DISCLAIMER: All the characters belong to the great people at UPN and
mutant enemy. Joss is the creator of them not me.
RATING: I'm not sure where I'm going with this yet, hopefully some place good. For now it's Pg-13 maybe some R or NC 17 later on.
***** Lyrics from Losing Grip by Avril Lavigne********
The crypt smelled heavily of smoke and dust resided in every possible surface. The refrigerator had been carelessly left open and mugs of congealed blood cluttered the one single table in the crypt. No candles were lit and the only source of light was the glare from the tiny TV. If you listened very carefully you could hear the characters of the cheesy daytime soap opera speaking. The only resident of this crypt had heightened hearing therefore there was no use for more volume.
Spike sat on his only chair with his deep blue eyes transfixed on the scene playing before him. In one hand he held a large half empty bottle of whiskey and in the other he clutched a picture of the only woman that held his heart in her palms. He pressed the bottle to his lips and chugged the hard liquor until his throat began to burn. He watched as the two lovers on the screen locked in a passionate kiss, he remembered when he and Buffy used to kiss like that. Even though she said it meant nothing to her you don't just kiss a person like that without feelings behind it.
What have I become? Spike thought. He had gone from a notorious, feared killer to a nancy boy who swooned over the pretty slayer. Oh god I've turned into my grandsire.
He remembered the good old days when he and Dru terrorized Europe, they were feared, they were respected, and even the most lethal demons knew their names. Now all he was is a pathetic lap dog for the slayer. He didn't know why he did what he did for her but the moment she asked for his help he was up and ready to please her.
He loved the way her skin glowed after hours of earth shattering sex, the way her nose crinkled when she giggled, the twinkle in her eyes he rarely saw anymore, he loved everything about her. He never remembered loving anyone so much, he loved her more than Drusilla and she meant the world to him. He looked down at the picture in his hands.
The night he took it was she had just slayed a nasty pussy demon, he adored the way she looked post battle. He took another long swig of his drink. She was wearing a pair of white Capri pants that accented her perfect legs along with a tight fitting white tank top that showed off her killer abs. Her hair had still been long then, he loved her long hair.
He felt so alone; he had nothing to call his own. He couldn't take being without her anymore, he was losing grip…..
******
Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby
Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you
Why'd you turn away?
Here's what I have to say
I was left to cry there, waiting outside there
Burning with a lost stare
That's when I decided
Why should I care
'Cuz you weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
You, you need to listen
I'm starting to trip, I'm losing my grip
And I'm in this thing alone
******
He wished he'd never slept with Anya, it was the thing he regretted most. He had screwed up any chance he had with Buffy for an ex demon who couldn't even get him off. You stupid wanker, Spike silently cursed at himself. Buffy was never going to forgive him for what he had done. He saw the hurt in her eyes that last night he saw her. He had followed through with all her requests. He hadn't come by in three weeks, three weeks too long.
He wished for nothing more than just to have her back in his arms, to hold her, kiss her, make love to her……. He took a finally taste of the strong liquid and whipped the bottle at the stone wall of the crypt. The bottle shattered producing a satisfying crash. Anger overwhelmed Spike. If only Buffy had accepted him for what he was not for what he wasn't. It was her fault they weren't together but it was his fault she hated him. There might have still been a tiny fraction of a chance if he hadn't screwed it up.
He knew she used him but he didn't care. He'd rather have some part of her then nothing at all. Why did his life have to be so pathetic? What had he come to? He was sitting in his crypt in the mid of day watching soaps and obsessing over the slayer. Why had things have to become so complicated? Why had he fallen in love with her?
A vampire's life was supposed to be simple, vampire kill slayer or slayer kill vampire.
Not vampire love and do slayer. He crumpled the picture in his hand into a little ball and threw it on the floor. He got off his chair and retrieved an unopened bottle of tequila. Not bothering to find a shot glass he vamped out and tore of the wrapping. He downed the bottle of tequila in a couple of minutes. He was going to drown his sorrows the best way he knew how. Get piss drunk and pass out. Spike made his way to the corner of his brand new crypt. After the soldier boy's return his crypt had been blow to pieces. He didn't mind this new place though, it was closer to Buffy. Stop thinking about her, he told himself. Even thought the crypt didn't have two floors it would do. Spike laid down on the satin sheets and stared at the ceiling.
He wondered what she was doing at the moment. At the thought of Buffy roaming the streets in broad daylight without him and with a normal human guy Spike's eye began to fill with unwanted tears. He was falling and falling fast. He needed her like he needed blood……
****TBC, yeye now we're getting to the good parts******
RATING: I'm not sure where I'm going with this yet, hopefully some place good. For now it's Pg-13 maybe some R or NC 17 later on.
