---------------------------------------------
"Me, sire?" Katinka asked, pretending to be surprised.
"Yeah, you heard me," said Kuzco, uninterested, "you're the new village leader – think you can handle that Katink…a?"
"Well, I shall do my best sire – you know I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize the empire." Katinka said, waving her arm in the air triumphantly.
"Right – well, I'd pretend to care, but there's just ONE itsy-bitsy, teeny- weeny problem…I'M THE EMPEROR! I don't HAVE to care."
"Very good sire – you're very, er, witty."
"Yeah, well…" said Kuzco, flicking a speech of dirt from his eye, "I try."
"Now quickly – get out of here before I catch ugliness disease from you."
"O-of course sire." Said Katinka through her teeth.
"Are you still here?" Kuzco asked snidely.
Katinka opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, Kuzco piped in with "I really hope for your sake there's no answer…"
Katinka walked towards the door and said, "I won't fail you sire – it is my greatest wish to serve the empire with dignity and poise-"
"Do you hear something Mr. Hand?" Kuzco said to his hand, back to the door.
"Well gee Kuzco – I'd like to tell you, but you're just SO great, it would be incredibly rude for a modest hand like me to speak in your presence." Kuzco said in a high pitch voice through his hand.
"Oh Mr. Hand! You always did know the right things to say! Why didn't I marry you?" Said Kuzco in a loving tone.
Katinka slipped out the door silently and backward, keeping her eye on Kuzco every moment until she shut the door. Once she did, she turned her head around, gave it a shake, and then walked down the hall of Kuzco worship. When the hallway intersected with another, Yzma trotted alongside Yzma, down the hall.
"So? What did he want? What did he want? What did he want?" Yzma asked excitedly.
"Will you kindly stop talking? I really don't feel the need to talk to someone below my level of intellect."
"How DARE YOU! I do NOT have to stop talking! I am the leader of this operation and don't you forget it!" said Yzma, jumping up and Katinka and grasping the thin strap of her dress.
"Get OFF ME you little fur ball!" cried Katinka, throwing Yzma off herself.
"Well at LEAST I make fur ball look good – which is more than I can say for YOU." Said Yzma.
"WHY YOU LITTLE." Katinka's veins were popping out of her neck.
"What did he say? What did he say? What did he say?"
"Oh ALRIGHT! He put me in charge of the main village – apparently Pacha has been put in prison."
"Well, well, well…looks like Taline has managed quite well." Said Yzma.
"Yes, but we must not forget the plan! Once Kuzco is out of the picture and WE are placed next in line, Taline must be repaid for her, -ahem- task."
Katinka began laughing evilly. Yzma, not to be outdone let out a louder and longer laugh. Katinka gave Yzma a dirty look and laughed even LOUDER and longer. Yzma tried even louder, but mid-way through she choked on a hairball, which she promptly spit out. Yzma then scratched Katinka's ankle as payback, they ran away laughing evilly – Katinka shook her fist threateningly at the running Yzma.
"YOU FOOL! YOU CANNOT OUT DO MY EVILNESS!" Katinka cried.
"That's what YOU think Katinka!" said Yzma, before promptly running into the wall at the end of the hall.
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"What does the book say?" Yzma asked, perched on a stool in Katinka's loft.
"I-it says to add venomous extract of venom." Said Taline, keeping her finger on the line she was reading.
"Well, luckily I always kept a secret cupboard full of potions…there is no way Katinka got rid of that!" said Yzma, laughing evilly.
"You really need some therapy for that laugh…"
Yzma hopped down off the stool and trotted towards a brick fireplace.
"Don't tell me you press the loose brick?" Taline said patronizingly.
"Of course not! How stupid do you think I am?"
Taline opened her mouth to answer, squinting her eyes and putting her thumb and index finger a fraction of an inch apart.
"Don't answer that!" Yzma shouted quickly, "Now which one was it? Ah yes!"
