The TempestXtreme Talk Show!!

Da Grand Finale!!

By TempestXtreme

Rebecca walked out on stage and waved to the audience. "Welcome to the TempestXtreme Talk Show! Here's your host, Tempest!"

Tempest walked out on stage and waved. "Hello and welcome to my show! Today is our final episode, as I am retiring from show business. So our guests today will be guests from past episodes!"

The audience sat in stunned silence.

"Gees, you'd think that I told them that I'm dying…" Tempest said.

"You're DYING?!"

Tempest jumped in shock. "NO!"

"Oh, never mind then!"

Tempest sighed. "Our first guest, from Final Fantasy 9, Kuja!"

Kuja came on stage and sat down, looking as if he were planning something devious. Like what? To take over every single cheese company and raise the price of cheese?

"Welcome to my show!" Tempest said. "So! What have you been doing since you were last on the show?"

"Taking over the cheese companies and raising the price of cheese!"

"WHAT?!" Tempest twitched, and Kuja blinked.

"What did I say?" he asked.

"Nothing," Tempest said. "Nothing at all…"

Rebecca chuckled, although she had no idea what her husband had been thinking. "Somehow I think that you asked for that," she said, smirking.

Tempest tried to glare at her, but failed. He could never be truly angry with Rebecca – she was just too damned beautiful, kind and sweet! He turned back to Kuja.

"Aside from raising the price of cheese, what else have you been doing?"

"Planning global domination," Kuja said casually. Tempest raised an eyebrow.

"Then I have to do this," he said. Kuja looked at him.

"What?"

Tempest pulled out his fusion cannon and grinned. "Bye! Thanks for being on my show!" he said, and fired the cannon – he missed and hit the stage manager. "Oops."

Kuja laughed. "Ha! You can't aim!"

POW!!!

Kuja was sent flying when Tempest calmly grabbed a camera and used it like a baseball bat and slammed it into Kuja's face.

"Didn't miss that time, did I?" Tempest smirked and tossed the camera behind him, not bothered when it hit an audience member. He turned and grinned.

"Our next guest is…" he paused for effect. "Ultimecia!"

"WHAT?!?!" Rebecca glared at her husband. "AGAIN!?"

"Yes, I am here!"

Ultimecia sat down and smirked at Rebecca. "Hello, Rebecca. How are you going to hurt me now? You don't have any magick anymore!"

Rebecca smiled. "No, but I do have super-strength."

"What?"

Rebecca ripped one of the support beams from the ground and slammed it over Ultimecia's head as hard as she could, resulting in a comatose sorceress.

"Bitch." Rebecca calmly tossed the pole behind her, and the pole hit the same audience member that got hit by the camera.

"Uh, Rebecca? You just ripped the main support pillar out of the ground," said Tempest, just as the studio started to show signs of collapsing.

"Oops."

CRAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHH!!!

"Well, I wanted to end the show off spectacularly…"

"Bye folks! It's been fun!"

The End….?