***** Lyrics from Losing Grip by Avril Lavigne********
The crypt smelled heavily of smoke and dust resided in every possible surface. The refrigerator had been carelessly left open and mugs of congealed blood cluttered the one single table in the crypt. No candles were lit and the only source of light was the glare from the tiny TV. If you listened very carefully you could hear the characters of the cheesy daytime soap opera speaking. The only resident of this crypt had heightened hearing therefore there was no use for more volume.
Spike sat on his only chair with his deep blue eyes transfixed on the scene playing before him. In one hand he held a large half empty bottle of whiskey and in the other he clutched a picture of the only woman that held his heart in her palms. He pressed the bottle to his lips and chugged the hard liquor until his throat began to burn. He watched as the two lovers on the screen locked in a passionate kiss, he remembered when he and Buffy used to kiss like that. Even though she said it meant nothing to her you don't just kiss a person like that without feelings behind it.
What have I become? Spike thought. He had gone from a notorious, feared killer to a nancy boy who swooned over the pretty slayer. Oh god I've turned into my grandsire.
He remembered the good old days when he and Dru terrorized Europe, they were feared, they were respected, and even the most lethal demons knew their names. Now all he was is a pathetic lap dog for the slayer. He didn't know why he did what he did for her but the moment she asked for his help he was up and ready to please her.
He loved the way her skin glowed after hours of earth shattering sex, the way her nose crinkled when she giggled, the twinkle in her eyes he rarely saw anymore, he loved everything about her. He never remembered loving anyone so much, he loved her more than Drusilla and she meant the world to him. He looked down at the picture in his hands.
The night he took it was she had just slayed a nasty pussy demon, he adored the way she looked post battle. He took another long swig of his drink. She was wearing a pair of white Capri pants that accented her perfect legs along with a tight fitting white tank top that showed off her killer abs. Her hair had still been long then, he loved her long hair.
He felt so alone; he had nothing to call his own. He couldn't take being without her anymore, he was losing grip…..
******
Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby
Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you
Why'd you turn away?
Here's what I have to say
I was left to cry there, waiting outside there
Burning with a lost stare
That's when I decided
Why should I care
'Cuz you weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
You, you need to listen
I'm starting to trip, I'm losing my grip
And I'm in this thing alone
******
He wished he'd never slept with Anya, it was the thing he regretted most. He had screwed up any chance he had with Buffy for an ex demon who couldn't even get him off. You stupid wanker, Spike silently cursed at himself. Buffy was never going to forgive him for what he had done. He saw the hurt in her eyes that last night he saw her. He had followed through with all her requests. He hadn't come by in three weeks, three weeks too long.
He wished for nothing more than just to have her back in his arms, to hold her, kiss her, make love to her……. He took a finally taste of the strong liquid and whipped the bottle at the stone wall of the crypt. The bottle shattered producing a satisfying crash. Anger overwhelmed Spike. If only Buffy had accepted him for what he was not for what he wasn't. It was her fault they weren't together but it was his fault she hated him. There might have still been a tiny fraction of a chance if he hadn't screwed it up.
He knew she used him but he didn't care. He'd rather have some part of her then nothing at all. Why did his life have to be so pathetic? What had he come to? He was sitting in his crypt in the mid of day watching soaps and obsessing over the slayer. Why had things have to become so complicated? Why had he fallen in love with her?
A vampire's life was supposed to be simple, vampire kill slayer or slayer kill vampire.
Not vampire love and do slayer. He crumpled the picture in his hand into a little ball and threw it on the floor. He got off his chair and retrieved an unopened bottle of tequila. Not bothering to find a shot glass he vamped out and tore of the wrapping. He downed the bottle of tequila in a couple of minutes. He was going to drown his sorrows the best way he knew how. Get piss drunk and pass out. Spike made his way to the corner of his brand new crypt. After the soldier boy's return his crypt had been blow to pieces. He didn't mind this new place though, it was closer to Buffy. Stop thinking about her, he told himself. Even thought the crypt didn't have two floors it would do. Spike laid down on the satin sheets and stared at the ceiling.
He wondered what she was doing at the moment. At the thought of Buffy roaming the streets in broad daylight without him and with a normal human guy Spike's eye began to fill with unwanted tears. He was falling and falling fast. He needed her like he needed blood……
****TBC, yeye now we're getting to the good parts******