Yzma pushed in the loose brick on the fireplace; the inside of the fire place, where the logs had been gave way and a new platform appeared – a shelf filled with…
"CLOTHES? " Yzma exclaimed, "She filled my closet with CLOTHES????"
"Ok Yzma…just calm down." Said Taline, slowly walking over to Yzma, her hand down low in case Yzma tried to pounce.
"CALM DOWN? WHERE ARE WE GOING TO GET VENOMOUS EXTRCACT OF VENOM?"
"I could go get some from the market-"
"NO! YOU CAN'T JUST GET IT FROM THE MARKET! I-" Yzma stopped yelling suddenly and lifted up her paw where she had been leaning – another loose brick, another trap door. The second trap door appeared, filled with potions.
"Oh…those were, uh, MY clothes." Yzma said sheepishly, "no matter! Grab the venom and let's make me human again!"
Taline grabbed the potion obediently and brought it over to the table. Taline poured it into the pot and a pink puff of smoke rose up. Taline poured it into a glass and presented it to Yzma. Yzma went for a sip when WHAM! Katinka appeared off the roller coaster. Her fall was so strong that the potion slipped from Yzma's paws.
"YOU – YOU FOOL!" Yzma yelled, "THAT WAS MY ONE CHANCE TO TURN HUMAN AGAIN! I DON'T HAVE ANYNMORE OF THAT VENOM!"
"SILENCE!" Katinka screamed, "I must get ready for my big debut as leader of the village!"
"Forget that! How will I ever become human again? Do you know what it's like to be a cat? DO YOU?"
"Oh Yzma! I'm so sorry to hear about your pain – perhaps I could mix you up another potion…say, a POISON!!"
"ENOUGH!" yelled Taline, "all you have to do is send some of the villagers to get your venomous vermin of extra."
"THAT'S Venomous extract of VENOM." Yzma said, pointing her finger in the air.
"Whatever."
"Wait just a second! It's BRILLIANT!" Katinka cried.
"What is?" Yzma asked.
"My plan! I just thought of it! Why don't we send some of the VILLAGERS to get the venom?"
Yzma's face brightened. She ran over to Katinka and jumped into her arms.
"Oh Katinka! We're geniuses! Nothing can stand in the way of our brilliance!"
"NOW WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE!" Taline said, standing up.
"Not now, girl! We have much too much evil scheming to do."
Taline sat back down and crossed her arms in a pout, while Yzma and Katinka walked off talking.
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Several men rolled a huge head with Katinka's likeness along a small hill, meanwhile another man stood at the base of what looked like Katinka's body – he was directing some other men while they pulled the statue up with ropes. Several women looked angrily at their basin of soap water as they washed some large flags – flags with Katinka's face on them. Those women got their flags from the women working busily at the table next to them – they were sewing a ton of the flags. Other Children were working in a fast assembly line, passing colored flowers down the line until the few children at the end planted them in the large patch of dirt. They were ordered to plant the flowers in such a way that it would resemble Katinka's face.
"Keep it moving!" said Katinka, walking with her arms crossed by the children, "move FASTER!"
"This is awful!" said Tipo angrily to his sister who was next in line.
"Nu-uh! It's HORRIBLE."
"AWFUL!"
"HORRIBLE"
"Nu-uh"
"Ya-huh"
"Nu-uh"
"Ya-huh"
"Nu-uh"
"Ya-huh"
"THAT'S NOT THE WAY TO DO IT! SAY "IS NOT" and "IS TOO" snapped Katinka as she walked passed.
"AND GET BACK TO WORK!" she added.
All the huts had been plastered with pictures of Katinka; there were already three stone statures of her; all the gardens were planted in her likeness. Katinka walked with Yzma in her arms to the top of the village, where her hut was.
"PEOPLE OF KATINKAVILLE!" she announced, "I WANT YOU ALL TO STOP WORKING SO THAT YOU CAN WATCH THE FLAG RAISING CEREMONY."
