The TempestXtreme Talk Show!

Cartoon mayhem!

By TempestXtreme

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own characters.

Eve walked out on stage and waved to the audience. "Welcome to the TempestXtreme Talk Show! Here's your host, Tempest!"

Tempest walked out on stage and waved. "I have some happy news!" he said. "Last night, Rebecca gave birth to a baby boy! I have a son!"

Crickets chirped. And then Lashana came out from backstage and gave Tempest a rib-crushing hug. "Congratulations, Chicken-Boy!" she said.

"Lashana…I need to…breathe!!"

"Whoops, sorry."

"Gees, when did you get so strong??"

Lashana shrugged. "I've always been strong."

"Oh, right. Elven strength," Tempest said. "Anyway, I need to get on with the show."

Lashana nodded and went backstage. "Still, this is good news."

This coming from somebody who can't stand babies…

Tempest turned back to the audience. "Our first guests, Ed, Edd and Eddy!"

More crickets chirped, and then, in one voice, the audience said: "WHAT?!"

Tempest glanced at Eve, who just shrugged. ~Told you they'd be shocked,~ she said mentally.

"Yeah, yeah…" Tempest replied in thought.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Lashana glanced at Telca. "He really is nuts."

"Why? Because he's invited those three idiots onto his show?"

"Well, yeah."

"Oh come on, it'll entertaining."

"True."

*-*-*-*-*-*

"My yeast is rising!"

Tempest glanced at Ed, his eyebrow raised. "Rrrrrrriiiiiight…"

"Oh my, this place is clean!" Edd said, looking around the studio.

Eddy just sat there, looking bored and gazing at the audience, belatedly wondering if he could con them out their money. "This stinks!"

"Yeah, kinda like your plans," Tempest said under his breath. Then, he turned to the Ed's, and smiled. "Welcome to my show!"

"The oranges are rebelling!" Ed said, grinning stupidly.

"It's nice to be here," Edd said.

"Yeah, yeah," Eddy said in a bored tone. Tempest shrugged.

"First question!" he said. "Double-D! What's with your obsession about cleanliness?"

Edd blinked. "What??" he asked.

Tempest grinned – he was kind of sadistic when he asked these kinds of questions. "You heard me."

Edd blinked again. "Well, cleanliness is next to godliness, so they say…"

"Did you know that there are bacteria in your digestive tract that help you digest food?" Tempest asked, grinning.

"There are WHAT?!!?" Edd stood up and started running around the stage in a blind panic, until he ran off of the stage and landed…right on top of Xellos.

"Hello there!"

"AAAAAAAH!!!"

Tempest chuckled as Xellos chased Edd around the stage. I love this job!

~That was cruel, Dad.~

"So I don't like that guy. So sue me."

~I just might.~

Tempest rolled his eyes, and noticed that Eddy was trying to sneak away. "Oh no you don't!"

Tempest opened a portal directly underneath the poor guy and sent him right into Rebecca's room, knowing damn well that she was going to toss the poor guy (and him, later) into a wall, but he just didn't really care. Lastly, he turned to Ed, who was chewing on the chair. I knew that he wasn't too bright, but he's eating my furniture!

"Hey Ed! Play with this!" Eve said, tossing a small incendiary grenade to him.

"Oh cool! An egg!" Ed said, seconds before the grenade blew up, sending him flying through a wall. Tempest glanced at Eve, who smirked.

"He had that coming," she said. Tempest chuckled.

*-*-*-*

Lashana and Telca were way too busy wondering when Tempest had developed this sadistic streak to say anything.

*-*-*-*

Tempest cackled as he rounded up the three Ed's and planted them all in the middle of the stage. He grinned as he tied them all up in a red bow and placed a heart on their chests.

"Oh girls!" he said. "Your boyfriends are waiting for you!!"

Seconds later, the Canker Sisters rushed out on stage and started kissing the Ed's before forcing them to eat their cooking.

Tempest burst out laughing.

*-*-*-*

"Um, any idea when he developed this evil streak?" Lashana asked, glancing at her friend and doing a double take when she saw Telca holding a video camera up and taping the entire scene. She brought her hand up to her forehead in an exasperated smack. "Oy…"

*-*-*-*

Tempest grinned and opened a portal beneath the group of guests and sent them all into the Canker sisters' trailer, grinning at the combined screams of horror and screeches of joy that he heard seconds before the portal closed. He turned to say goodbye to the audience, blinking when he saw that they had all run away.

"What'd I do??"

The End