The TempestXtreme Talk Show!

Just 'cause she's pregnant doesn't mean you can insult her

By TempestXtreme

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own characters

Rebecca walked out on stage wearing…a maternity dress. The audience, though surprised, knew better than to say anything.

Well, except one woman. "Gees, you two have been busy haven't you?"

She got fireballed.

Three times.

Sighing, Rebecca turned back to the three magick-users behind her. Well, four really. Marrin just stood there, chuckling.

"Oh do be quiet," Rebecca said, glaring at them. "You guys didn't have to fireball her you know!"

"Our personal life is none of her business," Tempest said.

"She shouldn't insult a pregnant woman!" That came from Danielle.

"She should show respect for royalty!" Grylock said, crossing his arms across his chest.

Yes, O loyal subject. "Marrin, go Heal her."

Marrin glared. "Why?" she asked, wincing when her mother glared straight back. Being pregnant hasn't made her any less tough. "Fine, fine. I'm going…"

Marrin went off to Heal the crispy woman. Everybody else avoided her, cowering away as she glared at them. Rebecca sighed as the stage manager finally signalled that they were on air. At least nobody saw that little incident. Granted that the ratings would've gone up. Great, I'm sounding like a T.V. executive!

"Welcome to the TempestXtreme Talk Show! Here's your host, Tempest!"

Tempest walked on stage, smiled, and waved to the audience. "Hello and welcome to our show! Today we're interviewing people from Angel! Here's our first guest, Angel!"

As the crowd clapped, Angel ran on stage, barely able to avoid the 20 Flare Arrows that Danielle and Grylock sent his way. He blinked when they struck the invisible shields surrounding the studio, causing them to shake violently. I'd better not insult those two again…He sat down and smiled at Tempest. "You need control those two."

"How? They're not my subjects. They're from Trivadia, but the Elves rule themselves and answer only to their laws." Tempest waved a hand dismissively. "Anyway, welcome to my show."

Angel nodded. "Good to be here," he said, casting a wary look back at the two Elves backstage. Danielle glared at him and held up a fireball. Uh… "There's another way out of this studio, right?"

"Danielle and Grylock are standing in front of it."

"Crap."

Tempest chuckled and readied his questions. "First question. Why did you buy that hotel as your base of operations?"

Angel shrugged. "It was perfect, lots of rooms, plenty of shadows to hide under when it was daylight. Besides, I had just destroyed a spirit demon that had been living there. I felt I needed some kind of reward."

Tempest raised an eyebrow. "Right."

"What? You don't believe me?" Angel glared at him. Tempest just shrugged.

"Well, I figured that you could have hidden plenty of blood stashes in the place."

Angel sputtered. "WHAT?!"

"Oh come on! You're a vampire! Soul or no soul you still have to drink blood!"

Angel sputtered some more. He's good. "So what if I do?"

"Is any of it human blood?"

"No!" Angel was getting annoyed. "If you must no it's animal blood, mostly from cows and pigs."

"So THAT'S what happened to all of my farm animals!"

A rather annoyed looking man stormed on stage an proceeded to beat Angel into the floorboards with a spade. "YOU KILLED MY COWS! MY CHICKENS! MY PIGS!"

Angel got up, covered in bruises and cuts. "WOULD YOU STOP THAT?!"

Thus he got hit by a Freeze Bleed spell. "D-damn that's c-c-c-cold…"

Tempest burst out laughing, and the stage manager cut to commercials. As the screen faded out…

"Somebody get some tranquillisers!"

"No!"

"Hey Frank! Look out for the…"

WHAM! CRASH!!

"…Flying camera. REBECCA!"

"He deserved it!"

"Oh gods…"

*-*-*-*-*

While the commercials were running, Tempest opened a portal back to Los Angeles for a still cold Angel. "Sorry that Danielle gave you the cold shoulder."

Angel groaned and stepped into the portal. "That wasn't funny."

"Just go before I Gaav Flare you."

Grumbling, Angel stepped into the portal…and right into thin air. "Uh oh."

CRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAASH!!

"Angel! You OK??!"

"Yeah, Wesley, I'm fine." Angel glared up at the still open portal, blinking. "Um…find some cover."

"Why?"

Seconds later, the entire lobby of the hotel was plastered in bright, bright silver. Thus, all of the sunlight was reflected off of the walls. "ACK!" Angel ducked into a still-shadowed room and screamed up at the portal. "TEMPEST I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!" He sighed when a hand came through the portal and gave him the one-finger salute.

"Who's Tempest?"

"A maniac with a sadistic sense of humour."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"That was cruel."

"But it was the dust bunnies' idea!" Tempest chuckled before bursting out into insane laughter. Rebecca sighed.

He's insane. But then again, that's one of the reasons I love him! Rebecca also burst out laughing.

The audience sat in silent terror as this show of insanity ended

The End! ^_^