"-Ahem-" she said, nudging the man beside her.
The man jumped and ran over to the flagpole – he pulled the string and raised the flag. Katinka paused, waiting for applause – crickets began chirping.
"CHEER FOR ME OR SUFFER!" Katinka screamed.
Suddenly there was a loud roar from the villagers – whistling, clapping and cheering.
"Much better."
Katinka walked down to the bottom of the village where everyone was still busily turning the village into Katinkaville.
"People of Katinkaville!" Katinka started, "I want all of you to line up so that I may pick three of you to go on a little…er…quest."
"Pick the girl over there! Pick the girl over there!" whispered Yzma, pointing at Kara.
"NO!"
"Oh…you're so mean! We never do what I want!" Yzma pouted.
Katinka walked down the line, eyeing up all the villagers.
"You…. you…aaannnnd…. you." she pointed at a short, stout man; a tall and thin man; and a beautiful woman.
"And what might this 'quest' be…exactly?" the stout man asked.
"Enough questions! Must you be so nosy?" snapped Katinka, "I am sending you to fetch me some venom."
"V-venom?" the tall man stuttered, "how do you propose we find that?"
"IDIOTS! You must go deep into the jungle and find the giant king tree snake. Then, you must get it to spit in this vile." Said Katinka, pulling out an empty glass bottle.
"How are we going to do that?" the women asked incredulously.
"I don't know – I don't CARE! All I know is you better not come back without it or you'll be SORRY! NOW GO!"
The three villagers set off into the forest – Katinka and Yzma watched until they were out of sight.
"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Yzma laughed, "I'll be human in NO TIME!"
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"I can't believe that man!" Chica said angrily to her children that night, "what was he thinking putting that…that…WOMAN in charge of this village? If Pacha were here right now…"
Chica sat down on the stool in her kitchen.
"Why don't we go get him?" Tipo asked.
"We can't do that! He's in the big palace…we'd could never do it…" Chica said sadly – suddenly a smile grew across her face, "or maybe we could…"
"What mommy?" her daughter asked.
"Ok…here's what we do."
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Chica and her children ran out of their house – all dressed in dark hooded cloaks. Chica paused, looked for one of Kuzco's guards that Katinka had ordered to keep watch – he had his back turned. They seized the opportunity and ran towards the next hut, not far from theirs. Chica knocked on the door and whispered something to the person who answered. That person rushed into their house, then rushed back out with a dark cloak on also. They all went to the next house and knocked – that person ran out with a dark hooded cloak on. Soon the whole village was following Chica, all wearing dark, hooded cloaks. Several of them had lit torches, some had pitchforks, some were riding llamas…but they were all headed the same way – out of the village. Kronk, who Yzma had assigned to watch Katinka's hut at the top of the hill saw the people leaving the village – he quickly ran into Katinka's hut.
"KATINKA!" he shouted.
Katinka rose from her bed – Yzma, who had been sleeping on her head was flung into Kronk's face.
"WHAT DO YOU NEED KRONK??" she snapped.
Kronk was pulling, trying to get Yzma off his face. He finally did.
"The whole village! The whole village is leaving!"
"WHAT?" Yzma and Katinka shouted in unison.
"How could this be? We have guards at every post!"
"Well, there's Harry down there at the bottom – he likes to play blackjack with the squirrels, then there's Sam up above him – he usually takes this time to catch up on his reading…then there's-"
"ENOGUH! WE MUST GET TO PALACE! QUICKLY!" Katinka yelled, "THEY ARE PLANNING SOMETHING…WE CAN'T LET THEM RUIN OUR PLAN! WE'VE WORED MUCH TO HARD."
"We shall take a shortcut I know…if we move fast we can cut them off before they even come close to Kuzco or the palace."
"Alright…we have to make sure they don't get there first! This plan has come much to far to be ruined by some village idiots!"
They quickly clambered into the tent on Kronk's back and they were off.
