Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon! But if I did… :D

A/N: Many thanks to KoNy, Debbie4u, EllaJ.W, Sapphire Goddess, zara, Arrei, and Faeryfish! You're reviews were, and are^_^, greatly appreciated!

Three Days by ThatGirl

~chapter three, Day Three~

Dear Matt      03.00 pm     11/3-2002

Things aren't looking up. Today is the last day, and they're going to unplug you from that machine, Matt. They say you probably won't make it. That you're still to injured and weak to breathe on your own. That you'll die a peaceful death without any pain, without even knowing you just died.

You won't ever walk down the hall in school again. You won't ever say "Hi, squirt," again and give me a hug, and you'll never ever going to see the sun again, not even for one last time. People will miss your voice when you sing, and your friends and I will miss…

We'll miss you.

Your empty seat in the classroom will shine with your absence. Your absence will make itself reminded whenever I look at your picture. Your picture will bring tears to the eyes of your friends and family. Your friends and family will… No, I'm sorry. I can't and shouldn't continue… It's stupid and pointless and it hurts and I don't want to. I don't want to sit here and be like if you're already dead. All I want is for you to wake up, but the doctors have told me that they're sorry, but certain you won't. The chance is like 0.1 in a million, or less. It's too slim even me to get my hopes up on.

I just want to scream and clutch my head and wail until everything goes away and turns back to normal. This isn't the way it should be. You shouldn't die and you shouldn't even be in a coma. It's wrong! Wrong and… and so unfair!
Mum says that life is unfair sometimes. She also says that the ones God loves die young, because he wants them to be with him in heaven, but I don't want to believe that. And if that really is the case, God is nothing but a SELFISH idiot! …Or… No, I shouldn't say that. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry!

I'm sorry, Matt… And I guess should apologize to God too… But mostly Matt. I'm not mad at you, don't even think that thought, but this is hard for me, okay? You've always been there for me, and I always thought you would be too, and I've never even tried to picture a world without you in it. It seems impossible. Things like these were never supposed to happen. Not to me, you, not to anyone.

If I glance at the clock, I will see that there's only thirty minutes left for you to live. So I won't.

Mum and dad should be coming soon, though I wonder if dad will be able to get himself into the room. He should, because otherwise, I think he knows he'll regret it for the rest of his life.


Dear Matt      04.23 pm     11/3-2002

I don't know what to write. I love you, onii-san. I'm speechless.

I sat there beside you, still clutching your hand, as the doctor came into your room. He sat down in one of those chairs that look really comfortable, but in reality aren't. He didn't even try to talk to me, just sat there, waiting for mum and dad to finally show up. When they did, he got up, grabbed a notebook and his pen, and greeted them as if they were old friends of his. Dad reluctantly got himself inside of your room. The first thing he did was to take the other seat beside you, and then tears welled up in his eyes. It was a long time since I last saw our dad cry, if I've ever seen him cry. He always gives the impression of being so 'unemotional', but I know he loves you more than you can imagine. I think his bad conscience is the reason why he hasn't dared to come into your room to see you, and just stayed outside, looking in through that window. Maybe it all felt a bit less real for him like that? I don't know…

And you lust lay there, quiet, unruffled and pale as the moon.

I watched as mum signed some sort of form, a thick bundle of papers, and then her hands started trembling so much that she dropped the pen.

The doctor drew a deep sigh and looked from you to me, to our parents, and then back to you.

"Who is going to… err… pull the plug?" he asked awkwardly. "I'm sorry to sound so drastic, but you do know that it is against our policy to…"

"We know." dad said, his voice breaking. He still kept his gaze on you, holding one of your motionless hands, and not cowering for a second this time. "Just… isn't there any way we could just get a little more time…?"

The doctor answered with silence.

After a while, mum broke it.

"Tk? Would you like to...?"

 I stared at her in shock.
No!

She was asking me to take the life of my own brother! I can't believe that the thought even crossed her mind! I could never do such a thing, and especially not to you, Matt!

I shook my head furiously and clasped your hand even tighter, as if I thought you'd squeeze back.

Mum looked pleadingly at the doctor, who sighed again and slowly, like Death himself, made his way to the horrible, beeping machine. He looked at his wrist-watch and lay a hand on the socket.

"Death occurred at… 03.42 pm."

He then pulled it with a snap.

At first there was nothing. Absolutely nothing. The beeps of the machine were gone, and weirdly enough, all I wished for in that moment was to hear them again. In my chest, there was a strange ache. It spread from there, all the way to my fingertips, my throat and my eyes, even my legs. It made the lump in my throat swell enough for me to almost choke on and the small muscles in my face pulled as I tried stopping my lip from quivering. I brought your cold hand to my hot tears that were streaming down my cheeks, and then let out a pain-racked wail. I just wanted to creep out of my skin.

I could distantly hear mum and dad's sobs, as from far, far away from me.

My heartbeats felt rasp and it ached only to breathe. I can remember the feeling so clearly it pains me even now to just think back at it. Numbing and tearing and throbbing and screaming, all at the same time, gnawing at my most inner being.

It was then the unimaginable happened…

You breathed.      

A/N: Aww, c'mon… Please write a review!