly with tears in her eyes
Lily was reminded of a sweet poem titled "Carousel", written by Lucinda Roy in memory of her father
~~~
I often spin around with you and hear
the fragile music of a carousel;
I feel your black arms round me in a heavy sweep
of closeness, taking me up on notes which fall
likes eggs through water.
I am older now
and you have fallen from the garish horse
a long time since, and I am holding on
with thin brown fingers. Do you know
it's been a quarter century since you
(with your voice like the man who plays God in the movies)
kissed me? I don't remember your kisses.
I remember you wearing striped pyjamas
and waving to me from the ward - your great hand
scooping a half-circle out of nothing;
how my brother almost choked on a Lifesaver
until a male nurse turned him upside down
and out came the white mint with the hole
that saved him.
I dreamed you died, and when I woke
my mother was by the bed. 'How will I light
the fire?' she said. I didn't know.
It was cold in our house; our breath came out
round as balloons and dissolved till we breathed
again. We learned to accommodate spaces
as you must have learned to accommodate...
but no. Where there is no place to put things,
no place for your bones or your slippers or my words
there cannot be a place for spaces.
It must be fine to know only lack of substance -
the round emptiness in an angel's trumpet -
and still hear music.
I have the things you made
and she has made us see you in them.
I have the ivory statues and the pictures
telling stories of African ancestors,
a birth, flights into Egypt. In your work
I find the stillness of your eyes and mouth
the stillness which is always at the centre
of the spinning ball we hurl high and long.
I often spin around with you and hear
the fragile music of a carousel.
My horse would gallop forward if I let him
but I prefer the swinging back to where
we were, slow undulations round and back
to identical place. I prefer to see
your black hands with mine on a crimson mane
which will never be swept back by the wind.
(A/N: Please read the poem! I did it for Literature last year and I have to admit that it's really great! It's very sincere and truthful, yet sorrowful.)
- Flashback -
Lily squealed as James plummeted her with snowballs.
"James!" she gasped, "Will you please stop that? Look, now I'm all drenched!"
James grinned wickedly. "Why should I?"
Lily glared at him, "Because if you don't, nobody will be going with you to the Christmas Ball"
"What?!? Me, James Potter, going to a ball alone? You've gotta be kidding Swarms of girls are dying to go to the ball with me, and you're giving up that chance in a lifetime?"
"Fine," Lily huffed, and trudged back to the castle, "I'll let you enjoy yourself as a bachelor during the ball. Have fun."
James chased after her, "Wait, Lily! I was only joking, please. I would die If you are not going with me to the ball. Really. Who else do you expect me to go with? Bertha Jorkins, that dork who's still single?"
Lily ignored him.
James enveloped her in a big bearhug. "Aw Lily, don't be so petty!" He kissed her and flashed his charming award-winning Potter smile.
Lily could not help but giggle. She tweaked his nose and hugged him back. "I can't wonder why I like such a big idiot like you."
"That's because you're an idiot yourse – "he was cut short by Professor McGonagall's appearance.
"Excuse me, Miss Evans. Could you please follow me to see Professor Dumbledore straight away?"
Lily nodded. She was surprised by Professor McGonagall's red-rimmed eyes and thick voice, but dared not question any further. She looked nervously at James, who nodded encouragingly at her.
"I'll go with you," James volunteered.
~
The rest of the day was dark and gloomy. Lily locked herself in her dormitory and refused to come out no matter how much coaxing James did. Voldemort had killed Lily's parents
- End of Flashback -
Till now, Lily still could not believe that her parents were screaming under the Cruciatus Curse as she and James were having a snowball fight. She could have been at home, fighting Voldemort and protecting her parents, instead of having a snowball fight for sheer enjoyment. She always cried thinking about it. But not today. Today was a special day, and she must not cry.
Lily shook her head and came back to reality. She realised that hundreds of people were looking intently at her, and quickly gathered herself and walked down the aisle, alone. Since she was left with nobody but Petunia, she had learnt many lessons. Independence was definitely one of them.
She saw James, handsomely dressed in a sleek black tuxedo. She knew that a brand new life was about to begin with James. James had made it all possible. She felt so secure with him. He seemed like a shield that protected her from wind and rain. She could tell him anything, and he wouldn't laugh. Most importantly, he loved her.
- To Be Continued -
© Hazel Dreamer 2002