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"Me, sire?" Katinka asked, pretending to be surprised.
"Yeah, you heard me," said Kuzco, uninterested, "you're the new village leader – think you can handle that Katink…a?"
"Well, I shall do my best sire – you know I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize the empire." Katinka said, waving her arm in the air triumphantly.
"Right – well, I'd pretend to care, but there's just ONE itsy-bitsy, teeny- weeny problem…I'M THE EMPEROR! I don't HAVE to care."
"Very good sire – you're very, er, witty."
"Yeah, well…" said Kuzco, flicking a speech of dirt from his eye, "I try."
"Now quickly – get out of here before I catch ugliness disease from you."
"O-of course sire." Said Katinka through her teeth.
"Are you still here?" Kuzco asked snidely.
Katinka opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, Kuzco piped in with "I really hope for your sake there's no answer…"
Katinka walked towards the door and said, "I won't fail you sire – it is my greatest wish to serve the empire with dignity and poise-"
"Do you hear something Mr. Hand?" Kuzco said to his hand, back to the door.
"Well gee Kuzco – I'd like to tell you, but you're just SO great, it would be incredibly rude for a modest hand like me to speak in your presence." Kuzco said in a high pitch voice through his hand.
"Oh Mr. Hand! You always did know the right things to say! Why didn't I marry you?" Said Kuzco in a loving tone.
Katinka slipped out the door silently and backward, keeping her eye on Kuzco every moment until she shut the door. Once she did, she turned her head around, gave it a shake, and then walked down the hall of Kuzco worship. When the hallway intersected with another, Yzma trotted alongside Yzma, down the hall.
"So? What did he want? What did he want? What did he want?" Yzma asked excitedly.
"Will you kindly stop talking? I really don't feel the need to talk to someone below my level of intellect."
"How DARE YOU! I do NOT have to stop talking! I am the leader of this operation and don't you forget it!" said Yzma, jumping up and Katinka and grasping the thin strap of her dress.
"Get OFF ME you little fur ball!" cried Katinka, throwing Yzma off herself.
"Well at LEAST I make fur ball look good – which is more than I can say for YOU." Said Yzma.
"WHY YOU LITTLE." Katinka's veins were popping out of her neck.
"What did he say? What did he say? What did he say?"
"Oh ALRIGHT! He put me in charge of the main village – apparently Pacha has been put in prison."
"Well, well, well…looks like Taline has managed quite well." Said Yzma.
"Yes, but we must not forget the plan! Once Kuzco is out of the picture and WE are placed next in line, Taline must be repaid for her, -ahem- task."
Katinka began laughing evilly. Yzma, not to be outdone let out a louder and longer laugh. Katinka gave Yzma a dirty look and laughed even LOUDER and longer. Yzma tried even louder, but mid-way through she choked on a hairball, which she promptly spit out. Yzma then scratched Katinka's ankle as payback, they ran away laughing evilly – Katinka shook her fist threateningly at the running Yzma.
"YOU FOOL! YOU CANNOT OUT DO MY EVILNESS!" Katinka cried.
"That's what YOU think Katinka!" said Yzma, before promptly running into the wall at the end of the hall.
------------------------------------------------------------------
"What does the book say?" Yzma asked, perched on a stool in Katinka's loft.
"I-it says to add venomous extract of venom." Said Taline, keeping her finger on the line she was reading.
"Well, luckily I always kept a secret cupboard full of potions…there is no way Katinka got rid of that!" said Yzma, laughing evilly.
"You really need some therapy for that laugh…"
Yzma hopped down off the stool and trotted towards a brick fireplace.
"Don't tell me you press the loose brick?" Taline said patronizingly.
"Of course not! How stupid do you think I am?"
Taline opened her mouth to answer, squinting her eyes and putting her thumb and index finger a fraction of an inch apart.
"Don't answer that!" Yzma shouted quickly, "Now which one was it? Ah yes!"
