The TempestXtreme Talk Show!

The Return of a certain insane Elf ^_^

By TempestXtreme

Disclaimer: I own my own characters and nothing else.

Eve walked out on stage, wearing her usual black jeans/black kimono/black boots/black gloves outfit. She smiled and waved at the guests, not really minding when some of the men wolf-whistled. She knew she was, for lack of a better term, hot. Working out for 5 hours straight every day really paid off.

"Welcome to the TempestXtreme Talk Show! Here's your host, Tempest!"

Tempest walked on stage, and waved to the audience. "Welcome to my show! Today we're…"

A bright flash of light caught his attention, and he turned to face…

…Lashana, a grinning Lashana and an equally grinning Telca standing next to her. The only thing he could come up with was… "HOLY SHIT! GHOSTS!!"

With that, the mighty Tempest fell over in a dead faint.

*-*-*-*-*

"Chicken-Boy? HEY TEMPEST! WAKE THE HELL UP!!"

Tempest would've had to be dead not to hear Telca's scream. He opened his eyes, and found that he was staring right into Telca's purple eyes. Gotta make sure…

Tempest stood up and slapped Telca, receiving not only a glare but also a right hook. OK, OW! "Should've known that you two were too damn stubborn to die."

Telca continued to glare at him. "Why did you slap me?!" she asked, her eyes amber. Tempest shrugged.

"To make sure that you weren't a ghost."

"Wuss." Lashana grinned as she left the camera guy alone long enough to wave at Tempest. "Heyla Chicken-Boy! Did'ya miss us?"

"No."

"Har, har, very funny." Telca glared at him. Tempest ignored it.

Tempest grinned. "I know, wasn't it?"

"Dad don't aggravate the insane sorceresses," Eve said. "It's bad for your health."

Tempest rolled his eyes. "All right, all right. Hey, where's the guest?"

"Soi? She ran into those two." Eve pointed at Lashana and Telca. "She ran off so fast that I there was a trail of fire behind her."

Tempest sighed. "And the other guests?"

"Haven't arrived yet."

"Damn."

"Guests are here!" Frank, the stage manager, looked at Tempest and seemed relieved. "Oh good, you're awake."

Tempest sighed. "Good. Maybe now I can have a good show." He looked at the two Sorceresses. "You can watch from backstage, just don't blow up the studio. The shields probably wouldn't be able to stand the Dragon Slaves and the Flare Arrows."

The glares that they sent him could have melted glass. Actually, after he was gone, some poor stage person was walking by while they were still glaring at Tempest – the tray of glasses that he was holding melted into a small pool in the tray.

He ran off screaming.

*-*-*-*-*

"Sorry about that, folks," Tempest said. "I was just overcome by the sudden reappearance of my friends. Anyway, since our first guest ran off, we'll introduce our next guest: Leonardo Di Caprio!"

Leo came on stage, waving – not expecting the hail of Fireballs, Flare Arrows and Freeze Bleed spells that were sent his way by the all-male, all-sorcerer audience.

"ACK! I'm outta here!"

He ran out of the studio, his hair having been frozen and then set alight. Tempest fell over, laughing. "WUSS!"

Eve cackled. "THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO TRY AND PICK ME UP!!!"

*-*-*-*-*

Lashana and Telca looked at each other. "Well, he hasn't gotten any less insane," Lashana said.

"Or cruel towards certain people," Telca replied, grinning. "I pity Leo, though, trying to pick Eve up. He had this coming."

"True."

"Our next guest is…Ricki Martin!"

"RICKI MARTIN?!"

*-*-*-*-*

Ricki Martin was on stage for a whole minute before he had Eve beating him into the ground. "I HATE YOU! YOU LITTLE LATIN PIECE OF SHIT! YOU'RE NOT SEXY YOU PANSY!!!"

Tempest managed to pry his daughter off of the Latin superstar long enough for him to escape the studio – covered in cuts, blood and bruises. Eve sent a few Freeze Arrows after him, missing her target and freezing the next guest – who just happened to be Xellos. "Oops."

Tempest sighed and turned to the audience. "I guess that's all for today," he said. "Join us next time!"

As the screen faded out…

"Lashana-chan! Telca-chan!"

"RA-TILT!"

"CRUCIO!"

"He doesn't look too good."

"Eve, do we really care?"

"Nope."

"Hell no."

"That's what I thought."

The End ^_^