Yzma pushed in the loose brick on the fireplace; the inside of the fire place, where the logs had been gave way and a new platform appeared – a shelf filled with…
"CLOTHES? " Yzma exclaimed, "She filled my closet with CLOTHES????"
"Ok Yzma…just calm down." Said Taline, slowly walking over to Yzma, her hand down low in case Yzma tried to pounce.
"CALM DOWN? WHERE ARE WE GOING TO GET VENOMOUS EXTRCACT OF VENOM?"
"I could go get some from the market-"
"NO! YOU CAN'T JUST GET IT FROM THE MARKET! I-" Yzma stopped yelling suddenly and lifted up her paw where she had been leaning – another loose brick, another trap door. The second trap door appeared, filled with potions.
"Oh…those were, uh, MY clothes." Yzma said sheepishly, "no matter! Grab the venom and let's make me human again!"
Taline grabbed the potion obediently and brought it over to the table. Taline poured it into the pot and a pink puff of smoke rose up. Taline poured it into a glass and presented it to Yzma. Yzma went for a sip when WHAM! Katinka appeared off the roller coaster. Her fall was so strong that the potion slipped from Yzma's paws.
"YOU – YOU FOOL!" Yzma yelled, "THAT WAS MY ONE CHANCE TO TURN HUMAN AGAIN! I DON'T HAVE ANYNMORE OF THAT VENOM!"
"SILENCE!" Katinka screamed, "I must get ready for my big debut as leader of the village!"
"Forget that! How will I ever become human again? Do you know what it's like to be a cat? DO YOU?"
"Oh Yzma! I'm so sorry to hear about your pain – perhaps I could mix you up another potion…say, a POISON!!"
"ENOUGH!" yelled Taline, "all you have to do is send some of the villagers to get your venomous vermin of extra."
"THAT'S Venomous extract of VENOM." Yzma said, pointing her finger in the air.
"Whatever."
"Wait just a second! It's BRILLIANT!" Katinka cried.
"What is?" Yzma asked.
"My plan! I just thought of it! Why don't we send some of the VILLAGERS to get the venom?"
Yzma's face brightened. She ran over to Katinka and jumped into her arms.
"Oh Katinka! We're geniuses! Nothing can stand in the way of our brilliance!"
"NOW WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE!" Taline said, standing up.
"Not now, girl! We have much too much evil scheming to do."
Taline sat back down and crossed her arms in a pout, while Yzma and Katinka walked off talking.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Several men rolled a huge head with Katinka's likeness along a small hill, meanwhile another man stood at the base of what looked like Katinka's body – he was directing some other men while they pulled the statue up with ropes. Several women looked angrily at their basin of soap water as they washed some large flags – flags with Katinka's face on them. Those women got their flags from the women working busily at the table next to them – they were sewing a ton of the flags. Other Children were working in a fast assembly line, passing colored flowers down the line until the few children at the end planted them in the large patch of dirt. They were ordered to plant the flowers in such a way that it would resemble Katinka's face.
"Keep it moving!" said Katinka, walking with her arms crossed by the children, "move FASTER!"
"This is awful!" said Tipo angrily to his sister who was next in line.
"Nu-uh! It's HORRIBLE."
"AWFUL!"
"HORRIBLE"
"Nu-uh"
"Ya-huh"
"Nu-uh"
"Ya-huh"
"Nu-uh"
"Ya-huh"
"THAT'S NOT THE WAY TO DO IT! SAY "IS NOT" and "IS TOO" snapped Katinka as she walked passed.
"AND GET BACK TO WORK!" she added.
All the huts had been plastered with pictures of Katinka; there were already three stone statures of her; all the gardens were planted in her likeness. Katinka walked with Yzma in her arms to the top of the village, where her hut was.
"PEOPLE OF KATINKAVILLE!" she announced, "I WANT YOU ALL TO STOP WORKING SO THAT YOU CAN WATCH THE FLAG RAISING CEREMONY."
"-Ahem-" she said, nudging the man beside her.
The man jumped and ran over to the flagpole – he pulled the string and raised the flag. Katinka paused, waiting for applause – crickets began chirping.
"CHEER FOR ME OR SUFFER!" Katinka screamed.
Suddenly there was a loud roar from the villagers – whistling, clapping and cheering.
"Much better."
Katinka walked down to the bottom of the village where everyone was still busily turning the village into Katinkaville.
"People of Katinkaville!" Katinka started, "I want all of you to line up so that I may pick three of you to go on a little…er…quest."
"Pick the girl over there! Pick the girl over there!" whispered Yzma, pointing at Kara.
"NO!"
"Oh…you're so mean! We never do what I want!" Yzma pouted.
Katinka walked down the line, eyeing up all the villagers.
"You…. you…aaannnnd…. you." she pointed at a short, stout man; a tall and thin man; and a beautiful woman.
"And what might this 'quest' be…exactly?" the stout man asked.
"Enough questions! Must you be so nosy?" snapped Katinka, "I am sending you to fetch me some venom."
"V-venom?" the tall man stuttered, "how do you propose we find that?"
"IDIOTS! You must go deep into the jungle and find the giant king tree snake. Then, you must get it to spit in this vile." Said Katinka, pulling out an empty glass bottle.
"How are we going to do that?" the women asked incredulously.
"I don't know – I don't CARE! All I know is you better not come back without it or you'll be SORRY! NOW GO!"
The three villagers set off into the forest – Katinka and Yzma watched until they were out of sight.
"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Yzma laughed, "I'll be human in NO TIME!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I can't believe that man!" Chica said angrily to her children that night, "what was he thinking putting that…that…WOMAN in charge of this village? If Pacha were here right now…"
Chica sat down on the stool in her kitchen.
"Why don't we go get him?" Tipo asked.
"We can't do that! He's in the big palace…we'd could never do it…" Chica said sadly – suddenly a smile grew across her face, "or maybe we could…"
"What mommy?" her daughter asked.
"Ok…here's what we do."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chica and her children ran out of their house – all dressed in dark hooded cloaks. Chica paused, looked for one of Kuzco's guards that Katinka had ordered to keep watch – he had his back turned. They seized the opportunity and ran towards the next hut, not far from theirs. Chica knocked on the door and whispered something to the person who answered. That person rushed into their house, then rushed back out with a dark cloak on also. They all went to the next house and knocked – that person ran out with a dark hooded cloak on. Soon the whole village was following Chica, all wearing dark, hooded cloaks. Several of them had lit torches, some had pitchforks, some were riding llamas…but they were all headed the same way – out of the village. Kronk, who Yzma had assigned to watch Katinka's hut at the top of the hill saw the people leaving the village – he quickly ran into Katinka's hut.
"KATINKA!" he shouted.
Katinka rose from her bed – Yzma, who had been sleeping on her head was flung into Kronk's face.
"WHAT DO YOU NEED KRONK??" she snapped.
Kronk was pulling, trying to get Yzma off his face. He finally did.
"The whole village! The whole village is leaving!"
"WHAT?" Yzma and Katinka shouted in unison.
"How could this be? We have guards at every post!"
"Well, there's Harry down there at the bottom – he likes to play blackjack with the squirrels, then there's Sam up above him – he usually takes this time to catch up on his reading…then there's-"
"ENOGUH! WE MUST GET TO PALACE! QUICKLY!" Katinka yelled, "THEY ARE PLANNING SOMETHING…WE CAN'T LET THEM RUIN OUR PLAN! WE'VE WORED MUCH TO HARD."
"We shall take a shortcut I know…if we move fast we can cut them off before they even come close to Kuzco or the palace."
"Alright…we have to make sure they don't get there first! This plan has come much to far to be ruined by some village idiots!"
They quickly clambered into the tent on Kronk's back and they were off.
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